What do you think?
Rate this book
Conker as Hard as a Diamond
Last conker season Little Alpesh had lost every single game! That's why he's determined this year's going to be different. This year he's going to win, and he won't stop until he's Conker Champion of the Universe.
96 pages, Paperback
First published May 17, 1984
9 people want to read
About the author
Chris Powling
129 books4 followersChris Powling was born in 1943, in south London, where he still lives. He's taught at all levels in the state school system, from infants to postgraduates, and for ten years was headteacher of a London primary school.
Throughout his career, Chris has had a rich and diverse involvement with children's books - as a critic for national journals and newspapers (including THE GUARDIAN, THE OBSERVER, BOOKS FOR KEEPS, CAROUSEL and THE TIMES EDUCATIONAL SUPPLEMENT) and as a broadcaster for the BBC and various independent radio stations. He was the editor of BOOKS FOR KEEPS from 1989 till 1996 when it won the Eleanor Farjeon Award for services to children's literature, is a panel member for a national children's book club and has served on numerous prize committees. Currently, he is adult-books editor for Classic FM where he presents a monthly review on the programme Classic Newsnight.
Throughout his career, Chris has had a rich and diverse involvement with children's books - as a critic for national journals and newspapers (including THE GUARDIAN, THE OBSERVER, BOOKS FOR KEEPS, CAROUSEL and THE TIMES EDUCATIONAL SUPPLEMENT) and as a broadcaster for the BBC and various independent radio stations. He was the editor of BOOKS FOR KEEPS from 1989 till 1996 when it won the Eleanor Farjeon Award for services to children's literature, is a panel member for a national children's book club and has served on numerous prize committees. Currently, he is adult-books editor for Classic FM where he presents a monthly review on the programme Classic Newsnight.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 of 1 review
October 6, 2025
Disappointing. It's weird and silly and not very conkery, really. I can't tell what this is - a parable speaking against victory dances and on-the-pitch celebrations; a joke about 'muricans and their "World Series"; or some sort of elegy for a time when children playing conkers were as sportsmanlike as cricketers.
It starts alright (bit weird): "Little Alpesh" (who also refers to himself as "Little Alpesh" in court, later) is given a conker as hard as a diamond and a warning against becoming "big headed" by a wizardy park keeper. And then Little Alpesh wrecks half the city by accidentally swinging his conker into things. The kindly policeman has to arrest the conker, Little Alpesh has his day in court, wizardy park keeper bails him somehow. A Wonka-esque CONKER CHAMPSIONSHIP OF THE UNIVERSE is declared. Little Alpesh defeats the 'murican and the Russian and starts celebrating, only to discover some alien is also taking part. And because he celebrates prematurely, the magic goes, his conker is smashed. The end.
WTF. Both my partner (who was on bedtime duty for the final chapter) and the tiny audience are still bitching about this ending.
It starts alright (bit weird): "Little Alpesh" (who also refers to himself as "Little Alpesh" in court, later) is given a conker as hard as a diamond and a warning against becoming "big headed" by a wizardy park keeper. And then Little Alpesh wrecks half the city by accidentally swinging his conker into things. The kindly policeman has to arrest the conker, Little Alpesh has his day in court, wizardy park keeper bails him somehow. A Wonka-esque CONKER CHAMPSIONSHIP OF THE UNIVERSE is declared. Little Alpesh defeats the 'murican and the Russian and starts celebrating, only to discover some alien is also taking part. And because he celebrates prematurely, the magic goes, his conker is smashed. The end.
WTF. Both my partner (who was on bedtime duty for the final chapter) and the tiny audience are still bitching about this ending.
Displaying 1 of 1 review