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To Build a Home
Destiel Fanfic
Twenty-three years of head-over-heels, devastating devotion and love, love, love for the man with bright eyes and dark hair. Fourteen years of friends, best friends, of always together. One moment of rejection.
Nine years of apart. Nine years of heartbreak, nine years of continents away, of not speaking, of no acknowledgement, no interaction, no closure, no peace. No happiness. Nine years of Dean’s life entering motions, going through them, constant, cold and mechanic, like clockwork. Nine years of alone.
God. Nine years. A lot has changed. And yet Dean still loves Cas just the same. Even if his heart hurts all kinds of different.
On the day of Jimmy Novak's funeral, Dean sees Cas for the first time in nine years. He adored Castiel the moment he met him, at only four years old. But after fourteen years of friendship destroyed by one moment of heartbreak, and after nine years of silence, Dean is convinced Cas will want nothing to do with him. And it's killing him.
Words:383088 complete
Twenty-three years of head-over-heels, devastating devotion and love, love, love for the man with bright eyes and dark hair. Fourteen years of friends, best friends, of always together. One moment of rejection.
Nine years of apart. Nine years of heartbreak, nine years of continents away, of not speaking, of no acknowledgement, no interaction, no closure, no peace. No happiness. Nine years of Dean’s life entering motions, going through them, constant, cold and mechanic, like clockwork. Nine years of alone.
God. Nine years. A lot has changed. And yet Dean still loves Cas just the same. Even if his heart hurts all kinds of different.
On the day of Jimmy Novak's funeral, Dean sees Cas for the first time in nine years. He adored Castiel the moment he met him, at only four years old. But after fourteen years of friendship destroyed by one moment of heartbreak, and after nine years of silence, Dean is convinced Cas will want nothing to do with him. And it's killing him.
Words:383088 complete
- GenresFan FictionRomance
1150 pages, ebook
First published October 7, 2020
10 people are currently reading
88 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
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June 28, 2021im sorry normal people, yes, i do read destiel fic in the year of 2021,
April 11, 2021
This is everything. This is so sad, angsty, beautiful, therapeutic, hopeful and full of love and I feel like this has forever changed me. It may sound ridiculous, but after reading this, even the word 'Home' hits different. Dealing with grief, guilt, internalized homophobia, drug abuse, imposter syndrome, mental health, this story illustrates how no matter how broken and effed up your life may be, there's still hope for happiness and peace for you.
It may be an Alternate Universe, but I feel like the author captured the essence of every character so perfectly. It follows Dean and Castiel, who meet as 4-year-olds and instantly become best friends, through the years until something comes in-between them and their friendship suddenly breaks apart after high school. Nine years later, they meet again at the funeral of Castiel's father, Jimmy, and slowly, they try to find each other again, becoming friends again while dealing with grief. Jimmy also was more of Dean's father figure than his own father, and that's why his death hits Dean so intensely.
Maybe it also helps that the characters are so fleshed out over the years. It switches between Dean's and Castiel's POV, so we get insight on both of their thoughts, sometimes a chapter leaves you confused on why the hell they would act like that, until you get to their POV, and it all connects and the realization sets in. While your understanding of the story may progress slowly, it keeps switching between the present and the past, feeding you more and more about the characters and how their relationships worked in the past, and you can't help but wonder, how it's even possible that they could have a fallout. But when you get to the point of the conflict, you know so much about the characters, that the problem may still drive you mad, but at the same time, you understand, sadly, you just *understand* the character's motivation and thought process.
And it breaks you. But oh, the pay-off in the end is like all the broken parts being assembled, glued back together, and you're healed. It feels like you're a different person.
Also, side note, I'm a sucker for quoting song lyrics (I gasped when they name-dropped Sufjan Stevens lol), I'm not gonna lie; but they manage to make it a part of the story so naturally since Dean plays the guitar and writes songs himself, while Castiel writes poetry. All the side characters have their own distinct personalities, each one on point. I'm glad I read this, and I will surely re-read it in the future because this story and the characters are forever in my heart and I keep seeing them in little things every day~
It may be an Alternate Universe, but I feel like the author captured the essence of every character so perfectly. It follows Dean and Castiel, who meet as 4-year-olds and instantly become best friends, through the years until something comes in-between them and their friendship suddenly breaks apart after high school. Nine years later, they meet again at the funeral of Castiel's father, Jimmy, and slowly, they try to find each other again, becoming friends again while dealing with grief. Jimmy also was more of Dean's father figure than his own father, and that's why his death hits Dean so intensely.
Maybe it also helps that the characters are so fleshed out over the years. It switches between Dean's and Castiel's POV, so we get insight on both of their thoughts, sometimes a chapter leaves you confused on why the hell they would act like that, until you get to their POV, and it all connects and the realization sets in. While your understanding of the story may progress slowly, it keeps switching between the present and the past, feeding you more and more about the characters and how their relationships worked in the past, and you can't help but wonder, how it's even possible that they could have a fallout. But when you get to the point of the conflict, you know so much about the characters, that the problem may still drive you mad, but at the same time, you understand, sadly, you just *understand* the character's motivation and thought process.
And it breaks you. But oh, the pay-off in the end is like all the broken parts being assembled, glued back together, and you're healed. It feels like you're a different person.
Also, side note, I'm a sucker for quoting song lyrics (I gasped when they name-dropped Sufjan Stevens lol), I'm not gonna lie; but they manage to make it a part of the story so naturally since Dean plays the guitar and writes songs himself, while Castiel writes poetry. All the side characters have their own distinct personalities, each one on point. I'm glad I read this, and I will surely re-read it in the future because this story and the characters are forever in my heart and I keep seeing them in little things every day~
January 27, 2025
This was a slowwwwww burn..I loved every second of it.
"Loving Dean is easy, it’s a habit, now—insofar as breathing is a habit of Castiel’s."
“Home has always been you, Dean. Or, with you, I should say.”
“You don’t need to make sense with me, Dean,” he states. “You be as complicated and muddled up and messy as you need to be. I’ll do the translation. I’ll do the untangling.” Dean breathes, hot and teary, against the skin of Castiel’s neck. “Come as you are, Dean,” Castiel says, voice unable to raise itself above a breathless whisper. “Come only as you are. I’d never have you any other way.”
“And there’s a future with me?” Dean asks. His heart thumps against his chest and Cas must be able to make out the velocity of his pulse in the hand Cas clasps so tight in his own.
“Past, present, future… You’re the golden thread that’s run alongside me, all these years.”
“You’re my dream, Dean,” he says. “A life with you… That has always been my dream.”
“My love for you never left,” Castiel reassures, eyes the colour of evening sky. “It wasn’t a matter of regrowing. I hid it, even from myself. But it was always there. It’ll never leave. It never could.”
This made me feel everything. I was sad, happy, upset and I really wanted to punch people sometimes but that just made it even better.
"And how could anyone find anyone other than Castiel attractive? How could people fall in love with anyone else? Nobody in the universe holds a candle to Castiel Novak, Cas, Sunshine."
“I still need you,” Dean shakes his head, words void of air he’s so short of breath. “I need you. I always will.”
"Everything has turned into grace.
Dean’s hand is bound around Castiel’s.
Dean’s heart is bound around Castiel.
It’ll never leave."
“I’m proud of you,” Ellen beams, squeezing Dean’s arm. “That can’t have been easy, telling him, after everything.”
“At first,” Dean admits, glancing down. “But then it was the easiest thing in the world. Like falling into place. Like coming home.”
"All he wants is Cas, Cas stood by him, forever, always, never changing. The spine, the heartbeat, the lifeblood of Dean. Love of his life."
“They’re so beautiful…” Cas’s voice is moth-like as the stars. “You really are the most remarkable man, Dean.”
“Because of you…” Dean murmurs. “It’s only because of you.”
“What did you miss?” Castiel asks, gaze dancing.
“Everything,” Dean shakes his head, staring up at his husband. “Everything. All of it. All of you.”
"God. Fifty years. A lot has changed. And yet Dean loves Cas just the same. Even if his heart soars all kinds of different."
They way Dean and Cas loved each other and cared for each other had me squealing and blushing. It was everything. They are everything.
"Loving Dean is easy, it’s a habit, now—insofar as breathing is a habit of Castiel’s."
“Home has always been you, Dean. Or, with you, I should say.”
“You don’t need to make sense with me, Dean,” he states. “You be as complicated and muddled up and messy as you need to be. I’ll do the translation. I’ll do the untangling.” Dean breathes, hot and teary, against the skin of Castiel’s neck. “Come as you are, Dean,” Castiel says, voice unable to raise itself above a breathless whisper. “Come only as you are. I’d never have you any other way.”
“And there’s a future with me?” Dean asks. His heart thumps against his chest and Cas must be able to make out the velocity of his pulse in the hand Cas clasps so tight in his own.
“Past, present, future… You’re the golden thread that’s run alongside me, all these years.”
“You’re my dream, Dean,” he says. “A life with you… That has always been my dream.”
“My love for you never left,” Castiel reassures, eyes the colour of evening sky. “It wasn’t a matter of regrowing. I hid it, even from myself. But it was always there. It’ll never leave. It never could.”
This made me feel everything. I was sad, happy, upset and I really wanted to punch people sometimes but that just made it even better.
"And how could anyone find anyone other than Castiel attractive? How could people fall in love with anyone else? Nobody in the universe holds a candle to Castiel Novak, Cas, Sunshine."
“I still need you,” Dean shakes his head, words void of air he’s so short of breath. “I need you. I always will.”
"Everything has turned into grace.
Dean’s hand is bound around Castiel’s.
Dean’s heart is bound around Castiel.
It’ll never leave."
“I’m proud of you,” Ellen beams, squeezing Dean’s arm. “That can’t have been easy, telling him, after everything.”
“At first,” Dean admits, glancing down. “But then it was the easiest thing in the world. Like falling into place. Like coming home.”
"All he wants is Cas, Cas stood by him, forever, always, never changing. The spine, the heartbeat, the lifeblood of Dean. Love of his life."
“They’re so beautiful…” Cas’s voice is moth-like as the stars. “You really are the most remarkable man, Dean.”
“Because of you…” Dean murmurs. “It’s only because of you.”
“What did you miss?” Castiel asks, gaze dancing.
“Everything,” Dean shakes his head, staring up at his husband. “Everything. All of it. All of you.”
"God. Fifty years. A lot has changed. And yet Dean loves Cas just the same. Even if his heart soars all kinds of different."
They way Dean and Cas loved each other and cared for each other had me squealing and blushing. It was everything. They are everything.
February 20, 2021
This is by far one of the best works I‘ve ever read.
It was veeery heartbreaking at times but „watching“ Dean and Cas grow up and, as the story title says, build their home, was worth every single tear I shed.
To Build A Home has not only served the "neighbors to best friends to „strangers" to lovers"-trope but also dealt with serious topics such as different ways of coping with trauma (of any kind), homophobia, grieving the loss of a beloved person and substance abuse.
I‘ve always wanted to read a good story which focused on the real meaning of "having a home" and this work gave me way more than I could‘ve asked for.
Getting sentimental but yeah, i really recommend 'To Build A Home' to anyone who‘s looking for a good read and is fine with going on an emotional roller coaster.
July 13, 2021
This is one of this fandom’s top works, in my opinion. Not only is it engaging, it’s extremely well-written, like on the level of prize-winning fiction. This author is effing fantastic, and it blows my mind to think that they wrote this work during college while dealing with issues similar to the characters’. I bet they become one of the greats of our generation. Can’t wait until the rest of the world recognizes their worth.
May 5, 2021
Possibly the most beautiful, heartbreaking FF ever written. I was a blob of yearning and pining after.
January 30, 2022
it doesn’t feel right just rating this and moving on with my life. i wish i could type away all the proper words to describe precisely how devastated, thrilled, broken, put back together, angry, marveled, sad and delighted i was while reading this, but nothing really seems to make it justice. everything about this, from the writing, worldbuilding and attention to the timeline, to the brutal reality of grief.. it’s so easy to fall in love with this work of art, so easy to relate to it and to admire it with all you’ve got. the entire development is truly astonishing and the ending is so comforting and healing and it fits the characters so well, which is so, so beautiful. i honestly don’t think i’ve ever cried so much for so many different reasons throughout the same story and man, i’m a Crier, but if i could, i’d definitely wipe out my memory in order to read it and feel everything for the first time all over again. don’t get me wrong, i reread this every chance i get, my brain would probably benefit from a brief restart, y’know?!? seriously, all i’ve thought about for the past 2 years is this fic. in fact, since i finished it, i’d randomly listen to certain songs and BAM! there’s tbah. there’s cas wondering about the only soul who can tell which smiles he’s faking and the heart he knows he’s breaking is his own to leave the warmest bed he’s ever known. there’s dean who knows why cas’ guard is up as they small talk at shiva because the last time cas saw him is still burned in the back of his mind when cas gave him roses and dean left them there to die. i mean— guys, cas gave him all his love and all dean gave him was goodbye!!!!! anyways. where was i? right. traumatized. never happier. completely destroyed. blissed out obsessed with deancas being both childhood best friends and the classic idiots in love we all know and love. wanting desperately to stab my own eyes so i could stop torturing myself with so much angst but never really being able to bc i’ve also never felt more alive. ugh. yes, this is everything. a favorite for sure. i miss it so much. might reread again now that i mentioned it
January 26, 2021
Such a deeply touching story that I read feverishly over 7 days. I’ve never read a better description of love and yearning and trauma then this story. I felt the emotions that Dean and Castiel felt in every part of my being. This story describes feelings that I have felt. Feelings that would be too personal to open up about here in a goodreads review. After I finished this I started sobbing because it was bittersweet when I reached the end. This story that had been laying as a ePub file from ao3 on my reading tablet for months. It was bittersweet to finish it because I was sad it was over. But so very happy that I got to read something this beautiful and so amazing.
April 2, 2021
One of the most breathtaking works of writing I have ever read. Yes, it is by definition a fanfiction, but it is so much more than that. The author makes you forget that these are characters from a mediocre t.v. show because they truly transform them into fully fleshed out people. These characters stumble and fall then get right back up again. All of this is set on the stage of a friends to “enemies” to friends to lovers excellence. Themes of religion, family, drug abuse, grief, and love lend itself to this beautiful story. I earnestly urge everyone to read it, whether you are familiar with the characters or not. It is really that good.
April 2, 2021
Beautiful story. I never knew that such delightful work can be created from within the fandom. I would honestly recommend to anyone, doesn't matter if they have seen supernatural or not.
For the first time in a while, a story moved me to tears.. It really hurt and then healed in the right places. plot was *chefs kiss* Anyway yeah stunning read
For the first time in a while, a story moved me to tears.. It really hurt and then healed in the right places. plot was *chefs kiss* Anyway yeah stunning read
January 26, 2021
Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. I loved every minute.
January 30, 2023
it may feel a little absurd to some, but this beautiful piece of art has destroyed me in ways I didn't know i could, in order to regrow with new knowledge about things I'm kind of experiencing. the whole longing, feeling of not belonging, feeling lost, the grieve you may feel for things you never had. it has a lot of triggers i didn't know would triggered for me, but it did, and i couldn't stop crying since chapter 1.
I've read this in four whole days, nonstop. i almost didn't eat because i couldn't stop reading about this. Feeling all this.
I've loved every second of it. I'll always carry this with me while I'm building my own home.
I've read this in four whole days, nonstop. i almost didn't eat because i couldn't stop reading about this. Feeling all this.
I've loved every second of it. I'll always carry this with me while I'm building my own home.
July 2, 2021
Phenomenal read
January 1, 2023
this fic is genuinely one of the most amazing story’s i’ve ever read. it was incredible, i’m in awe of this book. the writing was absolutely beautiful and pulled at my heartstrings in every way. finishing this book was so bittersweet, i’m definitely going to be rereading it one day! the way this story unfolded was so perfect, the end had me smiling ear to ear one minute and sobbing tears of joy the next. i’m so proud of all the characters and the way they grew and changed and became better versions of themselves. the characters were so real and so fleshed out, i just loved every single thing about this fanfic. i don’t think my words can do this story justice or fully depict how wonderful it was. i adore this story so so much <3
October 9, 2022
This is about grieve and love interwined.
A lot of hurt/ops forgot the comfort haha. But the comfort arrives ever so slowly uhh it's so good. This is so good. Read it.
A lot of hurt/ops forgot the comfort haha. But the comfort arrives ever so slowly uhh it's so good. This is so good. Read it.
July 3, 2023
To Dean.
I still do,
and always will—
with all of my unworthy heart.
I could write a whole essay on this fanfic, my friends edith and ayesha had to go through the hell of me spamming them amount it because i was in tears. To build a home is the story of friendship, heartbreak, trauma and happy endings. Cas and Dean become friends as they’re four the day Cas moves in after the loss of his mother and ever since they’d been closer than ever— holding hands, sitting on the roofs, it was them against the world. But this book is set in both the past and present, perspectives change and we get to see Dean and Cas’ friendship and how it rose but we also see how it breaks. Both boys fell deeply in love with one another ever since they were kids but Dean’s experiences with his father had always taught him that what he felt was wrong so he never acted on it, yet Cas was openly queer and one night he lets Dean know how he feels and kisses him. But things take a turn from there, though Dean was infatuated and nothing but in love with the boy he got angry with Cas and that’s what leads to their splitting for nine years when Cas moves to england. But things change when Cas’ father who always felt like a father to Dean dies and things rise from there, Cas is back and old feelings spark and there so much more i could write but this is by far one of my favourite fics, again in my top 3. This broke me into a thousand pieces and fixed me right back up again.
I still do,
and always will—
with all of my unworthy heart.
I could write a whole essay on this fanfic, my friends edith and ayesha had to go through the hell of me spamming them amount it because i was in tears. To build a home is the story of friendship, heartbreak, trauma and happy endings. Cas and Dean become friends as they’re four the day Cas moves in after the loss of his mother and ever since they’d been closer than ever— holding hands, sitting on the roofs, it was them against the world. But this book is set in both the past and present, perspectives change and we get to see Dean and Cas’ friendship and how it rose but we also see how it breaks. Both boys fell deeply in love with one another ever since they were kids but Dean’s experiences with his father had always taught him that what he felt was wrong so he never acted on it, yet Cas was openly queer and one night he lets Dean know how he feels and kisses him. But things take a turn from there, though Dean was infatuated and nothing but in love with the boy he got angry with Cas and that’s what leads to their splitting for nine years when Cas moves to england. But things change when Cas’ father who always felt like a father to Dean dies and things rise from there, Cas is back and old feelings spark and there so much more i could write but this is by far one of my favourite fics, again in my top 3. This broke me into a thousand pieces and fixed me right back up again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 17, 2025
not hate at all but as a brazilian literature student there are few things that negatively impacted the book in my experience (not much tho) 🥺 at the beginning I could see some pleonasm also repetition of some words without purpose, although I think it must be some poetry baggage so it’s fine! I also found the second point of view a bit unnecessary (still at the beginning) since the description of the scene would be basically the same so i kept wondering why do we readers need another pov showing very little of cas feelings if we would find out after.
but in the end it was a really good story! you improved the writing too 💗 and I really liked the flashbacks that made the plot even more exciting. I can't forget to mention that Dean's character development was also very cute and well constructed, he took some steps back but also improved a lot even with feelings of grief, I don’t know if you’re part of the lgbt community but dean’s struggles was so thoughtful written!
Thank you so much for this sweet story <3
but in the end it was a really good story! you improved the writing too 💗 and I really liked the flashbacks that made the plot even more exciting. I can't forget to mention that Dean's character development was also very cute and well constructed, he took some steps back but also improved a lot even with feelings of grief, I don’t know if you’re part of the lgbt community but dean’s struggles was so thoughtful written!
Thank you so much for this sweet story <3
November 27, 2022
4.25 stars.
my children of heartbreak and grief. The ending was so, so deserved.
“Colt’s a conservative, deep down. Not, like, a terrible guy, wavin’ a Bible around and yellin’ about damnation—and he wears the guise of social liberalism as far as tolerance goes—but he likes the status quo. And ‘tolerance’ doesn’t equal celebration, affirmation, you know? It’s barely even acceptance. It’s like, ‘hey, I see you, and I’ll put up with you, but it’s me that’s suffering by doing that’, you know? It makes it out like someone existing is a difficulty to someone else. So when someone like Colt says ‘I’m a tolerant guy’, what they’re really saying is, ‘I’ll grit my teeth and abide your existence. But don’t expect me to like it."
for a fleeting moment, a thought appeared in my mind that, "it's 2022, and I am reading a fanfic written about a show which ended nearly 2 years ago".
But, I swatted the thought away because whatever, this fic was good.
warm, homely and welcoming, just as the title suggests.
my children of heartbreak and grief. The ending was so, so deserved.
“Colt’s a conservative, deep down. Not, like, a terrible guy, wavin’ a Bible around and yellin’ about damnation—and he wears the guise of social liberalism as far as tolerance goes—but he likes the status quo. And ‘tolerance’ doesn’t equal celebration, affirmation, you know? It’s barely even acceptance. It’s like, ‘hey, I see you, and I’ll put up with you, but it’s me that’s suffering by doing that’, you know? It makes it out like someone existing is a difficulty to someone else. So when someone like Colt says ‘I’m a tolerant guy’, what they’re really saying is, ‘I’ll grit my teeth and abide your existence. But don’t expect me to like it."
for a fleeting moment, a thought appeared in my mind that, "it's 2022, and I am reading a fanfic written about a show which ended nearly 2 years ago".
But, I swatted the thought away because whatever, this fic was good.
warm, homely and welcoming, just as the title suggests.
February 6, 2023
i am a staunch believer in fan fiction often being sooo much better than published fiction
this work is exhibit A. i loved every moment of this (LONG ASS) book . and it is a book — it IS a novel, even if it’s not traditionally published
this work is exhibit A. i loved every moment of this (LONG ASS) book . and it is a book — it IS a novel, even if it’s not traditionally published
June 21, 2024
This is one of my favorite fics of all time. The moment I finish it I want to read it again. I think about it constantly. I have 4 playlists dedicated to it. I want this turned into a taylor swift jukebox musical.
January 1, 2022
This is one of the best fanfic I have ever read. It has everything friendship, romance, angst drama...
So beautiful and perfect
Thank you so much for this wonderful story
So beautiful and perfect
Thank you so much for this wonderful story
Read
October 2, 2022absolutely obsessed with cas in this i want to be him 🫶
January 8, 2023
4,5/5 🌟
January 9, 2023
one of my favourite pieces of literature ever this changed me as a person
February 17, 2023
Ugh. This is too beautiful.
September 21, 2023
I ugly cried my way through most of this book
January 2, 2024
one of my absolute favourites
May 18, 2025
This book gets better with every chapter. The style of writing is beautiful and poetic and I felt inspired and in awe of the amazing sentences this writer creates.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews