Giving The Love That Heals

by Harville Hendrix

Harville Hendrix has illuminated the paths to healthy, loving relationships in his New York Times bestsellers Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. Now, with his coauthor and wife, Helen Hunt, he brings us to a new understanding of the most profound love of all -- by helping parents nurture their own development as they encourage emotional wholeness in their children.

This groundbreaking book offers a unique opportunity for personal by resolving issues that originated in our own childhood, we can achieve a conscious, and thus healthier, relationship with our children, regardless of their age. Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt help us

-The Imago -- the fantasy partner that our unconscious mind constructs from those we loved as a child, a that has guided our search for a life partner
-Maximizer and Minimizer parents -- the defensive styles that internally shape what we say and how interact with our children
-A Parenting Process that helps to end the "cycle of wounding" -- the handing-down of wounding we received as children -- as we raise our own children
-Safety, Support, and Structure -- how to give children what they really need from us
-Modeling Adulthood -- using our healed sense of self as a model for our children.

With other practical, insightful approaches that can powerfully shape the parent-child bond, Giving the Love that Heals gives us the keys to helping our children to become healthy, responsible, and caring people.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Relationships, Self Help, Nonfiction, Love, Audiobook

384 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., is the author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, a New York Times bestseller that has sold more than two million copies. He has more than thirty years’ experience as an educator and therapist. He specializes in working with couples in private practice, teaching marital therapy to therapists, and conducting couples workshops across the country. Dr. Hendrix is the founder/director of the Imago Institute for Relationship Therapy. He lives in New Jersey and New Mexico.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/harvil...

Reviews

[Collette · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I more than hate self help books, and especially parenting books, I was tempted to pick this up, because I liked the guy in his interview on Oprah. I am glad I did. It is a good reminder that most of our "issues" with out children are easily resolved by looking at ourselves. A depressing fact, but true. I have 5 children. I will continue to read this in reference over the years. A very non-judgmental look at parenting, with real solutions on how to be more productive in loving our children.

[Tanja · Rating 4 out of 5]

This took me ages to finish. It's a hard read, not only because of the issues it makes you face and the feelings that surface because of this, it's clumsy writing. I still gave it 4 stars because the content is so much more important than the writing. I could go without the God talk too, but I can live with it.
This book is great for parents, beginners and pro's ;). You can learn from it, no matter how old your children are and you can always use it to work with yourself as a person and a parent.

[Vincze Andrada · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dacă ai mai citit cărți de Harvile Hendrix și Helen LaKelly Hunt modelul teoretic îl cunoști, acolo nu sunt informații noi. Modelul e bun, dar lipsesc dovezile empirice. Unele afirmații sunt exagerări sau generalizări, asemeni cuiva care încearcă să îți vândă ceva. Lipsește o abordare texturată a realității pe care autorii o descriu.
Dacă totuși poți să treci peste ele, cartea are insight-uri bune, exerciții de reflecție bune (again unele repetitive dacă ai mai citit ceva de ei) și cred că folositoare pentru mulți părinți care întâmpină dificultăți în relația cu copiii lor. În plus, traducerea nu este tocmai strălucită.

[Kate Auden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Possibly the most important book I will ever read as a parent. Add this to the other Harville Hendrix books and you have the makings of the healthiest and most mutually rewarding relationships with everyone in your life, including yourself.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unlike any traditional parenting book, this explores how experiences with our own parents and childhood influences how we parent our children. Ever wonder why you are so frustrated and annoyed with something your child does? Why some simple things in your child can trigger you? Feel like you want to parent differently then the way you were, but find yourself following the same path as your parents? This is the book for you. Very interesting. I agree with some of the reviews that this book is poorly organized and could be written clearer and more concise.

[ASA · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most important parenting books that anyone can read. It can be a difficult read in that you will come across things from your past that might be painful - or see the baggage your child may be carrying with them - This is one of my personal top 5 books for parents.

[Shannon O'hara · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful approach to childrearing relationships based on the Imago theory developed by the authors. I think the content is great, but reading it is a bit like slowly choking down a heavy, weird-tasting health food bar because you know it's good for you. I read an older edition, so I don't know if anything's changed, but I agree with the criticisms that it is narrowly focused at "traditional" married two-parent heterosexual couples as parents. The religious overtones can also be off-putting.

That said, the processes for enhancing our understanding of ourselves and our compassion for our children presented in the book are so valuable that it's easy to forgive the dense writing and hints of evangelism. I'd recommend this book to anyone seeking an opportunity for real self-revelation; intentional dialogue offers a clear path to healthy, open-hearted communication, the foundation of loving, responsive parenting.

[Bookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

Problem 1: They love Sigmund Freud for his help understanding the child’s mind.
You know - Freud, the guy who says ALL men and boys want to have sex with their mothers?
Freud the coward who studied and wrote an essay saying: “Women who experienced childhood sexual abuse are more likely to have emotional problems later in life.” Then RECANTED it and DENIED his findings when the rich pedophiles told him to!! And he gave into the fame and fortune he earned by gaslighting women: “You were never sexually abused as a child - you just FANTASIZED and WANTED to be brutally raped by your stepfather, you little underage slut!”
So yeah. The author worships a dude who endorses fucking your children.

Problem 2: is they harp on and on about how important it is to force your children to acknowledge they are “made of star dust” and “part of the cosmos.”
All that woo-woo stupidity.
I was a literal child (and am a literal adult) and if someone tried to force me to believe that Star Dust Cosmos dribble, it would have sent me into a mental breakdown.

Problem 3: this book is long, boring, and poorly written. It needs a good editor - but I fear even a good editor couldn’t save this cosmically pedophilic book.

[Speranta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how the writers put emphasis on stopping to take time for having a conscious dialogue with the people who are close. Offering as much information about the context as possible, and mirroring all the important aspects to ensure that both parties have a full comprehension of a situation. And also offering more possibilities in the restauration phase (I liked the example when you can let the other party come up with three viable ways in which you can show remorse and repair after a mistake and then choosing one of those to act upon).
I feel that following parenting advice in other relationships also helps, especially when dealing with people in distress (and even more so when they regress to a different age period).

[Diana Donosă · Rating 4 out of 5]

Folositoare parintilor care nu au cunostinte de psihologie neaparat. Este scrisa pe intelesul tuturor. Te ajuta sa iti pui intrebarile folositoare pentru a porni pe un drum de vindecate. Ofera solutii si sfaturi cat si exemple din terapie.

Ce nu mi-a placut este ca varianta in romana este tradusa deficitar, cu multe greseli de gramatica.

[Lavanial · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harvey the black cat, is appreciated where I am. This symbolism was appeasing to me in the form of the author, suggesting the simple moral lesson in the classic Snow White, which has been a big part of my life. Employing words such as gay and gaiety in the most favorable light, in the blessing of a marriage.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read for awareness so as not to repeat history in your parenting.

[Leahjoypro · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had a lot of good points to make. I think that some of the overall concepts will stay with me. However like some other reviewers I felt that it was fairly poorly written. It was extremely boring, So much so that by the time I got to the exercises at the end I simply skipped them because I didn't have the energy for them. Also the last chapter before the exercises got a little weird - talking about our children being made of star dust and us all being part of the cosmos, etc, which I felt actually drug down the books credibility a bit.

[Amy Hastey · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I could give this book a 4.5, I would. I'm not giving a 5 because of the importance placed on 2-parent, heterosexual families. Also, while I like the idea behind their "intentional dialogue", the scripting of it seems awkward and weird. But, their overall analysis of how damage in childhood affects our intimate relationships and our parenting seems on point to me and can be a powerful tool for becoming a healthier and whole person and parent. I recommend this to anybody, but especially to parents.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most important books any parent can read, although I think it is especially good for parents who became parents through adoption.

It is not an easy read, you will come across many painful thoughts - some from your own past, some that you know your child carries - but the information is so valuable to have.

I highly recommend this book, and I recommend that you do the worksheets that are included.

[Kady24]

Who doesn't need parenting advice??? I'm finding it ironic that I am reading Gillian Flynn's Dark Places and this book at the same time. Her book is rife with childhood trauma at its most extreme. I'm loving all of Hendrix work...it's difficult to read this one because it brings up a lot about how you are raised as a child and how that affects how you raise your own kids and it's HARD not to wound your kids in the same ways!!!! Conscious parenting...conscious parenting...my new mantra :)

[Dena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great ideas. Poorly written. Very disorganized and repetetive.

[Mary Bundy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not an easy read, but a must for parents who just want to be better!

[Maris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a textbook for a child development class. The class was amazing, but the book could be a little over the top sometimes.

[Cher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely essential!

[Matt Jorgenson]

Wow... just wow.... still reading...

[Stil de scriitor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recenzia completa pe blog:

https://literarybook.wordpress.com/20...

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

helpful book on parenting

[Sveučilišna Knjižnica Rijeka]

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