The New Well-Tempered Sentence: A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed

by Karen Elizabeth Gordon

For over a decade The New Well-Tempered Sentence has provided instruction and pleasure to the wariest student and the most punctilious scholar alike. Now Karen Elizabeth Gordon has revised and enlarged her classic handbook with fuller explanations of the rules of punctuation, additional whimsical graphics, and further character development and drama -- all the while redeeming punctuation from the perils of boredom. For anyone who has despaired of opening a punctuation handbook (but whose sentences despair without one), The New Well-Tempered Sentence will teach you clearly and simply where to place a comma and how to use an apostrophe. And as you master the elusive slashes, dots, and dashes that give expression to our most perplexing thoughts, you will find yourself in the grip of a bizarre and beguiling comedy of manners. Long-time fans will delight in the further intrigues of cover girl Loona, the duke and duchess, and the mysterious Rosie and Nimrod. The New Well-Tempered Sentence is sure to entertain while teaching you everything you want to know about punctuation. Never before has punctuation been so much fun!

Genres: Writing, Nonfiction, Reference, Language, Humor, Crafts, Linguistics

148 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1983

About the author

Karen Elizabeth Gordon, who is most well-known for her comic language handbooks The New Well-Tempered Sentence and The Deluxe Transitive Vampire, is also author to a collection of short stories published by Dalkey Archive Press. The Red Shoes and Other Tattered Tales was hailed by many critics as Rabelaisian in its humor.

Gordon resides alternately in Berkeley, California and Paris.

from http://www.dalkeyarchive.com/catalog/...

Reviews

[Kelly (Maybedog) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read grammar and punctuation books every few years just to make sure I'm current and haven't taken up some weird habit without knowing it. So most books are a fast read for me and easy to understand. There are generally only a couple of places where I go, "oh, I didn't know that" or "oh, that's why that is." In this instance, while the idea of this book is entertaining, the execution is not so good because even I, in places, had to think twice before I understood an example.

The reason is that most of these examples are so absurd and convoluted they are difficult to follow. Technically Gordon provides excellent categories and explanations but the humor is exactly the same throughout; a majority of the examples talk about death and doom and a pseudo-Victorian world of disaster and mayhem and the rest just absurd sentences that take time to parse. This puts the focus on the subject of the sentence rather than on the punctuation where it belongs.

An example in the quotation marks chapter:
He said that for some other Christmas he'd give me a guide to safe sex with satyrs and centaurs, and a "going-places rocking horse."

Another in the dash section:
The Grim Reaper—that cosmopolitan gadabout—was cutting capers in the vestibule while a daffy dowager quaffed her Darjeeling and knocked back vermouth and schnapps.

I think a couple of examples were funny. A whole book was just obnoxious.

I did really like how the book is laid out with each chapter on a different punctuation mark. Then after a short introduction, bullets list each instance in which that mark is used and then is followed by examples. That's where we run into problems as I said before.

Other issues: There are places where the examples don't use the punctuation listed at all. A couple of times a bullet point illustrates a random irrelevant thing, like how the hyphen is used in German and French. She also uses 10 dollar words in her bullet points where an easier word would be better. There was at least one word I didn't know and I read all the time. Since an introductory grammar book would probably be most useful to people who aren't highly educated, that seems inappropriate and condescending.

[Seth T. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not by any means a grammar-Nazi.

I do enjoy the use of language in ways that convey meaning and intent both clearly and beautifully, but I'm not gonna make a big deal when someone uses a hyphen instead of an en dash when they say they work 8–5. I just can't see getting upset about something like that. I may pick on poor word-choice occasionally and come off more prescriptivist when it comes to vocabulary—but that's really just when it suits my needs.

Still, as a not-small portion of my job includes writing copy for the public and editing copy from others, it does indeed pay to know what's what. Especially where punctuation is concerned.

The New Well-Tempered Sentence is as close to being what I want in a book on punctuation. Easily discernible chapters, each exposing the numerous usage tics of the punctuative mark in question. Very brief descriptions of rules of usage followed by several lively examples. And funny illustrations (presumably pilfered from antiquarian sources). At 140-some pages, the book is lean and functional and makes it easy when I forget where the spaces go when ellipsizing. I could have probably used rules and examples for some of the more complex constructions I'm either handed or have a hand myself in constructing—but then the book wouldn't likely be 140-some pages and I don't think I could abide a 150-page version.

While the book rates high by me for its simplicity and brevity, one of the selling points is the scrumptious prose examples used to delineate usage. Here are a couple examples from the chapter on the Hyphen:

 ✽ A hyphen expresses hesitation or stuttering.
 "I'm d-d-delighted to see you again," 
 she stammered, barring his way into 
 the room with her big toe spread out 
 to its full size.

 ✽ A hyphen indicates the spelling out of words.
 "You are my darling, my d-a-r-l-i-n-g," 
 said the spelling master to his rapt 
 and evasive pupil as he opened her eyes 
 to a whole new lexicon of shame.

In any case, if you already have a book on punctuation then you are probably fine without Karen Elizabeth Gordon's; however, if you are in need, The New Well-Tempered Sentence will almost certainly fill that need. It may even delightfully expand the pages to your lexicon of shame.

[Jennifer]

This was my moms in Spring 1991 and she gave me her copy while downsizing her bookshelf. I’m reading the original version “The Well-Tempered Sentence” (not The New Well-Tempered Sentence) and I actually learned a lot!
It was cool to read the descriptions as to how sentences work and why the grammar works. I learned terms like “appositive” and learned some grammar rules like “Two identical words should be separated by a comma for easier reading. Ie. They came in, in pants.”
I also loved the images with captions. I want to rip the pages out and put them on my wall or tape them to a journal or something because they’re so cool.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

The grammar of punctuation is delved into fairly thoroughly here with eloquent and entertaining example sentences. Gems such as "We gave ourselves over to an interregnum of discord, mockery, and delight" [The Serial Comma] and "There is always room for improvement; moreover, in this case that's all the room there is" [The Semicolon] make what is often treated as the drudgery of learning proper composition into a book that's hard to put down, as well as a handy reference for when you need to double-check if an /em/ dash or an /en/ dash is more appropriate. There is no question that this should be mainstream'd into high school English composition curricula across the US. And even if you just need a brief refresher or want something fun to read, this should do the trick. It's a book that makes me want to write better—not just for its insight into various nuances of grammar, but also because of the wit and grace of its prose.

[Vincent · Rating 5 out of 5]

What was I doing reading this at 11:12 PM on the Red Line riding from the far north side to downtown Chicago? I was listening to a stranger, cellphone stuck to his head, use the worst English I've ever heard. This is what we call a perfect moment.

[Doug · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pithy pastiche on punctuation, not as entertaining as her sequel, The Transitive Vampire. I wonder if she’s still biting?

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great title. It really is.

The grammar discussion itself is a little mind-numbing and the example sentences are SO flamboyant and self-consciously lascivious as to totally distract the reader from the punctuation it purports to exemplify. I slightly lost my mind.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grammar stuff was okay, the examples and illustrations were what really made this book though. Where can I get a T-shirt with one of the images?

[Gabriella Batel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where does she come up with these wacky sentences? XD

[Ry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clever & helpful!

[Caleb Horowitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

My feelings regarding this book are rather mixed. Karen Elizabeth Gordon has a clear handle on her punctuation, and, for the most part, she conveys her grammar rules with clarity. But she also writes with a quirky energy that prevents the book from ever getting boring and falling into standard textbook trappings. This is a textbook that very much wants to be something else, something greater than. Most of the time, Gordon's attempts to spice up her punctuation lessons are relatively harmless and even make this a fun read. Occasionally, however, Gordon's need to inject a degree of quirk and self-absorbed wittiness into every sentence/example does more harm than good. Gordon frequently employs paragraph-long chunks of text filled with convoluted sentences just to make a single point about a comma buried somewhere in the middle. Sometimes her sentences come across as so nonsensical, the grammatical point is almost lost. For instance, in an explanation of parentheses, Gordon uses the following example sentence: "He's probably out there (in the waiting room) sitting in his own lap." Accompanying this is a picture of a man in an armchair in the middle of a tumultuous ocean. The parenthetical rule works, but it's obscured by the fact that the sentence in which it is embedded doesn't make any sense. Gordon does a great job of keeping her reader from growing bored, but she sometimes causes unnecessary confusion in the process. In fact, this book often reads like a book written for the extremely literary (and slightly pretentious) who likely have no need for a book on basic punctuation rules to begin with.

[Frances Sawaya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actually, I can't say that I have read this cover to cover, "per se." I have had it on my bookshelf for decades to use as a reference and, sometimes, to prove a point when I am confronted with glaring errors in English. Love the humor enclosed!

[Gen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty great guide with amusing examples.

[William · Rating 3 out of 5]

An innovative approach to teaching punctuation, but also a disingenuous one. "The innocent" are unlikely to improve their mastery from reading this. I found the statements of the punctuation rules in each chapter to be turgid and border on unintelligible. English professors might be able to use them, but hey, they don't need this. And while I am not an academic, I did not find any enlightenment in my own use of punctuation, though there were a few places where I disagreed with the text.

For me, this was, then, not a book about punctuation, but rather one intended to be humorous. It partially worked in that respect for me, but the approach got old since the style of joke was pretty
repetitious. I also did not get the point of the illustrations, unless they are meant to add an aura of Dada to the text.

Clearly, this book works well for many readers, and I have no objection to that, of course. For my part, I am grateful that it can be read in a day, since in the end it just did not seem the best use of my time.

[Peter A · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the subtitle suggestion, this is a book about !, ?, ., ,, :, :, -, --, “, I, ( ), [ ], /, ‘, and … . Put another way, this is a book about Exclamation Points, Question Marks, Periods, Commas, Semicolons, Colons, Hyphens, Dashes, Quotation Marks, Italics, Parentheses, Brackets, Slashes, Apostrophes, and Ellipses, all to support the sentence!

There is so much useful in this small book. Some of it I knew from using and reading, some of it ai used randomly depending on my mood, not again!

The book is full of examples for each instance of use.

A wonderful, and humorous, guide to punctuation. Who knew punctuation could be so much fun? But I am glad there are copy editors that do this for a living.

FB. A fun and useful guide to use of punctuation in the English language, and to help make a story more readable! A few days to read, but the lessons will take a lifetime of practice to master!

[Kathy KS]

Just couldn't get in to the format on this one. I wanted to learn more about correct punctuation, so I was prepared for pretty textbook-like format. Even quirky was fine.

This one goes beyond quirky. Yes, the examples are often extremely quirky; so much that I feel like I am not privy to some inside joke. But, there's not enough actual explanation of the examples. Just lots and lots of sentences without context. Plus, it's been so long since I actually took any grammar courses that I don't remember what all the clauses, etc. mean anymore. It would have been more useful if there were, at least, brief descriptions of any that are applicable to the examples.

The flow of the book just doesn't feel right or useful.

[Will L · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book about punctuation that is fun and literary. That sounds impossible, I know, but this is it. Forget Liz Truss and read this (yes, it's American, but for Britons many rules here still apply). Absent: pedant's intemperate ranting, intended to be endearing but really a bore; spasms of reactionary opinion, adding nothing to the topic at hand; anecdotes like 'when I was an editor at...', 'I once saw a grocer's sign that read...'; and un-amusing wordplay. Instead gothic microfiction liberally employed to demonstrate the rules expounded. Care and joy in language is shown throughout. Read this punctuation guide by someone who can really write.

[Nofar Spalter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was recommended by Ursula Le Guin and it's a decent book about punctuation. I wish that there were fewer examples and more insights in this guide: tips and ways to remember the various rules, general guidelines that connect the various rules, and a glossary of the different parts of speech mentioned. As it is, I wouldn't really recommend it to writers, unless you're the kind of writer that learns best from examples. I'd recommend reading the "Grammar Girl Quick and Dirty Tips" book instead.

[Meri · Rating 4 out of 5]

My only complaint, about this otherwise handy guide, is that some of the examples left me feeling distinctly lost. It's a tad off-putting to have to pause and look up the definitions of some "fancy pants" words. On the bright side, if you're looking to advance your vocabulary - and scare your friends - you'll definitely get along with this.

If you're anything like me, keep a dictionary on standby ;)

[Julie Capell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is quite a strange book. The introduction was so bizarre that I almost didn't read the rest of the book. But I am glad I did. It reaffirmed some punctuation points that I sometimes struggle with. But, as many others have noted, a lot of the examples are so strange that they are nearly unintelligible. I ended up reading the "rules" and skipping the explanations for the most part. I will keep this as a reference.

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding!!!! Especially if it's paired with the companion piece, The Deluxe Transitive Vampire.

Sometimes Gordon's examples read like bad poetry, but it's hilarious bad poetry.

I used this book (and Transitive Vampire) extensively when I was teaching to spice up the boring study of grammar.

This book is worth it just for the accompanying illustrations.

(OK, OK, this book is not for everyone, but if you're a word nerd, you'll enjoy it.)

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun times with punctuation, though this book is old enough that some of the so-called rules have shifted, and not enough attention is paid to the roles of power and privilege in shaping these rules. However, it is a whimsical and witty approach to how fundamental punctuation can be in effecting sense. Curious to compare this book to Pinker's Sense of Style.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great little punctuation book for everyone, from the skilled writer or editor who wants to verify or strengthen previous knowledge to the minimally experienced writer who wants to fathom the depths of commas, hyphens, semicolons, and more. This book is SO entertaining, you’ll find learning correct punctuation usage is pure fun.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

The perfect punctuation style guide to consult during the spooky season. All the weird woodcuts are fantastic and a lot of the example sentences had me dying. Like, "In utero her son-to-be sulked" is one of the funniest things I've ever read but it also illustrates how sometimes a comma is not used after short introductory adverbial phrases.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably about as fun as a manual on punctuation and grammar can be. That said, Gordon is definitely writing for us punctuation nerds. I doubt her esoteric humor would read well to many who would benefit most from her manual.

[Logan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for class. It is a guide to punctuation. Each chapter is divided by each punctuation item and then each use for it is listed with examples that are both odd and poetic. Nothing too special but interesting nonetheless.

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As entertaining as a book about punctuation can be. Definitely wish I had read it earlier in my writing journey. I do recommend reading a grammar book prior, however, as she uses a number of grammatical terms without deep explanation.

[S.D. Gibson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The examples in most punctuation handbooks are mind-numbing. Gordon's are interesting, funny, and may imply a narrative. They made reading the handbook very enjoyable.

[Xueyi Zhou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful punctuation book.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful examples abound.