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160 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2021
Salvador Dali - The motionless swallow - study
15. It is a fact that colour perception deteriorates with age, particularly in the area of the spectrum that covers blue, blue-greens and yellows. I worry about this in a way that I never worry about the deterioration of hearing - there are high pitched sounds that adolescents hear and that are beyond the reach of adults after around the age of twenty-five. Some security firms use this high pitch in alarms fitted to buildings where teenagers and anti-social behaviour are a problem. It never worried me that I could not hear the high mosquito-whine of these alarms; but I worry that one day blue might not be blue when I look at it. Maybe that is why I collect things that are blue and surround myself with them.
16 One of my favourite paintings is Van Gogh’s Wheatfield with Crows. It is one of his last paintings. The yellow of the cornfield is aflame and the blue of the sky is a dark and brooding glory. I saw it hanging in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam; it took my breath away and I wanted to step into the painting. It would be an unimaginable loss not to see that blue or that yellow in the way I see it now. It would be a loss comparable to the loss of words and thoughts.
303 Maybe Michelle is a memory. The one that got away, for we all have those stories, except a writer can rewrite his story and maybe this time she does not get away but stays on the page, fixed in blue ink. (I know that if you are reading this it will be printed in black ink, but I’m writing this with a pen in a notebook with lined pages, so it is as I write something fixed in blue.)
319 On 22 June 1940, Marshal Philippe Petain signed an armistice with Germany. He spoke on the radio to the nation about a new spirit of collaboration. As part of that collaboration Petain agreed to hand over the country’s ‘undesirables’. This included homosexuals and immigrants, traveller communities and, of course, Jews. You can’t just paint over that with International Klein Blue (IKB) and think people will forget - no matter how splendid the blue.
329 ‘There was sunlight on glass today, blinding like gold, flashing like a hand waving. His hand. I stopped what I was doing and paid attention to what He wanted me to notice. There was a child, a small boy, and he had fallen in the street and his knee was grazed. I knelt down beside the boy and told him it would be all right. I tore a strip from my petticoat and bound up his knee. You see, I thought I was helping him but when I looked into the boy’s blue eyes I could see that he was helping me.’