As You Were

by Elaine Feeney, Siobhán O'Kelly (Narrator)

Sinéad Hynes is a tough, driven, funny young property developer with a terrifying secret.

No-one knows it: not her fellow patients in a failing hospital, and certainly not her family. She has confided only in Google and a shiny magpie.

But she can’t go on like this, tirelessly trying to outstrip her past and in mortal fear of her future. Across the ward, Margaret Rose is running her chaotic family from her rose-gold Nokia. In the neighbouring bed, Jane, rarely but piercingly lucid, is searching for a decent bra and for someone to listen. Sinéad needs them both.

As You Were is about intimate histories, institutional failures, the kindness of strangers, and the darkly present past of modern Ireland. It is about women’s stories and women’s struggles. It is about seizing the moment to be free.

Wildly funny, desperately tragic, inventive and irrepressible, As You Were introduces a brilliant voice in Irish fiction with a book that is absolutely of our times.

Genres: Fiction, Ireland, Irish Literature, Contemporary, Audiobook, Novels, Book Club

8 pages, Audiobook

First published August 20, 2020

About the author

Elaine Feeney was born in the West of Ireland and lives in Athenry. She published her first chapbook, Indiscipline in 2007, and has since published three collections of poetry, Where’s Katie? (2010), The Radio Was Gospel (2014) and Rise (2017) with Salmon Publishing.

Feeney’s work has been widely published and anthologised in Poetry Review, The Stinging Fly, Oxford Poetry, Poetry Ireland, The Irish Times, The Manchester Review, Stonecutter Journal and Coppernickel.

Her debut novel, As You Were, was published by Harvill Secker/ VINTAGE in August 2020.

Reviews

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now shortlisted for the 2021 Rathbones Folio Prize.

Elaine Feeney is an Irish poet and this is her debut novel – one which I believe follows on the key themes and ideas which inspire her poetry, but also one informed by her personal experiences (after the difficult birth of her second child).

On one level this is a moving and at times almost unbearably emotional story of a mother (Sinead) who keeps her terminal cancer from her husband and three boys (confiding as we learn in the opening chapter only in a solitary unlucky magpie and in Google).

At a second level it brilliantly conveys, in a way I have not seen covered before in literary fiction, the life of a hospital ward with a group of seriously ill long term patients (including a matriarch of an extended working class – possibly traveller - family who claims to have suffered a stroke, a West Country councilman with lung cancer and his pushy daughter, a young paralysed man and an ex-school teacher suffering with dementia), their visitors, the nurses (one from Australia), orderlies (particularly a Polish one) and doctors. But more crucially I think it captures the tensions between shared camaraderie on one hand, and the lack of privacy and intimate level of disclosure of individual suffering on the other.

And on a third level it is a searing indictment of Ireland, an indictment written in a point of time, after the collapse of the (illusionary) Celtic Tiger, but before some recent liberalisation – but one which looks right back to the failed promises of independence and particularly a patriarchal and repressed society in which women’s bodies were considered almost property: abortion rights (and trips to England), domestic violence, forced marriages, unacknowledged miscarriages, the shame of illegitimate birth, the role of the Catholic church and its verging on superstitious practices, alcoholism, male philandering, the stigma of mental illness, corrupt Western Ireland politics and patronage and its entrenchment of privilege – I am tempted to say a laundry list of woes and the most affecting scenes feature a Magdalene laundry.

The layers interact cleverly I think – the narrator’s unwillingness to reveal her illness to her family and initially even to her fellow patients and her refusal to agree to any form of treatment is all I think motivated partly by the voice of her abusive father and his view that (compared to her brother) she was a worthless, head-in-the-cloud malinger and partly by her desire to retain the agency over her own body for as long as possible.

It is a book which seamlessly interweaves humour, emotion and invective – again I think capturing much of the spirit of a hospital ward and of the society about which it is written.

And all of this is told in an non-standard fashion. Unlike many other outstanding books which have a distinctive style (for example “Solar Bones” which I pick because Mike McCormack features in both Epigraph – taken from “Notes from a Coma” – and the acknowledgments: or “A Girl is a Half Formed Thing”, “Milkman”, “Reservoir 13”, “Ducks. Newburyport”) there is not a single mono-style

Instead the book (a little I think from my limited sampling like her poetry) fuses a range of different innovative styles and methods:

written summaries of text exchanges (with descriptions of emojis, deletions and “…” anticipation of replies);

one-sided overheard phone calls;

passages of streams of consciousness;

occasional word association flights;

frequently (and crucially to the story) remembered invective from the narrator’s father;

lists of Google searches, copious amounts of dialect rendered dialogue (which to be honest I found unconvincing);

repeated imagery (the stone at the heart of James’s Giant Peach, the Magpie and an old ewe being particularly recurrent);

sometimes striking prose poetry.

I think this has advantages and disadvantages – it certainly adds enjoyment and variety but it can also be hit and miss. Comparing to the other books I have mentioned above - some readers did not like the style at all and so hated the books, others (myself included in most of the cases) “got” the style and found the books totally immersive experiences. Here neither will happen I think.

It can make a book which can already be hard to parse, confusing to follow.

One of the fellow ward members suffers dementia which adds to the occasional impenetrability and did I think weaken one of the most difficult scenes in the book (as for some time I assumed that the devastating history she recounts of the suicide of the person closest to her was a fantasy). But this is a minor criticism. This is a book for those who enjoy being challenged by both style and subject matter.

Overall an ambitious and distinct debut.

My thanks to Random House UK for an ARC via NetGalley.

[JimZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to give this 4 stars. I was only going to give it 2 or 3 stars when starting out because the characters spoke with a dialect and it was hard for me to follow.
Examples:
• Yar father has diabetes, not me. …
• Ah now, they’re sure I had a bad stroke, far wan minute I was standing at the sink….
Yar=your. Far wan=For one. Me: Fer Chrissake…

But anyway, I got used to it. And then I didn’t like what I was reading. Depressing. Stuff about Ireland that I hated to be reminded of. Did you ever see “The Magdalene Sisters”? It was that sort of stuff that was brought up. Oh, and all of this is separate from the present-day circumstance of Sinéad —that she is in the hospital dying of terminal cancer and her husband and children have no idea she has cancer and is dying.

But the writing was so good. So raw. It seemed that some of the things that transpired on the Ward were preposterous, but then again, I’m the reader and Feeney is the writer, and if I don’t like it that much then I can pan the book. When all is said and done—I can’t. A powerful read. This is Elaine Feeney’s first book of prose. She has published three works of poetry. I picked this book because I was impressed with a review of it in the London Review of Books (Dentists? No Way, January 7, 2021: pp. 39-40). In the review by Naoise Dolan, she sees some similarity of the main protagonist, Sinéad, to Faye, of Rachels Cusk’s trilogy Outline, Kudos, and Transit.

What the book is about is several people who are the five patients on the Ward— Sinéad Hynes (main protagonist who has terminal cancer); Jane; Margaret Rose; Hegarty (Hegs); and Shane— and the nurse who takes care of them, Molly Zane. And their back stories and their present stories. Again. Some of it seems to beggar the imagination but what the hell…

Good job Elaine Feeney (in my book!). 🙂 🙃

Note:
• An Evening Standard, Observer and Daily Telegraph Book of the Year
• An Observer Best Debut 2020
• Winner of the Kate O'Brien Award 2021
• Shortlisted for the Irish Book Awards Novel of the Year 2020

Reviews (all very positive 😊):
• https://booksirelandmagazine.com/revi...
• https://www.independent.ie/entertainm...
• https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/bo...
• https://www.rte.ie/culture/2020/0820/...

[Peter Boyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sinéad Hynes is a thirtysomething property developer who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She can't face telling her family, so she hides the terrible news from husband Alex and her two boys. Eventually the disease takes hold and a rundown west of Ireland hospital becomes her new home. She shares a ward with four other patients. There's Hegs, a local politician and Shane, a young man paralysed from a motorbike accident. Margaret Rose is a Traveller, solving her lively family's problems from her sickbed. And last of all is Jane, a confused older woman who has a tragic story to tell. Sinéad gets to know her fellow inmates well and discovers she is not the only one coping with regret and despair.

I must admit that I found Sinéad a difficult character to warm to, despite her heartbreaking diagnosis. She's quite self-absorbed and has a very sarcastic sense of humour. She barely mentions her children and admits to cheating on her husband several times over the course of their marriage. But I also think that she doesn't like herself very much, and memories of her father's verbal abuse go some way to explaining her self-loathing.

Like Elaine Feeney, I hail from East County Galway, so I admire how well she has captured the distinct vernacular of this corner of Ireland. Her astute takes on Irish life shine through in the story, such as the failings of the health service, the lingering influence of the Catholic Church and the unique delights of Galway city. But she also has a habit for lists (such as Sinéad's Google searches) that can take up a page, which is a pet hate of mine. And I was more sympathetic to the plights of the supporting characters, given the protagonist's lack of appeal. All in all, I would read another book by this author. More of the perceptive state of the nation stuff, lose the lists and gimmicky text message conversations and she could be on to a winner.

[Anni · Rating 5 out of 5]

This debut novel is a tribute to the spirit and resilience of Irish women - brimful of the usual Irish angst, but thankfully - what could have been a depressing read - is lightened with wry Irish humour. At times the narrative borders on farce and it could be easily translated to a stage play as most of it takes place in a mixed hospital ward. Feeney displays a mastery of revealing character through dialogue and I found her sympathetic portrayal of the patient with dementia particularly skilful and moving. I'm looking forward to future work by this talented writer.

Thanks go to the publisher via NetGalley for the ARC

[Toby Haynes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Set on a hospital ward on the west coast of Ireland, it was a hugely challenging read. The dialect is written in the vernacular, and writing adeptly changes style quite often, very Joycean (whom the writer has been compared to before) And McBride, but don’t let this put you off! The characters are immensely well realised. Very ambitious for a first novel, was not surprised to hear that the author has been writing for some time. Definitely harrowing, and very tough read in parts, very experimental. But stick with it, wonderful write - so original

[Sid Nuncius · Rating 1 out of 5]

I heartily disliked As You Were. I read as much as I could bear and gave up, I’m afraid.

It is the story of Sinead Hynes who is A Woman With A Secret who develops cancer. On the ward to which she is admitted her past and those of other patients gradually emerge...and I found it next to unreadable. My chief (but not my only) problem was the style; Elaine Feeney is a poet and the book is written in a sort of half-prose-half-poetry style which didn’t work at all for me. It is the sort of writing whose purpose seems largely to draw attention to itself rather than to conveying meaning or feeling or narrative in a convincing way. Thus, for example, when the narrator went into hospital previously, it wasn’t to have her appendix removed, it was to have “a thickened, viscid appendix plucked off my bowel.” I can just about live with the overblown adjectives, but “plucked off” is just too much for me here, and there is sentence after sentence after sentence of this stuff.

I did wade through quite a lot of the prose to try to get to what was beneath, but Feeney introduces so many issues that the book loses what focus it may have had. (And it’s all wrapped up in prose which is recondite and of an immanent gelatinous viscosity which...etc.) I expected to be deeply involved with Sinead’s experience as I have been very close to two dearly loved women as they died of cancer, but I wasn’t drawn in at all. The book seemed to be saying nothing new, but going over very well-worn ground in an off-puttingly self-conscious way.

I was persuaded to try this by rave reviews from writers whom I admire like Lisa McInerney, but it really wasn’t for me and I can’t recommend it.

(My thanks to Harvill Secker for an ARC via NetGalley.)

[Nigel · Rating 3 out of 5]

In brief - I really wanted to like this but I can't even come up with the stars at present. Parts of this were great however I found the writing style distracted me quite a bit. In the end I've gone for 3 star.

In full
This is about a young woman, Sinead, who is in hospital. The only "people" who she has confided in about her real reason for being there are Google and a magpie! This is her story and is billed as "wildly funny and desperately tragic". She is in a mixed ward with some very "mixed" people.

It did take me a while to get into Sinead's story. Indeed I'm not fully sure I really ever managed it. The narrative bounces around with great energy. Sometimes it is narrative, sometimes it is far more "stream of consciousness". It certainly is a modern style of writing.

I found myself becoming really engaged with parts of her narrative. Often this was the "tragic" parts - some were introspective, others were about events. On the other hand parts simply left me disinterested and I find it hard to work out exactly why. I guess it is probably the style of the writing. I personally found it hard to read given the sudden switches in topic, style etc. I have no doubt that some will love this book. I certainly wanted to when I started it however it didn't work for me.

Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review

[Neil · Rating 3 out of 5]

I count myself very fortunate to have reached almost 60 years of age with only very limited experience of hospitals. I have never stayed a night in hospital myself and I haven’t often had friends or relatives lying in hospital needing visitors. Which is a long-winded way of saying that the setting for this book is relatively strange to me: a shared, mixed sex ward in a hospital in Ireland where a small group of people are thrown together by their illnesses.

I have to say that I went on quite a journey with this book. The first half I found quite a struggle to read and I almost abandoned it at several points. At about the halfway mark there’s a dramatic episode which changes everything, both the focus of the story and the way that story is being told to us as readers. I found the second half of the book far more interesting and absorbing.

The story we read is bouncing several key themes around. Primarily, we follow Sinéad after her admittance to the hospital. She has only told a magpie and Google what is wrong with her, leaving her husband and children in the dark. This deliberate choice to hide something about her body plays out in parallel with other events in the book that take us into the area of Irish abortion laws, which forced many girls to hide things about their own bodies, and the euphemistic “trips to England” that young girls would take. And this in turn links to discussion of Irish political and social history including the mistreatment of women who were treated more as property than as human beings. What is uncovered during the interactions of the ward patients are stories of domestic violence, of hidden pregnancies, of forced marriages, of hidden sexuality.

All of this means that the further you get into the book, the more absorbing and affecting it becomes. Personally, I found the dialogue in the book didn’t work for me, especially in the first half, and this meant that I found myself getting picky about individual words (in the main narrative, not just the speech) that I didn’t like. That’s never a good sign when I am reading. But, after the dramatic midpoint, I found myself far more engaged and I settled in and read the second half of the book in almost a single session. This, of course IS a good sign when I am reading.

My thanks to Random House UK for an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sinead a successful property developer has just been admitted to hospital. She has a huge secret .... she has not told her husband Alex that she has terminal cancer and that it is too late for any treatment!!

On her ward we meet several patients who are all battling with their health. These strangers bond and we discover their individual stories.

A thought provoking and moving read of bravery and survival told in a sensitive and sometimes funny way.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.

[Hayley (Shelflyfe) · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Things linger after you die.'
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Thank you to netgalley and vintagebooks/penguinrandomhouse for approving me to read this ARC of As You Were by Elaine Feeney, due out 20/08/2020.
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This was a very surprising book for me. I hadn't read any of Elaine Feeney's poetry prior to reading this novel, but it is very poetically written - both in description, and at times in the structure.
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I found this book very moving and also very comical in points.
What really stood out for me was the interactions between the patients on the ward, and the insights into their lives, especially the female characters.
I found Jane's story especially sad, particularly because she is essentially on her own at the end of her life.
The companionship the patients give each other (even after some leave the hospital) felt quite realistic to me. After all, in a hospital there aren't really any secrets from those in your immediate vicinity. Sometimes it is easier to share your most intimate moments with people who are near-strangers than people who have known you.
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'We had things in common, and we promised when we were old, we'd search each other for them.'
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The character of Sinead resonated with me in some ways. It is clear that she has suffered some traumas in her life prior to her diagnosis, and it is debatable whether she has even really acknowledged these traumas.
It seems that the few conversations she has with Alex about her father are the first time she has even shared any of this abuse.
Some of her traumas are very specific to women, such as the loss of her daughter. This felt very realistic as women are often left to feel and acknowledge miscarriages on their own - especially the lasting impacts it can have.
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'Sometimes I felt a kind of loneliness with such a force that I needed to lie down, or vomit or take myself into the sea.'
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Overall this was a great depiction of love, and loss, and life in between.
I would highly recommend this book and hope Feeney has plans to write more novels.

[Katelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Already well established within the poetry community, Feeney's long-anticipated debut transforms her poetic talents and knack for storytelling into a heady twist of language so potent it lands us straight into the protagonist's nightmarish reality. So vivid and alive is the language, the reader cannot help but feel as though we are in Sinéad's hospital trolley, bathroom, or home (be it childhood or adult) alongside her.
Raw and real, we follow the bright and independent Sinéad as she struggles through her sickness and the impact it has on her (and those she loves) as she tries to figure out the tangle of life without omitting any of its messy glory. Just as there is no privacy on the ward, there is no privacy for Sinéad from the reader, a disquieting effect that serves to entice the reader further down the rabbit hole.
In this darkly-comic and tragic novel we bear witness to tales of humanity and inhumanity both that create not only a glaringly intelligent social commentary of Ireland, but also of intergenerational womanhood.
A must-read, Feeney has truly created something special here- a slice of the human condition, with Magpie acting as a psychopomp. Here's to the next one!

[Ciaran McLarnon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As You Were by Elaine Feeney is a raw, tragic, heart-breaking story set in a hospital ward in Galway, Ireland. The main character Sinead Hynes has declined treatment for her terminal illness but finds herself in a hospital bed hearing more than she would care to about the other patients with whom she shares the ward as they have no real privacy. Whilst looking out for each other as best they can, Sinead wishes more than anything to return home.

The author effortlessly and light-heartedly evokes feelings of sympathy from the reader for each of the characters but at the same time exposes the heart-breaking situations so many women found themselves dealing with, alongside the contradictions of the nation’s religious devotees and the failure of the state to provide an operational health service for patients desperately in need.

[Dani Gill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favourite ever Irish novels. The story of Sinéad and her journey is poignant, acutely observed and very original. There is a refreshing honesty in the narrative, both with language and characters. Feeney paints the ins and outs of a hospital ward with brilliant dark humour, alongside a potent sensitivity. The voice is one of searching, remembering and exploring what it means to live with a terminal illness and be a mother and a wife in contemporary Ireland. As Sinéad unravels her life, past and present, in the company of her hospital peers, the reader looks into the mirror of understanding and self-love, learning alongside her what the measure of her days has been.
A wickedly funny book that packs a punch.

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up to 4

Sinead Hynes is tough, driven, funny young property developer with a terrifying secret. No one knows it: not her fellow patients in a failing hospital, and certainly not her family. She has only confided in Google and and a shiny magpie.

Sinead is a young wife and mother that's in hospital with a tumour. We learn of her story and the eclectic mix of patients from Sineads perspective. The story tells of the struggles a woman faces with her cancer diagnosis. The emotionally difficult topics were sensitively written. This is a well written debut novel. This can be hard and a bit em6book to read.

I would like to thank NetGalley, Random House UK, Transworld Publishers and the author Elaine Feeney for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I forgot to add this book and review it when I read it earlier this month. It is unusual, but also at times, close to genius. At its core, it is the story of women in Ireland in the last 8 or more decades. If you are someone full of romantic notions of Irish life, this will be an eye opener. The 5 or so characters are all terminally ill and in the same hospital ward. There families come in and out which expands the story. This is pre-Covid, when visitors were allowed. Feeney is a poet, and this is her first novel. As a reader of a lot of poetry, I would say that writing poetry has formed her way of looking at the world, and everything in it. While not a book for everyone, it is a book for adventurous readers.

[Emma.catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟

From the very beginning there was an almost strange and incredibly unique style of writing. It is one of those love/hate things; thankfully, I loved it. I like a break from endless prose sometimes. It feels new and refreshing, even though the book was published in the year 2000.

I picked up this book after reading her latest book ‘How to build a boat’ - which I LOVED!! Unfortunately I didn’t love this one quite as much but it was certainly a very raw and unpredictable ride for all the senses.

The book is predominantly set in an Irish hospital ward (I’m all for supporting Irish authors ☘️) where, Sinead Haynes is confined to with the other patients and google as her friends…oh and a magpie.

There were parts I wasn’t sure about. I felt very disconnected from all the characters throughout which I think made a huge impact on my overall experience.

To be quite honest I think I missed the point of the story but I believe it is essentially about a woman fighting for her rights in hospital. Dying of terminal cancer and just wanting to be allowed home to die when her time comes. She wants to be surrounded by her family not these strangers that have become friends on the ward. Most of all she wants CHOICE; which in this day and age you’d think was the norm but sadly, and I have experienced this many many times myself, it is not the case. That is what I took for this strangely engaging yet slightly confusing ride.

Feeney truly has a very unique talent with words and for that I think she should be commended 👏

[Shkolnikjx · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful yet heartbreaking novel that I am sure will resonate with many readers. Highly recommended.

[Resh (The Book Satchel) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very conflicted about the book. I think this book wasn't for me. While I loved the way Elaine Feeney writes. Her sentences are thoughtful; but I just couldn't enjoy the larger picture—the plot, the other characters, the changes in women's lives in Ireland. Parts of the book were funny, some tender. Our protagonist Sinead is in a hospital and she has confided her illness to google and a magpie only. We meet many women characters in the ward and get acquainted with their stories. Perhaps, too much was happening or perhaps this book just isn't for me. I would love explore if Feeney writes short stories; I think she has a gift of wonderful writing.

Much thanks to Harvill Secker for an e- copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

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[Aoibheann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book, so imaginatively written and still manages to hold on to a cohesive story line that you must compulsively follow. From her bed in the ward of a Galway hospital, the narrator tells the story of her life leading up to this point and we also learn about the other unique characters as she encounters them. Vivid and heartbreaking. I guarantee you have never read anything like this before. You can tell the author is a poet by the aesthetics of each and every sentence. This book is bound to win awards! As a writer, I am in awe.

[Sinéad Murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant and powerful; lingers long after the last page.

[Stay Fetters · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The lie told with good intent's better than a bad truth."

Lately, I've been loving literary fiction books and especially if the author was born and/or raised in Ireland. I think we can all thank Sally Rooney for that. But this one stuck out to me because of the phenomenal cover. It's creepy and really unique. We don't like to admit this but a cover can make or break a book and this one started off in the right direction.

Here we meet Sinéad; a wife, a mother, and a patient at the hospital. She's sharing a room with a wild cast of characters and there is never a dull moment in their lives. We come to find out about why Sinéad is in the hospital and all about her life. As we start to piece things together, we finally find out the truth. Not only about Sinéad but also about her roommates.

This wasn't a book that I instantly fell in love with. Elaine writes with such beauty and elegance, that the style/slang took a bit to get used to. It was wholly unique and one that I throughly enjoyed after I got into the rhythm. Before I got used to the writing, I had to read and reread paragraphs because I was sure that I missed something. Which was true and I'm glad I did that because I fully got to grasp everything this book had to offer. Trust me, it's a lot.

As I was reading, this book brought out a lot of different emotions in me. While it shared heartbreaking and deeply moving moments between a wife and her husband as she battles her illness, it's also very funny and dark.

While I enjoyed this book, I found some of the main characters insufferable. Let me explain, that opinion was before I understood their predicaments and understood their stories. They came off as harsh and I didn't like that until I knew the full story. After that, they were all likable and everything made much more sense.

As You Were was a fantastic debut by a wonderful author. This blew me away with its wit, charm, and open-heartedness. The way the story was laid out was different and very enjoyable. I don't think I laughed during such a heartbreaking book before and this author accomplished that. This was a great read and I'm excited to see what Elaine writes next. I know it's going to be masterful!

[Mandy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This debut novel has garnered much praise – wildly funny, desperately tragic, amazing, tour de force, thrilling and so on – but I found it none of these things. Original and inventive, perhaps, but essentially I found the basic premise unlikely and baffling. The book opens with Sinead Hynes in hospital with terminal cancer. For some inexplicable reason she hasn't told anyone she is so ill, not even her apparently devoted husband. Why not? It doesn’t seem at all likely that a young mother with three children would deliberately deny her illness and all chance of treatment. Surely the days when cancer was considered something almost shameful and not to be talked about are long gone. So there she is in hospital with a motley collection of fellow patients, and the novel proceeds to wander along chronicling life on this ward and the thoughts in Sinead’s head. Now I recently had a hospital stay myself and if my ward had been filled with such entertaining and eccentric characters my stay would have been much enlivened. But what are the chances of each and every fellow patient being so extreme and with such back stories to tell? One of them suffers from dementia, and unfortunately she seems to be there to provide some comic relief, which I felt inappropriate. Be that as it may, there is real tragedy and pain amongst these people but it is hidden by overwritten passages, often florid language, an attempt at black humour, some farcical elements and a general unfocussed and rambling approach. It doesn’t help that Sinead herself is so unlikable and unrelatable. Not only has she been an unfaithful wife and neglectful mother, putting her career as a property developer over family life, but she treats her husband appallingly for no apparent good reason. Why should we care what happens to her? The book could have been a serious and thoughtful exploration of, and meditation on, illness, health, self-determination and health care in general but the author’s style seems to undercut this at every turn. I did stick with it to the end but felt alienated and unengaged throughout. Not for me, this one.

[SueLucie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I should have said that his absence created a draught and that’s the most any of us can hope for.

I had expected this novel to deal with emotionally difficult subjects but I hadn’t expected it to leave me quite so depressed. Sinead is in hospital, interacting with the other patients in the ward, bearing witness to their stories and mulling over her own. I felt that the author tried to shoehorn in rather too many themes, with the effect that nothing very original or profound was said about any of them. One subject that looms large in these stories is pregnancy out of wedlock, the way women were treated in the mid-20th century compared with the options available today, all too familiar territory. An underwhelming read, written in what came across as a consciously ‘modern’ style, and not one I’d much recommend.

With thanks to Random House, Harvill Secker via NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book.

[Sarah Talbot · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book sucked me in and didn't let me go until the end. Elaine tells the story of illness, of lost women, of choices, of love and women in general so well. I re-read parts of this book, especially the lucid eposides that Jane would have which were so heartbreaking. Well worth a read.

[Fay Flude · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will be very honest, when I started this book I did not think I would be able to continue with it. It seemed very weird. I guess though that has more to do with me as a reader than the skills of the author. As a child I loved reading but I was probably a lazy one, stuck in my comfort zone reading Enid Blyton after Enid Blyton.
Once I had acclimatised to the very distinct writing style, I grew to enjoy this very different story.
Elaine is a poet and the first part of the book , for me, is more like poetry, the sentence structure, the layout and the brevity of words conveying oh so much more. I again have to admit to not being a huge fan of poetry. I don't think I am clever or cultured enough to understand or appreciate the beauty in the succinct lines. I am a prose-in-blocks, typical paragraphs and long sentences kind of reader but there must have been something, enough intrigue and interest and desire to expand my mind, to keep going and I am so glad I did! (And I did finish it in just two sittings!)
This book will not appeal to the masses, as it is unusual and quite strange!
It is a fascinating way of telling a story about patients on a hospital ward in Ireland. Very Irish dialogue from stroke victim Margaret Rose Sherlock and very raw outpourings from our narrator Sinead Hynes, who is dying but has hidden her cancer from her husband Greg and three boys. She has also refused treatment. This is not the only tragedy to befall Sinead and alongside her is paraplegic Shane. The other patients on the mixed ward are Jane, who is an older lady and quite, quite mad and then councillor Patrick Heggarty or 'Hegs' whose daughter Claire is constantly by his bedside.
There is beauty in the brutality of life and death and I was hooked, engrossed in the stories of these bedridden characters, where there is no privacy on the wards and where we can easily overhear all their thoughts and wishes. Molly Zane is the Australian nurse often on duty and Michal is the Polish 'dinner bringer'. A motley collection of individuals with compelling dialogue which readily distinguishes between one character and another. You do have to be quite adept at jumping in your mind as the narration travels back and forth between different times and in and out of lucidity.
If you are looking for an interesting read that broadens your reading horizons then I think this debut novel might just be for you!

[Kyra Leseberg (Roots & Reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Young property developer Sinead Hynes is juggling work and a busy home life with three sons and a husband when she is blind-sided by a terminal cancer diagnosis. Rather than admit it to anyone out loud, she keeps this devastating secret from her family and settles in to life in the hospital ward with a quirky group of long-term patients that include a traveller family matriarch, a councilman, a paralyzed young man, and a retired school teacher with dementia. As You Were deals with the failure of the Irish healthcare system, a woman coming to terms with her life that will be cut short, and the unlikely camaraderie she finds with other patients. Feeney manages to capture the humor and the heartache of each character’s history with keen insight into modern Ireland and most importantly: women’s struggles.
As You Were is an important story of family and end of life decisions but at times I felt too removed from it with long text conversations, one-sided phone calls, and Google search histories that didn’t do much for the emotional impact of the story.
Thanks to Biblioasis for sending me a complimentary copy for review purposes. As You Were was published by Biblioasis on October 4, 2021.
For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com

[Ankit Garg · Rating 2 out of 5]

As You Were by Elaine Feeney is a humorous and tenderly take on dealing with a cancerous tumor and the modern medicine all on one's own, and only relying on the internet for advice. I get the idea behind the book, but not the way it was presented.

The plot was everywhere - spanning several unrelated characters other than the protagonist with life and stories of their own and only connected to the protagonist because they are sharing the same hospital ward. At the same time, it seemed to be going nowhere.

Maybe this book was not for me.

Thanks to the author and the publisher for the ARC.

Verdict: One time read.

[miss.mesmerized mesmerized · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sinéad Hynes is in hospital, her family believes it is nothing serious, maybe the property developer just worked too much. But she knows better and has kept it a secret for quite some time: the cancer is terminal and now it is too late for a treatment. Suffering severely, she shares the ward with Margaret Rose who welcomes all her family daily and thus creates an almost intolerable fuss. There is also Jane who is often confused, but at times, she remembers, e.g. that she had known the mother of another patient who shares the ward. Strangers become intimate, enclosed in such a tight environment and thus, they necessarily take part of the others’ fate and get to know their secrets.

Elaine Feeney’s debut is like a theatre play: a limited place with a limited number of characters who cannot escape the narrowness of the situation they are in and who are forced into an involuntary community where they have to support each other and also, reluctantly, share intimate details of their lives. At times funny, at others very melancholy, and always showing characters exposed to this small world without any protection where also no sensitive politeness is required anymore.

What troubled me most was to which extent I could identify with Sinéad and her situation. Luckily, I have never been close to such extreme circumstances but I can completely understand why she keeps her secret from her family and prefers to consult Google and tell it to a magpie instead of seeking help and compassion from her beloved ones. As readers, we follow her thoughts and only get her point of view of the events in the ward which is limited and biased, of course, but also reveals the discrepancy between what we see and understand what really goes on behind the facade of a person.

The plot also touches a very serious topic in two very different ways: double standards and honesty. Sinéad is not really frank with her husband, they do have some topics they need to talk about and which they obviously have avoided for years. Yet, for her, it is difficult to believe that somebody could just love her unconditionally and whom she can tell anything. On the other hand, the Irish catholic church’s handling with pregnant unmarried women becomes a topic – and institution which calls itself caring and welcoming everybody unconditionally played a major role in the destruction of lives.

Surely, “As You Were” is not the light-hearted summer beach read, but a through-provoking insight in a character’s thinking and struggles which touched me deeply.

[Jon Unter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing,I got cancer 9 years ago and this reminded me a lot of my own experience of an Offaly hospital.in no way was this a bad thing though because I can tell this woman has experience in this. Ten out of ten (however it’s definitely not for some readers)

[Aoife Cassidy McM · Rating 3 out of 5]

After borrowing this from the library and renewing it countless times, I finally picked up and finished As You Were, Elaine Feeney’s darkly comic debut novel. This book was shortlisted for the Rathbones Folio Prize 2021 and won the Kate O’Brien award for 2021.

Sinéad Hynes is a thirty-something year old property developer, wife and mother to three young boys but she’s carrying a dark secret - she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and hasn’t told anyone. Instead, she obsessively Googles death, cures, ailments, prognoses and everyday things, lists of which are dotted throughout the book.

The book is written in a stream of consciousness style, with snappy vignettes and inner voice passages scattered throughout. It’s pretty fragmented, even experimental, but the narrative is held together by the characters Sinéad is in hospital with - both other patients and staff.

I’m not a huge fan of the style but it worked a little better for me than other books I’ve read recently that it reminded me of, namely #NoOneisTalkingAboutThis by Patricia Lockwood and #Assembly by Natasha Brown. As with those books, there’s a greater message underlying the book than just the simple narrative itself. In this instance, it’s shame and buried secrets, the uniquely Irish kind, and the legacy of abuse inflicted on Irish women over the years. If you enjoyed those two, I think you’d love this book.

The reviews for As You Were among my friends on Goodreads for this book vary from 1 star (“hated it, DNF, was bored”) to 5 stars (“adored it”). I’m somewhere in the middle. It worked for me, just. There was enough pithy humour and bitter sorrow for Sinéad to carry me along with her on her dreadful journey. I could have done without Hegs and Margaret Rose though! Loved Michal and Jane. A polarising one. 3/5 ⭐️