Μοντεσσόρι στο σπίτι με το μικρό παιδί 1-3 ετών: Πώς να μεγαλώσετε ανεξάρτητα και υπεύθυνα παιδιά

by Simone Davies, Hiyoko Imai (Illustrator), Ελένη Στεργιοπούλου (Translator)

Ένα σημαντικό βιβλίο-οδηγός για γονείς γραμμένο με απλό και πρακτικό τρόπο. Ο τόμος αυτός εστιάζει κυρίως στην ανατροφή των παιδιών 1-3 ετών.

Ήρθε η ώρα να αλλάξουμε τον τρόπο με τον οποίο αντιμετωπίζουμε τα μικρά παιδιά. Χρησιμοποιώντας τις αρχές και τα εργαλεία της μεθόδου Μοντεσσόρι, η Simone Davies μας δείχνει πώς να μετατρέψουμε τη ζωή μας με παιδιά 1-3 ετών σε μια χαρούμενη και δημιουργική περίοδο για όλη την οικογένεια. Με εκατοντάδες συμβουλές και παραδείγματα, φωτογραφικό υλικό και χρήσιμες λίστες, θα μάθετε πώς:
•Nα παραμένετε ήρεμοι όταν το παιδί δεν είναι και να θέτετε όρια με αγάπη, σεβασμό και κατανόηση
•Να βλέπετε τον κόσμο μέσα από τα μάτια του παιδιού
•Να διαμορφώσετε κατάλληλα το σπίτι σας και να απαλλαγείτε από την ακαταστασία
•Να οργανώσετε μοντεσσοριανές δραστηριότητες
•Να μεγαλώσετε ένα ανεξάρτητο παιδί που του αρέσει να μαθαίνει μέσα από την εξερεύνηση και την ανακάλυψη

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Education, Childrens, Family, Audiobook, Self Help

264 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2018

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most parenting books don't deserve 5 stars because I disagree with them in enough parts, or they're weak in vital areas. And while I might not subscribe 100% to Montessori methods, this book does an amazing job of relating to your toddler. (the illustrations are an additional bonus. They are so beautiful and eye-catching!)

Toddlerhood is a tough age. It's a struggle sometimes to get through each day (for both of us I think). But this book not only directs and instructs, but it also comes alongside and gives resources and further support. The appendix at the back is so vital. I'm definitely going to reread this book many, many times, and I've already highlighted and scrubbed in the margins.

Whether you subscribe to a Montessori mindset or not, this book helps you best relate to your toddler, to give them a wonderful childhood, and for everyone to learn to be a bit more like a toddler and enjoy the present, instead of worrying about the future.

5/5 stars.

[Erika RS · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book introduces Montessori principles and shows how to apply them in the home for toddlers. The overview was interesting, and the book had a number of good tips. However, it was repetitive. Chapters had repeated content. Even worse, within chapters the same content would be presented in the text as a list then in a sidebar as a list with nearly identical content. I also felt that only the first five chapters really had a Montessori focus. The rest of the book was fairly general parenting advice through a Montessori lens. That said, chapter two (Montessori principles), chapter three (Montessori activities), and chapter four (setting up the home) were worth reading, so I still give the book two stars.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was an extremely interesting read. The book follows Maria Montessori’s principles of raising a free and responsible child by helping your toddler discover the world with all its wonders. The activities focus on practical aspects of daily life e.g. setting up the child’s room to foster sensory development, coordination and sense of order. Well-designed and clear, the book will be appreciated by new parents seeking practical guidance into how to implement Montessori principles at home.
Highly recommended.
Thank you to NetGalley and Workman Publishing Company for the review copy provided in exchange for an honest opinion.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book for daydreaming. While there are some Montessori nonsense (mostly about banishing nonsense), I love the idea of building competence in kids, partially because it frees up the adult humans. This book is especially effective. It gives practical how-to suggestions for everything from potty training to sleep to (and this is mostly what people think of) play and education (I like the idea of making younger children care for older ones to prevent sibling rivalry, and not immediately demanding kids share when they have one toy.)-- and it even includes pictures! Beautiful enviable pictures. While Davies says that you shouldn't be doing it for the 'grams, these little European work and play stations are de-light-ful.

Of course then you start to think--wait, so if I need to saw off the legs of all the furnature to make it their height, what do I do when they grow a little bit? what if they have a young sibling? or two? What do I do with all those kiddie tables and chairs underfoot? And what becomes of all those superfluous legs?

Look, if you take it too literal and banish Santa Claus from your kid's culture and ship them off to the farm to work as teens and everything, you might be displeased with the Montessori ways, but if you enter into it flexible, taking what is useful for you, it's a delight. And everything you wont't do but like,that's the day dream fodder.

Reread: Just read this now that Lucia is indeed a toddler, and I appreciate the list of experiences in the back as a "quick tips."

Also, last time I read this as an audiobook and now I read it in paper copy and HOLY COW, this is the most beautiful parenting book I've ever seen. This belongs on your copy table.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pros/agreement: your toddler is capable of quite a bit. You are responsible for teaching them, leading by example, speaking kindly to them, and helping them. They are human beings who have needs and interests and feelings.
I mostly liked the parts about incorporating your child into your daily life, teaching them to take responsibility for themselves, helping them to have a desire to learn and explore, etc.

Cons/disagreement: as with most that is not based on Scripture, there's a lot of "respect your toddler and don't tell them no or that they're wrong if you can help it." Lol. So if you read, take with a fair sprinkling of salt. :p

[Faye Zheng · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked this up to learn more about the Montessori approach. Montessori is like Whole Foods to me. I’m a willing consumer and fairly bought-in, but am mildly irritated by the brand and its deliberate catering to the bourgeoisie.

[Rachael Marsceau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing can take away initiative as fast as when we redo something that they did. - Jean K. Miller

Be fast when it makes sense to be fast, and be slow when slowness is called for. Seek to live at what musicians call the tempo giusto - the right speed. - Carl Honore

[Andee Marley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The easiest, most organized and understandable guide to raising thoughtful and inquizitive children I have come across.

[Liva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lai arī mans bērns vairs nav mazulis (vecumā līdz trīs gadiem), man bija ļoti interesanti šo grāmatu lasīt. Montesori nav tikai dārgas koka rotaļlietas, kas pārklātas ar eņģeļu asarām un montesori māšu sviedriem. Tā ir vide kopumā un tas ir veids, kā komunicēt ar bērnu cieņpilni, kā palīdzēt viņam, netraucējot. Vienlaikus tie ir arī daži padomi, kā savaldās mīlošs pieaugušais, kuram pacietības kausiņos pil pēdējie pilieni. Tā ir grāmata gan bērnu vecākiem, gan pedagogiem. Un tas viss brīnumainā (vai gluži pašsaprotamā) kārtā palīdz ikdienu padarīt vienkāršāku un produktīvāku (vakaros ir grūtāk, bet, piedomājot, savaldības zaudēšana un "sprādzieni" notiek daudz retāk). Šeit ir arī ļoti daudz tā dēvētās follow up literatūras, īsāk sakot, labs iepazīšanās materiāls ar Montesori pedagoģiju un domāšanas veidu.

Plašāk blogā: https://lalksne.blogspot.com/2020/11/...

[Arta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nav vienas vienotas receptes, kā izaudzināt cilvēku, taču mūsu uzdevums ir darīt visu iespējamo, lai vecumdienas nenāktos pavadīt veco ļaužu namā.⁣⁣
Ameriku vai velosipēda darbības principus vēlreiz no jauna atklāt jums neizdosies.
Atklājiet, ko jaunu! Atklājiet savu bērnu!⁣⁣
Plašāk emuārā: https://austra.lv/2021/03/15/simona-d...

[Elena · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked some of the ideas in this book, especially the advice about including your children in household tasks from a young age, but this book lost me when it suggested only reading your children books with realistic stories and illustrations. I disagree with this advice so vehemently I ranted about it for days and then couldn't pick it up again.

[Alex Railean]

This is an interesting book, though it gets repetitive at times, therefore I didn't fully go through with it. Nevertheless, the parts I did process had some useful advice.

Notes for personal use:

## prepare the environment
- do this before the child shows up
- sit at their eye-level to see what they would see. For example, make sure that they can see the nice art pieces
- check what toys and tools are within their reach
- make sure nothing is missing (for example, puzzle pieces or parts of a toy without which a process won't work)

## hands on
Children are more involved in processes where their hands are also involved.

Example: arithmetic with tangible items, as opposed to abstract talk. The items can be visually appealing and pleasant to the touch.

## sensitive period
Period during which the child is particularly interested in a specific subject or skill. Figure out what they are sensitive to and leverage that, don't try to push other things.

## unconscious and effortless absorption
- until the age of 3, it happens automagically
- so be a good example of the values you are trying to promote

A sponge absorbs muddy water as well as clean water ;-)

## freedom within limits
- choose your own snack, as long as you eat it at the table
- choose your own clothing, as long as it is appropriate for the weather


## modes of learning
Each child has different preferences and efficiency curves when it comes to nodes: oral, visual, hands-on, etc. Some need more repetitions, others need fewer.

You have to figure out where the child stands and adapt to their style.

## respect
Deal with children with the same level of respect you'd apply to a fellow adult.


## activities
- consistent use of hands
- carrying objects
- etc.


There are 5 categories of activities
- eye-hand coordination
- music and movement
- practical life (regular activities we perform on a daily basis)
- arts and crafts
- language

Try them with your child, see what gets them interested.

Avoid activities that are too easy or too hard at the moment.

Montessori emphasizes **completeness**. For example, if a puzzle piece is missing, the activity cannot be completed by design, so the activity should be taken off the agenda. I personally see value in incompleteness, because one can improvise and find another way to engage into this activity.

When demonstrating an activity
- break it down into small, concrete and easy steps
- avoid talking, since the child might not be able to understand whether they should watch your hands or your mouth (note to self: hmmm, interesting)
- be consistent and always do X in the same way (-:
- handle the object in a way that the child can handle it too (for example, use both hands, don't do any clever tricks that require exquisite dexterity)
- SHOW: slow hands, omit words - > easier for the kid

Rules of thumb
1. Let the child lead - they choose the activity and the pace
2. Let them work with the activity as long as they like. When they're done, ask them if they want to repeat the activity. Don't interrupt their focus. Wait for them to request assistance.
3. Avoid quizzing the child. E. g, "where's the fish?". If they're wrong, the only thing you can do is say ~"no, you are wrong" - > not good for their self-confidence. Instead: keep pointing at things and naming them, without quizzes. Only quiz when you are absolutely sure they know the answer and are happy to share it. Author says this usually happens around the age of 3.
4. Put the activity away when the kid is finished, to emphasize that there is a beginning, middle and end to a task. (not sure I agree with this, at least my gut feeling is not sure about it - sometimes you just enjoy the process for its own sake, no?)
5. Model - be a model of behavior you want them to emulate. For example: carry one thing at a time, always put the item back, don't throw objects, etc.
6. Allow any non-standard use of toys and materials, but stop if they're used inappropriately.
7. Modify an activity to meet the child's level. For example, remove complex shapes from a "shape sorter" toy - leave the cylinders and cubes, but remove the stars or other quirky items.
8. Arrange the activities on shelves from easiest to hardest (not sure I agree with this, it assumes the kid accesses everything linearly :-)
9. Use what is available, improvise with materials you have at hand.
10. Be careful with small parts and sharp objects



When preparing their environment, make sure everything they need is in place, so they can help themselves. For example, if there is water involved, ensure that napkins or a towel are within their reach, so they can use them if there's a spill.

## arts and crafts
- Instead of focusing on what they should draw, only explain how to use the materials and tools
- Montessori teachers usually refrain from using coloring books, because it already defines what the outcome should be (at least in terms of shapes)
- don't insist on respecting the color scheme of reality. If they make grass non-green and the sky non-blue, let it be
- give feedback, but keep in mind that not all feedback is equally useful. "good job" is generic, whereas "nice curve!" or "interesting choice of colour" is more useful to them.
- inquire - "would you tell me more about the picture you made?" to get them to talk. The authors discourage asking "what is it?" because sometimes it can be absolutely nothing (-:
- use good quality materials
- show by example, start with primitives: lines, curves. If you show a perfect looking flower to a child that can only draw squiggles - they may stop trying because they see it is futile.
- when showing something, do it on your own paper. You don't know the child's intention and your input might jeopardize their plans.
- language: expose your child to a rich vocabulary. If you don't know some objects by name - look it up and make sure they see how you use the dictionary.

## books
- until the age of ~6 children cannot really tell the difference between fantasy and reality. You tell them about witches, they'll think they are real.
- Avoid fantasy, it could form real fears about non-existing concepts.
- prefer reality: a human driving a car is better than a bear driving a car
- rhymes and poetry are a good fit
- choose books that you enjoy reading, because kids will ask for a replay many times :-) they will pick up the love for books from you, if you don't love books, you won't model the behavior you want them to replicate.


## speech related stuff
- use proper words, as the child learns their vocabulary from you
- when the child cannot say what they need - ask them to point to it
- don't finish sentences for them, let them take their time to figure it out on their own
- have moments of silence, there's no need to necessarily feel everything with sounds or dialogues.

## activities
**Object recognition by touch** (stereognosis): take an opaque bag and put some items in it, close the bag and let the child figure out what is inside. Make sure you use objects that are easy to discriminate, maybe a spoon and a spintop, not a zebra and a horse and a pony (-:

## managing the house
- put nice things at the child's eye level (-:
- have nice child-friendly furniture
- independence - consider what is necessary for them to be able to do what they want without having you around to open/activate something
- low-hanging hooks for then to hang on their coat or backpack
- full height mirror, so the kid can watch themselves get dressed and become more familiar with the routine

[Agris Fakingsons · Rating 4 out of 5]

..ar katru bērna attīstības soli šī grāmata kļūst aizvien aktuālāka un noderīgāka. :)

[Maddie Fanos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the Montessori method and this book does such a good job of explaining how to implement it in the home in an accessible way! I appreciated how many practical, concrete parenting suggestions were included. It definitely wasn't one of those parenting books with vague tips that leave you wondering how exactly to put the info into practice. I know I'll come back to this over and over, it was so valuable for me!

[Marrynka]

I really loved this book and would recommend to anyone who is interested in this (or similar) type of parenting. I listened to an audiobook but decided to buy a paperback as well in order to be able to revisit the chapters when needed - book contains a lot of practical advice and step by step guidance on how to tackle a lot of situations and milestones with children.

[Agata · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly everything I could expect from such book. It’s beautifully illustrated, full of examples of how to react and what to say as well as the explanation of all the ‘whys’. It’s not short but very informative.

[Hannah Jayne · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting.

don’t agree with some of the philosophy, but do agree with the idea that traditional schools are not the ideal. however… still wouldn’t want to send my children to a school.

concepts that intrigued me:
setting up spaces from a toddler’s pov, pictures at their level, furniture their size, kitchenware and cleaning supplies they can reach on their own, activities and toys they have access too.

training them that to be finished with an activity is actually to have put it away completely. sounds hard. i don’t even do that.

counting to ten after asking something of them, before repeating it, to let them process what we’ve asked.

showing separately from telling, to not overwhelm them when learning.

attempting to understand their perspective and not just being annoyed. (though i don’t think “toddlers are incapable of being malicious” or that being upset is always okay and should be accepted as long as no one’s hurt)

putting together activities as little kits that your child has access to, can set up themselves, and do alone with minimal help.

narrating what you’re doing, each small step.

how often she insisted on making spaces beautiful.





hm. idk. other principles to apply and others to ponder more. things that seem normal to me (“be gentle yet firm”) and things that are but shouldn’t be (“you are enough”). not my favorite book but some good ideas and some good reminders?

[Ruth VandenBerg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been fascinated with Montessori ever since listening to a podcast on the life of Maria Montessori. Child psychology, development and learning really interests me since I work with young kids almost every day (at the OT clinic, nannying and in sunday school) 🤭😇 I love how the Montessori Method encourages independence and creativity and also puts an emphasis on beauty and simplicity. As well as allowing kids to experience the breadth of their emotions and teaching emotional health as parents / caregivers coregulate alongside them!

I love learning about how I can serve and love kids best as their absorbant minds are learning how to interact with the world around them. This book gave a lot of practical advice and ideas on a variety of subjects! From setting routines, to good language to use with children, ways to help them explore and be creative while ensuring safe boundaries are set in place etc. Will definitely be using this in my future work and also with my potential future kiddos!

[Kaylene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not sure I expected this to be such a thorough book on parenting. In some ways I'm sure it would have been great to read at the beginning of my journey, but in other ways I like to see that my intuition has led me down a similar path so far. Definitely addressed and gave guidance for some specific things I'm facing right now though, which I was really struggling to know how to deal with on a very practical level.

[AlinaG · Rating 4 out of 5]

La capitolul parenting am depășit deja un număr de vreo 10 carti citite, asa ca îmi dau cu părerea mea de părinte citit:))
Cartea este frumos structurata, aerisita dacă pot spune. Este, cred, una din cele mai drăguțe carti ca și design, scriere.
E genul de carte de citit cu creionul/underlinerul în mana.

[Devon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would definitely purchase this book and use it as a reference. Not only does it outline the simple ways to upgrade your home to create an ideal environment for your child, but it gives advice on how to deal with conflict with toddlers/partners/family etc. it’s a mix of Dr. Gottman and Pinterest.

I love the idea of a Montessori education (not sure I could afford it) as I hear more often that students in kindergarten are learning what I learned in first grade (25+ years ago)... I was definitely still taking naps in kindergarten, not writing full paragraphs! I value the ideals of children learning compassion, responsibility, and respect before memorizing US presidents.

[Robert Frecer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cultish and dew-eyed or greatest idea ever? I’ll find out in two years, and maybe come back to change my review.

Pleasant book with plenty of good ideas, but I am wary of any intimations of messianism, of which there were many.

[Gary Mclean · Rating 1 out of 5]

Great book ruined by too much repetition forcing you to skim read it. The book should be half the length it is.

[kaweewah dabest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Obsessed

[Edita Kazakevičienė · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Mes padedame vaikams patiems atrasti, duodame jiems laisvę, nustatome ribas ir sukuriame sąlygas sėkmei atitinkamai pakeisdami namų aplinką taip, kad vaikai galėtų visaverčiai dalyvauti kasdieniniame gyvenime."

Augindama antrą vaiką aš į viską žiūriu daug paprasčiau, ramiau ir kantriau. Todėl ši knyga papildė mano jau turimas žinias ir yra puikus sąmoningos, lėtesnės ir harmoningesnės tėvystės principų rinkinys.
Informacija pateikta labai glaustai, estetiškai ir papildyta nuostabiomis iliustracijomis bei nuotraukomis.

Simone Davies yra Montessori mokytoja ir tinklaraščio apie šį metodą autorė. Montesoriškas gyvenimo būdas yra paprastas ir lengvai pritaikomas kiekvienuose namuose. Tai nereiškia, kad vaikas nebegalės žaisti ar visi žaislai turės būti mediniai. Autorė netgi rekomenduoja neužsiimti tokiomis pačiomis veiklomis namuose, nes po to vaikui bus neįdomu Montessori darželyje/mokykloje.

Šioje knygoje rasite patarimų, kaip stebėti vaiką ir paruošti Montessori veiklų, kaip ugdyti ir skatinti prigimtinį poreikį tyrinėti bei mokytis. Pagrindinės idėjos, kurias pasiėmiau iš šios knygos: žvelk vaiko akimis, sek paskui vaiką ir matyk jį tokį, koks jis yra. Man, asmeniškai, Montessori principų pritaikymas namuose netgi labiau patiko, nei darželio ar mokyklos.

Autorė taip pat remiasi puikiais autoriais, kurie daugumai jau yra girdėti ir skaityti: Daniel J. Siegel ir Tina Payne Bryson, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, Gary Chapman, Adele Faber ir Elaine Mazlish. Apskritai, manau, kad pagarba vaikui, buvimas vaiko vedliu ir neskubėjimas, turėtų būti kertiniai vaiko auginimo principai.

Daugiau knygų apžvalgų www.profesionalimama.wordpress.com

[Krystal Reyland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting!!!! Ps. Reading this because I work with teenagers and not because I’m pregnant

[Emilie Harvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Très intéressant et pertinent. Permet de relativiser plusieurs aspects du développement de nos toddlers d’amour! Je recommande 10/10 pour tous les parents qui souhaitent en connaître davantage sur l’approche Montessori. Qu’on y adhère partiellement ou complètement, ce livre regorge de trucs pour rendre nos petits plus autonomes.

[Branimir · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first book on the Montessori methodology for any age. I picked it after careful review of multiple highly recommended "starting" books that combine ideology discussion + practical application examples and analysis. The book met my expectations, and I recommend it to anyone that searches for a read on the topic and shares the background I mentioned above. It may feel a bit too basic to existing practitioners or people who have read a few other books on the topic.

Montessori's primary rule of thumb is to be observant. Parents, caregivers, anyone involved is to observe the kid's behavior at any time and act accordingly in a supportive and involved way. It's great to see the different examples/guides on appropriately challenging a kid and then mostly observing the resulting work (physical or mental).

Grown-ups provide guidance when needed, and in most cases, only when the actions taken by the toddler are to affect their health negatively, a peer kid's health, or damage some item. This protest learning by doing, which I fully agree is the best way to learn at any time of life. To stimulate positive outcomes of activity, the Montessori method involves preparing the environment and then helping the kids help themselves (quoting some page in the book).

Best of all, children are respected as grown-ups and allowed to behave as such, to the extent possible at their age. Thus, the author advises parents to always involve the kids in discussions of actions and reactions while observing. Disagreement is healthy, yet it has to be also presented as an option on the chosen track (the kid is free to test and fail, while in a safe environment). This also requires communicating with the growing up young members of the family in such a way that you do not manipulate them and still steer them to the best of your knowledge.

In conclusion, what I have read here makes for an excellent base for tests in real life :) Whether my kid will join such kindergarten next year or not, we will surely borrow some of the principles at home. And I believe I will read some other books on the topic, going eventually to the more psychological observation of Dr. Maria Montessori herself (check "The Absorbent Mind").

Some more ideas here: https://montikids.com/montessori/7-be...

Why 4* - cause I "really liked it" (as the Goodreads notation says).

[Heather-Lin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly thought provoking and inspiring, even for a non parent. Many of these principles are kind, respectful direction for being a loving human with ourselves and others.

Many times I marveled at how applicable the advice is for our beloved fur babies. They have that same sense of innocence, curiosity and need for consistency to feel safe.

Stuff I learned:
~Emphasis on observation instead of analysis and judgement.
~Descriptive Feedback instead of generic praise. "Good girl/boy"exclamations can easily create praise junkies and is often used as manipulation.
~Create environments where winning and self help are the natural outcomes. "Help me to help myself."
~Slow down, slow down, slow down.
~Create a family mission statement/guidelines.
~Kind limits and boundaries instead of force, bullying, bribery. Emphasis on natural consequences instead of punishment.
~Allowing/accepting all emotions, while limiting behaviors.
~Be wary of imposing rules and labels.
~Imagination vs fantasy


My favorite chapters:
Chapter 5 Part 1 Encouraging Curiosity
Part 2 Accepting Our Child For Who They Are
Chapter 6 Nurturing Cooperation And Responsibility
Chapter 8 Being The Adult

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5 Stars. 100% impressed!

[gwayle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I learned two useful things from this book, which otherwise reads as a lifestyle blog with its trendy and shallow advice:

1. Watch for what your kid is drawn to and help him/her master the skill. My just over one-year-old started going to pieces around bubbles and gripe water, both of which he loved a second ago. I finally realized (with the help of this book) that he passionately wants to be the one to put the wand or the dropper into the bottle. So I set up a station filled with empty conditioner bottles with pumps, and he now spends huge chunks of time calmly fitting long narrow shapes into bottle openings. I like the chart of age-appropriate activities for skill mastering in the back of the book.

2. Declutter your child's spaces and set them up so that s/he may be as independent as possible (can reach toys and access things like water and tissues).