The Second Happy: Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better Than Your Honeymoon

by Kevin A. Myers

What is the secret to a healthy, happy, fulfilling marriage?

Nearly every marriage starts out happy, and if we're honest, nearly every marriage at some point becomes unhappy. Is there a solution? Can an unhappy marriage really get back to being happy? Can it be truly and authentically happy--even better than it was at first? Kevin and Marcia Myers, married for thirty-seven years through nearly every challenge a couple can face, emphatically say yes. 

Revealing seven practices that offer help and hope for a happy and enduring marriage, The Second Happy is a captivating, practical resource that provides the tools necessary to tune-up, overhaul, or even rebuild your marriage. Practices to sustain and strengthen marriage include the

breaking the quit cycle;picking a fair fight so both people win;keeping disagreements from escalating; andremoving pretense from your relationship.Rooted in Scripture and contemporary insights from the Myers' marriage, as well as real stories from other couples, this revelatory book shows how any marriage can regain depth, meaning and, yes, happiness. 

Genres: Christianity, Relationships

238 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 9, 2021

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was really enjoyable. I liked how both Kevin and Marcia share their insights and experiences throughout. Their honesty and vulnerability was refreshing.The principles they use are great and Biblically centered as well.

[Josh Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a useful marriage book from a Christian perspective. The authors assert most marriages start happy but the churn of life and our own fallenness put pressure on the marriage relationship. This downturn may lead us to avoid each other or quit. This is not what we want. The authors seek to help us find our way out the other side to the “second happy.”

This book was less cheesy than many relationship books and the principles they encourage were concise and helpful.
1. Break the quit cycle: we know hardship will happen, instead of wallowing in it or quitting, we need to fight through to the other side
2. Get your hands up: we are stubborn and try to go it alone, but really we need to plead with God for help in prayer.
3. Pick a fair fight: while the book has a whole plan for how to have a negotiated fight, even the idea of fighting fair is very useful. They encourage not ambushing your spouse, letting your spouse give their side uninterrupted, and going great lengths to truly understand your spouse’s position.
4. Take a knee or two: compromise is the usual goal, but some decisions do not brook compromises. Either you have an additional kid, or you don’t. Either you move or you don’t. There’s not really an in-between in some situations. Peace will require one spouse to take a knee and submit to the other. We need to be ready to do this in some contexts. If you cannot bring yourself to submit to your spouse, you may have to take two knees and submit to God.
5. Don’t settle for the hollow Easter bunny: we need a strong foundation in faith and actively pursuing God or we will not withstand life’s pressures just like a hollow bunny cannot withstand the pressure a solid one can. Solid bunnies are just better.
6. Evict the elephant: we can’t run away from issues and need to confront things that are a problem
7. Choose your bucket wisely: our reactions either calm things down (water) or fire things up (gasoline). We may not feel like we are, but we choose to stir conflict or dampen it down gently. Choose the water bucket.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

In his book, The Second Happy, Kevin and his wife Marcia outline, discuss and give practical examples of 7 practices they have come up with that have helped them in their marriage through the years. Sharing many of their own stories as they navigated a relationship between two people from very different backgrounds with a few offerings from other couples, there is sure to be something anyone in a relationship can take away from perusing this book. Thanks to Netgalley for the chance to read this for my honest review.

[Sumner Dolleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book, really interesting to read. I think if I could summarize the book down to 3 key points it would be
- Communicate with your partner genuinely and honestly
- Believe the best in your partner at all times
- Make your relationship one that revolves around God

I am not married but I think this is something that is helpful to consider and provides a good conversation starter about values I would want to have in a marriage.

[Janine Phelan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, with great stories that drive the point home. The vulnerability of Kevin and Marcia to open up to us and allow us to see them as they are is inspiring.
I am challenging myself to make our marriage better with the help of PK, Marcia and God through honest communication with myself and my husband.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate this book! Addressing the elephants in the room. This book is written by a couple and they are very open and vulnerable about their experiences. Their goal is to be happier than they were on their honeymoon and to not let the fire burn out! Lots of interesting thoughts and I found it inspiring! 💕 It’s written from a Christian perspective.

[Ally Puri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very great book. Loved all of the examples, real life stories, and the questions at the end.

[Nicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little preachy/religious for my tastes but overall good messages.

[Roger Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid book! His principles and illustrations associated with them were on point. Time to get to work!

[Janey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good points and accounts were shared throughout. Some seemed a bit rigid and there were lots of biblical quotes and references, but as I listened to this audio with an open mind, I enjoyed it.