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Why Can’t We All Just Get Along: Shout Less. Listen More.
Why Can’t We All Just Get Along is part-memoir, part-polemic about the state of public discourse in Britain and the world today.
In an increasingly divided society, Iain examines why we’ve all become so disrespectful and intolerant. Using experiences from his career in politics and the media, he says it doesn’t have to be this way, and suggests how we can all emerge from tribalism and division and become more respectful to each other and those who govern us. It is a book that is optimistic about the fundamental decencies embedded in human nature and uses deeply personal anecdotes to explain why we can look forward in a positive way to a better life both in personal and material terms.
In an increasingly divided society, Iain examines why we’ve all become so disrespectful and intolerant. Using experiences from his career in politics and the media, he says it doesn’t have to be this way, and suggests how we can all emerge from tribalism and division and become more respectful to each other and those who govern us. It is a book that is optimistic about the fundamental decencies embedded in human nature and uses deeply personal anecdotes to explain why we can look forward in a positive way to a better life both in personal and material terms.
304 pages, Paperback
Published September 7, 2021
17 people are currently reading
133 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
January 17, 2021
Let's get a few things straight from the outset. I fundamentally disagree with pretty much everything the author stands for. For me his party has caused more misery in this country than should have been allowed. I bought this book (I actually have the hardback edition) as a present for my mum. Due to COVID and the Tory party's handling thereof I haven't actually been able to give this present to her yet.
However, all of the above being said I do tend to agree with the title. I freely admit that I am as guilty of going into my echo chamber far too often. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Politicians need to answer questions more honestly and feel that they can and debate needs to be less bear pit oriented please note Question Time producers. I stopped watching the program as it is almost unwatchable nowadays as there is little respect shown for people with different views.
The recommendations for Podcasts have been great finds
However, all of the above being said I do tend to agree with the title. I freely admit that I am as guilty of going into my echo chamber far too often. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Politicians need to answer questions more honestly and feel that they can and debate needs to be less bear pit oriented please note Question Time producers. I stopped watching the program as it is almost unwatchable nowadays as there is little respect shown for people with different views.
The recommendations for Podcasts have been great finds
August 23, 2020
This is an interesting memoir of Dale's history of campaigning and journalism and has some interesting chapters on general lack of trust in the media and how the political discourse could be improved. I wish it could have been a bit more polemic and a bit less memoir, but I suppose that does go somewhat against the message!
October 1, 2020
Audio copy via NetGalley for review.
I was drawn to this book as it blurbed: "In an increasingly divided society, Iain examines why we’ve all become so disrespectful and intolerant. Using experiences from his career in politics and the media, he says it doesn’t have to be this way, and suggests how we can all emerge from tribalism and division and become more respectful to each other and those who govern us. It is a book that ... uses deeply personal anecdotes to explain why we can look forward in a positive way to a better life both in personal and material terms."
Unfortunately, this is completely mismarketed and it's actually more accurately described as a memoir or a collection of Dale's personal viewpoints with a loose framing device of the state of public discourse. The acknowledgements explain how this book ended up mashed together. For me, it didn't work and resulted in a messy and unsatisfying listening experience.
Firstly, a few notes on the audiobook itself. Dale, having his own radio show is a decent reader, if slightly robotic. The bit of emotion when he was talking about his relationship with his father was genuinely touching. One thing that did irritate me was his impression of working class accents when reading quotes from northern public figures. Since he also did a passable impression of Boris Johnson he probably didn't mean anything by it, but it's always rubbed me the wrong way.
Now, I didn't know who Iain Dale was before I started this audiobook. If I'd known I was picking up a book by a centre-right, ex-tory brexiteer I probably wouldn't have bothered considering I'm a left wing remainer, but there's something to be said for opening up to opinions different to your own. Dale is, like most of us, a mass of contradictions (I'll get to those later). He has a Thatcherite economic stance and more liberal social values. I would have loved a deep-dive into why he rejected party politics and left the Conservative Party, but that's absent from this work. I would also have been interested in what he made of the Conservatives' more controversial policies e.g. Section 28, considering he's gay. Instead, we get seemingly endless pontification on a wide variety of topics, such as the NHS, climate change, Brexit, Mental Health and so on, usually not backed up by any evidence (there are no citations in this book at all).
There are parts of this book that feel like he's in the middle of a job interview or promoting his radio show. I had to laugh when he said "All they need to do is listen to my LBC show" while he was talking about attitudes to Islam in the UK.
My views do align with his relatively well on some topics, but on others he wildly misses the point on some left wing stances, but with this being a book, there's no space for discourse - it felt like he was talking at me and I was held hostage to his opinons with no opportunity for rebuttal for the duration of the audiobook. Ironic considering the subject matter. Probably best to keep that stuff for the radio show.
I still can't quite figure out what his stance is on use of language in discourse and causing offence. At the beginning he seems very sensitive to people swearing on twitter and shows like Naked Attraction on Channel 4. It's all a bit 'pearl clutching'. He says early on that people are too easy to offend nowadays, but later talks about how we should use language sensitively as it can cause harm if we don't? It's all very contradictory. He's offended by the term 'climate change denier', so make of that what you will.
I think there's several different books in here all fighting amongst each other. Based on the blurb, I think an interesting take could have been examples of truly disastrous public discourse (he could have drawn on examples from his own life) and then examined why they had gone wrong and looked at how they could be improved. Being someone who does some coaching at work, I know that there's plenty of sources on effective listening and conversations in the business sphere that could be applicable here.
I'd probably recommend this for Dale's biggest fans only.
I was drawn to this book as it blurbed: "In an increasingly divided society, Iain examines why we’ve all become so disrespectful and intolerant. Using experiences from his career in politics and the media, he says it doesn’t have to be this way, and suggests how we can all emerge from tribalism and division and become more respectful to each other and those who govern us. It is a book that ... uses deeply personal anecdotes to explain why we can look forward in a positive way to a better life both in personal and material terms."
Unfortunately, this is completely mismarketed and it's actually more accurately described as a memoir or a collection of Dale's personal viewpoints with a loose framing device of the state of public discourse. The acknowledgements explain how this book ended up mashed together. For me, it didn't work and resulted in a messy and unsatisfying listening experience.
Firstly, a few notes on the audiobook itself. Dale, having his own radio show is a decent reader, if slightly robotic. The bit of emotion when he was talking about his relationship with his father was genuinely touching. One thing that did irritate me was his impression of working class accents when reading quotes from northern public figures. Since he also did a passable impression of Boris Johnson he probably didn't mean anything by it, but it's always rubbed me the wrong way.
Now, I didn't know who Iain Dale was before I started this audiobook. If I'd known I was picking up a book by a centre-right, ex-tory brexiteer I probably wouldn't have bothered considering I'm a left wing remainer, but there's something to be said for opening up to opinions different to your own. Dale is, like most of us, a mass of contradictions (I'll get to those later). He has a Thatcherite economic stance and more liberal social values. I would have loved a deep-dive into why he rejected party politics and left the Conservative Party, but that's absent from this work. I would also have been interested in what he made of the Conservatives' more controversial policies e.g. Section 28, considering he's gay. Instead, we get seemingly endless pontification on a wide variety of topics, such as the NHS, climate change, Brexit, Mental Health and so on, usually not backed up by any evidence (there are no citations in this book at all).
There are parts of this book that feel like he's in the middle of a job interview or promoting his radio show. I had to laugh when he said "All they need to do is listen to my LBC show" while he was talking about attitudes to Islam in the UK.
My views do align with his relatively well on some topics, but on others he wildly misses the point on some left wing stances, but with this being a book, there's no space for discourse - it felt like he was talking at me and I was held hostage to his opinons with no opportunity for rebuttal for the duration of the audiobook. Ironic considering the subject matter. Probably best to keep that stuff for the radio show.
I still can't quite figure out what his stance is on use of language in discourse and causing offence. At the beginning he seems very sensitive to people swearing on twitter and shows like Naked Attraction on Channel 4. It's all a bit 'pearl clutching'. He says early on that people are too easy to offend nowadays, but later talks about how we should use language sensitively as it can cause harm if we don't? It's all very contradictory. He's offended by the term 'climate change denier', so make of that what you will.
I think there's several different books in here all fighting amongst each other. Based on the blurb, I think an interesting take could have been examples of truly disastrous public discourse (he could have drawn on examples from his own life) and then examined why they had gone wrong and looked at how they could be improved. Being someone who does some coaching at work, I know that there's plenty of sources on effective listening and conversations in the business sphere that could be applicable here.
I'd probably recommend this for Dale's biggest fans only.
November 17, 2020
I enjoyed much of this book but felt it didn’t quite hang together, and I discovered why when I read the epilogue. The title suggests it’s a guide to coming together, being less divided and learning to disagree more productively. Mostly, it’s not - it’s largely James O’Brien’s views on a range of topics, backed up by references to his phone-in show and other media appearances.
As it turns out, this is because he wanted to write a book about his most memorable moments, and his publishers wanted him to write a book about the decline of public discourse. So they put the two ideas together, when what James should have done, in my view, was write two different books.
That’s not to suggest that it isn’t worth reading. Anyone who can host hours of live radio, dealing with callers and handling breaking news, is bound to have some good stories. I was interested in many of O’Brien’s tales, and he puts forward interesting and sometimes takes on issues such as prison reform and abuse. However, apart from a rather half-hearted list at the end of “50 ways to improve public discourse”, there’s little here that will help any of us disagree better.
As it turns out, this is because he wanted to write a book about his most memorable moments, and his publishers wanted him to write a book about the decline of public discourse. So they put the two ideas together, when what James should have done, in my view, was write two different books.
That’s not to suggest that it isn’t worth reading. Anyone who can host hours of live radio, dealing with callers and handling breaking news, is bound to have some good stories. I was interested in many of O’Brien’s tales, and he puts forward interesting and sometimes takes on issues such as prison reform and abuse. However, apart from a rather half-hearted list at the end of “50 ways to improve public discourse”, there’s little here that will help any of us disagree better.
September 29, 2020
This is a wide ranging commentary by Dale on a multitude of topics that have inflamed, and enraged and incensed society. And it’s these reactions that are at the core of his message; it’s ok that we disagree with one another, it’s how we behave and verbalise our disagreement (and online) that’s the harmful thing. These topics include mental health (including references to suicide - so reader beware), climate change, sexuality, racism, the NHS, death, politics - the list goes on and it’s fascinating.
Not only does he give his opinions (in a calm and non-inflammatory manner) he also educates the reader/listener with suggestions on a better world when public discourse can be polite and not hurtful. We can but dream!
Not only does he give his opinions (in a calm and non-inflammatory manner) he also educates the reader/listener with suggestions on a better world when public discourse can be polite and not hurtful. We can but dream!
October 6, 2020
Good honest read
Enjoyed this book . Easy to read , Ian Dale seems an honest and down to earth young man. He would be wasted as a politician. Now gonna research his other work and I'll tune into LBC later.
OK young man may have been the spellcheck playing up. Good luck 'Finn'
Enjoyed this book . Easy to read , Ian Dale seems an honest and down to earth young man. He would be wasted as a politician. Now gonna research his other work and I'll tune into LBC later.
OK young man may have been the spellcheck playing up. Good luck 'Finn'
January 8, 2021
Hmmm, this book was quite interesting. But not all of it related to its title. Iain Dale seems like a kind and empathetic man. He’s not a great writer though and his ideas are not original. This book was messy and could have benefited from tighter editing. It was OK.
August 16, 2020
A thought-provoking and enjoyable read, focusing on topical subjects.
October 12, 2020
An interesting read, part biographical and an insight as to what does on behind the scenes of political tv and radio that we don’t always consider.
May 1, 2021
Mr. Dale's book was mostly enjoyable, especially the personal sections concerning his election campaign and career as a radio host.
July 29, 2021
Interesting insight of journalism!
August 6, 2022
Part Memoir-Part Political Commentary. Very insightful, interesting and informative.
4*
4*
October 15, 2020
Worth a read!
You understand that whilst our politics may have a different label we are more alike than we are different! Wish I had purchased the book and not the kindle version then I could have given it away to someone else to read!
You understand that whilst our politics may have a different label we are more alike than we are different! Wish I had purchased the book and not the kindle version then I could have given it away to someone else to read!
August 21, 2025
{From 2020] This is a refreshingly blunt exposition of the toxic political and media environment in Brexit Britain. Dale targets social media as a primary catalyst of the blinkered environment in which debate is conducted. We are becoming increasingly reckless with our language - a key theme of the book - and incapable of communicating nuance. Dale rigorously explores the issues of the day, from crime and immigration, to the NHS, and the B-word; media outlets must modify their presentation of these to invite more constructive debate (and fewer divisive panellists). Semi-autobiographical sections help to humanise Dale as a commentator who lacks easy categorisation: he is gay, socially liberal, fiscally conservative, a former Conservative parliamentary candidate and a Brexit supporter. He practices what he preaches; Dale movingly describes how the intimacy of radio allows guests to open up on his LBC phone-ins and build long-term relationships across partisan divides. He also hosted a series of All Talk shows at the Edinburgh Fringe to revive the long-form political interview over soundbites and highfalutin rhetoric. For Dale, what’s crucial to us “all getting along” is not some lofty idealism but renewed focus on our personal conduct. In this hypothesis, he leads by example.
September 13, 2021
I really enjoyed listening to this book. It's impartiality is refreshing, espcially on such sensitive and much debated topics. It makes the listener think about the way that people now react to sensitive topics in such an inflammatory way.
It would be much better if people actually listened and discussed properly, rather than the hate that is posted online constantly The book gives hope that one day we can move back to human decency towards eachother and learn to be more respectful in society once again,
It covers a range of topics, such as NHS, media, mental health, climate change, into which Iain adds personal anecdotes, as well as insights into the media and political sphere, from his long standing as a journalist.
It's a very good listen, and I would love if society could go head back towards living with such division and hatred. A very positive and optimistic book.
Thank you to Iain Dale, Netgalley and Harper Collins for the advance copy in return for an honest review.
It would be much better if people actually listened and discussed properly, rather than the hate that is posted online constantly The book gives hope that one day we can move back to human decency towards eachother and learn to be more respectful in society once again,
It covers a range of topics, such as NHS, media, mental health, climate change, into which Iain adds personal anecdotes, as well as insights into the media and political sphere, from his long standing as a journalist.
It's a very good listen, and I would love if society could go head back towards living with such division and hatred. A very positive and optimistic book.
Thank you to Iain Dale, Netgalley and Harper Collins for the advance copy in return for an honest review.
September 27, 2020
Overall, I enjoyed the book but I did feel that it was misnamed, as the title suggests that there would be an exploration as to how people on both sides of the argument have a point. Instead, I felt that this book largely explored the author’s point of view, which makes sense given who he is. Interesting though it was, I did nevertheless find that the content of the book to be different to what I expected. However, as it’s so unusual for a book with a centre right bias to be published these days, I did feel that the very existence of this book goes some way toward redressing the balance.
Some arguments I agreed with, while others I did not. Yet, I do not feel any any need to find out where Iain Dale lives in order to threaten him with a machete over our minor disagreements. Perhaps this means that the book has served its purpose after all. Or perhaps I’m just not the machete threatening type. I’ll let you be the judge.
Some arguments I agreed with, while others I did not. Yet, I do not feel any any need to find out where Iain Dale lives in order to threaten him with a machete over our minor disagreements. Perhaps this means that the book has served its purpose after all. Or perhaps I’m just not the machete threatening type. I’ll let you be the judge.
August 17, 2020
This is my first audio book in a while and I really enjoyed listening to it on a long drive home.
I’m not a huge political follower but as the book explores our political landscape and includes personal memoir I found it very interesting and thought provoking. The book is laced with humour and wit, throughout which held my attention.
Overall the message of listening more, being kinder and acknowledging other people’s options and views were very relevant in our modern social media world.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to listen to this fantastic audiobook.
I’m not a huge political follower but as the book explores our political landscape and includes personal memoir I found it very interesting and thought provoking. The book is laced with humour and wit, throughout which held my attention.
Overall the message of listening more, being kinder and acknowledging other people’s options and views were very relevant in our modern social media world.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to listen to this fantastic audiobook.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews