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Modern Romance
Witch Weekly's 'Modern Romance' series asks anonymous witches and wizards to record a week in their sex lives—with comic, tragic, provocative, and patently revealing results. Each week, a new episode unfolds in the lives of the Wizarding World's elite. Multiple pairings, post-war, EWE. COMPLETE.
- GenresFan FictionLGBTRomance
1067 pages, Unknown Binding
Published July 19, 2017
6 people are currently reading
63 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
December 30, 2024
I'm a little at loss how to review this one, because this book contains so much. But first I should say: This is a HP fanfiction and I want to make it clear that I don't support JKR in any way. I loved the books as a teen and can't really even touch them now, so I'm so grateful for the FF authors who write stories that are so much more inclusive and fun and creative. These are such comfort reads for me. I'm sorry if seeing a HP content of any type is upsetting to you and please just ignore this if that is the case. (I know that seeing some type of HP content/objects is still upsetting to me...)
On to the story now! First, let me tell you how incredibly ambitious of a project this is. It follows a format of Sex Diaries which is apparently a real thing. You can see the real-life version here, I'm personally honestly a little bit scared to dive into that... But the idea is: there are 19 Chapters, each in a different POV and in the form of diary (of sorts...), all characters are also always anonymized in a new fun way so you have to guess who is who - wasn't really hard for me, but I can imagine that if you are not familiar with this author FF work it might be a bit tough in some places. The amount of work that had to go into this is staggering, not to say that some of the anonymization bits add new layers onto the story and helps you understand the characters better in fact - I didn't love the anonymization in all chapters, but it was never awful. This also means that this gets the best from short-story and epic format. You can read just one chapter and don't feel like the story left you hanging, because each diary kind of works as a story on its own. BUT there are also underlying larger story-lines that you can follow throughout the whole thing + you usually get glimpses and more than glimpses of the past characters which is neat since you will want to see more of some of those.
I guess I will focus on some of my favourites now - I guess spoilers from now on? I will hide the bigger ones, but... you know.
- I'm not the biggest Thedore Nott/Harry Potter shipper, idk, I guess it's just a bit too niche, I can't really see it so well, but I LOVE how oliviablake writes Nott. She basically reinvented him, since let's be honest, in the original books, he's not even a character, but I really do love him here. He's... kind of campy? But in a very old-aristocracy way? While also... being kind of... anti-establishment? He's a wild mix and I love him.
- There are SO MANY bisexual characters here! Honestly I felt it was almost unreal, but I guess this is how I imagine the world to be so, I'm not complaining. List of bisexual(/pansexual) characters for those interested: that's six characters, not counting the gay ones?! Which, there is fair number of those too... , but I mean.... that's FF for you, that's why I love reading those!
That said, I didn't think that the way queerness was written here was always perfect, there were some little details that were off, but it wasn't anything major and I still enjoyed that part a lot!
- There are also characters that are clearly neurodivergent-coded, which I didn't notice on my first read at all. Namely Hermione Granger and Percy Weasley. I really loved that aspect of the book, sadly, this was mostly visible in their POV chapters and not much after, which I thought was a shame, but it also does make sense.
- A surprising favourite for me would be Fleur Delacour-Weasley. I didn't really remember her part of the story that well, so following it was extra fun. I also think that olivieblake's writing skills really shined here - Fleur isn't well loved by the other characters and she writes it so, that you don't really care much for her either UNTIL her chapter comes! And did I love it, not only is Percy Weasley a surprisingly excellent fit for her (wouldn't say that at all before reading this fic), her chapter is even more about finding herself and I guess this would be a pretty big spoiler, so sans spoiler I really loved where she ended up being.
- Pairing that absolutely and surprisingly won me over the first time I read this and that I still really loved this time around was Andromeda Tonks/George Weasley. I won't try explain to you why this pairing works, because I guess I would fail, but it really does. Andromeda is such a tragic character in the original works and I adore her and I always love reading about her and... this was great! Also, thinking about it again, I DO adore a great mix of humour and tragedy and oh boy, does this chapter deliver on that!
- I'm not a great Dramione shipper. I'm not opposed to it, but it has to be done well and I need other characters in the mix as well. Really, olivieblake is the best Dramione writer I know... I, actually, don't think I read the pairing from anyone else since I discovered her? Because what would be the point, really... I especially love her Hermione, she is always a fully fledged character. She is nerdy, but she is also... let the quote spoke on this one instead, I guess:
- Another great thing is that the fic doesn't bash anyone. Dramione fics have a tendency to bash Ron especially and the fic seems to start in that way (there is a bad sex involved). But the story has a great compassion for everyone, showing that some people just aren't the best fit together and that communication is important, we can't simply put all the blame on one party. Ron is a delightful character in this fic and this time around I related to him surprisingly quite a lot.
Also, his relationship with Pansy was everything:
- I was also really surprised how much I enjoyed reading Narcissa's chapter. She was also a really satisfying character to follow, especially in her growth and in her process of accepting responsibility for her actions.
- Also, while I don't love the Neville/Blaise ship, I do adore the way Neville is written, although I wish the fic ended on a bit happier chapter.
- What I truly picked this fic again for though... are the polycule chapters. Honestly, this is such unlikely ship, but there are Marcus Flint/Daphne Greengrass, they are in arranged marriage kind of situation and they like each other very much... the only issue is... Marcus is gay and in love with Oliver Wood, ups! When we first meet them, they are in an open relationship with Marcus having casual sex-something on the side with Cormac McLaggen. It's complicated and writing out just the mechanics of everything feels weird and like that's not the point. Either way the result is somewhat a Marcus/Daphne/Cormac + Oliver/Comac + possibly in the future also Marcus/Oliver. I think that when I first read it, it was one of my first experience of reading polyamorous romance and... back then I was surprised by my positive reaction. The positive reaction mostly stands. Honestly, my main complaint was that I wanted more of them, I felt like some of the issues could have been delved more deeply into and as I already said in the updates I love reading about Cormac McLaggen for some reason, when it's done well that is.
Honestly, there is so much more I could be talking about, there is so many characters that I didn't even mention. For example how olivieblake truly brings out Minerva McGonagall's sport-girl side! But there isn't just the space to talk about everything. This fic is just a delight to read, it has just the right balance of romance and cozy and plot and character work for me. I really enjoyed this slow re-read, definitely will re-visit some other octavieblake's fics in the future. I think Amortentia probably... Also, while reading this fic I discovered that olivieblake is in fact Olivie Blake the author of The Atlas Six, so that sky rocketed through my TBR! What a small word!
"Well, when it's the right person, I don't think you'll have any doubts," Kevin [George] says sagely. I tell him it's unlike him to be so wise, and he shrugs. "Well, I also charmed your shoelaces to trip you," he says, just as I take a step and stumble clumsily to the ground.
On to the story now! First, let me tell you how incredibly ambitious of a project this is. It follows a format of Sex Diaries which is apparently a real thing. You can see the real-life version here, I'm personally honestly a little bit scared to dive into that... But the idea is: there are 19 Chapters, each in a different POV and in the form of diary (of sorts...), all characters are also always anonymized in a new fun way so you have to guess who is who - wasn't really hard for me, but I can imagine that if you are not familiar with this author FF work it might be a bit tough in some places. The amount of work that had to go into this is staggering, not to say that some of the anonymization bits add new layers onto the story and helps you understand the characters better in fact - I didn't love the anonymization in all chapters, but it was never awful. This also means that this gets the best from short-story and epic format. You can read just one chapter and don't feel like the story left you hanging, because each diary kind of works as a story on its own. BUT there are also underlying larger story-lines that you can follow throughout the whole thing + you usually get glimpses and more than glimpses of the past characters which is neat since you will want to see more of some of those.
I was young then; I said a lot of things I didn't mean, like "I'm straight," or "of course I'll call you tomorrow."
I guess I will focus on some of my favourites now - I guess spoilers from now on? I will hide the bigger ones, but... you know.
- I'm not the biggest Thedore Nott/Harry Potter shipper, idk, I guess it's just a bit too niche, I can't really see it so well, but I LOVE how oliviablake writes Nott. She basically reinvented him, since let's be honest, in the original books, he's not even a character, but I really do love him here. He's... kind of campy? But in a very old-aristocracy way? While also... being kind of... anti-establishment? He's a wild mix and I love him.
"Let's do something," he whispers. "Like what?" I ask. "Have some coffee and watch the sunrise," he says. I tell him the sun isn't rising anytime soon, but he seems to consider this a trivial detail.
- There are SO MANY bisexual characters here! Honestly I felt it was almost unreal, but I guess this is how I imagine the world to be so, I'm not complaining. List of bisexual(/pansexual) characters for those interested: that's six characters, not counting the gay ones?! Which, there is fair number of those too... , but I mean.... that's FF for you, that's why I love reading those!
That said, I didn't think that the way queerness was written here was always perfect, there were some little details that were off, but it wasn't anything major and I still enjoyed that part a lot!
I'm a few drinks past tipsy now. Am I attracted to him? I'm not going to say that I'm not. Maybe that's an odd suspicion to have about myself, but there it is.
- There are also characters that are clearly neurodivergent-coded, which I didn't notice on my first read at all. Namely Hermione Granger and Percy Weasley. I really loved that aspect of the book, sadly, this was mostly visible in their POV chapters and not much after, which I thought was a shame, but it also does make sense.
"Dinner?" Henry [Bill] asks, appearing at my door. I look up. "Is that an invitation?" I ask, because it's sometimes hard for me to tell. He smiles. "Come on," he says, and I follow.
- A surprising favourite for me would be Fleur Delacour-Weasley. I didn't really remember her part of the story that well, so following it was extra fun. I also think that olivieblake's writing skills really shined here - Fleur isn't well loved by the other characters and she writes it so, that you don't really care much for her either UNTIL her chapter comes! And did I love it, not only is Percy Weasley a surprisingly excellent fit for her (wouldn't say that at all before reading this fic), her chapter is even more about finding herself and I guess this would be a pretty big spoiler, so sans spoiler I really loved where she ended up being.
I have to be an active participant in this little bout of nothingness, because if I am not a siren, then I am simply sad and lonely and scared.
- Pairing that absolutely and surprisingly won me over the first time I read this and that I still really loved this time around was Andromeda Tonks/George Weasley. I won't try explain to you why this pairing works, because I guess I would fail, but it really does. Andromeda is such a tragic character in the original works and I adore her and I always love reading about her and... this was great! Also, thinking about it again, I DO adore a great mix of humour and tragedy and oh boy, does this chapter deliver on that!
Pol [George] steps closer and I swallow heavily, nearly tripping over a set of enchanted wooden ducks that quack their way across the floor. He says my name in a low voice, his brown eyes settling on mine. "Am I really so terrible?" he asks me, and it's a devastating question, because he is not. He's charming and funny and clever, and he's really rather handsome and oh, so young- and therein lies the terror.
"Is it my ear?" he asks, gesturing to the side of his head. "Is it because I'll never be able to wear glasses?" he bemoans.
- I'm not a great Dramione shipper. I'm not opposed to it, but it has to be done well and I need other characters in the mix as well. Really, olivieblake is the best Dramione writer I know... I, actually, don't think I read the pairing from anyone else since I discovered her? Because what would be the point, really... I especially love her Hermione, she is always a fully fledged character. She is nerdy, but she is also... let the quote spoke on this one instead, I guess:
Do I like sex, or do I like orgasms? This might require additional exploration. I make a note in my diary scheduling time to look into it, and promptly fall asleep.
- Another great thing is that the fic doesn't bash anyone. Dramione fics have a tendency to bash Ron especially and the fic seems to start in that way (there is a bad sex involved). But the story has a great compassion for everyone, showing that some people just aren't the best fit together and that communication is important, we can't simply put all the blame on one party. Ron is a delightful character in this fic and this time around I related to him surprisingly quite a lot.
Luckily my afternoon panic takes me almost to the end of the day.
Marvelous.
Also, his relationship with Pansy was everything:
"I want you," I tell him, because I know he's never heard those words before. "I want you," repeat as I lean forward, kissing him. "Only you," I whisper, and he pulls me into his chest.
- I was also really surprised how much I enjoyed reading Narcissa's chapter. She was also a really satisfying character to follow, especially in her growth and in her process of accepting responsibility for her actions.
It's never actually occurred to me to be sorry before. I'd so long thought of my family's crimes as belonging to Brutus [Lucius] alone, but clearly they're mine too, even if I never technically raised a wand in defense of my prejudices. I worried about the implications of our choices, of course, but never like this. I'd never wondered what centuries of family's rhetoric might have cost a handsome young man who'd done no wrong. I find it doesn't sit well with me at all, even as Cassius [Bill] slides an arm around my waist, drawing lightly with his nails against my skin.
- Also, while I don't love the Neville/Blaise ship, I do adore the way Neville is written, although I wish the fic ended on a bit happier chapter.
I sometimes imagine myself doing maths, which seems relatively straightforward. I always seemed to lack a connection to magic. The spare dregs of it I had were such a strain I often had headaches while I was in school, like I was squeezing every last drop of magic out of myself and it left me shriveled up and wasted every night.
- What I truly picked this fic again for though... are the polycule chapters. Honestly, this is such unlikely ship, but there are Marcus Flint/Daphne Greengrass, they are in arranged marriage kind of situation and they like each other very much... the only issue is... Marcus is gay and in love with Oliver Wood, ups! When we first meet them, they are in an open relationship with Marcus having casual sex-something on the side with Cormac McLaggen. It's complicated and writing out just the mechanics of everything feels weird and like that's not the point. Either way the result is somewhat a Marcus/Daphne/Cormac + Oliver/Comac + possibly in the future also Marcus/Oliver. I think that when I first read it, it was one of my first experience of reading polyamorous romance and... back then I was surprised by my positive reaction. The positive reaction mostly stands. Honestly, my main complaint was that I wanted more of them, I felt like some of the issues could have been delved more deeply into and as I already said in the updates I love reading about Cormac McLaggen for some reason, when it's done well that is.
Is it strange to spend all day cleaning the house in advance of a threesome?
Honestly, there is so much more I could be talking about, there is so many characters that I didn't even mention. For example how olivieblake truly brings out Minerva McGonagall's sport-girl side! But there isn't just the space to talk about everything. This fic is just a delight to read, it has just the right balance of romance and cozy and plot and character work for me. I really enjoyed this slow re-read, definitely will re-visit some other octavieblake's fics in the future. I think Amortentia probably... Also, while reading this fic I discovered that olivieblake is in fact Olivie Blake the author of The Atlas Six, so that sky rocketed through my TBR! What a small word!
September 20, 2021
Olivieblake OWNS love and humor. She kills it every time. Each story and couple brings something new and interesting to the work. Each character is treated with equal respect and given the same amount of love and depth. An underrated masterpiece honestly.
My fav ships/storylines were...
Fleur x Percy
Nottpott
Pansy x Ron
HIGHLY RECOMMEND
My fav ships/storylines were...
Fleur x Percy
Nottpott
Pansy x Ron
HIGHLY RECOMMEND
January 31, 2024
I needed this reread, still one of my favourite fics ever
March 11, 2023
Just such a great concept
March 12, 2024
I was always a sucker for tell-all sex and relationship columns like the ones in Cosmopolitan magazine or The Cut, which is what this fanfic is styled after. And I think this author captured the essence of those columns perfectly while bringing it into the world of Harry Potter. I liked that each chapter had a new narrator but that all the characters interacted with one another and some of the previously revealed relationship drama poured over into others’ stories.
However, I was in the dark over identities when it came to characters like Theo Nott and Daphne Greengrass. They are basically fanon characters, so there was really no way I could have recognized them without hunting through the comment section theories. I’ve read fanfics where I enjoyed the characterization of Theo (“Breath Mints/Battle Scars” by Onyx_and_Elm), but he just came off as Discount Store Draco here. Ah well. The use of lesser known characters (and the occasional need to take notes to remember character aliases) was one of the only things I didn’t enjoy.
My favorites:
- Theo/Harry – despite my problems with Theo's characterization. I'm a sucker for bisexual sadboys and foes to lovers.
- Draco/Hermione.
- Everything about Chapter 4. All of it filled me with glee. George and Percy being best friends warmed my heart but also broke it into a million pieces. And Percy and Pansy are just the best whenever they interacted.
- Marcus/Oliver hate-sex.
- Dysfunctional threesomes.
- Chapter 14 (though mixing “Romeo and Juliet” and “Pride and Prejudice” was an odd, and not great, choice)
My not-so-favorites:
- Chapter 5. I just… didn’t care for it. I didn’t like the characterization of Ginny. I didn’t like that Neville, who turned into a certified motherf--ing badass in the canon series, was back to being nervous and awkward. And the Ginny/Blaise dynamic was a bit too familiar and made me sad.
- The age-gap romances. Not my cup of tea, but they must be the author’s because there were a lot of them.
- Chapter 10. I found myself skimming it.
- Percy and Pansy not getting together, and Ron treating Padma like dirt. Again. Actually, I was left a bit dissatisfied by all of the Weasley end-game relationships.
Verdict
Do you love Harry Potter fanfics? This is for you. My list of top-tier HP fics goes “Manacled,” “Breath Mints/Battle Scars,” and then this. There were so many things I adored about this story.
However, I was in the dark over identities when it came to characters like Theo Nott and Daphne Greengrass. They are basically fanon characters, so there was really no way I could have recognized them without hunting through the comment section theories. I’ve read fanfics where I enjoyed the characterization of Theo (“Breath Mints/Battle Scars” by Onyx_and_Elm), but he just came off as Discount Store Draco here. Ah well. The use of lesser known characters (and the occasional need to take notes to remember character aliases) was one of the only things I didn’t enjoy.
My favorites:
- Theo/Harry – despite my problems with Theo's characterization. I'm a sucker for bisexual sadboys and foes to lovers.
- Draco/Hermione.
- Everything about Chapter 4. All of it filled me with glee. George and Percy being best friends warmed my heart but also broke it into a million pieces. And Percy and Pansy are just the best whenever they interacted.
- Marcus/Oliver hate-sex.
- Dysfunctional threesomes.
- Chapter 14 (though mixing “Romeo and Juliet” and “Pride and Prejudice” was an odd, and not great, choice)
My not-so-favorites:
- Chapter 5. I just… didn’t care for it. I didn’t like the characterization of Ginny. I didn’t like that Neville, who turned into a certified motherf--ing badass in the canon series, was back to being nervous and awkward. And the Ginny/Blaise dynamic was a bit too familiar and made me sad.
- The age-gap romances. Not my cup of tea, but they must be the author’s because there were a lot of them.
- Chapter 10. I found myself skimming it.
- Percy and Pansy not getting together, and Ron treating Padma like dirt. Again. Actually, I was left a bit dissatisfied by all of the Weasley end-game relationships.
Verdict
Do you love Harry Potter fanfics? This is for you. My list of top-tier HP fics goes “Manacled,” “Breath Mints/Battle Scars,” and then this. There were so many things I adored about this story.
January 25, 2024
I so enjoy this method! Keeping Up with the Hogwarts Crew is so much fun - unexpected pairings, code names which are fun to detangle (and because it been up for so long, the comment section helps to “double check” that I’m correct), and bringing life to characters that I brush over or haven’t continued thinking about.
The writing is beautiful and clear, the only hardship is that they all sound the same (the writing is consistent but they all have the same “voice” which I feel lets down some characters) but I love the adventure this takes me on!
The writing is beautiful and clear, the only hardship is that they all sound the same (the writing is consistent but they all have the same “voice” which I feel lets down some characters) but I love the adventure this takes me on!
March 5, 2023
3,5⭐ Some of the stories were hilarious. Some purely heart warming. Some broke you and left you into the dust. Few were a bit ehh. But overall I enjoyed reading it a lot.
February 4, 2024
spicyyyyyy
December 8, 2023
olivie blake has never and probably will never disappoint me. this was great and so unique; loved this concept.
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