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The Mystery of Marriage: A Fellowship of Love
The Mystery of A Fellowship of Love by Hieromonk Gregorios, Elder of the Cell of St. John the Theologian, Koutloumousiou Monastery, Mount Athos. Trim 10.5x17cm, 72pp. This book examines, on the basis of Holy Scripture and the writing of the Holy Fathers of the Church, the Orthodox understanding of the Sacrament of Marriage. In addition to explaining the sacrament itself, Hieromonk Gregorios spends considerable time on the spousal relationship, both prior to and after the marriage, with a view to helping couples understand how to establish a strong and lasting bond of love under the lordship of Jesus Christ.
72 pages, Paperback
First published December 5, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 20, 2024
Beautiful introduction to the Orthodox Church’s teachings on marriage!
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May 15, 2021Why take up a book on marriage written by a monk? Hieromonk Gregorios opens his slim book with an apology of sorts to the married clergy who have “themselves personally experienced the mystery of marriage” and are, he feels, the most competent to advise others on the subject. Gregorios is moved to write, however, due to his experience with married couples as a spiritual father and confessor, meaning he has heard a lot about mistakes, shortcomings, and failures and prescribed the way back to soundness and manifest love.
He makes no bones about what he sees in dealing with marriages. Many are not healthy, not grounded in Christian spirit or an understanding of what marriage means within the Church. The laxness of the parental example of selfless love for the spouse provides no model for their children’s vision of marriage. For the young couples coming to be married, their lack of formation in church makes for a trite understanding: less of a sacrament, more of a social event. Society’s almost universal acceptance of pre-marital sex combines with the trend toward marriage much later in life to create a situation where the couple contemplating marriage has no sense of a past in need of repentance. Gregorius is able to matter-of-factly point out the poverty in these situations, he’s no sour-faced finger wagger. He shows that even in the time of Chrysostom, there were similar issues and concerns.
As he lays out the weaknesses, he also upholds the strengths side-by-side. There is a Christian ideal worth abiding in, one that is, in fact, within our grasp.
"At the celebration of the mystery of marriage the bridal pair receive the blessing and the grace of Christ. Through the power of this spiritual armament, the couple is invited to enter the sea of life and overcome every difficulty which they will encounter in their journey together in the virtue of love. In authentically Christian families- which are becoming quite rare these days but fortunately still exist – love and harmony reign. Children in such families are the fruit of love of the parents and the source of their joy; and the fullness of love in which the children were born and raised provides them with all of the spiritual prerequisites for their future life." (56)
Who should read this book? Certainly a couple in a parish’s marriage preparation sessions, but many will have already fallen prey to worldly norms and expectations and may not have ears to hear. Perhaps this is really a book for the oldest teens in the last semester of church school, something honest and challenging to wrestle with. They need to hear the Word of the Church in an adult and dynamic way. They must understand that the Church does have a “grace-full” answer to the world and challenges its members to embrace that grace.
He makes no bones about what he sees in dealing with marriages. Many are not healthy, not grounded in Christian spirit or an understanding of what marriage means within the Church. The laxness of the parental example of selfless love for the spouse provides no model for their children’s vision of marriage. For the young couples coming to be married, their lack of formation in church makes for a trite understanding: less of a sacrament, more of a social event. Society’s almost universal acceptance of pre-marital sex combines with the trend toward marriage much later in life to create a situation where the couple contemplating marriage has no sense of a past in need of repentance. Gregorius is able to matter-of-factly point out the poverty in these situations, he’s no sour-faced finger wagger. He shows that even in the time of Chrysostom, there were similar issues and concerns.
As he lays out the weaknesses, he also upholds the strengths side-by-side. There is a Christian ideal worth abiding in, one that is, in fact, within our grasp.
"At the celebration of the mystery of marriage the bridal pair receive the blessing and the grace of Christ. Through the power of this spiritual armament, the couple is invited to enter the sea of life and overcome every difficulty which they will encounter in their journey together in the virtue of love. In authentically Christian families- which are becoming quite rare these days but fortunately still exist – love and harmony reign. Children in such families are the fruit of love of the parents and the source of their joy; and the fullness of love in which the children were born and raised provides them with all of the spiritual prerequisites for their future life." (56)
Who should read this book? Certainly a couple in a parish’s marriage preparation sessions, but many will have already fallen prey to worldly norms and expectations and may not have ears to hear. Perhaps this is really a book for the oldest teens in the last semester of church school, something honest and challenging to wrestle with. They need to hear the Word of the Church in an adult and dynamic way. They must understand that the Church does have a “grace-full” answer to the world and challenges its members to embrace that grace.
August 17, 2023
3.5 stars rounded up
I think this book does a great job preparing a couple for marriage or setting the tone for a newly married couple.
I was hoping for a bit of help/ideas for couples who have been together longer. He assumes each member of the couple was raised and grew up a certain way when that is rarely the case.
I also felt there might be a part where he seems to say people should put up with abuse in a marriage. If a person is willing to work on it, maybe, but if a person is violent or cruel, I don’t think that means we need to keep in that position…
I did find a lot of joy in the book, though, and excellent reminders of what marriage is and should be. I wish I’d had this resource prior to my marriage and in the beginning!
I think this book does a great job preparing a couple for marriage or setting the tone for a newly married couple.
I was hoping for a bit of help/ideas for couples who have been together longer. He assumes each member of the couple was raised and grew up a certain way when that is rarely the case.
I also felt there might be a part where he seems to say people should put up with abuse in a marriage. If a person is willing to work on it, maybe, but if a person is violent or cruel, I don’t think that means we need to keep in that position…
I did find a lot of joy in the book, though, and excellent reminders of what marriage is and should be. I wish I’d had this resource prior to my marriage and in the beginning!
October 27, 2021
I think that this can be a fruitful read for married couples, especially newlyweds, although there are some frustratingly uncritical passages in the beginning. Specifically, I think Gregorios underestimates (or at least underrepresents) the fact that motivation for action is almost always mixed, and so marriage cannot be the absolute determiner of whether a performance of the conjugal act is entirely selfish or entirely generous. But his arguments will probably be effective enough for anyone who sincerely desires the good.
November 15, 2022
This delightful little book pulls on material from St. John Chrysostom, St. Paisios, and others to offer simple yet insightful comments about the mystery of marriage. It helped round out my Orthodox understanding of marriage, and is probably a primer to Chrysostom's works on the subject.
December 19, 2024
I'm not married, or close to being married, but I was curious about the sacrament and especially curious of a proper mindset while seeking marriage and Christian love. This work offered both with a concise and pastoral approach
May 6, 2017
The series of works by Hieromonk Gregorios of Koutloumousiou monastery on Mount Athos are very spiritually edifying. This is a book I'll revisit.
February 24, 2022
In some aspects more applicable than St. John Chrysostom’s counterpart.
June 15, 2022
Excellent advice that covers a wide breadth of topics, and provides fulfilling guidance on each one. Nothing feelings superfluous and the book can be read in a single sitting.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews