Alive AF : One Anxious Mom's Journey to Becoming Alcohol Free

by Samantha Perkins

Married mother of two discovers the part alcohol has played in her lifelong struggle with anxiety. There's no amount of kale that can cure a hangover. Because alcohol is toxic to the human body. Raised in rural Kentucky in the 1980s, Perkins takes her readers on a nostalgic journey as she evolves from a little girl who idealized the beautiful, happy people in beer commercials to a college kid who loses her full-ride scholarship for drinking in the dorms. As a little girl, Perkins didn’t understand her anxiety. She just felt scared, lonely and uneasy most of the time. She would have gladly carried a watermelon to gain entry to a fun party like the one on Dirty Dancing to avoid ruminating thoughts. She grew up thinking the world was divided into drinkers and drunks. Drinkers used alcohol to celebrate—freedom, good weather, youth. Drunks were sweaty, messy losers day-drinking in sticky bars. She spent her young adult life searching—in college parties, in dark bars wearing Forever 21 outfits, in antidepressants that put her in a fog, in dead-end relationships, in bags of overpriced kale from Whole Foods, in local breweries serving hand-crafted beer made from organic hops. She was searching for something to stop the racing thoughts, the irrational moments of panic, the feeling disaster is about to strike. She didn’t miss work, her house was clean, her kids were happy. Clearly, she was not an alcoholic. Have you ever taken one of those online quizzes to see if you’re an alcoholic? You know, the ones that ask questions Do you often miss work or family obligations due to drinking? Never. Does your drinking put you in dangerous situations? Nope. Does your drinking cause persistent health problems? Absolutely not...unless you count debilitating anxiety. Perkins tried tweaking her diet, exercise, sleep and many other health practices while attempting to get her anxiety under control. While still drinking daily. Despite her efforts at avoidance, she finally had to face the truth that alcohol consumption was getting into the way of her living. But how do you get help for drinking if you’re not an alcoholic? Hours of online research finally led her to a blog that changed the way she would think about alcohol forever. She finally connected the dots. Alcohol was making everything worse—not better. Read how Samantha Perkins became Alive AF (Alcohol Free) and found the tools to rebuild a life full of love, support and genuine human connection. And kale. Pounds of kale.

137 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 27, 2020

Reviews

[Bonnie Blaylock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this honest book in one sitting. Samantha writes with a conversational style, easy to relate to and follow. This is in no way preachy or dogmatic. Samantha's just telling it like it is as she describes her relationship with alcohol, and how it changed unexpectedly when she had children. This topic is SO relevant and important as alcohol advertising ramps up the marketing to women and parents in particular. She was a guest on our podcast, Just Ask Your Mom, and we got so many positive responses to our conversation from women who were relieved, encouraged, and inspired by her story!

[John Ferreira · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deeply inspiring story about battling one’s own personal demons, unease, and negative self-worth. Through brutal honesty, the author shows her struggles with alcohol and how she was able to free herself from the toxin that caused much of the anxiety she wrestled with.

The author teaches us to look within, the meaning of vulnerability, and how embracing the dark allows us to see the light. This is a great book of finding hope when one might feel alone or misunderstood in the world we live in; a highly recommended read for anyone.

[Nikara Melius · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw and relatable 👌

Samantha selflessly tells her story of living with anxiety and coping with alcohol and how she became free of alcohol's grip on her in this vulnerable memoir. I am grateful to the many women who pour their hearts out for the world to read in the hope of helping even one person. In truth, I believe they are helping many!

[Barry Silverstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story of reclaiming life

Alive AF, tells the story of Samantha, who suffered from terrible anxiety, but never connected it to her drinking. It makes a very real and believable connection of how drinking impacts our lives, even when we don’t fit the “alcoholic” criteria. A hopeful story for anyone who questions their drinking.

[Amy Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated Samantha’s honesty in her journey to becoming alcohol free. I found it inspiring and written in a way that gave others permission to explore their own relationships with alcohol, especially, mothers. Thankfully, sobriety is becoming increasingly popular. I can;t wait to see where she takes this journey next!

[Chris Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational!!!

Truth and authenticity are the takeaways from this book for me. It’s the path for healing and growth. Thank you, Samantha, for documenting your journey and for sharing it with all of us.

[Lisa Loos · Rating 2 out of 5]

First, the negatives: I had a couple of issues straight off the bat with this book. First, Perkins doesn't understand the conventions of writing. For example, dialogue should be written like this:

"I don't understand," she said.
NOT
"I don't understand." She said.

This is such an elementary error, and it was used throughout the book. It was distracting and made the book hard to take seriously.

My other issue is that Perkins consistently claims she's not an alcoholic. I'm not here to judge anyone; however, I've lived around alcohol a lot and read a lot of sobriety books and what she's describing is, in my opinion, alcoholism. In any case, it doesn't matter because she realized she had issues and fixed them in her own way, so kudos to her. But the constant denial kept bringing the quote "the lady doth protest too much" into my head.

Now, the positives: I did find her book inspirational for other people interested in self publishing because she didn't give a crap--she just put it out there, haters be damned. Good for her! If someone who is so obviously not a writer can self publish a book and have it hit somewhat successfully, that gives a big push to people who actually know how to write but just need to get over their fear of putting their work out there.

Also, I found the last couple of chapters filled with hope and joy for both the simple and the big things in life and also for what's to come. And those feelings were contagious.