Ghost: Why Perfect Women Shrink

by Iona Holloway

I am going to show you why your pain is invisible to everyone else, and why, in the struggle to be seen, your body became your battlefield.From the outside, your life looks polished. You’re talented, successful, strong. Your perfection safeguards you against suffering. Everyone assumes you’re fine, and you hide in plain sight.But the truth is that, inside, you feel like a fraud. From childhood, you’ve been gaslighted by your own gifts. “Good enough” is impossible. But being perfect leaves no space to be human. You suffer in silence. You use your body as a canvas to scream your pain, shrinking in a desperate bid to be visible.This book is my story and the story of women I have worked with. It is the story of how vulnerability will unlock your truth and set you free.Iona Holloway woke up one day and knew she could never go on another diet. She was willing to sacrifice her “perfect body” if it meant she felt whole—not lost, ashamed, and hopeless. She became her own guide on the hard journey of coming home to herself.Haunting, vulnerable, blunt, and stunning, Ghost is a story that reveals why strong women go to war with their bodies. In her debut memoir, Iona Holloway explores lost childhood, identity webs, hot shame, emotional freeze, love, and lineage to tell the story of how to change not just behaviours, but beliefs. How to ask for help. How to let go of perfect.Now is not the time to shrink. This book won’t heal you, but it will help you find the heart to heal.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism

232 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 12, 2021

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A masterpiece. To be honest I started this book believing that Holloway and I could not be more different. By the midway point I was convinced Ghost was written especially for me. I want to meet Holloway and tell her how much her raw, absolutely phenomenal memoir spoke to me as someone who has spent her entire life trying to be the smallest version of myself.

You deserve to read this book.

[Nicholas Gomez · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fascinating take on childhood trauma. And an original one, as well.

This book comes from a beautiful soul having healed itself from trauma. In it are just enough puzzle pieces for you to put together the puzzle that is your own life.

Gently executed, but not sugarcoated in any way, Iona holds your hand as you read through GHOST, but always reminds you that the work is up to you.

Though there is an emphasis on women in this book, many of the concepts are universal. Not only did this help me understand myself better, it helped me understand women on a much deeper level.

I am forever grateful for both of those things.

Thank you, Iona. Your courage and this book will change many, many lives.

MUST-READ FOR ANYONE WANTING TO HEAL

[Justine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Woah! Iona’s telling of her own battle to break free from perfect rattled my cage. It was in her vulnerability and turn of phrase that I found myself inspired to start looking inward at how perfectionism has manifested for me and where I still find myself playing small today. For me, this memoir not only offers beautifully raw and honest storytelling, but it also extends a hand and provides a starting point for anyone who is ready to jump on the journey toward self-awareness and healing.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poetic and raw. Do you want to break the cycle of perfectionism? The I can handle it all, keep it coming cycle? Read this book. Iona gives you tools to break the cycle.

[Kaitlyn Krna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Woah...this book hit me hard. Iona get it - that struggle perfectionists face. That other people are allowed to make mistakes but you own mistakes are not allowed. At some point in childhood, you were advanced and things came easily.

Parts of this book read as if it were written specifically for me. The struggle of feeling unable to ask for help. The feeling of shame when you make a mistake and let everyone down. The feeling of betrayal when your brain can't understand the math (or science, etc).

Not all of Iona's experiences were mine - luckily I never struggled with an eating disorder or exercise addiction. But so many of the feelings she described in the book are feelings that I have had (and even still do).

[Justin Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful Prose and a Powerful Message

This book is exactly what it should be: raw, bold, vulnerable, and, most importantly, authentic. Iona has a way of weaving words together in such a beautiful way that she is able to inject a powerful message without you even realizing it is happening. This subject matter can be dark and particularly challenging, but she leads you by the hand and gives you enough support to face your own demons. To anyone who has ever struggled with eating disorders, lack of self-worth, or perfectionism in its many forms, do yourself a favor and read “Ghost.”

[Kea4 · Rating 1 out of 5]

The description sounded ok but the writing style was very different than what I normally read. I just couldn’t get into it.
In the end, I think this book wasn’t for me. Now if it helps someone else that’s good but the drawings kind of creeped me out.

Just wasn’t my kind of book.

https://theworldisabookandiamitsreade...

[Caroline De Voecht · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought the book thinking it was mostly about how we (as women) put so much focus on how we look, but it was more specifically about Iona's struggle with an eating disorder in the past. Even though I am lucky enough never to have struggled with this, I did recognize the pattern of always raising the bar for yourself, to a level that becomes inhumane. The book was at times very dark and confrontational, and Iona is incredibly open about her own cruel behavior both toward herself and toward others in the past. She describes her experiences through metaphors so powerful, she is truly a magician with words. Very strong, interesting, vulnerable, confrontational but yet again hopeful read.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vulnerable and poetic page turner. She not only helps you understand why things have been the way they've been regarding food, body, and the war we wage on ourselves, but provides tools on how to move through. The reality is that you don't wake up one day and you're healed but Iona makes that clear while giving you the space and permission to start your own healing journey. Regardless of if you consider yourself a ghost woman or not, any modern age woman can probably see parts of themselves in this book a take something away.

[Payton Stupka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Piercing. Poetic. Poignant. Real & raw. Honest and true.