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Evac
While on a mission in northern Afghanistan, Benji’s helicopter is shot down. Benji went in with a band of brothers but comes out with a stack of body bags, including one for his partner, Blade. After recovering physically in Germany, Benji is sent home to San Diego. He’s been a soldier so long he doesn’t know how to live as a civilian. The loss of his brothers and his partner weighs heavily on him. Benji’s body might be healed, but he is still a very broken man. Everyday sounds and smells snap him instantly back to the crash, as vividly as if it was happening all over again. Benji left the war, but the war would not leave him. He needs a job but realizes he isn’t qualified for most of the positions available. Unable to find work, Benji turns to drinking, bar fights, risky sex with anonymous men, church, striking out at everything. As he spirals out of control, he even tries volunteering in a BDSM club, wanting physical pain to match his mental pain. With his options and his money running out, Benji is in desperate need of help. The only question is if he will find it in time.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 27, 2015
3 people are currently reading
84 people want to read
About the author
Michael Murphy
25 books126 followersWho am I? One of these days I need to decided what I want to be when I grow up.
I am a middle-aged man, born in the far reaches of upstate New York - parts that give the word "rural" meaning. Now I live in Washington, DC.
When one of those milestone birthdays hit me and scared the crap out of me, I realized there were more years behind me than there were in front of me. My mortality hit me like someone dropping a load of bricks on me.
With that realization, I constructed a bucket list of things I absolutely had to do in the years (hopefully many) that I have left. Writing a book was one of them and was near the top.
My biggest influences when growing up were my two grandmothers. Both were ferociously strong women who were widowed way too young and had to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives and try to put them back together again. And they did! They were incredible women and I adored them both.
These women loved to read and to tell stories, so it just always seemed a natural thing for me to want to do the same. One Christmas when I had a break from work for a few days I had an idea - just a simple single flash of an idea. I sat down at my computer and typed out the one sentence idea. And then I thought for a moment. And then I started typing again - and like magic this story started to pour out of me. I was amazed, in awe, floored by what was happening.
It was like the characters were coming to life and telling their story and I was just tagging along for the ride. I typed as fast as my fingers would fly across the keys (one of the 17 jobs I had while I was going to college was typist, so I'm a pretty fast typist). I couldn't wait to see what happened next. It was the most amazing experience I think I've ever had. Okay, maybe not THE most amazing, but it ranks right up there near the top.
My boyfriend finally came to me a couple of days into this,sat down, looked so serious, and asked, "Are you mad at me?" I assured him that no, I was not mad; I had just been kidnapped by my two characters who refused to let me go. He sort of believed me. When I handed him a printout of the entire book he really believed me, although he wasn't all that thrilled about the book. What can I say, he is a biomedical scientist who primarily reads non-fiction. The fact that I got him to read any fiction was a huge step.
I sent my finished book to Dreamspinner Press. Much to my shock and surprise they accepted it. Out of the hundreds of unsolicited manuscripts that they receive every year they only accept a tiny fraction from new, unknown authors - and I was part of that tiny fraction.
When I got the news I was riding on the subway to work one morning. I screamed and hugged the man sitting next to me - I don't have a clue who he was and I'm sure I scared the crap out of him, even though I tried to explain why I was so happy. When I got to work, a co-worker joined me in doing a happy dance.
Once I started writing the spirit of my departed grandmothers started taking over and story after story started to come out. Dreamspinner and Harmony Ink Press have published a total of eight books so far, with the next one due out in a few weeks. Three additional books are under contract, scheduled to appear in the months ahead.
When I'm not writing, I'm editing and proofing, proofing and editing. When not doing that I work for a small organization in downtown DC located a few hundred yards from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. My work is primarily IT project management which can be thrilling and at other times drive me to distraction.
All in all, I'd rather be writing. If people keep buying my books in the same way they have I might actually be able to consider that as an option. Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!
I am a middle-aged man, born in the far reaches of upstate New York - parts that give the word "rural" meaning. Now I live in Washington, DC.
When one of those milestone birthdays hit me and scared the crap out of me, I realized there were more years behind me than there were in front of me. My mortality hit me like someone dropping a load of bricks on me.
With that realization, I constructed a bucket list of things I absolutely had to do in the years (hopefully many) that I have left. Writing a book was one of them and was near the top.
My biggest influences when growing up were my two grandmothers. Both were ferociously strong women who were widowed way too young and had to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives and try to put them back together again. And they did! They were incredible women and I adored them both.
These women loved to read and to tell stories, so it just always seemed a natural thing for me to want to do the same. One Christmas when I had a break from work for a few days I had an idea - just a simple single flash of an idea. I sat down at my computer and typed out the one sentence idea. And then I thought for a moment. And then I started typing again - and like magic this story started to pour out of me. I was amazed, in awe, floored by what was happening.
It was like the characters were coming to life and telling their story and I was just tagging along for the ride. I typed as fast as my fingers would fly across the keys (one of the 17 jobs I had while I was going to college was typist, so I'm a pretty fast typist). I couldn't wait to see what happened next. It was the most amazing experience I think I've ever had. Okay, maybe not THE most amazing, but it ranks right up there near the top.
My boyfriend finally came to me a couple of days into this,sat down, looked so serious, and asked, "Are you mad at me?" I assured him that no, I was not mad; I had just been kidnapped by my two characters who refused to let me go. He sort of believed me. When I handed him a printout of the entire book he really believed me, although he wasn't all that thrilled about the book. What can I say, he is a biomedical scientist who primarily reads non-fiction. The fact that I got him to read any fiction was a huge step.
I sent my finished book to Dreamspinner Press. Much to my shock and surprise they accepted it. Out of the hundreds of unsolicited manuscripts that they receive every year they only accept a tiny fraction from new, unknown authors - and I was part of that tiny fraction.
When I got the news I was riding on the subway to work one morning. I screamed and hugged the man sitting next to me - I don't have a clue who he was and I'm sure I scared the crap out of him, even though I tried to explain why I was so happy. When I got to work, a co-worker joined me in doing a happy dance.
Once I started writing the spirit of my departed grandmothers started taking over and story after story started to come out. Dreamspinner and Harmony Ink Press have published a total of eight books so far, with the next one due out in a few weeks. Three additional books are under contract, scheduled to appear in the months ahead.
When I'm not writing, I'm editing and proofing, proofing and editing. When not doing that I work for a small organization in downtown DC located a few hundred yards from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. My work is primarily IT project management which can be thrilling and at other times drive me to distraction.
All in all, I'd rather be writing. If people keep buying my books in the same way they have I might actually be able to consider that as an option. Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
July 1, 2015
3.5 Stars
“He was home, but he’d brought the war back with him without intending to.”
Evac by Michael Murphy is the story of Benjamin Walker. A soldier back from Afghanistan suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. A man who lost so much to war. Benjamin’s (Benji) story is one of rebuilding. Trying to live after so much destruction and death. How do you do that though? How does one keep living & breathing after losing his friends and partner in an instant? How do you walk out of a war zone and into a civilian life?
”Maybe the nightmares couldn’t find him if he hid in the dark.”
Moments and memories haunt Benji. Moments on the page that gut punched me more than once. Mr. Murphy excels at capturing the pain and panic of flashbacks and nightmares and depression. I could see and feel Benji’s inability to reconnect with his family and friends. Feel the shivers after a nightmare. Feel the fear and disorientation of a flashback. A flashback’s *snap* back and forth in place and time was explained in simple, easy to see ways, but with huge power.
My only bump in the road here was that the story felt disconnected or in pieces at times. The transitions didn’t feel smooth to me. Points and events felt more like a checklist to rundown rather than a living breathing story. If that makes sense? Benji would try this and then move on to the next thing and then check—off to try something else.
Um...Sidetrack confession time—Sorry. I have to get this out. I have such a weakness for the nickname Benji. I mean weak in the knees, make me melt kind of weakness. No explanation really. It just does something to me. :) Okay. Back on track.
I can’t go without pointing out the mad bantering skills! Mr. Murphy kicks ass at banter. I laughed and grinned! The lines and words move fast and free all while capturing an energy or smile in the room. I loved it!
I definitely recommend Evac, but just know this book is not a romance or BDSM tale. It is a soldier’s journey home. From battle to home, the risks and pain and vulnerability of life and death will hit you full force.
I’ll be on the lookout for more from Michael Murphy for sure.
May 27, 2015
4.5 star review by The Blogger Girls.
This is labeled as BDSM, but really that’s not what it’s about. This story focuses on Benji and his life with PTSD and how he deals or doesn’t deal with it.
Benji returns home after being discharged from the military after he is wounded and is the only man to survive the attack he and his team were involved in. Upon his return, he finds that he has trouble fitting in and things just aren’t the same anymore. Everything he and his partner had planned for their return six months from now, were blown to smithereens in the same attack that took Blaze from him. As a further result of that attack, he suffers debilitating flashbacks, as well as overwhelming guilt at being the last man standing. His first attempts at trying to drown out that pain are not pretty.
Benji resorts to risky unsafe sex with random strangers night after night. When that doesn’t work anymore, he turns to drinking. By chance, he ends up at a BDSM club where he finds a new kind of pain to take away the old. Things get pretty heavy for him at this stage, but it only puts a band aid on the problem. Eventually, he reaches a limit and closes that door.
Unfortunately, he has hit rock bottom and decides to climb a bridge. It takes a good part of the book to get to this part, but it is worth it. It is here that he meets Nick, a young guy who is ready to give up – he came out, parents kicked him out, he lived on the streets, lost his job – because he is gay. Through helping talk Nick down, I think Benji was reminded of a few things himself.
Though Nick is a bit younger (19), he is wise beyond his years, and the two really hit if off. Benji finally finds something else to focus on and has feelings of happiness for the first time in months. However, they take things pretty slowly, enjoying spending time together, getting to know one another, etc. It isn’t until they both get tested (Benji was most concerned due to his prior risky behavior) that they take things any further. When they do, there is quite a noticeable difference in the sex from what we experienced up until now. For one, Benji is actually enjoying himself, and for another, you can feel they actually care about each other.
These guys shared a very special personal experience together that bonds them. Benji’s PTSD does not go away, but he is better able to deal with it, especially with the help of Nick. Through Nick, Benji finally feels worthy, and it was nice to see how they helped each other in different ways.
This is not a typical romance. It deals very strongly with the PTSD issues, in case you haven’t caught on to that so far. I love reading about these stories, no matter how horrible the circumstances, and especially love seeing the guys pull through and conquer the demons thus enabling them to return to a better life. They all deserve so much more than they get when they return home, and they should receive the utmost respect and support we can give them. This story does a great job portraying what it must be like for these guys to re-acclimate to life outside the military, and I look forward to reading more from Mr. Murphy in the future.
May 27, 2015
REVIEWED FOR PRISM BOOK ALLIANCE
4.5 Stars
Michael Murpy is a new author to me and I will start out by saying I loved Evac. The writing style is a little different to what I am used to and I guess the best way to describe it would be that I thought the author told me the story rather than showed me. I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense but it is the best way I can describe it.
This is Benji’s story and it is bleak, often cruel and something that many thousands of men and women go through when they come back from the nightmare that is war. A day in Afghanistan that changed Benji’s life in too many ways to count as he was left the only survivor of his team when everything went wrong. As time stands still and the horror unfolds Benji loses his brothers, his friends, his lover and his sense of self and when he wakes up in a military hospital in Germany the only thing he has left from that day is the guilt of surviving.
Benji is left with crippling PTSD and Michael Murphy pulls no strings when writing the emotions and horror in these scenes. It is terrifying to me the reader so to have to live through it is simply unimaginable. His solace in hospital is quirky psychiatrist David but like everything else in Benji’s life that is also taken away from him and he suddenly finds himself returned to civilian life.
Anger is a very strong emotion in this book. Anger at surviving. Anger at the people living life without a care in the world. Anger at society’s blasé attitude to what going to war means. It builds and builds in Benji until you feel like he is going to combust. Anonymous sex gets rid of it to a certain extent, allowing himself to be used and abused as a form of survivor’s punishment. When that isn’t enough there are BDSM clubs where people are willing to dole out pain, again Benji absorbs this as a punishment he is sure he deserves. His perception of himself and his need to be punished is very telling to just how ill he really is.
His saviour, and I use that word loosely as it is not a quick fix, comes in the form of a man named Nick and they meet in unusual circumstances. Two men adrift in life who may just have a chance at being what the other needs. The story leaves you with a glimmer of hope but also a profound sadness.
4.5 Stars
Michael Murpy is a new author to me and I will start out by saying I loved Evac. The writing style is a little different to what I am used to and I guess the best way to describe it would be that I thought the author told me the story rather than showed me. I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense but it is the best way I can describe it.
This is Benji’s story and it is bleak, often cruel and something that many thousands of men and women go through when they come back from the nightmare that is war. A day in Afghanistan that changed Benji’s life in too many ways to count as he was left the only survivor of his team when everything went wrong. As time stands still and the horror unfolds Benji loses his brothers, his friends, his lover and his sense of self and when he wakes up in a military hospital in Germany the only thing he has left from that day is the guilt of surviving.
Benji is left with crippling PTSD and Michael Murphy pulls no strings when writing the emotions and horror in these scenes. It is terrifying to me the reader so to have to live through it is simply unimaginable. His solace in hospital is quirky psychiatrist David but like everything else in Benji’s life that is also taken away from him and he suddenly finds himself returned to civilian life.
Anger is a very strong emotion in this book. Anger at surviving. Anger at the people living life without a care in the world. Anger at society’s blasé attitude to what going to war means. It builds and builds in Benji until you feel like he is going to combust. Anonymous sex gets rid of it to a certain extent, allowing himself to be used and abused as a form of survivor’s punishment. When that isn’t enough there are BDSM clubs where people are willing to dole out pain, again Benji absorbs this as a punishment he is sure he deserves. His perception of himself and his need to be punished is very telling to just how ill he really is.
His saviour, and I use that word loosely as it is not a quick fix, comes in the form of a man named Nick and they meet in unusual circumstances. Two men adrift in life who may just have a chance at being what the other needs. The story leaves you with a glimmer of hope but also a profound sadness.
March 28, 2016
I loved this.
It had it's issues, yes. But the story made it worth it.
A few of the negatives.
1. "Thrashed" Seemed like every orgasm, ended with "thrashed". It seemed awkward the first time, and every time after. I just pictured some guy having a seizure on top of him.
2. a) You just get a test back saying you have a few STD's. Your first question, is can you bareback?
b) in response to barebacking with STD's...the doctor says SURE go forth an fornicate!
3. A guest comes by unexpectedly, your nude. Perhaps? Maybe? You should put on pants, before offering, and providing a drink, and conversation. That, might help with the embarrassment you feel, and make your strait guest more comfortable.
Positive.
This was a great story...it bounced a round a bit, but it was very enjoyable.
It started in combat, then hospital. Seeing the interactions with Benji and his doctor David was good, and over to soon.
Seeing Benji struggle when he returned home was heartbreaking. It went in stages.
He had sex with MULTIPLE strangers, bareback, just to feel something. I wanted to cry for him.
He found BDSM, it helped him feel something. But it wasn't a good fit for him...also, it wasn't done in a very safe manner.
He found religion...which was good, for a short period, before it went to shit.
And then he got even MORE self destructive, and finally hit bottom.
The turn around trip uphill, was done a little to quickly. A sprint, rather than a jog. But it was entertaining.
This story wasn't perfect, but it had enlisted a lot of emotions.
So, you just have to roll with the ridiculous parts, because the good parts, are worth reading.
It had it's issues, yes. But the story made it worth it.
A few of the negatives.
1. "Thrashed" Seemed like every orgasm, ended with "thrashed". It seemed awkward the first time, and every time after. I just pictured some guy having a seizure on top of him.
2. a) You just get a test back saying you have a few STD's. Your first question, is can you bareback?
b) in response to barebacking with STD's...the doctor says SURE go forth an fornicate!
3. A guest comes by unexpectedly, your nude. Perhaps? Maybe? You should put on pants, before offering, and providing a drink, and conversation. That, might help with the embarrassment you feel, and make your strait guest more comfortable.
Positive.
This was a great story...it bounced a round a bit, but it was very enjoyable.
It started in combat, then hospital. Seeing the interactions with Benji and his doctor David was good, and over to soon.
Seeing Benji struggle when he returned home was heartbreaking. It went in stages.
He had sex with MULTIPLE strangers, bareback, just to feel something. I wanted to cry for him.
He found BDSM, it helped him feel something. But it wasn't a good fit for him...also, it wasn't done in a very safe manner.
He found religion...which was good, for a short period, before it went to shit.
And then he got even MORE self destructive, and finally hit bottom.
The turn around trip uphill, was done a little to quickly. A sprint, rather than a jog. But it was entertaining.
This story wasn't perfect, but it had enlisted a lot of emotions.
So, you just have to roll with the ridiculous parts, because the good parts, are worth reading.
May 31, 2015
This just wasn't for me. It wasn't the depiction of combat in Afghanistan, the military's treatment of combat veterans, PTSD, or the unrealistic BDSM. I would've forgiven these seemingly under-researched elements of Benji's story if the dialogue was not so fucking stilted and soulless. *sad Leah* :/
June 5, 2015
It was difficult to land on a rating for this book. The main character - Benjamin - was someone that I was drawn to immediately. The time leading up to his release from the hospital was well written and flowed beautifully. After that, the consistency on flow and believability in specific story archs disappointed me. I understood what the author was trying to do so I stuck with the book all the way through.
July 13, 2021
This is not the type of book I usually read but I really enjoyed it.
May 31, 2015
5 Heart Review by Amber
Oh man! Oh man! Oh man!! Holy FRICK….!!! Wow, this was brutal. Absolutely brutal, and painful, and excruciatingly beautiful!!! Be warned this book is pain, upon pain, upon hopelessness, upon pain a good 60-70% of the book. Regardless how painful it was I never wanted to put it down. The writing is remarkable; it captured my attention in the opening and kept me in thrall throughout the entirety of the story. Have I mentioned how painful this story was?? It takes PTSD and shines a big huge spotlight on it and its unbelievable devastation.
Benjamin (Benji) just survived horrors most people can’t imagine. Serving active duty in the Army his unit is sent on an op in a hostile village in Afghanistan. Their helicopter is subsequently shot down and his whole company is shot dead one by one. While Benji was shot during the battle he was the only survivor. He has immense survivor guilt and incredible anger. One of the men in his company was also his boyfriend. A boyfriend whom he made plans with for their lives outside the military. He’s devastated, needless to say. Circumstances arrive that have him released from the hospital way too early and he finds himself medically retired and back in the states. Benji’s life spirals out of control. He feels like he needs to punish himself for surviving so he does unconscionable things with his body. He puts himself at crazy risk and as the reader you just want to yell and scream and make him understand his worth, understand what he’s risking. His pain is palpable almost like a tangible thing and you hurt for him.
There’s promiscuous sex, BDSM mainly involving Benji wanting a Dom any Dom to inflict on him the most pain they can deliver, he drinks, he starts fights but one thing he never lets happen is he never lets himself find pleasure. His has multiple sexual encounters most of which are unprotected and all the while he never lets his partners bring him pleasure. It’s so gut wrenching to sit through but with grief there’s almost a realization that he has to go through this to get to the other side.
At his lowest point he makes a decision that at the time seems incredibly final and during that decision making Benji is at his lowest. His pain coursed through my body. While his sobs wracked his body I felt it in mine. This author made almost every emotion Benji felt incredibly real.
In this desperation, a tiny glimmer of hope shined incredibly bright. Nick is also at the end of his rope. Having made a similar decision as Benji they find themselves at a crossroads. Either go forward in their misery to end their pain or choose something else. Choose hope.
As I mentioned this story is so painful but with stories like these sometimes the pain is necessary to get to the other side and the other side for these two men is extraordinary. They deserve so much more out of life and when they both come to that realization….just WOW!!
The cover is magnificent too…!!
This is a must read book….for everyone!! It’s amazing…I absolutely loved it….LOVED it!! Get it….!!
A copy of this book was provided in exchange for an honest review. Please visit www.lovebytesreviews.com to see this and many more reviews, author interviews, guestposts and giveaways!
Oh man! Oh man! Oh man!! Holy FRICK….!!! Wow, this was brutal. Absolutely brutal, and painful, and excruciatingly beautiful!!! Be warned this book is pain, upon pain, upon hopelessness, upon pain a good 60-70% of the book. Regardless how painful it was I never wanted to put it down. The writing is remarkable; it captured my attention in the opening and kept me in thrall throughout the entirety of the story. Have I mentioned how painful this story was?? It takes PTSD and shines a big huge spotlight on it and its unbelievable devastation.
Benjamin (Benji) just survived horrors most people can’t imagine. Serving active duty in the Army his unit is sent on an op in a hostile village in Afghanistan. Their helicopter is subsequently shot down and his whole company is shot dead one by one. While Benji was shot during the battle he was the only survivor. He has immense survivor guilt and incredible anger. One of the men in his company was also his boyfriend. A boyfriend whom he made plans with for their lives outside the military. He’s devastated, needless to say. Circumstances arrive that have him released from the hospital way too early and he finds himself medically retired and back in the states. Benji’s life spirals out of control. He feels like he needs to punish himself for surviving so he does unconscionable things with his body. He puts himself at crazy risk and as the reader you just want to yell and scream and make him understand his worth, understand what he’s risking. His pain is palpable almost like a tangible thing and you hurt for him.
There’s promiscuous sex, BDSM mainly involving Benji wanting a Dom any Dom to inflict on him the most pain they can deliver, he drinks, he starts fights but one thing he never lets happen is he never lets himself find pleasure. His has multiple sexual encounters most of which are unprotected and all the while he never lets his partners bring him pleasure. It’s so gut wrenching to sit through but with grief there’s almost a realization that he has to go through this to get to the other side.
At his lowest point he makes a decision that at the time seems incredibly final and during that decision making Benji is at his lowest. His pain coursed through my body. While his sobs wracked his body I felt it in mine. This author made almost every emotion Benji felt incredibly real.
In this desperation, a tiny glimmer of hope shined incredibly bright. Nick is also at the end of his rope. Having made a similar decision as Benji they find themselves at a crossroads. Either go forward in their misery to end their pain or choose something else. Choose hope.
As I mentioned this story is so painful but with stories like these sometimes the pain is necessary to get to the other side and the other side for these two men is extraordinary. They deserve so much more out of life and when they both come to that realization….just WOW!!
The cover is magnificent too…!!
This is a must read book….for everyone!! It’s amazing…I absolutely loved it….LOVED it!! Get it….!!
A copy of this book was provided in exchange for an honest review. Please visit www.lovebytesreviews.com to see this and many more reviews, author interviews, guestposts and giveaways!
July 23, 2015
There are multiple issues here.
The organization of the novel doesn't really follow the 3 act structure well. The book follows the protagonist, Benji, through his battle with PTSD for about 75% with no progression in the plot other than worsening symptoms. He sleeps around for a while, he tries BDSM, he yells at people, but outside of his behavior nothing is happening.
The last 25% of the book follows the Benji, who was miraculously cured by meeting a guy. He isn't even really the same character.
Benji is a weird confluence of ultra conservative rigidness and gay. There isn't any insightful reflection on his values, so I am not sure whether this is supposed to be a personality flaw or whether it is a political statement. He was constantly fawned over by various peripheral characters solely for his status as a veteran, but since the author didn't really investigate the character we don't get to see how he feels about this, other than that it allows him to avoid dealing with his issues.
The whole BDSM scene read poorly. It was stilted and not authentic. There was no insight there either other than "he wanted the pain." Zero reflection on his belief that pain tolerance and masculinity go hand in hand. Basically this is the stereotypical "BDSM cures mental illness plot," with a heaping serving of "self-hating gay veterans feel the need to punish themselves." There was absolutely no reflection on whether his desire for pain is masochism (pleasure from pain) or self-injurious tendency.
The romance didn't feel real to me because the character basically underwent a personality transplant. Benji didn't fall in love, he was invaded by alien body snatchers. There was no relationship development at all. They met and were in love.
It reads as much longer than it is due to slow pacing. The PTSD portrayal almost entirely focuses on flashbacks. There was no development before the incident to contrast with. Emotionally I didn't connect with it at all.
The organization of the novel doesn't really follow the 3 act structure well. The book follows the protagonist, Benji, through his battle with PTSD for about 75% with no progression in the plot other than worsening symptoms. He sleeps around for a while, he tries BDSM, he yells at people, but outside of his behavior nothing is happening.
The last 25% of the book follows the Benji, who was miraculously cured by meeting a guy. He isn't even really the same character.
Benji is a weird confluence of ultra conservative rigidness and gay. There isn't any insightful reflection on his values, so I am not sure whether this is supposed to be a personality flaw or whether it is a political statement. He was constantly fawned over by various peripheral characters solely for his status as a veteran, but since the author didn't really investigate the character we don't get to see how he feels about this, other than that it allows him to avoid dealing with his issues.
The whole BDSM scene read poorly. It was stilted and not authentic. There was no insight there either other than "he wanted the pain." Zero reflection on his belief that pain tolerance and masculinity go hand in hand. Basically this is the stereotypical "BDSM cures mental illness plot," with a heaping serving of "self-hating gay veterans feel the need to punish themselves." There was absolutely no reflection on whether his desire for pain is masochism (pleasure from pain) or self-injurious tendency.
The romance didn't feel real to me because the character basically underwent a personality transplant. Benji didn't fall in love, he was invaded by alien body snatchers. There was no relationship development at all. They met and were in love.
It reads as much longer than it is due to slow pacing. The PTSD portrayal almost entirely focuses on flashbacks. There was no development before the incident to contrast with. Emotionally I didn't connect with it at all.
June 10, 2015
A Joyfully Jay review.
3.25 stars
Initially, Evac captured my interest in a big way, but I grew increasingly frustrated as the book progressed. The first quarter of Evac is fast paced and engaging. We are witness to Benjie’s terrible ordeal in Afghanistan and the initial stages of his recovery in Germany. This portion of Evac feels visceral and my heart broke for Benjie and all that he endured. He is always a sympathetic character and, while some of his actions seem out of place, his pain and suffering always feels real. His rage, hopelessness, and desperation read as a natural extension of his experiences in war and his response to them humanizes Benjie in a way that I think will allow most readers to easily connect with him.
It is upon his discharge from the hospital where the plot starts to unravel and the pacing becomes uneven. There are too many unrealistic situations during the middle portion of the novel that distract from Benjie’s actual suffering and fail to provide any forward motion to the narrative. For example, we’re told that Benjie is hospitalized for weeks after the firefight, but at no point is his family contacted. While he isn’t exactly close to them, they aren’t estranged, and this just didn’t ring true. He is discharged due to a mistake, which reads as nothing more than a convenient plot device, and is sent home with the clothes on his back, his military ID, and nothing else. He never undergoes any debriefing about the attack that we’re aware of and isn’t given any sort of readjustment support once he returns to the states. I am not in the military so I can’t say if this is this actually how it happens or not, but it just didn’t read as very realistic.
Read Sue’s review in its entirety here.
3.25 stars
Initially, Evac captured my interest in a big way, but I grew increasingly frustrated as the book progressed. The first quarter of Evac is fast paced and engaging. We are witness to Benjie’s terrible ordeal in Afghanistan and the initial stages of his recovery in Germany. This portion of Evac feels visceral and my heart broke for Benjie and all that he endured. He is always a sympathetic character and, while some of his actions seem out of place, his pain and suffering always feels real. His rage, hopelessness, and desperation read as a natural extension of his experiences in war and his response to them humanizes Benjie in a way that I think will allow most readers to easily connect with him.
It is upon his discharge from the hospital where the plot starts to unravel and the pacing becomes uneven. There are too many unrealistic situations during the middle portion of the novel that distract from Benjie’s actual suffering and fail to provide any forward motion to the narrative. For example, we’re told that Benjie is hospitalized for weeks after the firefight, but at no point is his family contacted. While he isn’t exactly close to them, they aren’t estranged, and this just didn’t ring true. He is discharged due to a mistake, which reads as nothing more than a convenient plot device, and is sent home with the clothes on his back, his military ID, and nothing else. He never undergoes any debriefing about the attack that we’re aware of and isn’t given any sort of readjustment support once he returns to the states. I am not in the military so I can’t say if this is this actually how it happens or not, but it just didn’t read as very realistic.
Read Sue’s review in its entirety here.
May 30, 2015
This is a gritty, unflinching look at the impact of war on those who fight. Benji leaves the army after a horrific incident. Once his body heals, he is left to his own devices and PTSD consumes him.
Through Benji, Michael Murphy explores the transition from military civilian life and honestly evaluates the military’s approach to the men who leave with sound bodies but fragile minds.
I’m not entirely sure why this is advertised as a m/m BDSM story. Benji could be any soldier. His sexuality seems somewhat irrelevant to his experiences for much of the book. BDSM is only introduced as a broken Benji looks for ways to punish himself. It isn’t healthy for him and the scenes he participates in are neither erotic or safe.
This is not an easy book. It is a terrible, uncomfortably real, look at a man who has served his country, lost everything and finds himself unable to cope with civilian life.
Michael Murphy’s writing style took me a while to get used to. I loved the dialogue and banter between Benji and David at the start. It was a challenging task to write a story where most of the action only takes place in the main character’s mind. During some of the longer passages where Benji is isolated and inactive, the prose starts to feel clunky and repetitive.
While this is an important book it is far removed from the typical m/m romance or BDSM erotica it seems to have been marketed as.
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review for Inked Rainbow Reviews.
Through Benji, Michael Murphy explores the transition from military civilian life and honestly evaluates the military’s approach to the men who leave with sound bodies but fragile minds.
I’m not entirely sure why this is advertised as a m/m BDSM story. Benji could be any soldier. His sexuality seems somewhat irrelevant to his experiences for much of the book. BDSM is only introduced as a broken Benji looks for ways to punish himself. It isn’t healthy for him and the scenes he participates in are neither erotic or safe.
This is not an easy book. It is a terrible, uncomfortably real, look at a man who has served his country, lost everything and finds himself unable to cope with civilian life.
Michael Murphy’s writing style took me a while to get used to. I loved the dialogue and banter between Benji and David at the start. It was a challenging task to write a story where most of the action only takes place in the main character’s mind. During some of the longer passages where Benji is isolated and inactive, the prose starts to feel clunky and repetitive.
While this is an important book it is far removed from the typical m/m romance or BDSM erotica it seems to have been marketed as.
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review for Inked Rainbow Reviews.
May 30, 2015
I received this book from Inked Rainbow Reads in exchange for an honest review.
This is a gritty, unflinching look at the impact of war on those who fight. Benji leaves the army after a horrific incident. Once his body heals, he is left to his own devices and PTSD consumes him.
Through Benji, Michael Murphy explores the transition from military civilian life and honestly evaluates the military’s approach to the men who leave with sound bodies but fragile minds.
I’m not entirely sure why this is advertised as a m/m BDSM story. Benji could be any soldier. His sexuality seems somewhat irrelevant to his experiences for much of the book. BDSM is only introduced as a broken Benji looks for ways to punish himself. It isn’t healthy for him and the scenes he participates in are neither erotic or safe.
This is not an easy book. It is a terrible, uncomfortably real, look at a man who has served his country, lost everything and finds himself unable to cope with civilian life.
Michael Murphy’s writing style took me a while to get used to. I loved the dialogue and banter between Benji and David at the start. It was a challenging task to write a story where most of the action only takes place in the main character’s mind. During some of the longer passages where Benji is isolated and inactive, the prose starts to feel clunky and repetitive.
While this is an important book it is far removed from the typical m/m romance or BDSM erotica it seems to have been marketed as.
~Sarah
This is a gritty, unflinching look at the impact of war on those who fight. Benji leaves the army after a horrific incident. Once his body heals, he is left to his own devices and PTSD consumes him.
Through Benji, Michael Murphy explores the transition from military civilian life and honestly evaluates the military’s approach to the men who leave with sound bodies but fragile minds.
I’m not entirely sure why this is advertised as a m/m BDSM story. Benji could be any soldier. His sexuality seems somewhat irrelevant to his experiences for much of the book. BDSM is only introduced as a broken Benji looks for ways to punish himself. It isn’t healthy for him and the scenes he participates in are neither erotic or safe.
This is not an easy book. It is a terrible, uncomfortably real, look at a man who has served his country, lost everything and finds himself unable to cope with civilian life.
Michael Murphy’s writing style took me a while to get used to. I loved the dialogue and banter between Benji and David at the start. It was a challenging task to write a story where most of the action only takes place in the main character’s mind. During some of the longer passages where Benji is isolated and inactive, the prose starts to feel clunky and repetitive.
While this is an important book it is far removed from the typical m/m romance or BDSM erotica it seems to have been marketed as.
~Sarah
February 25, 2016
I didn't enjoy the first 75% of this book at all. It was all about Benji and his mental illness after his time in the war. All this leads up to him meeting Nick, the person who becomes a love interest. The last 25% was kind of cute, but not enough to compensate for the first 75%.
And all this jumping from one nice person to another had me confused. I was ready to invest my feelings in both David and Carl which obviously was a waste of time... :(
And all this jumping from one nice person to another had me confused. I was ready to invest my feelings in both David and Carl which obviously was a waste of time... :(
September 25, 2015
I really enjoyed the book. I was hoping the low point in the story would happen sooner, so there would be more recovery. I loved the plot, the story, the characters, the dialogue. Another great book from the author.
6 stars.
6 stars.
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