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224 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2000



Sadness was better than emptiness.I used to follow a polling blog up until the point that the hideous disconnect between it and my reality made its reoccurring engagement with "Millennials" impossible to deal with. Why don't Millennials move as much as their predecessors? Why do so many Millennials fail to move out? Why is the life expectancy of Millennials breaking the "progress" of increasing? Why; why; why? Money, you shitsucking numbfucks, along with the aside of ever increasing fascism now that the National Endowment for the Arts is facing extinction. If you've never near starved to death in your apartment due to a spike in your permanent despair over your life and its lack of steady-job-at-21-marriage-at-23-house-at-25 choices, congrats. If you have and still persist in believing that this book is indeed, as the GR description says, 'comic', you've ripped out your heart to appease another's head.
Only foreigners know about China's history, I thought.The great thing about the concepts of bildungsroman and künstlerroman is that anything goes. So you're in China instead of Europe/Neo-Euro, a rural traveler instead of a fortune squanderer, a woman instead of a man, Asian instead of white. What follows will not be to the expectation of anyone who's been guaranteed any portion of the US dream of 'normalcy' and all the dreams of exotification of lust that are consequent. Instead, you get the said lust control instead of the lust, the pursued instead of the pursuer, the dead body in the ditch rather than the character development that is birthed from it, the written instead of the writer. Spoilers would be tellinghow exactly this is all bleakly and tortuously subverted and bullheaded through, so I won't. I also won't say that my eyes didn't glaze over at certain points when the references were unfamiliar and the Duras-philism was a bit much, but who's to say that wasn't satire of the Genuine Passion Schtick corporations cultivate to hook in hundreds of talented yet underpaid underdogs? With prose that's deadpan to the point of provoking older neurotypical types to call suicide watch, it's nearly impossible to tell. Regardless, it's more 'real' to me right now than the litany of pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstrap indoctrination that will result in an extra 36k deaths a year, and that's from the repeal of Obamacare alone.
"Patton, you Americans take watching films much too seriously. It's like going to church for you. For us, going to the cinema is just the same as going to the market to buy cabbages."I didn't expect this to strike the chord that it did. It's meandering, flat, one-step-forward-two-steps-back, and ultimately far too close to the life I'm currently running the fast as I can in in order to stay in the same place. However, this made the moments of true emotion that much of a gutpunch, and there's little I'm more susceptible these days. In any case, I recommend this to all my fellow grinders who have hit their mid-twenties with nary a sign of life stability in sight. It'll either give you hope or sink you deeper, so the risk is yours.
Heavenly Bastard in the Sky, I missed the sharp edges of my life.
My youth began when I was twenty-one. At least, that’s when I decided it began. That was when I started to think that all those shiny things in life—some of them might possibly be for me.—and doubt—
I had this great urge to cry, but I didn’t want to cry alone. For a really good cry, I needed a man’s shoulder.
‘Life is just like those stewed pigs’ trotters. Sometimes you just have to eat what you’re given.’
Great Heavenly Bastard in the Sky

