The Monkey Mind Workout for Perfectionism: Break Free from Anxiety and Build Self-Compassion in 30 Days!

by Jennifer Shannon, Doug Shannon (Illustrator)

A 30-day cognitive workout to help you cultivate self-acceptance, resilience, and the “mental muscle” needed to thrive in an imperfect world! Do you hold yourself—and others—to unrealistically high standards? Are you afraid of making mistakes? Do you live for to-do lists and deadlines, and yearn for flawlessness? You aren’t alone. In our competitive, high-pressure world, it’s natural to strive for excellence. But over time, these perfectionistic tendencies can feed the internal anxious “chatter” known as your “monkey mind.” So, how can you quiet the monkey and stop feeling like you need to be perfect all the time ? In this illustrated guide, psychologist and anxiety expert Jennifer Shannon will show you how to break free from the monkey mindset that drives your perfectionism and set realistic goals; unleash creativity, joy, and productivity; and foster self-compassion and compassion for others. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes, leading to a fuller and more meaningful life. Our monkey minds are hardwired for survival. They depend on the approval of others and the need to fit in and be accepted by the “tribe.” But monkey minds can also get in the way of reaching our full potential. If you’re ready to welcome imperfection and start taking risks, give this workout a try!

Genres: Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

Published August 1, 2021

About the author

My journey writing this book began as a 5 year-old, sitting next to my mother while she studied for her psychology classes. I wanted so much to be a psychologist and help others. But I needed plenty of help myself. I was an anxious child, prone to stomach aches, missing school, and nightmares of a man who lived under the house. When my father died I worried obsessively that my mother could die too.

It wasn’t until years later—after a seeing a succession of therapists, completing counseling grad school, and giving birth to my first child—that I discovered a clue to my persistent anxiety and worry. It was a new therapy at the time, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. CBT changed my life. I learned that my resistance to anxiety was what was maintaining it. When I practiced accepting and welcoming it, anxiety began to lose its power over me.

For the past 25 years I have made the treatment of anxiety the central focus of my practice. I treat Social Anxiety (extreme shyness), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Separation Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Phobias, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The powerful tools I’ve used to help my clients are the same tools I’ve used to help myself, and they can help you too.

Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind is a distillation of what I’ve learned from CBT and mindfulness practices. The book will help you recognize that your anxiety is not a monster to be avoided and resisted. It is only a wild, frightened little monkey that, with acceptance and welcoming, can be tamed.

Married for 31 years and a mother of three, I am a Certified Diplomat of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy and a member of the Anxiety and Depression Disorders Association of America, the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, the International OCD Foundation and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. I am the co-founder of the Santa Rosa Center for Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and the author of The Anxiety Survival Guide for Teens and The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook for Teens.

Reviews

[Ink_Drinker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been to many therapists to deal with this issue which causes me undue stress several times over the years, but it always seems to creep back into my life.

This is a great book and will be replacing my therapists going forward (much more affordable)!! There are 30 very helpful and thought-out exercises that will help you control your perfectionistic tendencies.

Going forward, I feel like anytime that I feel myself slipping back into my old habits, I can start doing the exercise in this book again to get me back on track.

I highly recommend this book to anyone that tends to be a perfectionist and therefore you are very critical of everything you do!! It will help ease those demands we put on ourselves.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfectionism is one of those ‘joke’ answers when asked in an interview about your biggest weakness. Oh, I’m such a perfectionist – like it’s a good thing. But it’s really not much of a joke: it can be a debilitatingly stressful way to live, and often stops people from living up to their potential. At the end of the day, we’re all human and all make mistakes – and that’s fine. There’s a calmer, more streamlined way to live, and that needs a loosening of any of those perfectionist tendencies. Easier said than done, but here’s a friendly guide to help, with 30 exercises to help you look at different aspects of perfectionism and then challenges you to attempt to change that behaviour.

Full review is up on my blog.

[Ali Afzal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and practical advice, good book

[Icy-Cobwebs-Crossing-SpaceTime · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of three workbooks to accompany the cognitive therapeutical book Don't Feed the Monkey Mind, this workbook focuses on overcoming the drive to Perfectionism, one of the threefold cognitive patterns of the limbic brain ("Monkey Mind") which feed into anxiety and discomfort. The author sets out a thirty-day plan of exercises designed to release the expectation of Perfectionism and replace it with a wider approach to embracing one's values.

[Wesley Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some interesting exercises to help anyone suffering from perfectionism. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and embrace mistakes and feedback :)