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The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism: Build Your Best (Imperfect) Life Using Powerful Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Self-Compassion Skills
An innovative approach to help you maintain your high standards while also accepting mistakes with compassion and kindness. If you’re a perfectionist, you know there’s a helpful upside to pushing yourself toward achievement, success—and, hey, it can be fun and rewarding to work hard! But unhelpful perfectionism can just as easily work against you. It can prevent you from taking risks or trying new things out for fear of failure, judgment, or rejection; cause you to procrastinate; and make you feel like no matter what you achieve, you’ll never be good enough. Grounded in evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), this workbook will help you discover what drives this ‘dark side’ of perfectionism, and develop the skills you need to overcome it—without lowering your standards. By leaning in to your values and treating yourself with kindness and compassion, you’ll learn to put mistakes in perspective without wallowing in self-criticism. Most importantly, you’ll find that you can allow for imperfection, without losing your drive to achieve. If you’re ready to stop unhealthy perfectionism from paralyzing your personal growth—and start embracing yourself as perfectly imperfect —this book will introduce you to a whole new you!
232 pages, Paperback
Published December 1, 2021
62 people are currently reading
252 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
October 30, 2021
The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism by Jennifer Kemp aims to boost self-compassion and improve psychological flexibility using acceptance and commitment therapy. The author is a therapist who has dealt with perfectionism herself, and she incorporates her own experiences to provide examples of the concepts being covered. She had tried cognitive behavioural therapy and didn’t find it that helpful, but came across acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) while in grad school, and it made a big difference.
The author explains that perfectionism isn’t a personality trait; it’s learned. While at some point it may have been helpful, it can become destructive. It’s been linked to a number of mental disorders, and it can get in the way of the things that really matter to you.
One bit that was a turn-off for me was when the author was talking about the link between depression and perfectionism. She wrote that while depression is often treated as a medical condition, it’s mostly due to the way people live their lives. She cited Johann Hari’s book Lost Connections, which I’ve ranted about before. He’s a journalist, not a clinician or researcher, and Lost Connections was about his own ideas about depression. It’s not an appropriate source to be citing as an authority on depression for a book like this. I was a bit dubious after reading that bit, but there were no further hiccups.
The book describes the processes that are part of perfectionism: setting excessively high and inflexible standards, a fear of failure, relentless self-criticism, and unhelpful avoidance. There’s an emphasis throughout on noticing and facing your discomfort rather than trying to hide from it, and the author reassured readers that fear isn’t a problem that you need to solve.
There are lots of good exercises to promote reflection, like assessing what your perfectionism is costing you and considering what short-term rewards might be reinforcing perfectionistic habits. I quite liked the exercises that were intended to show readers that you can’t control sensations, feelings, and thoughts, as well as the suggestions to promote willingness, like wearing mismatched socks all day, going to the gym with your shirt inside out, or going out without brushing your hair.
There was a chapter focused on building a life you live, using values as a guide. The book didn’t specifically mention the ACT life compass, but it used the same sort of approach.
Another chapter called “There Are No Quick Fixes” explored some common unhelpful strategies to target, including procrastination, working too hard, taking on too much, and seeking reassurance. The author encouraged readers to set goals based on values rather than emotions to feel or not feel or dead person’s goals.
The chapter on learning to be kinder to yourself addressed some common justifications for self-criticism and had exercises to explore how you learned to self-criticize.
Perfectionism is an important topic that I’m sure will be relevant to a lot of people, and acceptance and commitment therapy makes a really good choice of approach. I liked the author’s willingness to be vulnerable about her own experiences, and I thought the reflective questions were really well-formulated. I think this book could be really useful for anyone who’s struggling with perfectionism.
I received a reviewer copy from the publisher through Netgalley.
The author explains that perfectionism isn’t a personality trait; it’s learned. While at some point it may have been helpful, it can become destructive. It’s been linked to a number of mental disorders, and it can get in the way of the things that really matter to you.
One bit that was a turn-off for me was when the author was talking about the link between depression and perfectionism. She wrote that while depression is often treated as a medical condition, it’s mostly due to the way people live their lives. She cited Johann Hari’s book Lost Connections, which I’ve ranted about before. He’s a journalist, not a clinician or researcher, and Lost Connections was about his own ideas about depression. It’s not an appropriate source to be citing as an authority on depression for a book like this. I was a bit dubious after reading that bit, but there were no further hiccups.
The book describes the processes that are part of perfectionism: setting excessively high and inflexible standards, a fear of failure, relentless self-criticism, and unhelpful avoidance. There’s an emphasis throughout on noticing and facing your discomfort rather than trying to hide from it, and the author reassured readers that fear isn’t a problem that you need to solve.
There are lots of good exercises to promote reflection, like assessing what your perfectionism is costing you and considering what short-term rewards might be reinforcing perfectionistic habits. I quite liked the exercises that were intended to show readers that you can’t control sensations, feelings, and thoughts, as well as the suggestions to promote willingness, like wearing mismatched socks all day, going to the gym with your shirt inside out, or going out without brushing your hair.
There was a chapter focused on building a life you live, using values as a guide. The book didn’t specifically mention the ACT life compass, but it used the same sort of approach.
Another chapter called “There Are No Quick Fixes” explored some common unhelpful strategies to target, including procrastination, working too hard, taking on too much, and seeking reassurance. The author encouraged readers to set goals based on values rather than emotions to feel or not feel or dead person’s goals.
The chapter on learning to be kinder to yourself addressed some common justifications for self-criticism and had exercises to explore how you learned to self-criticize.
Perfectionism is an important topic that I’m sure will be relevant to a lot of people, and acceptance and commitment therapy makes a really good choice of approach. I liked the author’s willingness to be vulnerable about her own experiences, and I thought the reflective questions were really well-formulated. I think this book could be really useful for anyone who’s struggling with perfectionism.
I received a reviewer copy from the publisher through Netgalley.
June 7, 2024
Tremendous workbook with personalized activities, science backing evidence and importantly EMPATHY.
November 3, 2022
This workbook will be helpful for anyone trying to eradicate their perfectionistic thoughts/actions. It is extremely useful for those individuals that are afraid of failure, making mistakes, or not being perfect. The author indicates that we are not born with perfectionism, but rather, we learn it. While it can be a helpful trait in some instances, it can also be very destructive. Exercises, quotes, and scenarios are provided within the book to work on and reduce perfectionistic thinking and actions. I highly recommend this book. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
November 23, 2021
I love this book and would recommend it for anyone struggling with perfectionism. What I like about this book that I haven't found in other resources is that Kemp doesn't focus on trying to change your thoughts. If I could "just stop" being so rigid and hard on myself, I would have by now. Instead the author gives practical, step-by-step exercises to replace your old perfection-driven values and act in accordance with new, life-driven values. It's a dense book, so (like the title of one chapter) this is not a "quick fix" but provides the chance for actual, sustainable change.
March 12, 2022
Dealing with unhelpful perfectionism is hard (but not as hard as continuing to live with it), you’re trying to change your perfectionist behaviour while your perfectionist brain tells you not to. In this book, Kemp explains all the necessary components for getting your life back on track, helping you take small messy valued steps with bold compassion. She uses multiple case studies (and her own experiences) and a range of different exercises so there’s likely to be something for everyone who needs it.
September 19, 2021
Do you struggle with perfectionism? Do you prevent yourself from trying new things because you’re afraid of failing? Is failure something that’s hard for you to accept? Do you feel that you have to be the best at everything you attempt? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I highly recommend you read The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism by Jennifer Kemp.
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January 3, 2022
A wonderful resource for dealing with perfectionism
Breaks down perfectionism in an easy-to-understand way that is also practical.
Author presents various frameworks to identify unhealthy perfectionism (because there is healthy perfectionism too, she says) and how it can lead to negative long-term consequences.
It also presents various ways to tackle it and overcome it. Highly recommended!
Breaks down perfectionism in an easy-to-understand way that is also practical.
Author presents various frameworks to identify unhealthy perfectionism (because there is healthy perfectionism too, she says) and how it can lead to negative long-term consequences.
It also presents various ways to tackle it and overcome it. Highly recommended!
December 24, 2022
This was pretty good, but can self-help books seriously stop with the fatphobia? Please?
July 3, 2025
Hard work!
What did I learn?
Perfectionism is pervasive. It is a way of thinking and feeling in multiple areas of your life: relationships, work, appearance, and hobbies.
You can have high standards and they can generate positive results. But how you make improvements is through small, repeated steps towards goals that align with your values; ideally with help from others who understand your feelings and accept you for where you are at presently.
What won’t work is idealistic planning and radical change through leaps of faith into the unknown without adequate social support or room for experimentation.
One of the exercises I enjoyed most was determining value-based goals. Values being a quality or approach to something important to you. In relationships, I value respect, reliability, calm, and humour. At work, I value stability, balance, and leadership. For hobbies, I value connection, joy, and relaxation. And for appearance, there wasn’t a category for that but I relate it to other interrelated categories of home, clothes, and health where I want peace, beauty, comfort, and security.
So it’s those things I want to work towards. But often I don’t because I make the bar too high. So I avoid making progress, or I abandon standards altogether.
I have made progress in my life: social mobility, treasured friends and family, great health, a well-paying and secure job, a nice home in a walkable neighbourhood. But there are still painful gaps. A chronic lack of a loving relationship, a lack of financial security, being easily irritated by people I perceive as discourteous or incompetent, and a lack of direct purpose in my working life or civic engagement.
So how do I change those things?
According to this book, it’s to make small repeated steps towards my goals by approaching them in a way that aligns with my values and seeking help from others. Make eye contact, smile, and say hello. Save 10% of your income, take one holiday a year, and buy one thing a fortnight that progresses your dreams to play music or have a beautiful home. Find a balance between letting go and applying boundaries. Recognise the significance of your job to your private life, and ask for advice about how you can make a difference in public life.
Ok.
What did I learn?
Perfectionism is pervasive. It is a way of thinking and feeling in multiple areas of your life: relationships, work, appearance, and hobbies.
You can have high standards and they can generate positive results. But how you make improvements is through small, repeated steps towards goals that align with your values; ideally with help from others who understand your feelings and accept you for where you are at presently.
What won’t work is idealistic planning and radical change through leaps of faith into the unknown without adequate social support or room for experimentation.
One of the exercises I enjoyed most was determining value-based goals. Values being a quality or approach to something important to you. In relationships, I value respect, reliability, calm, and humour. At work, I value stability, balance, and leadership. For hobbies, I value connection, joy, and relaxation. And for appearance, there wasn’t a category for that but I relate it to other interrelated categories of home, clothes, and health where I want peace, beauty, comfort, and security.
So it’s those things I want to work towards. But often I don’t because I make the bar too high. So I avoid making progress, or I abandon standards altogether.
I have made progress in my life: social mobility, treasured friends and family, great health, a well-paying and secure job, a nice home in a walkable neighbourhood. But there are still painful gaps. A chronic lack of a loving relationship, a lack of financial security, being easily irritated by people I perceive as discourteous or incompetent, and a lack of direct purpose in my working life or civic engagement.
So how do I change those things?
According to this book, it’s to make small repeated steps towards my goals by approaching them in a way that aligns with my values and seeking help from others. Make eye contact, smile, and say hello. Save 10% of your income, take one holiday a year, and buy one thing a fortnight that progresses your dreams to play music or have a beautiful home. Find a balance between letting go and applying boundaries. Recognise the significance of your job to your private life, and ask for advice about how you can make a difference in public life.
Ok.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews