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Getting Stimulus Checked: A Disappointing Demonic Romp
As the pandemic nears its end, Jewel finds herself in need of funds to pay her rent and utilities. Without a reliable job or any decent prospects, she is forced to do the one thing every parent fears. She must turn to necromancy. Armed with nothing but dollar tree candles and an old spell book she found at an antique store, Jewel asks the other realm to send her just two-thousand dollars. Something. Goes. Wrong. Will she survive? Will she pay her bills? Will she find true love with the sentient muscular stimulus check that has appeared in her attic? You'll have to read to find out. Not for children.
13 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 29, 2020
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2 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
June 25, 2024
I respect that the title indicated this would be disappointing, and that it actually was.
Jewel needs money during the pandemic, turns to necromancy, summons a demon, has very bad sex with the demon, he dies before she... finishes, then she produces $600 (in both bills and coins) from her... "body-cavity ATM" (direct quote) to pay her rent that month.
Honestly, kudos for being one of the few smut novels that I've read that did not have a HEA (happily ever after) ending. However, I was not super prepared for the final pages to be a bit body horror... the extraction of pennies was... memorable.
Regardless, some of the brief and blunt writing was goofy entertainment and 'the moral-like thing' reminder at the end to NOT put money in your body holes gave me a good giggle. A weird little snapshot of the year 2020 that was included with my Kindle Unlimited that I found via The Cut's quiz on monster smut. Plus, this was a 20 minute read so why not?
Jewel needs money during the pandemic, turns to necromancy, summons a demon, has very bad sex with the demon, he dies before she... finishes, then she produces $600 (in both bills and coins) from her... "body-cavity ATM" (direct quote) to pay her rent that month.
Honestly, kudos for being one of the few smut novels that I've read that did not have a HEA (happily ever after) ending. However, I was not super prepared for the final pages to be a bit body horror... the extraction of pennies was... memorable.
Regardless, some of the brief and blunt writing was goofy entertainment and 'the moral-like thing' reminder at the end to NOT put money in your body holes gave me a good giggle. A weird little snapshot of the year 2020 that was included with my Kindle Unlimited that I found via The Cut's quiz on monster smut. Plus, this was a 20 minute read so why not?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 6, 2023
TLDR: The author warned us it’s disappointing and the poor FMC really never gets her happy ending
Basically, it’s 2020 and Jewel has had enough of being broke during the pandemic so she decides “hey lemme try necromancy!”
She tries to cast a spell for cash but a sneaky demon distracts her at the last minute so she messes it up. What she ends up summoning is a GIANT envelope filled with a demon.
Anyway, clearly she bangs the demon, but he is absolutely TERRIBLE at sex so she takes over..but before she can *arrive* he finishes, deflates and dies, leaving jewel broke AND unsatisfied.
A little while later she realized there is money coming from her vajay one dollar bill at a time. She accidentally thinks about Pennies and then Pennies start coming out instead.
After all the paper cuts and pain caused by her “body-cavity ATM” (direct quote), she ends up with $600.
Needless to say, she was disappointed with her stimulus as we all were with ours.
Basically, it’s 2020 and Jewel has had enough of being broke during the pandemic so she decides “hey lemme try necromancy!”
She tries to cast a spell for cash but a sneaky demon distracts her at the last minute so she messes it up. What she ends up summoning is a GIANT envelope filled with a demon.
Anyway, clearly she bangs the demon, but he is absolutely TERRIBLE at sex so she takes over..but before she can *arrive* he finishes, deflates and dies, leaving jewel broke AND unsatisfied.
A little while later she realized there is money coming from her vajay one dollar bill at a time. She accidentally thinks about Pennies and then Pennies start coming out instead.
After all the paper cuts and pain caused by her “body-cavity ATM” (direct quote), she ends up with $600.
Needless to say, she was disappointed with her stimulus as we all were with ours.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 7, 2022
Totally wierd and wildly perfect with moral to book
This is a short story of a woman that calls forth demons to secure money during a pandemic. However not everything turns out as expected.
I love the crazy description of what does appear. Its also a reminder of how desperate people can become and a tribute to the things that affected people the most...loss of income and social interaction. If totally wierd is your think and your not offended by crazy kinks then you've found your next quick read....enjoy!
This is a short story of a woman that calls forth demons to secure money during a pandemic. However not everything turns out as expected.
I love the crazy description of what does appear. Its also a reminder of how desperate people can become and a tribute to the things that affected people the most...loss of income and social interaction. If totally wierd is your think and your not offended by crazy kinks then you've found your next quick read....enjoy!
January 1, 2021
Was going to rate two stars because the sex with the demon was really weird (the idea of a human having sex with a demon, I mean) and then the money coming out of her *area* was REALLY weird, but then I decided three because it was a unique idea. Why am I rating it four stars, you may be wondering? Her only getting $600 at the end. That was brilliant to put that little message there. Also, there was a moral to the story, which is always nice. Good job
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 31, 2024
Is this erotica? I don’t think so. But it’s a hilarious unhinged read.
In her time of strife Jewel turns to the age old practice of summoning demons to grant her a boon. She is fucked by a demon and births cash money.
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice: 🌶️
POV: Solo 1st Person Past
In her time of strife Jewel turns to the age old practice of summoning demons to grant her a boon. She is fucked by a demon and births cash money.
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice: 🌶️
POV: Solo 1st Person Past
January 12, 2021
Very short read
Not horrible, very well edited! Disappointing Demon is in the title, and man, oh man, did our author NOT LIE!
Not horrible, very well edited! Disappointing Demon is in the title, and man, oh man, did our author NOT LIE!
February 1, 2021
Funny read
Made me laugh. It's absolutely ridiculous. Poor girl is having a rough time of it all around. Really enjoyed. I will be reading more from this author.
Made me laugh. It's absolutely ridiculous. Poor girl is having a rough time of it all around. Really enjoyed. I will be reading more from this author.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews