Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

by Deb Dana

Discover your body’s neural pathways to calmness, safety, and connection.

An intense conversation, a spat with a partner, or even an obnoxious tweet―these situations aren’t life-or-death, yet we often react as if they are. That’s because our bodies treat most perceived threats the same way. Yet one approach has proven to be incredibly effective in training our nervous system to stop overreacting and start responding to the world with greater safety and Polyvagal Theory.

In Anchored , expert teacher Deb Dana shares a down-to-earth presentation of Polyvagal Theory, then brings the science to life with practical, everyday ways to transform your relationship with your body. Using field-tested techniques, Dana helps you master the skills to become more aware of your nervous system moment to moment―and change the way you respond to the great and small challenges of life.

Here, you’ll

• Polyvagal Theory―get to know the biology and function of your vagus nerve, the highway of the nervous system
• Befriending Your Nervous System―attune to what’s going on in your body by developing your “neuroception”
• Using Your Vagal Brake―discover key techniques to consciously regulate the intensity of your emotions
• Connection and Protection―learn to recognize and influence your internal cues for safety and danger
• Your Social Engagement System―find ways to create nourishing relationships with others and the world around you
• Practices and guidance to gently shape your nervous system for greater resilience, intuition, safety, and wonder

Through guided imagery, meditation, self-inquiry, and more, Anchored offers a practical user’s manual for moving from a place of fear and panic into a grounded space of balance and confidence. “Once we know how our nervous system works, we can work with it,” teaches Deb Dana. “We can learn to access an embodied, biological resource that is always present, available, and there to guide us toward well-being.”

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Self Help, Health, Science, Audiobook

208 pages, Paperback

Published November 9, 2021

About the author

Deb Dana is a clinician and consultant specializing in working with complex trauma and Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She developed the Rhythm of Regulation clinical training series and lectures internationally on ways in which polyvagal theory informs work with trauma survivors.

Reviews

[Paige Trembleau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been waiting for years to read a book like Anchored which provides essential information on the nervous system in an accessible way. I have studied the nervous system over the years, but I found it very complicated and hard to understand without a scientific background. In order to fully appreciate this book, the reader should not simply read it, but must experience it as well. In many of the chapters, the reader is encouraged to engage with the material in a different way through embodied exercises. Taking my time to read this book enabled me to fully appreciate everything it had to offer. This book allowed me to connect the intellectual information with my innate wisdom through my body.

My experience with mindfulness goes back many years and this book helped me better understand why we react in a certain way to different situations, as well as how we can change our response by focusing on what is happening in our nervous system.

It is a must-read book for anyone who is interested in knowing more about the nervous system and its impact on our behavior and thinking. I loved it so much that I ordered a copy and am eagerly awaiting its arrival. Thank you to Netgalley and Sounds True for the opportunity to review such a revolutionary, impactful book!

[Fern A]

No rating for now. This is a book I would like to return to in the future when I’ve more time to read it slowly. I listened to the audiobook but I think it’s probably easier to process in a written format as there is quite a lot of exercises and practices to try along the way.

[Morgan Blackledge · Rating 3 out of 5]

As much as I LOVE Deb Dana (I do)

And as much as I LOVE polyvegal theroy (I really do)

This book left me COLD 🥶 (very cold)

[Charlotte · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unfortunately I finished this book and still felt like I didn’t understand Polyvagal theory or my nervous system much better than I did before I started reading. I think I need an even more simply worded book than this one. I want to learn more so and get a good grasp of how the nervous system works so I think I’ll have to keep looking for a suitable book for my lack of scientific knowledge!

[So · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a fairly ease read but it requires time and thought to process and put into use the information being shared here. I appreciated learning more about the nervous system and the chain reactions involved. I do think a reader who is new to this subject matter should carve out time and pace themselves with this read, there are practices included that in my opinion require time and well, practice, to understand and execute. I would recommend this book if you are interested in learning more about the behaviours and human processes associated with our nervous systems which I think should be a priority for all - especially in these times.

[Cari Zuckerman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana

3.25 stars

I picked up this book after hearing the author on the podcast 10% Happier. I wanted to learn more about polyvagal therapy and see if it could help me with my anxiety. I found the interview and the first few chapters of the book incredibly interesting and they helped me revise some of the ways I have been thinking about, and living with, my anxiety. As a nurse and someone who has studied C-PTSD at a graduate level, I found the most technical parts, which were the first few chapters, the most useful in reframing how I think about my nervous system. As the book went on, I got less out of each chapter. The author offers a lot of visualization and journaling exercises, two things I have trouble with and haven’t found overly useful in the past but as Dana’s experience obviously denotes, these exercises have benefited, and will benefit, many people. Maybe my preference to just glean the juicy bits of information and not take the time to process them through the suggested exercises speaks to my tendency to try to process everything cognitively and not autonomically! I’ll continue to work on that. The book seemed to be a bit repetitive in both the exercises and the general content.

The theory presented gave me a lot to think about and I can see myself using the terminology in my self-talk. I really appreciated the reminders throughout of the importance of learning to listen to our autonomic nervous system in compassionate, non-judgmental ways. It’s our brains that build stories of good or bad that aren’t always true while the autonomic nervous system’s purpose is to keep us safe.

[Leslie Kassing · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good introduction and overview of polyvagal theory. I wasn’t expecting half the book to be exercises, but in the end I came to appreciate the practical application. It’s a book I can refer back to and choose an exercise to practice mindful awareness.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re familiar with The Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges, then this little companion book is for you. Deb Dana gently describes the neuroscience of PVT through a series of accessible practices you can do to regulate your nervous system and come back to a grounded state. This is a short read but full of basic mindfulness-type techniques to help you notice what’s going on in your body and learn to feel safe again.

[Annie Rose]

wanted to learn about listening, but ended up learning a whole lot (!!) more

[Robin Coral · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book and resource! I’d only like to make note if you are listening to it on audio the narration is very calm and peaceful… And might mean you’re only listening in 30 minute increments because a brain actually might want to check out. Also I noticed in the audio there isn’t a clear break between technical information and opportunities for exercises. So at times I found myself listening and getting partway into an exercise before I realized it was a practical exercise. These are just minor grapes and probably not at all relevant if you’re reading the book.

Overall a great variety of ways for people to observe their own nervous system. A very practical tool science-based for any person with a nervous system. :)

[Mallory Mulzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book intensely. I read her book on Polyvagal Therapy earlier this year and this was a great book to read after. As an anxious gal, nervous system regulation is something I find so interesting and relaxing to read about so this definitely won’t be the last I fixate on this topic, lol. Highly recommend this, the practices in here are very manageable and easy to begin in routine!

[Joanna Owens · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did really enjoy this book, though perhaps it is better recognised as a self-help guide rather than an academic or therapeutic text book.

Perhaps a little repetitive at times and heavily reliant on visualisation.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted this to be more helpful than it was. If you are the kind of person that loves doing exercises in books then this will be right up your alley. At first I was trying to do them but there were just so many things she suggested I do and they were so complicated and multi-stepped that I gave up after a while. The way the book was laid out didn't help. Maybe if it was structured more like a workbook it would be less overwhelming? Then I wouldn't have gone into reading it thinking I was reading a regular book. The format as it stands is too dense.

Dana's writing style is somewhat obtuse. I wasn't always following along with her explanation. I'm not a scientist or a psychologist. As a lay person I need more of a "explain it to me like I am five" vibe. I thought there would be more science but it reads more like a workbook for a therapist and patient to follow. I kept thinking if I were meeting weekly with a therapist and doing this book in tandem with a professional, then I would get a lot more out of it.

I also was bummed that she didn't explain to me what I was looking for. I am always in sympathetic nervous system overdrive, fight or flight. It's not my brain causing this. I don't have awful things going on in my life. I'm doing all the 'right' things to be in equilibrium yet still I feel tense and on edge, with a fast heart rate. I was hoping to learn that biologically some bodies are geared towards a nervous sensibility. I read that in James Nestor's book about breathing. Some people are wired to breathe shallowly and have a faster heart. In this book, Dana kept taking about your brain registering fear so then your body reacts. I'm not experiencing that.

She also spent a lot of time talking about the dorsal state which I also don't experience. She wrote like it was a common state and I couldn't relate to that at all.

There were helpful bits scattered throughout. It wasn't a total waste of time reading it, but it wasn't the help I was expecting it to be.

Quotes to refer back to

Polyvagal theory shifts the focus from trauma being caused by exterior traumatic events to the bodily feeling. It doesn't preclude the importance of a traumatic event but acknowledges the great individual differences in outcomes to common traumatic experiences. The neural system can be vulnerable or resilient to threat. Basically, the trauma response is based from within you and less from an external event. To me that makes such sense. Two people can experience the same thing. One person is completely devastated and the other is upset but bounces back. Why is that? This theory is the 'why'.

VENTRAL VAGAL/system of connection/regulating/home
meet the demands of the day
connect
communicate/tune into others
go with the flow
engage with life
reach out for and offer support
explore options

SYMPATHETIC/system of action/activating/searching for home
filled with chaotic energy
mobilized to attack
driven to escape
anxious
angry
protection through action taking

DORSAL VAGAL/system of shutdown/immobilizing/homeless
just go through the motions
drained of energy
disconnected
lose hope
give up
hope to disappear/become invisible
escape into not feeling


While the world seems to be increasingly focused on self-regulation and independence, co-regula-tion is the foundation for safely navigating daily living. In order to co-regulate, I have to feel safe with you, you have to feel safe with me, and we have to find a way to come into connection and regulate with each other. We turn to a friend to listen or look to a family member for help.

The experience of connection encompasses four domains: connection to self, connection to other people/pets, connection to nature/the world around us, and connection to spirit. With connection we feel safely embodied.

The information carried along the vagal pathway travels in two directions, with 80 percent of the information going from the body to the brain and 20 percent from the brain to the body.

The vagal brake circuit leaves the brain-stem and connects with the sinoatrial node of the heart - the heart's pacemaker - and it is through this connection that our heart rhythms are regulated. The vagal brake slows the heart rate to a healthy number of beats per minute (between sixty and eighty). WHAT? Ok, mine is broken. Between 60 and 80 is only when I am asleep.

The goal is not to stay in a state of regulation but rather to know what state we are in, recognize when we're moving out of regulation and being pulled into a survival response, and be able to return to regulation. The ability to flexibly move between states is a sign of wellbeing and resilience. well-being. It's only when we move out of safety and connection into one of the two adaptive survival responses and can't find our way back to a state of regulation that we suffer

A polyvagal-informed understanding of our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors offers a way to be with our experiences instead of being hijacked by them. When we're flooded by our emotions, we lose connection to regulation and lose the ability for reflection. When we learn to listen to our nervous system, we create skills to turn toward our experiences with curiosity and regain the ability to respond rather than simply react.

when we are anchored in ventral regulation, we experience what is unfamiliar as interesting rather than as a cue of danger. Autonomic listening leads to an invitation to be creative in finding shaping practices that are just right for our nervous system.

Prosody is the inflection and rhythm of a voice. Through our tone and the rise and fall of our voice as we speak, we transmit our underlying intention.The nervous system listens to this intonation
before it takes in any information. When we hear a tone that welcomes, we tune in to the conversation. When we hear a tone of warning, we pay attention to cues of danger and miss the meaning of the words. We listen to the sounds of words before we look for the meanings of those words.

Trauma is a chronic disruption of connectedness. Research tells us that experiences of connection and experiences of loneliness predict wellness, illness, and mortality.

Unlike loneliness, solitude is a regulating and nourishing experience of choosing to be alone and feeling a sense of peace in that aloneness. Without enough experiences of co-regulation, we can't find nourishment in solitude. Our unmet longing for connection either activates a desperate search for connection or prompts a collapse into despair and disconnection.

By adding perception to the autonomic process of neuroception, we are no longer simply in the state; we are now able to be with it and observe and reflect on the experience. The brain takes the information that it receives from the body and turns it into a story to make sense of what's happening in the body.

Ask the question,"In this moment, in this place, with this person/these people, is this response (or this intensity of response) needed?" If the answer is no, look for a familiar cue that has reached out from your past and taken hold in the present. Document the specific cues that move you into this state of protection. BUT THERE ISN'T ONE. I found this very unhelpful. What if your body is signaling danger and there literally is none.

Do you ride out the cues of danger in the intense charge of your sympathetic action-taking system, or are you rescued by disappearing into dorsal shutdown?

When your child isn't listening, it's not because he is defiant but because he is unable to regulate.
When we remember to look beyond behaviors to see the state, it's easier to stay anchored in regulation, not respond from our own pattern of protection, and reach out to offer connection.

Learn to recognize how you experience moments as draining or filling. From there you can move on to reducing/resolving the draining experiences and replicating the filling ones.

Changing your breathing can quickly begin to shift the autonomic state. Even the act of simply noticing the breath slows and deepens it a bit. As we begin to breathe just a bit slower or take a slightly deeper breath, instead of finding the way to safety and regulation, we may drop into disconnection and collapse. WHAT? Why?

From a sympathetically mobilized state, stories are about adversaries-anger and anxiety, action and chaos.We don't care about connection. We have a single focus on survival. Uh...not really?

From a dorsal state, stories are about losing hope, being lost,feeling untethered to the world
and to other people.These are stories of not belonging and being a misfit, unseen and alone.

From the ventral state, stories are ones of possibility and choice. Connection, challenges that feel manageable, of feeling safe enough in the world to venture out and explore.

[Shá · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Anchored" by Deb Dana has the overall goal of guiding patients through Polyvagal Theory by using various techniques and practices. It had the potential to help those in need, especially trauma victims, but did not quite reach that goal.

I found it to be written with psychologists as the targeted readers. I could see these theories being useful during sessions but not for someone to use individually with no understanding of the concept, which the latter is what I was expecting.

Luckily, there is also a workbook that was created for patients to use separately. I was hoping this book would be more informative, as the exercises felt rushed and out of place.

The first part of the book did a great job diving into Polyvagal, but as other readers have mentioned, it became redundant in the following chapters. I certainly resonated with the fight, flight, or collapse reaction to hostile situations and I can understand why Dana would be so repetitive but the exercises created to contain that response could have been left out or made more relatable.

It's very scientific and somewhat advanced. If this is your first time reading about Polyvagal then I'd recommend starting with your own research first or a simplified reading about it before jumping into these ideas/tasks.

I am intrigued by Polyvagal and would like to comprehend so much more to interpret my own nervous system, and even that of others, during moments of intensity, shutting down, or dorsal collapse.

This isn't the type of book that you read once and it's over. If you're truly wanting to learn about Polyvagal from Dana then you will have to reread this several times to engage in the framework.

[Polina Kordik · Rating 2 out of 5]

Скучно

[Jessie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great starting point for someone looking to learn more about their nervous system, and how it shapes our everyday experiences - especially our relationships and quality of life! Some of the practices are essential, such as regulation mapping

I whole heartedly agree with the author: this kind of work (active, consistent focus and care for our nervous system and their states, and skill fullness in navigating connection/disconnnection with others) is the key to changing the state of the world atm.

My one critique is that it takes a while to get used to the languaging used, as the author moves through terms dorsal and vagal often. That aside, great read and think it should be necessary learning for all humans.

[Hannah Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ this is a super readable and practical resource for people wanting to learn more about their nervous system, how to attune to their different states, and how to build resilience and develop a self-care plan based on how the nervous system functions. It’s chock-full of practical exercises that I know I’ll appreciate in the future — when reading this I kind of felt like there were too many at times 😅 this is basically a workbook as well as an educational book and I was more-so prepared for the latter, but I’ll definitely be coming back to this again and again.

[Jen Woodrum · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is now going to be one of my most highly recommended books for therapist friends and even some clients.

Deb Dana did a fantastic job of presenting the complex topic of polyvagal theory in a completely understandable way. I learned so much about how the nervous system is impacted by trauma and how we can help our bodies feel safe again.

I've already started applying some of her exercises and ideas into my work and my personal life. Definitely a worthwhile read.

[Terrah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. Read this as a follow up to learn more after listening to the author on a podcast. Probably a little more detail than I’m ready for, but interesting!

“We are on a quest to become active operators of our nervous system.”

I love the concept that it doesn’t have to be flight or fight in times of stress or conflict, but we can practice to become better at using other options. Work in progress for sure.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

The information about regulating your nervous system is so helpful and interesting. I wish I would’ve listened to it on audiobook because it would’ve made the different exercises easier to participate in.

[lizz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was looking for a book to help jump start the resetting of the nervous system and this was the perfect book to kick all of this off. The poly vagal theory is absolutely fascinating. My only regret is reading the ebook. This is a book you need the actual paperback for.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deb Dana’s work is such a gift to us all, I’m so grateful she found this calling. Her writing style is so regulating to read. I’d recommend it to anyone who really wants to learn the personal rhythm of their nervous system and probably already has a basic understanding of polyvagal theory. And it’s definitely for someone who already has an experience of feeling safety in their body and is looking for guidance to expand it, not so much for someone who only knows survival.

[Vanessa Joseph]

I've been listening to the audiobook and it's too hard to understand without seeing the diagrams 😂. It's really interesting though and I will come back to it once I get the book

[Lisa Benoot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wat een goed boek! Dit zouden ze in de lagere en middelbare school dienen te integreren. Het is de basis voor mentaal en fysiek welbevinden. Een life changer and savior 🙏

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great technical read. Pair this with How the Body Keeps the Score to master your mind and body.

[Ryan Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just not my thing

[Naseef Huda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't finish it as others have remarked felt a bit repetitive and I simply wasn't up for the endless exercises and drafting of my own mantras. I think this would probably be best left to the therapist's chair. I did learn a lot about the nervous system in the bits I read.

[Lizette Moguel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Los ejercicios no son muy tda friendly pero en general te marca el camino de regreso a casa y tu regulación

[Megan Rosol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened via Hoopla

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit dense at times, but overall, it is an excellent introduction to polyvagal theory and the nervous system. The exercises are accessible, but can also be deeply nuanced.