How I Burnt Down My Kitchen, Almost Died on a Boat, and (Finally) Found Love

by Riley E. Smith

Anne Baits is living the life she always dreamed of. She’s in California, she owns a bookstore, she spends most of her time either reading or talking about books. She’s got a kick ass best friend named Kay who gives her all the socialization she really needs. It’s a peaceful existence that she has very little chance of screwing up, and that’s how she likes it.

But lately, Anne Baits has been feeling down. In an attempt to turn her mood around, she dives into her favorite book, that ultimate classic of literature: Pride and Prejudice. It’s never failed to cheer her up before, but today, it’s not doing the trick. And that’s when she realizes… she needs to find her own Mr. Darcy, but she’s been looking in all the wrong places!

Her friend Kay kindly jumps in to help her out, and what follows is a screwball adventure through LA’s hottest nightclubs, a meatloaf disaster, and a fire walk that Anne would never forget — except she can’t remember it at all. But as Anne’s schemes to find love blow up in her face (sometimes literally), and Kay’s there to clean up the mess, she might realize she never needed to go looking at all.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, Audiobook

82 pages

Published August 18, 2020

About the author

Riley E. Smith is an author and comedian who brings warmth and wit to a variety of genres. She loves crafting colorful characters to be your new best friends, and describing whole worlds so distinctly you could fall into them.

Riley was raised in the Arizona desert, where she developed a fondness for pretty things that could kill you if they felt like it. She earned her BA in English Literature from Rice University with a Distinction in Research on the strength of her thesis, an overly long exploration of Bugs Bunny’s performance persona.

She sojourned for a semester’s study at Cambridge University, where she climbed castle towers to discuss poetry and comedy with preeminent scholars in between improvising musicals and getting lost in gardens.

Since college, Riley has worked diligently at whatever took her fancy, including poetry, plays, and novels. She is an award-winning improv comedy player and teacher, and a budding clown, because in order to face our fears, we must become them. She brings her sense of humor to all her projects, even when putting your favorite characters into dire circumstances (she’s sorry about that, but not too sorry).

Riley lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her rarely-mad scientist partner and so many full bookshelves it’s an earthquake hazard. She’s hard at work on another book right now, or at least she should be. She might be playing the Sims.

Riley would love to conduct your next grand adventure, whether you want to solve a murder, fall in love, topple an empire… or have an elegant afternoon tea. Find her books on Amazon, or follow on Patreon for more!

Reviews

[Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars How I Burnt Down My Kitchen, Almost Died on a Boat, and (Finally) Found Love (audiobook) by Riley Smith read by Olivia Jackson.

This was a rather oblivious friend to lover romance. It was fun seeing these two friends together in different situations and then finally realizing that there is more to their relationship.

[Kimmylongtime · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was absolutely adorable. These crazy chicks are besties. And there is a possibility that during all these crazy situations maybe just maybe she will find love.

There might be a accident or two. Our main character is a lover of all things classic/ contemporary romance. She is looking for her one true love and her bestie is on a mission to help her.

This is hilarious, please go read or listen.

Quote that should be in all the history books !

" you know they love you if they will read a full novel for you . " - Anne Baits

[Chrystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick sweet read. Unexpected ending (possibly because I didn't read the synopsis).

[Preye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extra short but bonus points for the sweet relationship between the two female protagonists

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bookish girl, obsessed with Pride and Prejudice.
Trying to find a right man for herself, in the end realizing it's not the man she was supposed to look for.
A very short, cute, and just CUUUUUUTEEEEEE LGBT book. Finished it in a day. I'm gonna recommend it to anyone now.

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super cute and funny.

Very fast read. I don't normally like first person but this pulled it off well.

[Audrey ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cute little romantic short story with a twist I did not expect! I really enjoyed the dynamics between our leading ladies and I loved the author's writing style. I found myself laughing and groaning right along side them. This book had me pretty hooked from the first few pages. However, I feel like the story could've been slightly longer and it wasn't necessarily super exciting or thrilling.

If you're looking for a sweet, fluffy short romance with a hint of humor, this is a great fit!

[Jessy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super short. I usually don’t read books this short and when I do I’m usually pissed off at them because there is no character development. But I love Anne and Kay in this. And I have never been more sad to be straight in my life. Jay should lay on the hot coals for what he did! 3 stars for the read itself because I wish there was more and a bonus star for how it portrayed the best friends.

[Rose Grabowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was very short but sweet. Anne is a bookstore owner who thought she was living her dream. She rereads Pride and Prejudice and realized she is missing out on the love her life. Her bestie Kay agrees to help her in her search. They have some wacky adventures and Anne finds out that sometimes what you want is closer than you think.

[Omy Diaz · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was cute but the protagonist was dumb.

[Holly Dimitrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome characters, cute story.
I really liked this book. :)

[Laura Klowan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Luckily it was very short. Not worth wasting my time on this one.

[elstaffe]

Pull quote/note
"It was weird to me that Mr. and Mrs. Belham had everyone but their kids and grandkids call them Aunt and Uncle Belham. It was very proper sounding and formal. It made everyone sound like bad actors in a depressing play about rich people who are dissatisfied, and someone gets syphilis and someone else gets proto-feminism." (57/82)

[Naimal Azad Kastro · Rating 3 out of 5]

“You Know It’s True Love If They’ll Read a Whole Novel to Impress You”

Short and cute. The ending was a bit rushed but I guess that’s my constant complaint with every short story out there.

[SoFresa12 · Rating 4 out of 5]

🎧 Narration: Single narration and POV. There were some issues with the audio quality and a few sentences were repeated. Otherwise, the narrator did a good job 🎧🎧🎧

📖 The story: This was a cute, funny romance with just enough chaos to be thoroughly enjoyable. The only thing I didn’t like was the main conflict came out of nowhere and felt really cringe, especially with the follow on conversation where Anne, in her drunken state, realizes she’s still bisexual and in love with Kay. I guess there is only so much that can be packed in such a short novella, but I wished there would have been any mentions to Anne’s bisexuality earlier so it wouldn’t be this big reveal. That part felt a little cheap. A good read overall. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Paige · Rating 2 out of 5]

This started so well! Funny and relatable, even if a bit quirky. But (spoiler-free), all of a sudden, it was resolved way too quickly and easily, while also lacking development of a story or characters. I realize it’s a short, but there needed to be more to this to make it enjoyable.

[Lidwien]

Super short so not much build up or plot. However, the main character loves Pride and Prejudice and it was referenced a lot, which I always like.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was OK, then added gay to it

[Mesca Elin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Friends to lovers with a different twist.