Love Drugs: The Chemical Future of Relationships

by Brian D. Earp, Julian Savulescu

Is there a pill for love? What about an "anti-love drug," to help us get over an ex? This book argues that certain psychoactive substances, including MDMA-the active ingredient in Ecstasy-may help ordinary couples work through relationship difficulties and strengthen their connection. Others may help sever an emotional connection during a breakup. These substances already exist, and they have transformative implications for how we think about love. This book builds a case for conducting research into "love drugs" and "anti-love drugs" and explores their ethical implications for individuals and society. Scandalously, Western medicine tends to ignore the interpersonal effects of drug-based interventions. Why are we still in the dark about the effects of these drugs on romantic partnerships? And how can we overhaul scientific research norms to take relationships more fully into account? Ethicists Brian D. Earp and Julian Savulescu say that the time to think through such questions is now. Love Drugs arms us with the latest scientific knowledge and a set of ethical tools that we can use to decide if these sorts of medications should be a part of our society. Or whether a chemical romance will be right for us.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Psychology, Love, Science, Relationships, Audiobook

Audio CD

First published January 21, 2020

Reviews

[Alex Herder · Rating 3 out of 5]

This could have been a 2,000 word article, and it probably should be. In fact, if you can find an article by these authors on the subject or a long-form interview podcast, you should check it out. The idea is fascinating: that love is subject to both psychosocial and biological factors and that we are now starting to understand and successfully intervene in the biological side in a way that seems to be far more powerful and effective than traditional therapy.

The title and synopsis reads like it will be a pop science Michael Pollan-esque exploration of relationship/love pharmacology. Maybe something like How to Change Your Mind. But it's not that. It's much more of a philosophy text, with much more time dedicated to thoroughly establishing the ethical frontier of this movement and (in my opinion) far too much hand wringing. I did finish it, and I am intrigued by the implications, but most of the "on the other hands" probably could have been cut without much loss.

[Lilli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is full of interesting concepts and ideas about how to medicalize relationships and treat them in a clinical setting, many of which I agreed with. It is written mostly in engaging terms, but at times, it has a tendency to drag, and sometimes the reader/listener is left to do mental gymnastics to connect concepts across chapters—in other words, there is little fluidity between chapters and sometimes it feels as though the main points become diluted. I also have a hard time believing the authors are passionate enough about their beliefs and hopes for changes in the scientific and medical community to write a powerful book that could incite change or more open-mindedness towards the ideas of using MDMA in a scientific setting and otherwise administering chemical therapy to aid our relationships with others. I would be more interested in seeing their other work in the academic world.

[Arina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a great discussion on the ethics of love and drugs that can psychologically affect it. Much food for thought both about the future of biotechnology and what love is for me personally.

[Boris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this audio book on a road trip with my wife. It was an excellent idea. It spurred great conversations and made us reflect on love from several new perspectives.

I bought the book expecting to agree with the authors - what I got was more insight than what I expected and new and better arguments for things I believed.

I strongly recommend this book even if the topic does not seem relevant to you. This is a book that can help you see relationships in a new light.

[Chris Boutté · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the perfect blend of psychology, philosophy, and biology, and I don't feel like I can do a review of it justice. The book discusses so many topics about love and relationships that I haven't heard mentioned in any other books I've read. As a recovering drug addict, I'm always wary of how an author will talk about the use of psychedelic and traditional medications because some tout them as a cure-all and don't think about the ethics, but these authors surprised me with their views. They did a great job diving into a wide range of topics from heteronormative relationships, to homosexuality, to BDSM and polyamory. They did so in a professional, well-thought-out way as well, and I think everyone should read this book.

[Heather Browning · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting book addressing questions not often raised, regarding the use of drugs in managing our romantic relationships. How can we use drugs to start/enhance/end relationships? When should we? There is strong acknoweldgement here of the biological mechanisms and role of love, alongside the importance of autonomy in decision-making. I tend to side with the authors on most of it - having these additional options available for those who want them can't be a bad thing so long as people understand the hows and whys of what they're using.

[Jonathan Lu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to the audio book so don’t have as deep notes - a very fast listen that was like a 7-part podcast series. Covers drug pharmacology, society, ethnography or love and marriage, some overlap with sex at dawn and polyamorism. At center is the pathology of love in the brain and body - what happens when we fall in love / out of love / feel attachment, how to chemically cause love, falling back into love, and falling out of love. Ethics

Helping people fall in love
- Or fall back in love
- Majority of divorces are from amicable couples who grow fatigued of each other
- In contentious relationships, divorce can benefit the children
- In civil relationships, they do not

Helping people fall out of love
- Dealing with breakups, or in unhealthy / abusive relationships
- What about societal damage, like in the case of paedophilia?
- Risk of forcing people to fall out of love due to sexual orientation
- Patterns of initial love (oxytocin) are similar to OCD

Ethics
- Must be voluntary
- Must be when pharmacology is a superior process than other approaches
- Must be when the love is deemed unhealthy by the individual, not society
- Must be an adult, cannot be administered to children

[Rudi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Het boek leest gemakkelijk maar doet toch moeilijke vragen ontstaan , de inhoud is hoofdzakelijk, ethiek, verschillende vormen onder het woord liefde, en genees (?) middelen zoals bv SSRI , MDMA , zou het aan te raden zijn met eventueel substantie middelen op voorschrift om een partner die in een misbruik relatie zit maar toch verliefd (?) is /blijft op de partner proberen deze gevoelens te minderen of bij pedofilie proberen met (genees) middelen deze gevoelens weg te nemen of sterk minderen , met bv SSRI
Ethisch zou men dat waarschijnlijk kunnen omschrijven als verantwoord, goed ,
Of bij koppels waar er sleur is maar die voor/ door verschillende omstandigheden hun relatie wat verliefdheid ontbreekt, die toch samen zouden kunnen blijven door bv wat MDMA onder voorschrift te gebruiken , ethische vraagstukken ,
Het boek stelt een boel ethische vragen die dan waarschijnlijk persoonlijke ( meningen) antwoorden geeft net als ieder wat anders reageert op ( genees) middelen ,
Wat is ziek , wat is genezing, wat zijn geneesmiddelen, wat is liefde , ?
Het nadeel van (genees) middelen is mss gewenning, verslaving , ….. pijn lijkt altijd nieuwe ingangen te vinden ,
4 sterren ethische vragen met verschillende antwoorden ( meningen)

[Sascha Griffiths · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really enjoyed reading this book. If anything in it has a personal note for you then probably like me you'd want to read it slowly. It's packed with information and arguments. It's certainly very philological and will challenge what you may be culturally conditioned to believe about love. What I thought was especially interesting was the idea of technology, including drugs or medication, might cause great cultural and social shifts which may be hard to predict but on the other hand easy to envision a course for. Love might be changed significantly if relationship problems become a question of medicine and not of mere personal choice. The main idea of the book is that love is in part a choice and that it's also a responsibility to keep the feeling going. In a way, Earp and Sevunescu have produced the book which corresponds to the Sam Harris quote: "Reason is nothing less than the guardian of love" (from "The End of Faith", often quoted on social media).

[Simon Grimm · Rating 3 out of 5]

The fundamental premise of the book is solid and important: Love isn't some magical thing that strikes certain people when they find their perfect match. Instead, it is malleable, through psychological or pharmaceutical interventions, such as MDMA-assisted couples therapy.

The book itself is slightly too long, with certain anecdotes that don't add too much. Also, some pharmaceutical interventions that are being discussed, feel like a stretch. I don't feel like strong medical interventions that reduce loving feelings are available. It would thus add to the book if the authors would acknowledge this and shorten the respective chapter accordingly.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love how the authors reviewed all ethical considerations related to using drugs to enhance or break off relationships. It would've been interesting to learn about even more drugs and their effects since the focus was on mostly oxytocin and MDMA. For instance, I think there could've been more information on psilocybin for relationships. This is a growing area of research which makes it difficult to draw conclusions. My favorite and most novel parts imo had to do with the species of voles and different levels of oxytocin receptors and technology that can be used to change someones sexual orientation. There are moral implications of giving people access to this type of treatment which were reviewed and found very worthwhile to contemplate.

Note to self: reread part about OT receptors and vole species

[Tessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can tell this book is written by ethicists; it makes its points very gently and even-handedly. There were many very thought-provoking thought experiments (e.g. if someone is depressed, is it reasonable for them to swap their antidepressant from Wellbutrin to Prozac in order to decrease their sex drive and bring it more in line with their partners?) and I really enjoyed catching up a bit on the state of MDMA-assisted couples therapy, inhaling oxytocin, and if you can take any drugs to fall out of love with an abusive partner (not without major other side effects, so far). I did find some of their arguments unconvincing (e.g. the basis on which they argue for modifying one's sexual drives to better support a love relationship, but not if one's religion prohibits one's homosexuality) though I'm overall inclined to agree with their conclusions.

[Isobel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting and a lot of debates I hadn’t thought about before but could have been much shorter. Slightly repetitive

[Boris · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really great book. Must read if you're working in the area or interested in the subject.

[Liv · Rating 2 out of 5]

So boring 😴🥱

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars.

What a fantastic book. Brian Earp and Julian Savulescu approach this topic with pragmatism and insight and left me with an entirely new perspective on the world of biomedical love interventions. It was incredibly interesting to learn about how different drugs we are already familiar with - for example, antidepressants - can have such profound implications for our relationships. So much was covered over so few pages, and I enjoyed in particular the commentary around the risk of pathologising love and the balanced overview of how both prescription medicine and recreational drugs can play a role in the future of our relationships.

If anything, this book made me more ethically conservative about the idea of 'love drugs': the points the authors raised about the potential for abuse in communities where non-heteronormative approaches to sexuality are condemned made me reconsider just how accessible these interventions should be. Whilst I am still firmly pro-love drugs (for lack of a better term), these points made me pause and appreciate all of their potential applications.

I look forward to reading future work by these authors on the topic of biochemical interventions into love.