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Beyond the Birth Plan
- GenresParenting
392 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2020
6 people are currently reading
108 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
August 6, 2025
The book was not meant for me.
Probably the author's goal was to empower women on their journey of giving birth, to give them confidence in their own potential and strength - which is a great mission and an incredibly important message.
However - for me personally - the message didn't land. Here's why.
- The author tries to keep it objective, but is obviously very critical about medicated and assisted births. If a woman opts for an epidural, it's because she gave up or was conditioned to do so. She even says that it's unfeminist to avoid natural unmedicated birth.
- Every story the author tells about giving birth with a help of vacuum, forceps or through CS the mother feel like a failure afterwards. As if feeling it is the only reasonable or expected reaction to "assisted birth".
- According to the book, not only does this woman put her child in danger and behinders her own physical recovery by opting for an epidural, but she is also missing out on the huge psychological benefits of going through unmedicated birth, letting go of past traumas and reincarnating as a Woman.
-At the same time things might go south during birth if you don't do it right - which only means unmedicated and with a hired doula by your side. So, instead of healing, the past traumas might ruin the birth experience and make you miserable.
The author writes in detail about every thought or issue that can prevent you from relaxing and giving birth. The list includes everything: patriarchal pressure, toxic relationship, family dynamic issues, unhealthy attachment style, survivng sexual assults - e v e r y t h i n g.
I have all of the above in my background and have been working through them for years. Still, this book made me feel devastated, useless and helpless.
===
This is rich! First devaluate and demonize the medical system and give women a sense that they have to only rely on themselves. Then tell these women in 300 triggering pages how they probably won't be able to rely on themselves because of their life experience. And then tell them that only with help of a doula, or a paid midwife and only on their terms will you have a chance for a positive birthing experience.
Wow.
Probably the author's goal was to empower women on their journey of giving birth, to give them confidence in their own potential and strength - which is a great mission and an incredibly important message.
However - for me personally - the message didn't land. Here's why.
- The author tries to keep it objective, but is obviously very critical about medicated and assisted births. If a woman opts for an epidural, it's because she gave up or was conditioned to do so. She even says that it's unfeminist to avoid natural unmedicated birth.
- Every story the author tells about giving birth with a help of vacuum, forceps or through CS the mother feel like a failure afterwards. As if feeling it is the only reasonable or expected reaction to "assisted birth".
- According to the book, not only does this woman put her child in danger and behinders her own physical recovery by opting for an epidural, but she is also missing out on the huge psychological benefits of going through unmedicated birth, letting go of past traumas and reincarnating as a Woman.
-At the same time things might go south during birth if you don't do it right - which only means unmedicated and with a hired doula by your side. So, instead of healing, the past traumas might ruin the birth experience and make you miserable.
The author writes in detail about every thought or issue that can prevent you from relaxing and giving birth. The list includes everything: patriarchal pressure, toxic relationship, family dynamic issues, unhealthy attachment style, survivng sexual assults - e v e r y t h i n g.
I have all of the above in my background and have been working through them for years. Still, this book made me feel devastated, useless and helpless.
===
This is rich! First devaluate and demonize the medical system and give women a sense that they have to only rely on themselves. Then tell these women in 300 triggering pages how they probably won't be able to rely on themselves because of their life experience. And then tell them that only with help of a doula, or a paid midwife and only on their terms will you have a chance for a positive birthing experience.
Wow.
February 8, 2025
3.5
Bit repetitive at times but had some important points about how to mentally prepare for labour. Normal physiological birth focused.
Bit repetitive at times but had some important points about how to mentally prepare for labour. Normal physiological birth focused.
January 2, 2023
I’m happy I read this book, especially preparing for my second birth. It looked at all the things that can impact your birth experience, some of which I hadn’t considered. I enjoyed that it was dotted with real life birth stories throughout (as Sarah Buckley’s and Ina May Gaskin’s books are). I feel that this book reminded me of the elements of my first birth that made it so positive. I’m looking forward to going into my second birth ready to advocate for myself and my baby more, both during birth and in early post partum.
I gave this book 4 stars because I would like to read a birth book that told more positive stories of inductions and/or caesareans. I felt that the stories told in this book were often negative and warning of the cascade of interventions (which I have found in a lot of the books I have read in my pregnancies).
I gave this book 4 stars because I would like to read a birth book that told more positive stories of inductions and/or caesareans. I felt that the stories told in this book were often negative and warning of the cascade of interventions (which I have found in a lot of the books I have read in my pregnancies).
April 28, 2025
4.5 - very helpful perspective which focusses on pre-existing mental health issues/ themes and is written with so much wisdom and experience. It is a little negative on some birthing situations which some women can't help and providing some more strategies for women to feel like they can resolve some issues could have been even more empowering.
March 14, 2023
Much less judgemental than Dempsey’s first book. Some of it felt a little repetitive, but again I got some helpful information from this book as someone who would like to have a low intervention birth. Needs to be read with a grain of salt though.
January 9, 2024
Helpful information, however found the style of writing a bit hard to read.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews