The couple: Noah and Lily
Romance genre: Age gap
Part of a series: Yes (Tempting Men - but has not been written yet)
Length: 72 pages
Plot: Lily is a newly-18 year old who works hard to support her freeloading mother, and sometimes she hangs out at an auto body shop to catch a glimpse of Noah, a much older, silver fox of a man. She has a big ol' crush on him, and he feels the same way about her (X 100). Her mom is a problem though. Her mom takes most of her money, mostly so she can engage in her habit of snagging rich guys. Her mom goes too far, though and now owes money to some shady characters that are willing to take it out on Lily. They try to kidnap Lily, but she manages to get away, and runs to the nearest house, which happens to belong to Noah. The story progresses from there.
Character development: Why was Lily hanging out at the mechanic's shop? She would just randomly walk in, stay for a minute, not say or do anything, and then leave. It didn't make any sense. I think that having a place for Noah to work was fine, and I like highlighting the blue collar work that he did, but having a logical reason for Lily to walk into the auto shop, or having them meet in another way, would have made the story just a little more believable. I loved the DD/lg-type interaction between them, so I would have loved this story with a few tweaks. Also - that mom! I hope that's a caricature, but I'm sad to think that there must be that comically villainous of a woman out there.
Grammar/formatting: Lots of grammatical errors, commas especially - need a good editor to catch those mistakes. If those mistakes were cleared up, this would be a good story.
Would I read more from this author/in this series: no - the errors were too distracting and pulled me out of the story; this is unfortunate, because the storyline had a lot of potential