Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers: A Daughter's Guide

by Brenda Stephens

Validation, compassion, and guidance for relationships with narcissistic mothers

As the daughter of a mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), it may have been difficult to receive the validation and nurturing needed to recognize your value—but there’s a road to recovery. Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers is filled with guidance and evidence-based strategies for recognizing what narcissistic abuse is, understanding its effect on your life and core identity, and establishing healthy relationships moving forward.

Learn how to navigate communication to protect yourself from the manipulation you’ve experienced. Discover tools for processing your emotions, creating and maintaining boundaries, breaking the cycle of narcissistic abuse, and taking care of yourself. You are not alone!

Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers

An introduction to NPD—Gain a deeper understanding of what NPD is, what causes it, how to identify it, and the different ways in which it manifests. The mother-daughter dynamic—Explore the dynamic between daughters and narcissistic mothers, including common relationship traits like role reversal, codependency, attachment, and enabling. Real-life experiences—Read others’ experiences with narcissistic mothers, including recovery, self-care, and moving forward.

Reclaim your identity and thrive with practical tools and guidance for daughters of narcissistic mothers.

Genres: Self Help, Mental Health, Psychology, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Health

134 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 22, 2020

About the author

LPCC

Reviews

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

First book of 2025 - I’M STARTING OUT AGGRESSIVE AND VERY CHALANT!!

Major awoogas in this book:
1. Ambivalent attachment - caretaker will only tend to needs occasionally
2. The child learns she is a burden if parent cannot connect to her emotional needs
3. “As she grows older, she will not understand what it is to have a trusting and loving relationship and may be attracted to others who seem emotionally unavailable because this feeling is familiar to her.” This one hurt. Shout out to my besties that have been calling me out for years on my romantic attraction to emotionally unavailable people.

[Keyara Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good book, wish it was more detailed in areas and tools with the subject matter. It makes really good points but it moves on fast from them. It's a good introduction for someone already on the path of discovery and recovery from the narcissist parent. This is not the book to start with but it's great for along the way growth.

[Kiki O'Connor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as thorough a read as I had hoped for by a psychologist and therapist. A bit simplistic in its description of the narcissist and her behaviour. It’s surely much more than about buying expensive bags, cars and complaining about your daughters body or appearance. And very basic, superficial and repetitive examples of put downs and forms of abuse. Also the narration was very weird and annoying. Strange intonations and timings.

[Zee Monodee · Rating 4 out of 5]

One best read a book or find out a lot more about narcissistic mothers before picking up this one, as it's really a workbook - it starts with definitions of what a narcissistic mother is and goes a little into the hows & whys of it, but other than that, there isn't a lot of information pertinent to that topic. And it doesn't need to, because it's the workbook for the daughters of such mothers
The prompts and exercises really do a good job of helping one navigate through their feelings and identifying their values so they can find the groundedness to become their own person
However, the pitfall here is that it does bring up a lot of trauma, and not everyone will be in the right mindset to deal with it properly - this kind of work suggested in this workbook is best done with a solid support system around, preferably a therapist or counsellor around to help deal with all the trauma and feelings and memories that will be dredged up

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

A: I don’t think it helped that the audible speaker was so robotic that it made me deeply uncomfortable, but a lot of the information I already knew. Some parts were really helpful in recognising certain traits, but I wasn’t keen on how it was written like a self-help book rather than a deeper psychological insight to narcissism.

[Janae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me preface my comments with I was given an ARC of the book. I found the book to be very accessible. There was limited jargon, and whenever it was used, it was clearly defined. How the book is split into 2 halves - the first half defining narcissistic personality disorder and the second half recovering from that narcissistic relationship - adds to its accessibility. Learning how someone came to have narcissistic personality disorder, offers education and insight that can lead to empathy and healing. It provides the daughter with awareness that her mother is not the way she is because of anything that the daughter did. In the second half of the book, each chapter concludes with a fantastic summary of the chapter with actionable items to carry forward and remember. This book, while directed at the mother-daughter relationship, is beneficial to anyone who has been in or is in a relationship with a person with narcissistic personality disorder.

[Julia $haw · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent and concise exploration of the emerging concept of narcissistic abuse, particularly as it manifests in the mother-daughter relationship. The book clearly outlines the causes, expressions, and consequences of this form of abuse. While painful to read at times, it offers a compassionate, validating hand to those on the path to healing.

Growing up, it was hard for me to name or even recognize how I was being affected. It’s incredibly affirming to see someone articulate this experience so clearly and thoroughly. This book is a must-read for many women and, in my view, a key resource for women’s empowerment.

The emotional fallout—overwhelm, insecurity, loss of motivation, and deep wounds to self-worth—is not limited to relationships with narcissistic mothers. Narcissists in any role can have devastating effects, though the mother figure’s influence on development makes it especially damaging.

As Brenda wisely notes, we live in a society that often rewards narcissistic behavior—especially in men. It’s of the utmost importance that we remember empathy and what it feels like to be valued and worthy for our authentic selves. I hope more women will come to recognize these dynamics in their lives and take steps to reclaim their power. The world needs us! <3

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through the Amazon Vine program in exchange for an honest review.

While this is by no means a comprehensive book, it is very helpful!

It's a short read broken into two parts - identifying narcissism and recovering from it. The book has anecdotes from the authors clients, definitions and symptoms, and helpful information on next steps. The book breaks down how narcissism can start, how it manifests, how it can effect people, and ways to take care of yourself and grow in the future. There are resources listed in the book and other helpful information.

Overall a great find!

[Laura B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and not enough details or elaborations on points given. How to recognise your mother is a narcissist, how to heal with her, and how to heal. All quite brief.

If you have read many other similar books, this book could serve as a reminder of important points, but as a first book you turn to for help, no. Choose others.

[Cecilia De Luna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Related, but not related

I feel related in many sections, but I don’t feel that it’s for my circumstances because I’m deaf, which is a different lifestyle that’s not familiar towards hearing people.

[Koko · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be helpful in understanding my narcissistic mother in law. The abuse I experienced from my narcissistic mother in law was fairly steady and mostly predictable until my husband died which caused her behavior to explode into new dimensions in severity and frequency. I’ve gone no contact with her but I am still very close with my husband’s sister. This helps give me insight to how I can heal myself but also be supportive of my sister in law who still struggling to maintain a relationship with her mother. It can be tricky to navigate supporting my sister in law and her relationship while I no longer desire to have a relationship with her mom. It can be triggering to hear about the abuse she still endures. So will need to figure out what boundaries will be healthy for me but supportive of sister in law. Overall an insightful read.

[Scott Worden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful and Insightful

Although I’m not a daughter of a narcissistic mother, I’m a son of one. This book helped me to understand why my mom was the way she was and now I can heal from it.

[Mcat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely hits home. I do wish the examples of narcissism used in here went beyond mothers criticizing their daughter’s weight. That example is worth a mention, but surely there are more subtle examples that could have also been used, since narcissism isn’t always as obvious

[Peg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recovering

Simple easy to read explanations for why a daughter with narcissistic mother struggles with just about everything in her life.
Plain language helped me understand and stop feeling as guilty.
Helpful book.

[Tat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what I was looking for. Thank you

[RavenReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short self help book. It was quick and to the point. It was very informative. A 4.5 rating.

[Ak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great quick read

Both informational and has practical advice. Highly recommend for any adult woman who has survived being raised by a narcissist.

[Taylor Poston · Rating 5 out of 5]

exactly what I was looking for. some parts made me feel like the author knows my mom lol. Made me feel very seen which is helping me with healing my mother wound.

[Esperanza · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must have for daughters of narc mothers. Lots of helpful information. Well worth a read.

[Anita Nother Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very helpful, validating book. A quick read that gives you a roadmap to surviving narcissistic abuse and then living a fulfilling life afterwards.

[Jenne LePard · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's one of those books that I couldn't put down due to realting so much to the words. Such an eye opener.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was really informative and helpful. Worth the read.

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written in plain language, not overly complex. May be helpful for people just starting their journey.

[Katherine Mahoney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opening. So helpful to me to help me understand myself better.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty similar to other books on NPD I've read. Still a good read.

[A'Lana Bates · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the book a maddenly simplified tale of what is one of the most complex issues between mothers and daughters. My Psych minor taught me more.

[Bri Bratcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfectly described my experience as a daughter to a narcissistic mother.

[Fed · Rating 2 out of 5]

The repetition of mentioning that the reader should go to therapy is annoying. Overselling decreases the author’s credibility significantly. As if she wrote the book to get clients only!

[Giulia Rossi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very useful

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this last year