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V.I.L.F. #1

Royally Drained

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From jilted princess bride to a revenge plot fit for a king, this charming couple is royally screwed …

As I lived my best royal life, my only job as a princess was to find and marry a handsome prince. Too bad Prince Theo turned out to be more of a toad.

After I began losing my powers, he lost interest in our upcoming wedding. Not only did Theo leave me at the altar, but he also banished me and my merry band of misfits from the Kingdom of Poppycock forever.

Talk about a walk of shame!

From enchanted castle to crumbling cottage, I’m now stuck in Morningwood, struggling to plot my next move.

This strange little town, full of mischief and magic, is the perfect place to hide while I practice my spells and hopefully regain my powers.

What could possibly go wrong?

Other than accidentally summoning a mysterious male vampire who throws me off my quest and gets my blood boiling in all the right places.

And my blood is exactly what Vail and his brotherhood need for their top-secret laboratory.

Who would have thought my charming royal genes could help their dangerous mission?

As long as Vail keeps his fangs to himself, we won’t have a problem.

His hands though?

That’s another story entirely.

My taste for revenge is strong, but his taste for me is stronger.

Could this be my fairy-tale ending? Or am I destined to live a nightmare?


Author’s note:
Royally Drained is a paranormal romcom with a few dark themes. This is book 1 in the VILF series and ends with a cliff-hanger.

Unknown Binding

Published March 23, 2021

33 people are currently reading
110 people want to read

About the author

Fritzi Cox

6 books21 followers
Fritzi Cox is a dark soul with a wicked sense of humor. She regularly bathes in the blood of her enemies while sipping champagne and hash-tagging her vibes. She’s fond of plotting mayhem, writing spell-binding twists, and tickling her readers with an over-the-top sense of humor. Rumor has it, her alter-ego, Kat Addams, is her spirit animal. Or is it the other way around? Either way, expect Fritzi to keep you on your toes!

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5 stars
18 (33%)
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25 (46%)
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9 (16%)
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1 (1%)
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
Profile Image for Rochelle.
1,642 reviews
March 26, 2021
I typically don’t read paranormal romance but this is not your normal paranormal romance and I loved it. Fritzi Cox has created a world that I would love to visit and get lost in. You will be sucked into Princess Penelope and Vail’s story from page one and let me say, you wont; be disappointed. Can’t wait for book 2. I want to see what is next for Penelope and Vail and his brothers.
Profile Image for Jill M (Embrace the Romance).
1,573 reviews123 followers
March 23, 2021
This is not your typical paranormal romance. Its unique and weird with unexpected twists and turns. The only way to explain it is an accident you cant look away from, I couldn't stop turning the pages.

Fritzi wrote a story you will be intrigued from beginning to end. Princesses and vampires, enchanted animals and fairy godmothers will make you laugh and keep you entertained.

I was definitely not expecting the end and am chewing at the bit for book 2.
1,288 reviews4 followers
March 19, 2021
A fun story about Princess Penelope and her quest for revenge after being unceremoniously tossed aside - left at the alter by an ungrateful, and frankly unworthy, prince after she started to lose her magic. What she hadn't expected was to run into a handsome vampire, Vail, and find herself attracted to him rather than afraid of him. There are some wonderfully quirky characters in this story, and yes, it ends with a bit of a cliffhanger, but there is enough to this installment of the series to leave you satisfied but also wanting more... that is if you like the paranormal romance with a twist of reminiscent fairytales. Looking forward to seeing what will come next for Penelope and Vail. Will they get their chance at HEA?
Profile Image for Eclectic Review.
1,691 reviews5 followers
March 25, 2021
Be prepared for a dark fairy tale with a twist! Once upon a time, there was a time-traveling jilted princess who lost her magic. Surrounded by a feisty fairy godmother, a perverted pumpkin, a clever pet fox, a clumsy guardian gargoyle, and classic, but rude Mirror, Mirror, she asks the help of an evil witch and a brotherhood of vampires to get her magic back and get revenge on the Not-So-Charming prince who dumped her. In return, she will donate her royal blood to help their secret cause to cure vampirism.

The understandably frustrated and independent Princess Penelope is fed up living in a crumbling cottage in Morningwood (yes, that's the name LOL) Forest.  Getting revenge on Theo, Prince F*@kwad as she calls him is her main priority. But first, she has to get her magic back. Two problems: 1) She keeps unexpectedly fading in and out of dimensions from her fairy tale home to a human environment, and 2) She is intrusting her life as a lab rat to an extremely uptight and evil witch and bloodthirsty and unusually friendly vampires. Not to mention she is attracted to the charming (formerly a past Prince Charming to be precise) vampire, Vail.

Though vampires have no emotions and no heart, the overly protective and supportive vampire, Vail is intrigued by the beautiful princess. Just a few tastes of her blood have made Penelope much more to Vail. In fact, he's starting to feel things about her that mean good things for him but may bring danger to her. In fact, her magic is changing, but perhaps not for the better.  

Who would have thought a fairy tale princess and a vampire could be happy together? When he tastes her blood, he feels a heartbeat. Romantic, huh? Especially, when he has no heart. But he actually feels something and would do anything for her because she's "quite literally his sunshine".  And he's her knight in shining armor willing to help her in her revenge plot. Quite the compelling dynamic between two opposites who attract.

Told in Princess Penelope's and vampire Vail's points of view, this dark paranormal comedy has a wonderful collection of colorful characters and a unique plot combining fairy tales and a bit of horror giving the reader a new look at good vs evil. I found it brilliant that the vampires worked at a winery giving wine tasting tours and using DNA from spit cups to further their cause of curing vampirism. Also, the number of LOL moments are many including the drunken goat opening a can of whoop-ass and the antics of the depraved Pumpkin. In addition, supporting characters such as the lovely and quirky Gertie the fairy godmother, and Vail's hot and versatile vampire brothers give the story more depth by making it fun and interesting.

So sit back with a cup of magic bean juice (coffee to us humans) and a pet of your choice (Grumpy goats, welcome) and enjoy a fabulous journey into the sexy and surreal land of diverse and unseemly characters, a dubious and eery setting, and an unexpected cliffhanger ending.  I can't wait to read Book 2.

Thank you to Ms. Cox for giving me the opportunity to read this book with no expectation for a positive review.
Profile Image for Stacie.
31 reviews7 followers
March 23, 2021
Welcome to the world of Morningwood. For those who love Kat Addams, you have already met Fritzi and had a glimpse of Morningwood in "Ghosted". If not, don't worry. You'll fall in love with Morningwood soon enough.

In Royally Drained, we meet Princess Penelope, who is so down on her luck she can't even conjure a singing chipmunk! She meets Vail, who becomes her Prince, I mean Vampire Charming. The chemistry between them will make your heart beat quickly, if you have a heart!

I love all of the characters you meet along the way, including the sarcastic Magic Mirror and the pervy Pumpkin. There is lots of humor and the conversations between characters will have you in stitches. And there is definitely some spice and fire *wink, wink*

Warning! There is a cliffhanger ending, but it's worth it!
Profile Image for Ashley.
587 reviews38 followers
March 22, 2021
This was an incredibly fun read! I love a fairy-tale retelling, but this one has such a great comedic twist on Princesses, their powers and the villains that I found myself constantly laughing. Especially at Princess Penelope's pervy pumpkin that's always trying to look up her dress or catch a naughty glimpse of her. Her cast of misfit sidekicks had to be one of my favorite elements of this book because it provided a whole host of supporting characters and great laughs!

While this one includes a lot of comedic elements, it also has well done character development that really had me invested in what was happening to the Princess and her Vampire lover Vain. Highly recommend for fans of romantic comedy as well as fantasy or fairy-tale retelling!
Profile Image for Love-Leigh Book Reviews.
320 reviews4 followers
April 11, 2021
•Royally Perfect!•

This. Book. Is. Royal. Perfection!!!!

When I first saw a promo for Royally Drained, it immediately became a highly anticipated read for me and let me tell you it is EVERYTHING I hoped and so much more!!

There are so many unique factors to this book that made it an instant favorite for me. From the author being woven into the storyline, the hilarious band of “misfits” that surround the malfunctioning princess, Penelope to the OH so hot and charming vampire, Vail. This book will literally keep you entertained, enchanted and laughing from start to finish!

This has officially taken the TOP spot as my FAVORITE book of 2021 and I am beyond excited to see what’s in store for us with Royally Cursed!!
Profile Image for Michelle Heron。・:*˚:✧。.
Author 27 books196 followers
December 22, 2021
You guys, I was literally Royally Drained *wink* before I read Royally Drained but it's uniqueness and unexpected twists and turns was just what I needed - couldn't put this baby down. 

Royally Drained is a fun story about a Princess named Penelope. We follow her story as a quest for revenge after she not only starts to lose her powers but being left at the alter by her unworthy prince. 

If you're looking for a fun read that will keep you entertained and make you laugh - with that added bonus of the paranormal world this is the book for you.
Profile Image for B-Books Review.
621 reviews27 followers
March 23, 2021
“𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙨. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙝 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨. 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝘽𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙚.”
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Let’s talk about “Royally Drained by Fritzi Cox”, first book in the V.I.L.F. series.
💖
A mix of fairytale, paranormal, fantasy and what ever else is out there. I’m so confused... but why do I need to label things? Even more a story! Especially when I don’t know the basically difference between each one! Honestly, to be inside the author’s mind must be amazing and frightening too. There is a Princess with falling powers, but she is not a witch, vampires, werewolves, witch, portal to another realm, gargoyles, asshole mirror, an amazing fairy godmother, a fox and a pervy pumpkin and so much more.

Princess Penelope was banished from her kingdom, Poppycock, by Theo and now she is in Morningwood trying to regain her powers and seeking revenge from him. She doesn’t have much now, just a small cottage, her godmother Gertie and a bunch of crazy enchanted loyal friends that as she says are useless as a mustache on a rat. But now she found Vail, a former Prince Charming and now a vampire, who is trying to find a cure for vampirism with his brothers.

Together they will help each other, while gain each other respect and also a crazy chemistry! Will the Princess be able to make him feel again, even though he has no heart? I love Vail, but I adored Penny and how she wants to be independent and through the whole book she works with feminism and empowerment.

This book ends in a holy mother of cliffhanger. And again I’m so mad with myself, because I didn’t know! I only have myself to blame, seriously. But now I’m invested in the story and the craziness, I want to know what happens next and dear lord please it has to be a way to change what happened in the very very end, pleaseeee! Sigh.
Profile Image for Deeply Love Reading Blog.
511 reviews8 followers
March 24, 2021
A merry band of misfits who bands together making you laugh, saying wtf and get a little teary. A cliffhanger leaving you wanting. Wanting to know who,what,and where. I can not wait for book 2.
“That’s my family in there!”
Blurb:
From jilted princess bride to a revenge plot fit for a king, this charming couple is royally screwed …
As I lived my best royal life, my only job as a princess was to find and marry a handsome prince. Too bad Prince Theo turned out to be more of a toad.
After I began losing my powers, he lost interest in our upcoming wedding. Not only did Theo leave me at the altar, but he also banished me and my merry band of misfits from the Kingdom of Poppycock forever.
Talk about a walk of shame!
From enchanted castle to crumbling cottage, I’m now stuck in Morningwood, struggling to plot my next move.
This strange little town, full of mischief and magic, is the perfect place to hide while I practice my spells and hopefully regain my powers.
What could possibly go wrong?
Other than accidentally summoning a mysterious male vampire who throws me off my quest and gets my blood boiling in all the right places.
And my blood is exactly what Vail and his brotherhood need for their top-secret laboratory.
Who would have thought my charming royal genes could help their dangerous mission?
As long as Vail keeps his fangs to himself, we won’t have a problem.
His hands though?
That’s another story entirely.
My taste for revenge is strong, but his taste for me is stronger.
Could this be my fairy-tale ending? Or am I destined to live a nightmare?
Profile Image for Beyond The Covers Blog.
2,518 reviews91 followers
March 24, 2021
Have you ever had one of those days where you felt your entire world was crumbling before your eyes?  Princess Penelope knows this first hand. Not only did she get stood up at the altar her by her not so charming Prince Theo he also banished her from Kingdom Poppycock and lost most of her powers. Down on her luck she decides to get revenge on Prince  Jerkface.
Vail was once known as a charming prince until he was bitten by a vampire. He and his brothers search for a cure for vampirism. They long to be able to feel with emotions and have a heart. Not fill empty.
Penny and Vail have a chemistry that are both trying to deny. She makes him feel a little pulse of a heartbeat here and there even if he doesn't have a heart.
I fell in love with Penny's band of misfits pervy pumpkin, cruel mouthy magic mirror mirror, honest and hilarious grumpy the wine drinking goat and fox. They will have you in stitches.
Royally Drained is a delightful romcom that will keep you turning the pages with its unexpected turn of events. Ends in a cliffy but so worth the wait.
Can't wait for next installment Royally Cursed!!
Profile Image for Sharon.
2,308 reviews22 followers
March 28, 2021
4.6 stars
This is the first book in the V.I.L.F. series and it is an engaging take on a Cinderellaesque fairy tale with an interesting paranormal twist. Princess Penelope is supposed to marry Prince Theo but she has no interest in him. Making matters worse, he throws her out of her kingdom and she winds up losing her magical powers. Vail is a former prince until a vampire bit him and now he, along with his brothers, are searching for a cure. When Vail comes into contact with Penelope, the chemistry is palpable but they try to pretend it does not exist. Adding to the drama are those that surround the princess that will have you in stitches, just laughing. Overall, this is one amusing and entertaining romantic comedy that will leave you begging for more. You may also want to ensure you have your own bottle of wine handy while enjoying this delightful read. I look forward to the next installment.
1,288 reviews4 followers
April 3, 2021
A fun story about Princess Penelope and her quest for revenge after being unceremoniously tossed aside - left at the alter by an ungrateful, and frankly unworthy, prince after she started to lose her magic. What she hadn't expected was to run into a handsome vampire, Vail, and find herself attracted to him rather than afraid of him. There are some wonderfully quirky characters in this story, and yes, it ends with a bit of a cliffhanger, but there is enough to this installment of the series to leave you satisfied but also wanting more... that is if you like the paranormal romance with a twist of reminiscent fairytales. Looking forward to seeing what will come next for Penelope and Vail. Will they get their chance at HEA?
Profile Image for Katslovesbooks.
1,030 reviews25 followers
March 25, 2021
This was an incredible read, the characters, the unique plot and everything this story had was just simply perfection.

A PNR with a dark comedy twist, I couldn't put this book down. I absolutely loved Princess Penelope and her band of misfits. From her journey of self discovering, to her encounters with sexy vampire Vail and his friends, to her travels to the "real world". There is not one page I didn't love.

The cliffhanger of this book left me with so many emotions, I can't wait to read book two and find out what will happen to Penelope and her journey, so so many questions.
Profile Image for Wendy Livingstone.
20.1k reviews256 followers
March 23, 2021
This is the first in a new series which is a cross between a paranormal romance and a modern day fairy-tale. Penelope is a princess who was left at the alter when she started to lose her magic, and she meets a handsome vampire called Vail. This is a good story which us unique ad intriguing, with unexpected twists, which leads to an entertaining and all-consuming page turner. I look forward to reading more from this talented author and I recommend her work.
Profile Image for Nicole.
1,839 reviews38 followers
March 26, 2021
I loved this first book of the series! A classic fairy tale with quite a paranormal twist, this had me laughing pretty much from start to finish. It's engaging and entertaining and kept me attached to my e-reader; the characters are well-developed, and the secondary characters really helped to round out story.
Profile Image for Nate.
24.2k reviews19 followers
March 26, 2021
This was a fun & entertaining read. And a new author for me. I received a free copy of the book. And am voluntarily leaving my honest opinion.
Profile Image for Melissa.
902 reviews12 followers
July 17, 2021
Fritzi takes you into a world you've never expected, but buckle in for a fun unpredictable ride.
Profile Image for Canadian Girl Reads.
1,096 reviews34 followers
November 4, 2022
                    description

"The sunlight in your blood. Sunflower Princess. You're my sunshine."

Princess Penelope has been run out of her kingdom by her ex, due to her lack of magic. Living in a cottage in the woods of Morningwood has her plotting her revenge. While singing in the woods, she summons a mysterious vampire whom she becomes enchanted by. Vail and his brothers are on a quest of their own and Penelope's blood just may be the key. Vail becomes charmed by Penelope's sunshine and as their attraction grows so does the mystery of Penelope which puts them all in danger.

I was excited that we were returning to Morningwood after Ghosted and was even happier when I realized it would be centred around vampires as they are my favourite of the supernatural. The story has the subtle humour that I've come to love from the author. You could feel the intensity of the connection between Vail and Penelope which made the slow burn worth the wait. Penelope's band of enchanted misfit pets is hilarious. I did find the story slowed down just a little too much in the middle but the mystery kept me invested. The cliffhanger has me anxiously awaiting Royally Cursed.

*advanced copy requested and honestly reviewed on behalf of Canadian Girl Book Blog*

description

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Profile Image for Resting Book Face.
433 reviews1 follower
November 17, 2021
Let me start with saying that this is one of the most interestingly different books I've ever read. It's some kind of quirky hybrid between paranormal romance and romantic comedy. In fact, the author billed it as a paranormal romcom, and maybe that's actually a well-known thing, but this is the first time I've come across such a mix. Still, I love romcom and enjoy paranormal, so no way was I passing this one up. On top of that, this is book 1 in the VILF series, and the series name alone is witty enough to suck me in (heh, suck, get it?). This is a Cinderella-ish story with a princess, prince, and fairy godmother, but that's where the similarities end. How so? Well, the princess is magical, the prince is a vampire, and the supporting cast is a pet fox, spastic gargoyle, perpetually drunk goat, pervy pumpkin, and downright rude Mirror Mirror. Fritzi Cox, the author of the book, is also a player in the story itself; she's a journalist recounting events that happened. I was mesmerized by the intricacies of how that part was weaved in. I loved Penelope, Vail, and their supporting cast of crazies. I enjoyed every second of this book, from the scenes that made me laugh out loud to the ones that made me want to throw my Kindle. Be aware that this one ends with a cliff-hanger! But it's okay. The second book is already out, so you can start gobbling that one up immediately, which is what I'm about to do.

See the full review at www.restingbookface.net
Profile Image for Alicia.
730 reviews12 followers
December 29, 2021
I am a sucker for fairytales and paranormal romance and this book hit a sweet spot between the 2. The author’s writing style was fresh and unique. I love how she herself played a roll in the story. Penelope was funny and smart and Vail was so charming and sweet. The plot unfolded bumpily and left off at such a cliff hanger.
Profile Image for Sue :).
904 reviews15 followers
September 10, 2025
First off, I hate books with cliffhanger endings. I dropped the rating because of that. If you don't mind that then I gave the book 4 stars. It's well written, with a different perspective.
I read it in an evening.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews

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