Danseur

by Ruth Miranda

When Jai decides to rent the house he shared with his late husband, he has no idea he's about to meet the man who'll change his life. For Lin DaoShi's not only famous, he's also straight – and comes nursing an eating disorder and a broken heart. After a riding accident that threatens to end his dancing career and hamper his acting, he trades China for the UK in an attempt to flee the spotlight and find some peace.What he finds, though, when crossing paths with Jai, is his life changing and his world turned upside down. For after their chance meeting, DaoShi no longer knows who he is or what he wants out of life.Brought together by a common love for ballet, they soon find themselves trapped in a pas de deux only the secrets they must keep can break apart...

Genres: Contemporary, Drama, Romance

336 pages, Paperback

Published December 22, 2020

About the author

"As soon as I learned my ABC I was writing stories."

Ruth Miranda is a Portugal born and raised author who feels more comfortable around words than people, especially if those words happen to be in English, a language she once taught for a living - amongst other varied jobs. She started making up stories in her head as a child, to put herself to sleep, but the stories kept growing with her, so eventually, they needed to be put to paper. Her published work includes The Preternatural Series and Blood Trilogy, as well as the romance novel Danseur and the Byanamese Romance series. You can find her being social on Instagram under the handle @ruth__miranda, where she shares snippets of upcoming and published work, and on her Patreon, where she posts thoughts on writing, deleted scenes, and an online novel. Find it here https://www.patreon.com/RuthMiranda

Reviews

[Gee Rothvoss · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The mere thought of him rouses me, inflames me. I'm like dry tinder, and he's the spark; together we're a blaze that might just end burning us to cinders."

Ah, friends. How to review this hell of a rollercoaster, and make sure you make it justice? Nothing I say is going to truly express just how much Danseur made me feel. There are too many butterflies inside my chest every time I think of Jai and DaoShi, and they tickle but also hurt in the best of ways. a.k.a., READ THIS BOOK.

In "Danseur" we meet Wang YanJai, a young man whose husband died eight months ago and is now trying to rent the house they used to live in, now haunted by the ghosts of his past. It's just his luck that Lin DaoShi himself, a famous Chinese ballet dancer and actor whose life has recently come crumbling down--as well as one of Jai's all-time idols--decides to rent the place for a while. At first sight, there's nothing they have in common; Jai's gay where DaoShi is straight, Jai's a widower where DaoShi just lost his fiancée to his best friend, Jai's energy is vibrant where DaoShi's darkness is all-encompassing. But as they start to warm up to each other, an electricity neither can quite explain bringing them closer and closer together, they find they're not that different after all. For each of them carries his own burden, walks down a dark, strenuous path, and won't be able to stay afloat much longer in the ocean of loneliness that threatens to drown them.

Even writing this small summary made me tear up! There are so many things I love about 'Danseur'. First of all, let me give you big TWs for references to past abuse, PTSD, anorexia, and suicidal ideations. Make no mistake; this may be a contemporary gay romance, but it's a dark one. Ruth tackles diverse difficult topics, such as the ugly side of the acting industry, eating disorders, domestic violence, and gaslighting, and doesn't shy away from exposing how it truly feels. In the case of EDs, I have to take off my hat. Those aren't easy to understand even for people who suffer from them, leave alone properly represent (big F you to Netflix's "To The Bones", by the way, on that) without falling into toxic stereotypes. But here the rep was spot-on, and I couldn't be more thankful for her careful depiction of just how horrible this mental illness is.

And... Jai and DaoShi! Oh, sweetest Lord! The character development is an awesome one, particularly in DaoShi's case. The way he slowly unravels, and questions everything he's been taught or bullied into believing, had me crying more than once. I close my eyes, and I can almost hear how his deep voice would sound, see how his gaze would soften when looking at Jai. Jai, sweet Jai, who has been through Hell and back more than once and still has it in him to keep trying. Both of them had complex, well-developed background stories, and as they dance around each other, we get to glimpse at what made them the men we meet.

This book felt like a release. Swept away as I've been lately by all the YA out there, this book was a much-needed gust of fresh air, as well as a catharsis of sorts. It's beautiful in a way I can't even begin to explain. Think AFTG #2 and #3, but bigger. There's no coach Wymack to have Jai or DaoShi's backs, there's no Bee to help them fend off the PTSD. There's just Jai and DaoShi, and everything between them. It's more mature than AFTG was, but gave me similar vibes and equal monstrous amounts of feels.

I'm already saving to get myself a paperback copy I can read over and over and over and over again! You can pre-order it on Amazon Kindle now for $3.99, to get it on your device on February the 13th, or get your own paperback for $15.00! Trust me, it's worth each and every cent. Please, trust me, and give DaoShi and Jai a chance. You're not going to regret it.

All in all, this was an absolute blessing. Ruth Miranda is an amazing storyteller, able to pull imagery and metaphors that take your breath away in the blink of an eye, and I don't think I can ever get enough of her books! This may be my first RM read, but it sure as hell won't be my last!

[Caesara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so intense, the characters felt so true, so real. I absolutely loved this book ❤️

I was following the author on Instagram for a long time but never read her books. So on Monday decided to read Danseur.
I started reading it with zero expectations, without even reading the blurb. I had little idea about the book from the Instagram posts, that is about two men falling in love, one of them being a professional ballet dancer.
So that was all I had. And from the first pages I was swapped away in the story. It's so easy to read, the words felt like flowing on the pages and transports you in Jai's and DaoShi's world from the first pages.
The book is written from both main characters point of view, helping you to better understand them and find out what drives them, what makes them do the things they do.
After reading only 2 chapters I was so attached to Jai. To his pure heart and soul, to his sweetness. He suffered so much but he was not taken down but his suffering, he only grew stronger and if it was possible he only loved and cared more for the ones close to him.
And DaoShi. Another troubled and broken soul. He loves Jai with such passion and abandon ❤️ At first he does not recognize or understand his feelings, him being straight and because he never watched or wanted another man as he does with Jai. But as soon as he realizes his feelings he is determined to keep Jay by his side forever ♥️
The story is not all flowers and butterflies as both main characters struggle to mend the broken pieces of their hearts and lives.
They both have suffered enormous pains and are still hunted by their past but together they manage to put themselves back together piece by piece. And in the end they are better, perfect, just like kintsugi pottery ♥️

If you want to read it, and I strongly suggest that you do, please note that it treats very sensitive subjects, such as mental illness, anorexia, suicide, rape, mental and physical abuse, etc. This is not an easy book to read but the way the author manges to surprise their interior torments, their struggles to understand who they are and who they want to be, the characters development, all comes out in an amazing read.

P.S.: The chapters are named after ballet steps 😊♥️

[Lily Heron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Danseur is a heartrending, beautiful contemporary M/M romance read. Following the death of his husband, vulnerable Jai starts to rent their house to actor and dancer DaoShi, whose star is at risk of waning. What follows is a tender, heartbreaking story about a fledgling romance between two individuals struggling with different aspects of themselves and their pasts. Ruth Miranda's handle on emotion in the story is absolute, flowing seamlessly from sweet to steamy, sharp to sensual, leaving the reader carried along on the raw emotional experience of the two MCs. With legacies of an abusive relationship and eating disorder carried between the pair of them, there are times when Jai and DaoShi's story can be difficult to read, but the overarching theme is one of love, support, companionship and friendship, a 'you and me against the world' sort of feeling. The pacing and structure of the novel is on point, the characterisation rich and deep. I want to shelter Jai in my heart, and the ending of the novel left me with such a heavy emotional weight that it took me a while to get myself together enough to write this review! A must-read <3

Re-read in a day because when I'm in a certain mood, there's no other story I want to read than 'Danseur'.

[Mandy C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ruth’s style of writing is a delight. The plot itself has complex and layered main characters, but her prose gets us deep into Jai and Daoshi’s minds and makes us connect with them right away. They both have lives and motifs of their own and are much more than the romance they portray, which is something crucial in the genre, in my opinion.
⠀
I must address what a complete OTP they both are! Every interaction is sensible, touching, and constructed with great care, how they peel each other's layers little by little until they finally get together! And the steamy scenes! Omg, don’t get me started on the steamy scenes! The perfect balance of hot and romantic in a tasteful manner. So great!
⠀
Also loved how sensitive topics were approached within her novel. From the complicated verging on abusive relationship Jai had with his late husband, to Daoshi’s eating disorder and discovering his new sexuality, to their past and how it turned them both into the men they are. It's all woven perfectly in key moments of the story to add depth to the drama. Amazing! Sure recommend!

[Elisabeth Huerta · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story starts off with Jai, one of the two main characters, grieving the death of his husband Allen. With raw emotion the reader feels the dispare and sadness Jai feels, however, throughout the story you get a sprinkle of clues that all was not what it seems, there is something darker hiding underneath. Cut to Lin the second main character who is struggling with his own problems, he has lost his fiancée who has left him for his best friend, and pair that with an injury he has received stopping him from doing what he loves most and his dwindling stats that are important when working in the entertainment business, and you get a person who is in the worst time of his life. Both of these wounded souls meet and immediately have an intense chemistry that builds from a friendship, they both help each other in their time of need, baring their dark secrets to each other and helping each other get out of the darkness they find themselves in.
The writing is top notch, and as a reader you get caught up in the romance and mystery. Definitely recommend this book if you want something that is far more than just romance, it will make you not want to stop reading.

[Venetia Constantine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful MLM romance, which explores weighty issues of domestic violence and eating disorders from the POV of male victims and sufferers. These issues aren’t explored enough in books from the male POV, and Danseur thus casts an important light on things society oft-overlooks.

But for all that this book is about trauma, it is ultimately a tender love story, with a focus on healing. It doesn’t shy away from how hard that journey can be, but maintains a faith that kindness, trust and empathy will eventually allow that journey to take place.

[B.S.H. Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

(I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest review)

You know when you watch an indie film that’s so real, so raw, and so human that you feel you’ve been given secret access to someone’s private life? Like, there’s nothing Hollywood about it? Just real people in hard situations trying to overcome them. You laugh with them. Cry with them. Wish desperately you could take them out for coffee.

Well, if you seek that feeling in book form, look no further than Danseur.

This story follows two men who never should’ve met. Life stacked all its cards against them and their relationship. But love rarely lets us off that easy, and Ruth Miranda gives us front row tickets to watch the love of Jai and DaoShi ignite. And what a slow burn it is. They couldn’t be more opposite. Different backgrounds, ages, careers, and sexual orientation. But something begins happening that neither of them can explain. A connection. A friendship. A love. And they’ll have to fight to make it work.

This tale isn’t for the faint of heart. I promise you’ll be laughing, crying, and screaming the whole way through. Miranda doesn’t shy away from the real life tension, the toxic baggage people bring to a relationship, or the heavy conversations that must be had. The dialogue is real, and the characters even more real. Heavy content abounds. But that shouldn’t deter you because we need this exposure to the human condition. To connect with like souls. To remember that, at the end of the day, love is something worth fighting for.

Miranda’s prose is elegant and raw. Her characters leap off the page and drag you in. I look forward to reading more of her work.

[Elen Chase · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the 4th book I've read by Ruth Miranda and it's quickly become my absolute favorite among the author's works.

There's something raw and real within her characters that just captures me and makes me feel everything they feel, which turns the reading experience into a rollercoaster of emotions, some beautiful, some excruciatingly painful.

Jai is a sweetheart and his story, his past, completely broke my heart. For the entire time I wanted to give this boy a hug and make sure he'd live happily for the rest of his days. And DaoShi was the perfect man for him... without him being perfect. DaoShi has his own -very real- problems, and the way he (doesn't) face them was probably one of the things I liked the most.

The fights were so real, and so was the mechanism of denial that made DaoShi turn defensive whenever his eating disorder was mentioned. The author didn't shy away from showing how these mechanism can affect a relationship and how painful it is to be with someone who needs help and doesn't want to be helped.

I was glued to the page, devouring this book and wondering if they'd find a way to overcome everything, meet halfway and work it out. But I'm not going to spoil the ending here, so please, please, please go read this book!

[Tashyka · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful

This is probably the best book I've read so far in 2021. This book dealt with a lot of issues including domestic violence, anorexia, suicide. This book made me cry, get angry, swoon. There was so much love between the characters. if anybody reads this review, do yourselves a favor and go check this book out; you won't regret it. This was my first book by this author and it won't be the last.

[Esme Carmichael · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Danseur" is beautiful. There's no other way to describe it. Equally heartbreaking and heartwarming; characters to love, to root for, and to shed tears for.

Jai and DaoShi's blossoming relationship is slow-burn, steamy and sensual. Like, you know these characters are head over heels for each other, but it's the emotional rawness of their relationship that really spoke to me. The way care for each other, want to help each other no matter what, made me fall in love with them too: two souls who, after a series of events pushes them together, completely save each other. Miranda's writing is intense and I particularly liked how the explicit scenes in the book heightened their emotional bond, rather than the other way around. Make no mistake, this is a steamy book, but it's first and foremost an emotional rollercoaster that pulls at the heartstrings first. These characters are so human, and so incredibly real.

Highly recommend.

[Selena Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A novel of healing and destruction. Love was abundant throughout this novel, that much was clear, and I swore my heart broke in two at one point in the story. All of those emotions from Ruth’s characters, whether malignant or benign helped me to better understand their backstories and how they at one point were connected to one another.

Meeting Jai, at first, I had the impression that he had both internal and external wounds that were threatening to break him indefinitely. But upon meeting DaoShi, while those wounds opened up, there was a moment of vulnerability which allowed him to heal.

The same with DaoShi. But I did not expect the overwhelming emotions from his character, how vulnerable he truly was. I loved it all. I loved the progression of love throughout this novel, how the backstories were dealt and used for the characters to face themselves and one another.

This novel definitely did have me sobbing towards the end and I will gladly be reading it again.❤️❤️❤️

I do appreciate the content warnings that Ruth provided in the start in the novel as it helped me better prepare myself when reading the story. I would recommend anyone to read them before you start the story.

And I would absolutely and highly recommend this novel to anyone, and I only wish I read it sooner! As to who the true danseur of the story is, I agree with Ruth that both protagonists fulfill the role very well. 😊

[Sarah Wibrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Miranda has found the perfect balance between pain and joy when it comes to love and romance. It is beautifully written, with tough uncompromising realism which makes the passion all the more powerfully evocative 🔥🔥🔥

The book is written from the first person POV, each chapter alternating between the two main characters. As the reader you have access to their inner thought process as they try to work out what’s happening between them. As an outsider with all this inside knowledge, it was frustrating but exciting as you watched everything unfold.

Then of course there was the back story which the author revealed gradually.

The suspense was driving me mad and I struggled to put the book down and just wanted to continue on! When I was very near the end I forced myself to leave it so I could hold onto the story for just one more day 😢

I loved both these characters but Jai was my favourite and I was rooting for his happiness and felt so protective towards him.

This story was heartbreaking and raw with some very dark moments. But there was also such tenderness, that you couldn't fail to fall in love with this book.

I have read so many amazing books recently. This one too is definitely a five star read.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Sherry Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

DANSEUR BY Ruth Miranda @ruth_miranda
Danseur is a passionate and complicated love story between two endearing men. It is complicated, because their separate hurts are deep and take awhile to emerge, for both the reader and for the lovers. But these two men are made for each other. It is a story of healing and they have the potential to help each other heal. It is a story in which the demons of both men need to be faced, within each’s soul and by each other, if the relationship is to survive. It is about romantic love becoming much more than that; becoming real love, love with empathy and depth. This is the first in the MM genre that I have read and Ms. Miranda writes beautifully about this relationship. It is an adult book, dealing with some difficult subjects, such as eating disorders, abuse and depression, but done sensitively and with poetry by the author. This book is character driven and all about resolving conflict and loving another human being. Yes, it is filled with passion, several quite explicit sex scenes, and drama, but the end game of this tale is actually mature love. It is a psychological portrait of love.

[Caroline Noe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jai decides to rent out the house he shared with his late husband and is shocked to discover his new tenant is ballet and tv star DaoShi, hiding from the recent betrayal of his fiancee and best friend.

They have little in common, except the love of dance, yet each finds the other fascinating. But layer upon layer of deep trauma lurks beneath the surface.

Ok, so I'll start with the warnings: sexual content, suicide ideation, abuse, eating disorder and prejudice.

Yikes I hear you mutter, but no, you'd be wrong. Despite traumatic and explicit content there's something immensely gentle and poignant about the love affair between these two wounded men. I think those who have ever suffered trauma long for their Jai or DaoShi. Someone who peels back the layers and exposes the ice cold void to the warmth of the sun.

Granted it might not be for everyone, but Ruth Miranda's writing has a depth rarely discovered and deserves an audience who would hear the cry in her voice.

[Barbara Strickland · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very thoughtful read

The book delved into some painful areas including rape however the main premise was about love. Not just romance as such but more about how loving someone can override what you have assumed are your preferences. Sometimes it is about loving for the qualities you don’t even know you were looking for. Qualities often developed because of things life may throw at you.
Very much enjoyed this but often the points of view were confusing and it was a little difficult to realise who was the speaker. However overall a very thoughtful and enjoyable read.

[Kastie Pavlik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn. This may be the best book Ruth Miranda has written yet. These characters are so real and the rawness of emotion is palpable. She still takes us down a rabbit hole to dark, violent places, but there's a lightness that's quick to return. We get a touch that clenches the stomach, catches the breath, but she doesn't leave us to dwell there. Unlike most of her "damaged" characters, Jai, especially, shows a resiliency against his trauma. When we meet him, he's been picking up the pieces and moving on, and though he is an emotional character, as we learn more about him, we see the fight in him and more growth. I believe he grows into himself more than DaoShi does. DaoShi is a man facing a different set of difficulties with a rosier past than Jai. However, we cannot underestimate the courage it takes to question one's sexual orientation and accept that it isn't what it seemed to be, nor the cultural shame and life changing consequences. I love that throughout his journey, he's confused and questioning, but he's also tuned to his body and emotions and feels what he feels. I love that these characters are broken, but reside in places where they want to grow. There are obstacles and breakdowns along the way, of course. Things that threaten their futures from within and without. And it all feels so real. For the most part, the section breaks denote a switch in character POV. There are a few spots where it doesn't and it may take a few sentences to figure out whose head we're in, but it wasn't enough to pull me out of the story. If I was a faster reader, I would've read this in one sitting. I read the majority of it in one night. I couldn't put it down. It's honestly damn near perfect for me. Love is love.

Notes as I read:
@ 17.0% "Loving the natural flow of emotions as Jai and DaoShi establish an uncertain rapport. Usually in BL with an established gay man and a seemingly straight man, a narrative of "wrongness" takes away from the story. But there is none of that so far, which lends to a credible and believable questioning, especially given the cultural aspect. And that mirrors Jai's journey of self discovery and identity, as well."

@ 76.0% "Hot damn. These two are so cute together, and in this sitting, they've melted my heart, clenched my stomach, made me laugh, and gutted me to tears. I love them."