Pregnant Then Screwed

by Joeli Brearley

Imagine suddenly being sacked from your job. After spending years building your career, it's all taken away in just one moment. Why? Because you told your boss you are pregnant.

This happened to Joeli Brearley. And she quickly realised she wasn't alone - 54,000 women a year are forced out of their job because they dared to procreate, and three quarters of working mothers face workplace discrimination. And this was before the pandemic, with its never-ending cycle of extraordinary childcare challenges and overt pregnancy and maternity discrimination, resulting in a tsumani of mothers exiting the labour force.

Pregnant Then Screwed is an exposé of the unscrupulous work practices and antiquated systems that we've been conditioned to accept and a toolkit for how to challenge them. It's full of practical advice to help you navigate systemic barriers when they slap you in the face.

Whether you're a mother who is sick of being sidelined, undermined, and underpaid; a ''stay at home'' mother who wants to work but can't; a future parent who is scared that having children will affect your career; an employer who wants to get the best out of its parent employees; or you simply want a stronger, fairer economy, Pregnant Then Screwed is a compelling manifesto for change and a call to arms for all women.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Parenting, Womens, Politics, Business, Audiobook

368 pages, Hardcover

First published March 4, 2021

Reviews

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve needed to really will myself write a review that was more than: “READ THIS BOOK! READ THIS BOOK! READTHISBOOK! READTHISAAAARRGHHHHZPRNSGQITNDGSISNN!!!!”

*deep breath*

Brearley is some kind of mind-reader. She has been poking around inside my head and articulated so many frustrations that have been swilling around in there for the last 3 and a half years.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it took me getting pregnant and becoming a mother to realise the numerous discriminations that mothers and new parents face, and I’m frustrated to think that many people may dismiss this book because they feel it’s not relevant to them, assuming it is relevant only to new/soon to be mums.

If you only take away one thing from this review, let it be this: The messages in this book are relevant to every human on the planet, and the sooner people become aware of these deeply ingrained biases that parents (mainly new mums) face the better.

Altered mindsets could literally be life changing for 81% of women (those who will have a child before the age of 45), their partners, and bring about a new normal for the next generation where gender equality is completely natural.

I know, I know, you’re not a parent, or you’re not thinking of becoming a parent- so how is it relevant? Well, I’m willing to bet my left foot on the fact that you know someone who is a parent, or will be a parent. You may work with someone who is affected, you may live with someone who is affected, heck- your own parents were probably affected.

Brearley tackles so much more than just pregnancy discrimination. She articulately covers how so many other elements tie in to maternity discrimination: sexism, racism, misogyny, disability discrimination, employment law, workplace standards, gender equality, legal system injustices, mental health, the economy.

Reading this book really hit home with me (as you might have thus far gathered by my long and gushing review). I faced my own battle with maternity discrimination which left me feeling humiliated, worthless, furious, helpless, and ultimately; jobless. Why? Because I dared to use my uterus to procreate. Because I did the most natural thing in the world. The thing that is the reason we are all alive today.

It is happening to thousands of women right now.
In the UK alone, 54,000 women a year lose their job because of pregnancy.
77% of pregnant women said they experienced some form of discriminatory behaviour.
Worst of all? The numbers are rapidly increasing.

I’ll stop rambling now. But please read this book. Please.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Firmly keeping my eggs unfertilised until the government sees sense (or I can move to a Scandinavian country).

"We've forced our childbearing hips into pairs of corporate trousers that were never designed for us, and, quite frankly, it has given us thrush."

10/10

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a shame that people who need to know this information don't usually read these books.

[Leanne Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never has a book filled me with so much rage and hope.
Everyone needs to read this book and then go into action mode.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would love for everyone I know to read this book.
As someone who doesn't have any children but would like to have them in the future, this just makes me feel so angry and frustrated. It's scary to see all of the sacrifices mothers have to make and there are so many things that could be done to eliminate these things and it's just not being done. I don't get it!
Please read this, learn what you can do to help, or at least learn to understand the system we're currently living under that penalises women for daring to procreate.

[Warren Seddon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fairly recent father this resonated with me a lot but in truth this is must read for anyone. Insightful statistics and some real food for thought on changes that could be made to improve the employment system as a whole to support families of all types, as well as the economy at large, even if I’m sure there’s a lot of argument over the detail of some of those. Some of the stories of what people have gone through are painful to read but important they are told. Highly recommended.

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't read this yet but why wait, I know it's going to be 5 stars! Joeli is our leader! She is the superstar fighting for mums when the world is set against us. She is hilarious, inspiring and fierce in the same speech so I know this book if going to be amazing. I don't care what your gender or parenting status is. If you were born from a woman's body, then go and order this book now.

[Suzanne Wilkinson-McKay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book. My children are grown up now but I can see that, although I didn’t pay as high a price for having children as some of the mothers in this book did, I was certainly subject to the motherhood penalty. Two examples:
1. My husband, and father of my two boys was a mental health nurse, as was I. He always earned more than me, despite often being on a lower pay grade, because he could work weekends and nights, whereas I had to work Mon-Fri 9-5 (and often fewer days than this) so I could do the nursery/school run and the other domestic chores.
Having said that, my husband was an amazing Dad and put his heart and soul into looking after his lads. Which brings me to:
2. He died when I was 42 and my children were 10&14. I was penalised at work for having time off sick when I was grieving and trying to support my boys through the trauma of the sudden loss of their Dad. I was given notice that I would be subject to a disciplinary process if I had any more time off. At this point, my boys were struggling at school and we were all broken. In the end, I took advantage of the unpaid year out to care for my children and fully intended to return after the year. I can’t say that my manager made it difficult for me to return, in fact, they were very flexible in what they could offer me. However, a year (two years since my husband’s death) was still not enough time and I very reluctantly resigned. It broke my heart, because I loved my career. But my boys had to come first.
Thank you, Joeli, for your ruthlessly researched and wonderfully written book. I fumed all the way through.

[Stacy Ma · Rating 4 out of 5]

What kind of society constantly penalises women for daring to procreate..

[Keely · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no interest in having kids nor getting pregnant. But I do have people around me starting families that I want to help support and see if this had any advice I could pass on. Well, this had tonnes of advice. If you're planning on starting a family, I would reccomend reading this so you're more up to date with the laws and what you are entitled to. It's easy accessible. And lays out options you could take clearly. It also helped me understand the issues around what happens when people start their families and what hardships they might have to face.

It also makes clear why so many women drop out of the job market as childcare costs are impossible to cover. For a lot of people, it's cheaper to stay at home and damage their career progression. Sometimes career progression is just damaged by being a women in your fertile years or getting pregnant triggers it. Some of the stories of what people go through is disgusting. While some may argue the world is overpopulated, the birth rate has been dropping for ovee 50 years and we need hunans to be born to keep the world ticking over in the future. That and immigration will help to build a society that works well. We will need people to take care of an aging population. We are living longer and longer. So while I don't want kids, I think there should be more access to help for parents, especially ones that cannot cope on a single wage, therefore both people work. Most people have to rely/take advantage of their families to stay in work and that shouldn't be a thing. Childcare should be paid well, as it is a very important job, but I think there should be subsidiaries to help with the cost. We should want women to stay in work, women in work is a big plus for a multitude of reasons but some of them can't afford childcare, therefore have no option but to leave the workforce.

Anyway, read if you're UK based and are planning on starting a family.

[Stella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do not read this until at least 4 months post-partum.

I didn't follow this advice myself and found myself having lots of sleep-deprived and delirious cries in the bath. I did have to take breaks in between, as I needed to calm down. I feel like a lot of people who will pick up this book will be pregnant women or recent mothers. I would recommend this book to absolutely EVERYONE, whether you have kids, don't ever want children, whether you are an employer or an employee. Especially an employer.

I don't think I ever properly understood just how much the system in the UK has been made to fail working mothers. The biases that work against us and negatively affect us in the workplace are often invisible. There is also a very enlightening chapter that highlights how this system also negatively effects fathers. Lack of fair parental leave, lack of access to childcare, inflexible working hours, and an entire system that seems to want working mothers to fail - these are all issues that Brearley is able to cover in an accessible and easily digestible way. Well, once I was done being angry, that is.

In many ways, this book reminded me of the equally enlightening and brilliant book Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez. If you enjoyed Invisible Women, you will love this one too.

[O* · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly interesting book which comes across as if it has been written in a frenzy without much coordination. Great advice for women in this situation!

However, and this is a big however: I cannot the statistics and information in it. On page 160 (in the hard copy), Brearley claims that childcare workers 'are very highly regarded by the Swedes' -hmm, I wouldn't sign that statement; it is a professional qualfication for many, but many childcare workers are still doing that job for lack of other jobs with no or very little education. Brearley goes on to state that 'the lowest-ranking person in a Swedish childcare setting is paid 68,800 SEK per month, which works out at about £5,600'.

This is blatantly untrue. I checked the source for this that Brearley claims to have used, and I cannot find this figure there either. But anyone with minimal knowledge of Sweden would know that this is sooo wrong. The median salary in Sweden (2025) is listed as around 37,000 SEK per month by the National Statistics equivalent. The idea that 'the lowest paid childcare worker' would get almost double that is absolutely laughable.

It really spoiled the facts in the book since I cannot trust it (and I haven't got the energy to check every source).

So, intersting at times and good information about where UK people can get advice, but don't trust any other facts or stats.

[Bee · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a great need to politicise motherhood (and parenthood generally) and place it with the wider class related issues. I also believe the society would benefit from a fact-based debate in which the assumptions about the role of the mother and the other parent are discussed and more communal methods of childrearing are proposed.
The writer makes her case through facts, studies, findings and anecdotes for a better employment market and environment for mothers and mothers-to-be. However, I do believe the existing situation and conditions are a natural result of savage capitalism and undoing them might prove to be impossible without challenging the liberal economical and social systems.
This book might sound very UK-centered however there is enough talk about other countries and possible ways of bettering the existing systems that women, pregnant women as well as employers and other parents would benefit from reading it. In fact, I think all adults should read such fact based books about women’s issues where liberal/lean-in/choice feminism has left untouched, if not aggravated due to some idiotics notions.

[Emily Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I entered my third trimester, a very good friend of mine handed me this book. I didn’t have any intentions of reading any mum-to-be books as I plan to muddle through parenting for the first time with my oak tree of a husband, and hope for the best, but Pregnant Then Screwed hit home in so many ways that I’d recommend it to anyone looking to start a family or who already has kids or any conscientious employer or friend to read.

There’s so much to think about when starting a family. For me, I hope to be a good mum while holding down a fulfilling career that I’ve spent over 10 years building, and both of us to work to work from home more to accommodate childcare timings. We need a dual income to afford where we live and the eye-watering expense of a local nursery in a society that isn’t geared up to support families. Both sets of parents work full time and live 60 or 150 miles away so it’s all a bit of a challenge as we don’t have any close friends or family round the corner for regular help. It’s just us and Montessori. We hope to raise our son to be a kind and thoughtful human. Wish us luck!

[Preesha Balan · Rating 4 out of 5]

As described by the author, this book is born out of anger. And it is a completely justified feeling when you face unreasonable things from your employer when you are most vulnerable. Unfortunately, it is a very common thing that happens in our so called ‘ modern society’ which apparently focuses on female empowerment!
This book gives a very good overall picture of how complicated and unsupportive our societal structure is for mothers and young families in general. The issue is complex, the answers are difficult, but the book describes the possible solutions to many of these very well towards the end. I am a mother of two (8 yrs and 3 yrs) and I have, and am going through most of the issues discussed by the author in the book. I wish I had found such perspective to these issues early in my motherhood journey rather than having had accepted it as a norm and convincing myself that ‘it happens with everybody !’ Although the present situation is quite bleak related to this issue, we can all bring a change by atleast openly speaking about it rather that pushing it under the carpet.

[Hazel Boyson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love your work Joeli. this is everything I was hoping for and more

Thank you Joeli, for gathering data, sharing women’s stories (good and bad), supporting working mothers by highlighting the mountains of discrimination and systemic bias we have to wade through in the workplace. For the tireless campaigning, advice and general laughs you provide through all your content. My husband says I mention the patriarchy on average 3times a day, that will only increase now I am armed with all the extra knowledge gained from reading the motherhood penalty.
I’ve loved the book almost as much as I loved and was grateful for your covid-pregnancy webinar with scientists and data driven advice on covid as a scared pregnant woman in early 2021. Thank you. x

[Book Friend Pola · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was by far the oldest unread book on my shelf.
The subject is just too close to home. As a mom with a ruined career, I dreaded even occasionally looking at this title, just being there, patiently waiting years on my TBR.
I'm happy I finally came to the place where I had enough strength to read about this problem through a wider lens. The read was emotional and informative.
The parts very specific to the UK were horrifying and depressing. As neither British nor American I was more interested in examples from around the world. I also wish intersectionality was mentioned even more. Other than those things, this book fairly represents one of the most important topics for the next wave of feminism.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Motherhood Penalty is NOT JUST FOR MOTHERS or pregnant women. Politicians, MEN, employers — I implore you to read this, sympathise with all the stories inside it, and take note of the data. Pregnancy and maternity discrimination is an incredibly important (and consequential!) issue yet chronically under-discussed.

Misogyny is still rampant and Joeli Brearley makes a clear case for how UK (but also worldwide) social structures work against women and why it’s better for literally everyone if we work to stop this. Pregnant Then Screwed seems like an amazing support that probably not enough people know about!

It does make me scared to have kids

[Becky O Clough · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really important read for everyone - not just expectant or new Mums!

The book is very well researched and written in a very accessible style that demystifies the jargon and gets right to the heart of the issue.

This book, whilst making me feel incredibly frustrated by the way the system is for women and parents in general, has given me hope that together we can create a society that is fairer for everyone!

[Ceri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this out to listen to on audible as I thought it would be relevant to my current personal circumstances (on maternity leave).

It was a really interesting and quite witty insight into women’s rights when pregnant, on maternity leave, issues surrounding childcare, breastfeeding etc.

At times it did feel a bit repetitive but overall I felt it was well researched and I learnt from it.

[Jolien · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book thought me a lot about the forces that work against pregnant people that cause such a large paygap and why mother's often work part time etc etc. However, strap in for a lot of anger rants that are very UK - centered and note that I could not fully relate as I am currently not pregnant but wanted to do some self-education on the topic.

[Hayley Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down one of the best and most infuriating books I have ever read!

Everyone needs to read this, male, female, employers, employees the list is endless.

I’ll be buying all of my friends a copy.

[Imogen Vasey Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly important book about gender inequality and maternity discrimination in the UK before/during (and beyond) the pandemic. Beautifully written with funny anecdotes and poignant quotations from real mums (and dads). Please read it. Everyone should!

[F E Ryder · Rating 5 out of 5]

very good, thanks to the author for writing this

A good read albeit saddening that it needed to be written. As I read this, I myself going through the turmoil of discrimination, found comfort to know that I’m not alone and hoping that someday things will get better.

[Thea Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly informative, eye opening and quite frankly unsurprising. An easy and empowering read.

[Alice Little · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well argued. Made me feel very cross at the situation!

[Jessica Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this book!

[Emily-Jane Chapman-Wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would highly recommend everyone reads this. In depth look at how pregnancy, maternity and parenting discrimination happens to so many people.

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was already furious and now I’m steaming at the ears.