It Tolls For Thee: A guide to celebrating and reclaiming the end of life

by Tom Morton

After a close encounter with death, Tom Morton realised he needed a change of pace and perspective. He decided to become the only independent funeral celebrant on the remote Shetland Islands, an unusual new profession that would lead him on an extraordinary journey into the world of the dead.

In a vivid narrative that reveals the fascinating realm of the unspoken – from extraordinary undertakers and death cafés, to pilgrimages and taboos – Tom quickly learns that death and speaking for the dead requires you to think on your feet and often take a magpie approach to faith and philosophy. From Humanism to hymns, Theravada Buddhism to Star Wars theology, he discovers the importance of ritual, humour, and the empowering act of trying to find words for something beyond language itself.

This is an accessible and thought-provoking guide to celebrating mortality. When grief must be an inevitable part of life, Tom shows how we can mourn together in a way that feels appropriate to the life of the one who has passed on and ultimately cultivate a healthy attitude to our own eventual demise.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction

265 pages, Paperback

First published February 9, 2021

About the author

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Reviews

[Rachel Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was definitely a case of right book, right time. A family member recently passed away and I was looking for a way to process that reality; this book helped me to do that. Tom Morton's exploration of death and grief was honest without being insensitive. His frank insight into what happens after we die with a focus on the importance of a definitive point where loved ones get to say goodbye was as moving as it was educational. Morton's own brushes with death forced him to not only face his own mortality but that of his fellow man leading him to set up as an independent funeral celebrant in the Shetlands. The stories he shares of some of the services he has officiated were touching and showed that every funeral is different and can be tailored to suit the needs of those left behind. Morton's book is bang up to date and acknowledges the Covid-19 pandemic we are living through often lending it biblical proportions by referring to it as the plague. He suggests ways to share funerals with loved ones even within Covid restrictions using streaming technology such as Facebook Live. Morton dedicates a few pages to practical links and resources but in my opinion it's nothing more than you would find from a Google search. The real value of this book is its willingness to deal head on with how to prepare for it and how to move on from loss and death, a fate that will in time befall us all.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Celebrants are a diverse bunch. I like the ones who've got a bit of life and death experience behind them, and as a respected broadcaster, journalist and heart-attack survivor Tom ticks both those boxes. His 'virtual parish' in the Shetland Isles is unique, and the stories he's chosen to tell are every bit as characterful as you might expect; Maisie, who loved fast cars and rowdy country music, Rob, the colleague with whom he'd fallen out only months before he died, and Funeral Director Alan, who taught him more about being a funeral celebrant than anyone else. 'I'm not in favour of all that 'This is Your Life stuff, Tom' was one of his lines, although the quote that has lingered with me longest is, "You've never done this job until you've had to pick the pieces of someone off the front of a train." Witty, wise and practically useful - there are lots of links, examples of ceremonies, and much poetry, some of it original - so it's a very enjoyable and thought-provoking read.

[Jule · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book about death, funerals, grieving, and practical considerations more than met my expectations. The authors sensitivity blended with reality and droplets of humor, towards the entire subject of death was excellent.

Rather than being morbid, the book was quite the opposite. Facing all that goes along with the loss of life, both our and those we care for, dispelled much of the traditional gloom and mystery in allowing, encouraging us to move ahead in healing without guilt - easier said than done.

I listened to the book read by the author in his charming brogue. If it was at all practical My last wishes would be to ship me off to Shetland and have Tom Morton settle me into my new existence, whatever that be.