Playing Without a Partner: A Singles' Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness

by Megan Stubbs

There are more single adults in the US now than ever before, about 45% of the population (according to the 2018 US Census). Whether single by choice or actively looking for a partner, single adults face unique challenges in their sexual and sensual lives. There is this idea that long-term couples have stagnant sex, and singles are out there partying and having great sex. But singles often deal with near-strangers who don't know their bodies, and don't necessarily have love, trust, and respect for them. This doesn't always make for better sex, or even good sex, so how do we make this easier?



Sexologist and relationships expert Megan Stubbs is here to kill the stigma attached to single lifestyles, and provide advice on how to not only embrace single sexuality, but make the most of the time while single. This is not an advice book on how to find a partner to cure what ails you—this book recognizes that whether looking for a long-term partner, actively dating, or happily single, there can be difficult aspects to single sexuality. But there are also ways to optimize your pleasure, improve your interactions, feel sensual and erotic, and have an empowered sex life while still single. Join Stubbs on this all-inclusive journey through singlehood!

Genres: Sexuality, Nonfiction

179 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 11, 2021

Reviews

[Holly GoLightly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Playing Without A Partner: A Single's Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness by Megan Stubbs was an interesting experience for me as I've had many conversations that were similar to various chapters. For several of my friends, I'm their go-to when it comes to sex questions, online dating, or relationship advice and we've covered so many issues that Megan discusses! Not everyone is lucky enough to know a sex-spert though, which is why it's so lovely that Megan has distilled her essence into a book covering these vital topics. Despite being unable to get into the flow of the book, each chapter was rich with essential information, and was written in a way that did allow for skipping around subjects as desired. Megan also sprinkled each chapter with humor and anecdotes that ranged from amusing to arousing.

"Put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others" is a frequently heard statement and the theme of Playing Without a Partner. Megan guides the reader through a series of exercises and journal prompts to become at peace with all the facets of oneself and establishing healthy boundaries before introducing others. I appreciated her covering topics such as reconciling who you are, your relationship with your body, what gives you pleasure, and why you should never fake an orgasm. Also impressive is Megan's Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide which goes over important questions like what to do if you have gas on a date...or forget your date's name.

Though Playing Without A Partner was clearly aimed at singletons, while reading I found that it could also be useful to coupled folk as well. The term "self-care" is thrown around a lot while talking about burnout and such, but Megan goes beyond that to talk about self-love (and not only masturbation). So many of us were taught the importance of a relationship without stopping to discover who we are as individuals. Those of us who need to go on a journey of self-discovery could benefit from Playing Without A Partner for a bit. Additionally, for those adventurous couples who would like to swing or add a third, the dating and sex portions are a good refresher and introduction to current courtship.

[mirror · Rating 2 out of 5]

straightforward, prosaic
found from looking around powells books
tbh ive read a huge amount of sex ed resources at this point, and this was pretty basic, surface level stuff. more a handful of topics that youd have to go to other places to get a deeper dive in. it may be helpful to people who are just starting to open their mind up to different sexual possibilities, but i did find it somewhat limiting. i absolutely found it to be quite focused on het people, which the author sort of acknowledged but also claimed that most aspects of this could be applied to everyone. and i cant forget a part where the author was like “make sure not to sneeze on your partners genitals” but i find sneezing pretty hot so like…i guess there are a few parts where i found the advice too prescriptive and limiting in possibilities (more than the sneezing, lol)

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an amazing guide for living single & maintaining your mental health, masturbation, sex education, & a guide to ethical hookups and relationships. While I knew most of the information in the book, I still learned a few things. This is a great sex ed book for older teens to adult ages. It was a nice refresher of information. The language, especially in the beginning chapters, come across as the author having a chat with a friend. It’s not dry information. The chapter about her IUD almost made me pass out reading though. LOL, I am too queasy for that. She also gives some mental health and journaling prompts to help you on your road to singledom self-discovery. I liked it.

[Alison Wood · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. It’s fine but nothing mind blowing for those of us that already know the importance of pleasure and have already deconstructed expectations around needing a partner to reconnect with our bodies.

[Karolina Wilde · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely amazing. I feel like it should be on the reading list in schools or a mandatory read for Sex Ed classes because it has so much interesting and important information about sex and self-pleasure which I feel like people never get to learn about until much later in life. I also loved the humour and tone of voice of Dr. Megan and those little stories of her own personal experiences were a delight!