The Kindness Principle: Making relational behaviour management work in schools

by Dave Whitaker

Written by Dave Whitaker, The Kindness Making relational behaviour management work in schools advocates a behaviour management approach rooted in values, acceptance and a genuine understanding of children’s behaviour. In an education system that too often reaches for the carrot-and-stick approach to dealing with poor pupil behaviour, an approach built on kindness and compassion might just provide the cure. The Kindness Principle begins with the idea that relationships should be at the heart of behaviour management and culture, and sets out the ways in which the adoption of relational approaches can help create safer and happier schools. Schools where all staff and learners are valued and understood, where expectations and standards are high, and where kindness and acceptance matter. Dave Whitaker explores why it is so important to understand children – offering techniques and advice on how to work effectively with all children (even the most challenging and troubled ones) without resorting to zero-tolerance, no-excuses and consequence-driven practices. Dave also shares a wealth of real-life experiences from some of the most challenging schools in the country, along with research-informed insights that will help teachers understand children’s behaviour in a new light. To this end he provides a wealth of guidance to help develop effective practice and learn from people who have actually walked the walk and don’t just talk the talk. Furthermore, the topics covered in the book restorative approaches, unconditional positive regard, building personal resilience, structures and routines, and the ins and outs of rewards and sanctions. Suitable for teachers, school leaders and anyone working with children.

Genres: Education, Teaching

152 pages, Paperback

Published May 4, 2021

Reviews

[Katherine McGreevy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An encouraging read as a teacher who values relationships and empathy, but fears being perceived as too sensitive, too gentle. Sensitivity is a strength that can both heal and reveal the best in others.

This book has affirmed my values and I feel that I now have a reference for times of uncertainty.

‘I have come to feel that only one person can know whether what I’m doing is honest, thorough, open and sound… and I am that person.’

[Mrs Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was worried this book was going to be yet another one blaming teachers for the issues in schools. However, this book has relationships and the idea of safety and security interwoven. It also gives teachers permission to be kind to themselves - won’t always get it right but that’s being human - and teachers need to feel safety and security too.
I am implementing lots of strategies and ideas from this book, I too believe relationships are critical but sometimes struggle with feelings of guilt because I’m not perfect. This book left me feeling powerful and allowed to admit that occasionally I need help and there’s nothing wrong with that!

[Sara Eames · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent exploration of relational behaviour management with some good, clear ideas that can be used in school.