An intimate and inspiring collection of letters revealing some of the greatest queer love stories in history
"What this charming, moving and fascinating collection proves is that the [letter] form itself - a scribbled note, a declaration of love, an outpouring of passion, a bitter word - has always been with us." - Mark Gatiss
A good love letter can speak across centuries, and reassure us that the agony and the ecstasy one might feel today have been shared by lovers long gone. In The Love That Dares , queer love speaks its name through a wonderful selection of surviving letters between lovers and friends, confidants and companions.
Alongside the more famous names coexist beautifully written letters by lesser-known lovers. Together, they weave a narrative of queer love through the centuries, through the romantic, often funny, and always poignant words of those who lived it.
Including letters written John Cage Audre Lorde Benjamin Britten Lorraine Hansberry Walt Whitman Vita Sackville-West Radclyffe Hall Allen Ginsberg
Librarian's note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. This profile contains books from multiple authors of this name.
I don't normally rate or review non-fiction, but this one seems to be criminally under-rated. A beautifully curated book of love letters from members of the LGBTQ+ throughout history. Some made me cackle, and some made me sob. They really covered all emotions!
I picked this book up on a whim whilst looking at a bookstore's "Pride Month" display; I opened the book to a random page and read a beautiful letter from Sylvia Townsend Warner, someone I know of but have not read, and bought the book for her letters alone.
I flew through this collection in one morning and loved every selection, every fact about gay history. I wish I'd had this when I was in my teens; such marvelous examples of queer people navigating all different types of relationships ranging from family love, to platonic, to romantic, to fan letters (I loved particularly Oscar Wilde's letters to Walt Whitman). The collection dates back to Sappho and Marcus Aurelius (his letters are beautiful, unsurprisingly) and Shakespeare and King James 1 (who I did not know was queer!), to modern day writers and everything in between. The editors did an admirable job of putting each of the letters in historical context of what was permissible - or, in most cases, illegal - during the time of the letter writing.
Most of all, it's a reminder that though many things change over time - laws (thankfully), social mores, vocabulary, technology - love, in all its forms, is remarkably the same.
This was so, so, so wonderful! I love reading about our queer elders and the lives they lived, especially the loves they had and this was no difference. An invaluable book with letters dating back centuries, some of these really hit right in the heart - "Dear Sappho" especially made me sob and I had to show it to my girlfriend! I do wish there was some analysis of the first few letters as the language therein was really quite difficult to understand, even as a native English speaker, and it was a bit bizarre at the end having letters from people born in 1999 at the end, seeing as they're younger than me and does that really count as throughout history?! But all in all, a lovely collection that I will be making my girlfriend read in the future!
Thanks to Ilex Press and Netgalley for an eARC copy in return for an honest review!
‘All I know is that I just want to be with you right now. Together on the couch or on the bed, nothing has to be playing….I’d rather be with you in any situation. The world could be on fire or collapsing and I wouldn’t care.’
What a beautiful collection of letters, poems and accounts from history. Each piece of text was clearly chosen with careful consideration and placed perfectly in this anthology. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this collection, the addition of the small biography about each writer helped in keeping me informed as I read. This would be perfect for a gift, or just as a reminder of how beautiful love really is.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #NetGalley #TheLoveThatDares. All opinions are my own.
I loved this book so much! I have previously read collections of letters such as those between Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West so although part of me feels like I am intruding upon these relationships, the other half is fascinated to see them develop through their own words. There were names and relationships I knew from this collection prior to reading and many that I did not; but their universal themes of love and longing were so poignant and powerful even today. I think it is so important to learn more about LGBTQIA+ history and it is collections like this which make it so much more accessible for gaining such knowledge and insight into queer relationships of the past and also how they still impact in the present. I enjoyed the humour, sadness, flirtations and the mundane that makes up every relationship. Simply a wonderful collection and a perfect example of how enduring and beautiful love can be.
i don’t usually rate non-fiction books, but this one just had such a deep impact on me that i had to. this was absolutely incredible. just to know that queer love has always been around, and that despite a hostile environment, queer people have still found each other, and found that love is so special to me.
Important read for any queer person. We read about our history, we read about our trauma and we read about our pain but we rarely read about our love through history. I enjoyed it so very much
3.75⭐️ // ARC provided by the publishers via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
"This morning all the parts of me that haven't heard that you are away got me up and out early and longing to lie down with you."
This collection of LGBTQ+ letters throughout history was a wonderful overview of queer friendships and relationships from ancient times all the way up to today. I appreciated the small biographies woven through that helped to locate the poems in their original time period, and the breadth of letters covered. I only wished that we could have spent more time with certain authors and included more letters to build their relationships further and give more context to the conversations happening.
I really enjoyed this book - just a collection of letters and poetry between lovers or intense friendships with a lot of love present. I feel like book doesn't really make an overwhelming point, other than giving the letters a space/platform but nonetheless, I really enjoyed it and it was a welcome read. (note; I don't think the book AIMED to make some huge sweeping point other than to showcase a range of relationships throughout history).
Despite the fact that the book was all about love, I actually liked letters which contained 'mundane' elements like when they were merely updating one another about their lives or seemingly everyday things that happened to them (as opposed to grandiose declarations of their love). It was fun to see what certain individuals deemed worthy of telling their significant other or friend about their life.
Enjoyed brief note about how William Shakespeare published a full collection of his sonnets in 1609 despite writing them roughly 10 years earlier because they would be better received in the 'homosocial' court of King James. Also fun to learn that in Ancient Rome, romantic love between men wasn't deemed a crime unless the elder man seduced a young boy.
Unsure how I felt about Anne Lister's letters being included/preserved considering they wished for the diaries to be burned upon the knowledge of their contents. Been speaking to a few friends about it, but don't know if I agree with them being preserved. The book positions it as a positive thing because now we have access to this queer relationship in this time etc., etc., but I don't know if I feel that it was right given their original wishes. Not entirely sold either way. Big fan of MC Shermans writings at the end of the book though - couldn't really pinpoint why but I feel like their letters just seem more applicable to modern day than some of the others given when they were written.
Fan of the book though, really enjoyed and on brand for the valentines day reads I'm doing.
A fun fact about me: I LOVE reading books about letters. So much so that I have a full tag just for books about letters. So when I saw this at my local bookstore, I had to get it immediately.
The book started out as great 4,5 stars but the middle kind of lost its momentum with slightly too long and a bit more uninteresting letters. I still enjoyed it though and would recommend it to lovers of letters and people who want to know more about LGBTQIAA+ icons alike.
I want to reread this book until the memory of each letter is burned inside my brain. The more modern ones left me in tears. I can’t recommend this collection enough.
'I know that fear has reached places inside of us that love has yet to catch up to, but the thing I'm curious about is how are we going to help the love get there'
Thank you to Netgalley, Rachel Smith and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.
Beautiful historical accounts of LGBTQ+ people throughout history; told through letters, stories and poetry. Very interesting and emotional to read, I would recommend.
I recieved a ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This was a lovely collection, and perfect to read during LGBTQ+ History Month. I really appreciated that this collection wasn't a monolith: there were letters spanning a good deal of history, many of the writers were PoC and some were transgender (or would probably identify as such nowadays), although I would personally have loved more letters brushing on transgender topics. I believe all were originally written in English, which meant they were mostly confined to English-native speakers- so Brits, and Americans, but I believe that's a feature of the archive from whcih they were gathered. I would love a collection with some translated letters, so as to get a wider sample of letters cross-culturally, but I appreciate that's an extremely tall order. I also really enjoyed the letters of 'friendship,' featured here, and would love to have seen a few more of those- but I appreciate the love letters are probably were most of the dramatics lie!
This is a wonderful addition to any queer bookshelf. It's always wonderful to have concrete reminders of the old maxim, "we have always been here," and I love the emotional range in this connection- from domestic conversations (the letter between a gay couple which mentioned little things like one throwing out the other's worn shirt and doing his laundry was one of my favourites) to some extremely dramatic trysts and love triangles.. I also appreciated that many of the writers were slightly underdiscussed, or viewed from a slightly new angle- e.g. the Vita Sackville-West letter written not to Woolf but to another lover. It was also exciting to come across a George Sands letter, having just finished Briefly, A Delicious Life. And I defintiley enjoyed that they weren't all writers- of course, writers tend to write many letters and write dramatically, and famous people tend to have their letters preserved regardless of their occupation, but it was lovely to see letters from those who clearly didn't write for a living, and I appreciated that the collection left grammar and spelling errors intact where meaning could still be gleaned: there's clearly a real effort to paint as comprehensive a portrait of the queer community as possible here.
If I had one peeve, I would say I sometimes got lost in the introductions to each letter. Sometimes there's a lot of players to introduce- not just the people exhanging the letters, but third parties they're referring to- and this collection will waver between using surnames and forenames in these sections, which is tricky if you're just learning the names. I'd definitley reccomend a physical copy so you can flick back when you need to refresh on the names: I imagine this could get really frustrating in an audiobook. A similar point could probably be made about the little additional comments usually presented after the letters. I can't say I wish they weren't there, because many were fascinating, but because they were often so disjointed from the collection they did tend to break my flow a little, and I find I can't remember any of them now. Where they weren't directly relevant to the letters they came after, I think I'd rather have them expunged, or placed at the back, and have one or two letters included in their place, but that might just be personal preference.
All in all this is a wonderful collection, and I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in reading more about queer history but intimidated by historical tomes. This is readable, relatable, thought-provoking, and sorely needed right now.
"For a community which has lived too long with shame and oppression, this is a wonderful snapshot of a timeless and continuing presence..."
This collection of letters not only told beautiful love stories through the ages, but shared important historical context to give me a deeper insight into queer love and how couples had to deal the social stigma, and even the legality, of being in a queer relationship. These letters show clearly that love is love, no matter who you are.
The fascinating backgrounds and historical context pared with the intimate insights into these relationships made me feel like I was being transported in to their world. At times I even felt like I was reading something I shouldn't be because of the intimacy of the sentiments shared between lovers.
While some of the earlier letters and poetry were slightly harder to get through, the introductions to the writers and their moment in time made their letters come alive.
I really recommend this to LGBTQ+ allies - it's one that you can easily pick up and put down and jump to the stories that you're most interested in. It's also inspired me to pick up some books by writers featured in the book, such as John Hall.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a moving, daring and very readable book. Subtitled “Letters of LGBTQ+ Love & Friendship Through History '', it is a valuable resource of letters that have attempted to express feelings that have transformed lives. These are the often secret relationships that may have been frowned on at different times and places throughout the centuries, and indeed, have even been deemed illegal in some cases. It is a positive book, often celebrating love and friendship between people separated by circumstance, as letters rarely pass between those who are physically together, and trying to express real depths of feeling. I was pleased to have the opportunity to read and review this fascinating book.
This book is made more interesting by the biographical notes that precede each writer, which gives some details of the writer and recipient and the context in which they were written. These are well researched and written, giving necessary starting points for further reading. Most of the letters are from the twentieth century, but actually the collection begins with some of Sappho’s poetry from the BCE period. As the Foreword by Mark Gatiss points out, this collection also contains poetry which has attempted to convey something of the love that “dare not speak its name” in words and images. He emphasises the element of secrecy that has typified many relationships. The book has emerged from the collections held by the Bishopsgate Institute London, which has sought to gather and store the documentation and ephemera which reflect LGBTQ+ experiences in the UK and throughout the world. It invites those in possession of letters at the moment to contribute to the collection, with details at the back of the book.
Some of the letter writers in this book are well known. Anne Lister writes to Ann Walker, Benjamin Britten to Peter Pears, and Vita Sackville-West to Violet Keppel Trefusis. Some letters have replies added. There are reflections of complex relationships, including the situation involving Sylvia Townshend Warner, Elizabeth Wade White and Valentine Ackland, with reference to the definitive collection of their letters produced by the Handheld Press and Peter Haring Judd. Indeed, this book is extensively indexed, and features an exhaustive References & Resources section. The latter lists Archives, Books, Articles, Websites and Podcasts which are there to inform and inspire further delving into this area of interest. Throughout the text of the book are text boxes which give snapshots of others who had relationships of note, such as “The Ladies of Llangollen” and Eleanor Roosevelt. This book also includes writings of activists who are very much active today, and brings right up to date the issues of the twenty first century.
This is a book which works on several levels. As a collection of the thoughts and feelings which have often been ignored by mainstream literature it is an excellent book of introduction to fascinating people. For more academic study it presents accessible resources for in depth investigation. This is a book which I found readable and enjoyable, giving real insight into real people’s feelings, and introducing me to writers and others writing honestly of their love and friendship.
Stories are powerful tools, especially letters, as they speak straight from the world and experiences of the people who wrote them. For many it is rare to see themselves and their community reflected in books, especially LGBTQ+ people, children and adults, who are often made to feel that they have no history they can identify with. The Love That Dares seeks to correct that and give them a link with those that came before them, such as Benjamin Britten, Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde.
It is a wonderful collection of love letters from the past, that speaks to the present generation, shouting loud and clear that love is definitely love, no matter your sexuality. What I found fascinating was how Rachel Smith and Barbara Vesey didn’t just include letters from famous people many of us are familiar with, but have given a voice to the historical diversity of the LGBTQ+ community; such as the ancient Greek poet Sappho, who is said to have had male and female lovers and whose poetry talks about her passionate love of women.
Sing the song while I, in the arms of Atthis,
Seal her lips to mine with a lover’s fervour,
ANACREON’S SONG: THE LOVE THAT DARES: LETTERS OF LGBTQ+ LOVE & FRIENDSHIP THROUGH HISTORY – RACHEL SMITH & BARBARA VESEY Not only is it and emotional and powerful read, it is informative as well, each section is given an introduction, giving us the background to the letters and the people that wrote them. I was fascinated to learn of not just the love felt by the writers, but the context in which they poured out their feelings within. Men such Bayard Rustin, who was not just an openly gay man during a time of civil unrest, he was an influential adviser to leaders such as Dr Martin Luther King. Despite facing discrimination and attacks simply for being gay, he continued to work for issues he felt passionate about and poured out in his correspondence the agonies of the love he felt as a gay man, when his very existence was deemed illegal and an act of gross perversion. The authors giving a voice to his experiences and the anguish he and others felt, because society ostracized them. They have brought to life in the best way possible way within The Love That Dares, his thoughts and the love he and others felt, through their own words. They have allowed men and women to call across the generations to modern readers and say, we understand how you feel, we felt that way to, we see you and you are not alone because we walked before you.
Many still live with shame and in isolation and need to see themselves reflected in written word, just as any community does. This delightful collection of letters shows them that not only are they not alone, but that LGBTQ+ love, has existed throughout history.
It is an excellent and highly emotive read, that brings the history and the written word of the LGBTQ+ community to modern readers. It does so with a great deal of sensitivity, allowing the writers to speak for themselves and shows that queer love has existed throughout history.
It is time now to stop homophobia in in tracks and this book gives the lie to their arguments against equality. Love is what connects us to the people that pour out their feelings in The Love That Dares, not what separates us!
The Love That Dares - Letters of LGBTQ+ Love and Friendship Through History Rachel Smith and Barbara Vesey
Do you write letters? I used to write lots especially when I was at University. Now it’s usually a little post-it but I still write little sentiments even if I’m saying I’m popping out for milk, adding a little heart or I love you. So this book, a fabulous collection of letters of love and friendship from writers of the LGBTQ+ community through history is such a joy to read.
There is passion, desire, sadness, longing, joy and also secrecy. The fact that the LGBTQ+ community has, for a very long time, had to hide their feelings really saddens me. This book is testament to the fact that everyone loves and deserves to be loved and that will continue for as long as people walk this Earth.
There is such a variety of letters. We have poetry from Sappho, describing her passionate love of women, including Anactoria, who is the subject of the poems in this book. We have letters between Anne Lister and Anne Walker, some of you may recognise from the TV series Gentleman Jack, Oscar Wilde, Vita Sackville-West and my favourites between Benjamin Britten and Peter Pears.
“Why is it that the people I write of are so very often lonely people?” This is a question posed by Radclyffe Hall in one of the many letters that forms The Love That Dares: Letters of LGBTQ+ Love & Friendship Through History, Rachel Smith & Barbara Vesey’s collection based on the work of the Bishopsgate Institute, with its archive of queer correspondence. Smith explains in her introduction that “Letters are […] very personal and normally private […] LGBTQ+ letters are, if anything, more private, more hidden than those of heterosexual and cisgender people because of the added layer of secrecy brought about by fear of reprisal, hatred or criminal punishment.” Starting with the infamous poem from ‘Bosie’ to Oscar Wilde, which gives the book its title, it moves from Sappho’s poems to letters from St Anselm, James I, Anne Lister, Emily Dickinson, Susan B. Anthony, Oscar Wilde, Walt Whitman, Vita Sackville-West, Djuna Barnes, Gluck, Sylvia Townsend Warner, Allen Ginsberg, Audre Lorde, and others; letters in the traditional, epistolary sense, but also in some cases poems, notes — even a love note scrawled on a paper towel by Paul Swing. I particularly enjoyed the beautiful letters from John Cage to Merce Cunningham. Yet at times I was wondering about this act of voyeurism and its ethical concerns — even with deceased writers, there were times, for instance in the exchanges between Benjamin Britten and Peter Pears, where I wondered if I was really that comfortable peering uninvited into an everyday intimacy, let alone more profound or vulnerable moments. Either way, this book is a gorgeous reminder of the omnipresence of queer love.
“We are here and we have always been here with the same current desires, thwarted loves, pain and pleasure resonating throughout”
The collection of letters, written by queer lovers, friends and confidants throughout the centuries, felt like a privilege to read. There is such an intensity and intimacy of feeling through looking upon words written only to be seen in private, an expression of an all-consuming love that is penned so beautifully. that these people were writing at times when their love for one another was shunned, even criminalised, adds a depth of passion, longing and heartache that is truly awe-inspiring.
the collection moves chronologically through the letters, emphasising that queer love has shone throughout history despite being hidden away and from the countless letters that have undoubtedly been destroyed through necessity I am so grateful that these have remained intact.
my favourites to read were those by Sylvia Townsend Warner and her partner involved in a heated love triangle with letters that are so personal it almost feels invasive to read, yet I couldn’t stop! another is the letter written by Ivan Nuru, a gay Black American poet to his gay Black father in which he talks of how they can learn from each other to stop being afraid and embrace themselves as who they are. he writes “I haven’t read a story like ours because it hasn’t been written yet, so I thought I’d start with this letter” truly encompassing how many queer love stories are yet to be lived and told.
“I know that fear has reached places inside of us that love has yet catch up to, but the thing I’m curious about is now are we going to help love get there”
‘In The Love That Dares, queer love speaks its name through the words of lovers from years gone by. Alongside the more famous names, the Woolfs and the Wildes, coexist beautifully written letters by lesser-known lovers, giving us an insight into queer love outside of the spotlight of fame or fortune. These letters give us a glimpse into the passion and courage it took to continue a gay relationship in times when it was at best improper, and at worst illegal. Enlightening introductions to each set of letters give readers an idea of the historical context in which they were written. A good love letter can speak across centuries, and reassure us that the agony and the ecstasy one might feel in the 21st century have been shared by lovers long gone. This is all the more true of LGBTQ+ love letters: love affairs and relationships that, until very recently, had to survive within sealed envelopes and behind closed doors.’
The Love that Dares is an inspiring collection of letters dating from Sappho in 620 BC to the present day. Working from the archives at the Bishopsgate Institute in London, the book captures the emotion, the fear, the hope and the humour in letters sent by LGBTQ+ people across the centuries. The book features a wide scope of letters, and highlights the importance of visibility and allyship as we reflect on the pressures faced by these writers. These letters are informative, but the informative aspects of this book extend beyond that. The closing pages provide details of archives, articles, further reading and podcasts, which cultivate and continue this important conversation. A powerful collection that deserves your attention this year.
🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ The Love That Dares 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 - Book Tour and Review
This collection of letters of LGBTQ+ love in many forms expressed throughout history compelled me from start to finish.
This specially selected series of letters and excerpts encapsulates just a snapshot of the facets of the lives and loves of LGBTQ+ people through history, ranging from royalty right through to repressed minorities.
The letters have underlying tension throughout- of secrecy, loss, grief, confusion over self, discrimination and many other grave and perhaps unsurprising elements. What endured for me, however, was the true strength and magnitude of the love that continued because of and often despite that.
The declarations of this love throughout the collection will stick with me for a very long time.
I tabbed, laughed, read quotes aloud, got lost googling and researching people and figures and ended up taking some of my favourite declarations of love down in a spread celebrating the book for my book journal.
A beautiful celebration of both the LGBTQ+ community and its resilience, intertwined with a commendation to the tireless research and preservation undertaken by those involved with the Bishopsgate Institute.
Thank you so much to @annecater14 @randomthingstours and @octopus_books_ for my beautiful copy.
This is a beautiful collection of letters and poems from queer people through history. It was very emotional to read not just the love and lust but also the mundane moments, the chatter about everyday happenings and domestic concerns.
In addition to the main focus of the collections, which is the excerpts and the biographical info given to contextualise them, there were short pieces of on a other figures through history (usually related in some way to the preceding writer, through profession, social network etc). These were interesting little titbits, and I had quite a few ‘oh! I didn’t know they were queer!’ moments.
The only thing that I wasn’t so keen on was that the breadth of people included came at the expense of the volume of each individual excerpt - most people were allowed one or two writings, often quite brief ones at that. I understand that in some cases, especially the earlier ones, this is because more extant writings haven’t survived, but in other cases their collections were cited, so I can only assume more were available.
The Love That Dares was not on my radar - I had no idea it existed until the publishers kindly sent me a copy and I am so glad they did.
I don’t really read a lot of non-fiction, it isn’t what I enjoy. But I do enjoy letters, mixed media, secrets and heartfelt emotion. This book is all of those things and I felt so many emotions reading this one.
It was both heartbreaking and heartwarming, reading the most intimate and private thoughts, poems and correspondence felt both invasive and personal. It was amazing to see the displays of love, passion and friendship but so sad that it all had to be hidden away.
Thank you so much to the publishers for sending me a copy of this book, it was not one I knew of, but one I definitely needed. I devoured it in two (very busy) days and it brought some joy to a very stressful time.