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The (un)Lucky Sperm: Tales of My Bizarre Childhood - A Funny Memoir
Growing up in an isolated Australian mining town can make or break you. Especially, if you are different. The (un)Lucky Sperm is a funny memoir — a collection of honest, harrowing and absurd accounts.
Until he was seventeen, Brett Preiss lived in the dusty outback of Australia, where he was one of four siblings in a dysfunctional family. He learned how to survive under the most bizarre and extraordinary circumstances.
In this book, he shares the trials and tribulations of his youth through anecdotes that will leave you in tears of joy or sorrow. Travel back to the ’60s and ’70s and watch Brett transform from a sperm to adolescence. Follow him having his first piano lesson, first sewing machine, first kiss and first ejaculation.
The story is moving and disturbing, brutal yet hilarious. Cheer him along in his struggles and triumphs until he leaves the desert and heads off to college.
If you like stories full of sarcasm and observational humor, then you are going to love this book.
Until he was seventeen, Brett Preiss lived in the dusty outback of Australia, where he was one of four siblings in a dysfunctional family. He learned how to survive under the most bizarre and extraordinary circumstances.
In this book, he shares the trials and tribulations of his youth through anecdotes that will leave you in tears of joy or sorrow. Travel back to the ’60s and ’70s and watch Brett transform from a sperm to adolescence. Follow him having his first piano lesson, first sewing machine, first kiss and first ejaculation.
The story is moving and disturbing, brutal yet hilarious. Cheer him along in his struggles and triumphs until he leaves the desert and heads off to college.
If you like stories full of sarcasm and observational humor, then you are going to love this book.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
154 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 20, 2021
416 people are currently reading
139 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
February 27, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
While the title claims this book is bizarre and funny, I really didn't find it bizarre and some of it was definitely not funny. The animal abuse almost made me give up but I knew that would probably be only a portion of the rest of the story. The child abuse was sad, not funny.
That said, there were some funny parts to the book. His description on Christmas and summer heat were pretty funny.
While the title claims this book is bizarre and funny, I really didn't find it bizarre and some of it was definitely not funny. The animal abuse almost made me give up but I knew that would probably be only a portion of the rest of the story. The child abuse was sad, not funny.
That said, there were some funny parts to the book. His description on Christmas and summer heat were pretty funny.
January 22, 2021
Hilarious and Heartbreaking
This memoir about a boy growing up in a mining town in Australia with his dysfunctional family is both hilarious and heartbreaking. The book recounts the life of a talented and creative boy who never really felt he belonged in the family he was born into. With an violent and alcoholic father, an unhappy mother and a band of bullying brothers, the author recounts his early childhood and adolescent years growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in the harsh outback town of Broken Hill. Despite the violence and dysfunction around him this book shines with stories of the myriad of characters in his life and his often hilarious day to day experiences as he navigates growing up and becoming his true self. A fabulous and funny memoir.
This memoir about a boy growing up in a mining town in Australia with his dysfunctional family is both hilarious and heartbreaking. The book recounts the life of a talented and creative boy who never really felt he belonged in the family he was born into. With an violent and alcoholic father, an unhappy mother and a band of bullying brothers, the author recounts his early childhood and adolescent years growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in the harsh outback town of Broken Hill. Despite the violence and dysfunction around him this book shines with stories of the myriad of characters in his life and his often hilarious day to day experiences as he navigates growing up and becoming his true self. A fabulous and funny memoir.
September 18, 2021
Well... This book is exactly what the author said it was: A Funny Memoir. The first line is, "It was 1962. Dad had an orgasm while Mum was thinking about her new shoes . . . and so my journey began." Although I laughed, there were stories of child abuse that made me cringe. Basically, it's a difficult book to get a grasp of. From laughing to reliving my own childhood, I never knew what was coming next. I still enjoyed it and can recommend it as long as the abuse of children doesn't make you want to puke.
January 24, 2021
This book is well-written, quirkily humorous, poignant, nostalgic, down-to-earth, brutally honest and real. Some references to parts of the body and their functions may be a bit too much for some people. Others might be upset by the extent of accepted abuse in this child's life.
This is a look back at a childhood that was dysfunctional but memorable. Throughout the book, the author manages to keep his 'tongue-in-cheek' humour and there is a sense of hope amongst the physical and emotional abuse. I grew up in the '60s and 70's so could identify with being hit at school and at home, but not as brutally as this child suffered. I was and am a Catholic so could identify with all of that too.
We are taken through early childhood, the anguish and joy of puberty and end with heading into young adulthood. In discovering that he felt different in his family and in the wider society that he was brought up in because of his artistic and creative interests, the author tries to convey his personal exploration of discovering who he really is and his sexuality; he does this very well.
I have never been to Australia but the descriptions of the mining town he grew up in really give the reader a sense of the extreme heat and barrenness of the area.
This is a look back at a childhood that was dysfunctional but memorable. Throughout the book, the author manages to keep his 'tongue-in-cheek' humour and there is a sense of hope amongst the physical and emotional abuse. I grew up in the '60s and 70's so could identify with being hit at school and at home, but not as brutally as this child suffered. I was and am a Catholic so could identify with all of that too.
We are taken through early childhood, the anguish and joy of puberty and end with heading into young adulthood. In discovering that he felt different in his family and in the wider society that he was brought up in because of his artistic and creative interests, the author tries to convey his personal exploration of discovering who he really is and his sexuality; he does this very well.
I have never been to Australia but the descriptions of the mining town he grew up in really give the reader a sense of the extreme heat and barrenness of the area.
May 12, 2021
An interesting tale
Loved this biography written with authenticity, humor, and plenty of adventures. It was the first book I've read from the sperm's perspective. Which, of course, is when the humor begins. I was sad to read of the abuse Mr. Preiss endured as a child, along with his mum and brothers. Though, I understand alcoholism as the main culprit. I enjoyed reading about Brett's musical and dancing abilities, along with the friendships and fun he had during high school. I think other gays would enjoy this book and perhaps find something in his character to relate to. Also, it would have been fun to read more about his college years.
Loved this biography written with authenticity, humor, and plenty of adventures. It was the first book I've read from the sperm's perspective. Which, of course, is when the humor begins. I was sad to read of the abuse Mr. Preiss endured as a child, along with his mum and brothers. Though, I understand alcoholism as the main culprit. I enjoyed reading about Brett's musical and dancing abilities, along with the friendships and fun he had during high school. I think other gays would enjoy this book and perhaps find something in his character to relate to. Also, it would have been fun to read more about his college years.
June 29, 2021
PLEASE TELL ME THERE'S A SEQUEL TO THIS BOOK!!!!
I purchased this book because I was intrigued by the title. It was a wonderful decision. The author has a wry sense of humour, slightly sarcastic. He is hysterically funny even when recalling less than funny life incidents. Most times he had me laughing until tears were running down my face. Brett is an excellent writer and I'm hoping he wrote a sequel as his story and writing ability warrant it.
I purchased this book because I was intrigued by the title. It was a wonderful decision. The author has a wry sense of humour, slightly sarcastic. He is hysterically funny even when recalling less than funny life incidents. Most times he had me laughing until tears were running down my face. Brett is an excellent writer and I'm hoping he wrote a sequel as his story and writing ability warrant it.
February 6, 2021
Fabulous!
A funny well edited memoir about the author's early years. Would love to hear more. Brett has a great way of drawing you in to his story telling, at times he experienced anguish but it is clear that his optimism and sense of humour were great tools in his box of coping mechanisms. Very enjoyable if a little on the short side
A funny well edited memoir about the author's early years. Would love to hear more. Brett has a great way of drawing you in to his story telling, at times he experienced anguish but it is clear that his optimism and sense of humour were great tools in his box of coping mechanisms. Very enjoyable if a little on the short side
August 4, 2021
Weird book but definitely enjoyable.
I wasn't sure I was going to like this book after reading the first two chapters but decided to stick with it. I'm very glad I did. I saw myself on the ballroom dance floor and sitting at my piano many times. I real!y liked this book. Maybe you will too!
I wasn't sure I was going to like this book after reading the first two chapters but decided to stick with it. I'm very glad I did. I saw myself on the ballroom dance floor and sitting at my piano many times. I real!y liked this book. Maybe you will too!
August 6, 2021
Awful
I couldn't finish this horror. "A FUNNY memoir?" Anyone who finds these constant descriptions of brutal domestic abuse, child abuse and animal abuse FUNNY is quite simply sadistic. I certainly hope the author gets some help for his mental and emotional illnesses, and stops perpetrating his illnesses on unsuspecting readers. Just the worst. Brett - get some help. 😖
I couldn't finish this horror. "A FUNNY memoir?" Anyone who finds these constant descriptions of brutal domestic abuse, child abuse and animal abuse FUNNY is quite simply sadistic. I certainly hope the author gets some help for his mental and emotional illnesses, and stops perpetrating his illnesses on unsuspecting readers. Just the worst. Brett - get some help. 😖
May 12, 2021
A fun read; harrowing but also triumphant in parts. Recommended to all except Brett's father, who I am sure wouldn't enjoy it.
March 20, 2023
I could definitely identify with the author and their experiences having come from a very dysfunctional family myself. I think that the viewpoint of the reader will definitely determine whether this read is something that they enjoy, or find to be sad and disheartening. I enjoyed this and have always used dark humor to help me manage and deal with the hard things in my life. I found that this author had a very unique voice and take on life. It was refreshing to read this book. I about lost it with the Sem Park story, but have since recovered and have continued on with my existence. This author is a hoot. Thanks for the ARC, Netgalley.
January 25, 2021
What a range of emotions
I read this in one sitting. The story the author paints is like a really bad wreck you know is going to happen but you can’t look away. I ranged from laughing out loud to tears rolling down my face to laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face to wanting to call Child Protection Services. What a brilliant tale. I very much see this as a movie much like the zany story “Holes”. The last line of the book is absolutely the perfect bow on this package.
I read this in one sitting. The story the author paints is like a really bad wreck you know is going to happen but you can’t look away. I ranged from laughing out loud to tears rolling down my face to laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face to wanting to call Child Protection Services. What a brilliant tale. I very much see this as a movie much like the zany story “Holes”. The last line of the book is absolutely the perfect bow on this package.
February 8, 2023
Experience the unique and captivating coming of age story of Brett Preiss, growing up in an isolated mining town in Australia. In his memoir, The (un)Lucky Sperm, Brett shares his hilarious and honest accounts of surviving a dysfunctional family in the dusty outback of the 1960s and 1970s. Follow him as he transforms from a sperm to adolescence, navigating his first piano lesson, first sewing machine, first kiss, and more. Through laughter and tears, Brett's story will touch your heart and leave you in stitches. Perfect for fans of sarcasm and observational humor.. Great Read!
October 19, 2023
Delightfully Thoughtful
I didn't know what to expect from this book, but it is a great story of a boy who grew up in Australia that didn't fit in with his surroundings. Overcoming his bizarre family he navigates his way on being himself no matter what. I laughed out loud many times., and was sadden when people were cruel to him. I was sad when it ended so abruptly, and wish I learned more about his early 20s, when he could truly be more himself. Thabk you Brett for sharing your story with the world!
I didn't know what to expect from this book, but it is a great story of a boy who grew up in Australia that didn't fit in with his surroundings. Overcoming his bizarre family he navigates his way on being himself no matter what. I laughed out loud many times., and was sadden when people were cruel to him. I was sad when it ended so abruptly, and wish I learned more about his early 20s, when he could truly be more himself. Thabk you Brett for sharing your story with the world!
April 2, 2021
Story of a harsh childhood
Brett writes of his childhood in a mining town in Australia. He was a middle child in a family of four boys. There didn't appear to be any love in his family. Instead harsh punishments were given. Brett overcame all of this and grew up to be a productive adult.This was just an ok story. I read it out of curiosity but can't see any reason to recommend it
Brett writes of his childhood in a mining town in Australia. He was a middle child in a family of four boys. There didn't appear to be any love in his family. Instead harsh punishments were given. Brett overcame all of this and grew up to be a productive adult.This was just an ok story. I read it out of curiosity but can't see any reason to recommend it
September 21, 2021
Hilarious and fun to read
The childhood left alot to be desired, but i can understand the parental mentality because I also grew up in that era, amazing how it made us take responsibility for ourselves, and I can't wait to google the author and see what he's up to now :) hopefully there will be more books written that I can discover.
The childhood left alot to be desired, but i can understand the parental mentality because I also grew up in that era, amazing how it made us take responsibility for ourselves, and I can't wait to google the author and see what he's up to now :) hopefully there will be more books written that I can discover.
September 25, 2021
Survival
This is a brutal book. It's also a look at dysfunction, bullies, alcoholism, and trying to survive a terrible family drama. That being said , the authors story is humorous in places and his escape through music and higher learning is admirable. A!so a sense of humour is key. Well written.
This is a brutal book. It's also a look at dysfunction, bullies, alcoholism, and trying to survive a terrible family drama. That being said , the authors story is humorous in places and his escape through music and higher learning is admirable. A!so a sense of humour is key. Well written.
April 8, 2023
Overall, this was a well written book but do not expect a "bizarre" childhood story. Yes, it was an abusive home but it really felt like the author was just whining about growing up poor. News flash, lots of people do it. It seemed like he was just complaining a lot about not having all the new and flashy things. At times, I really felt bad for the mom that he was complaining so much.
January 30, 2021
I loved this book from start to finish. Brett's Australian sense of humour is so hilarious and being a kiwi I understand it totally. I don't usually read a book so quickly, but found this one hard to put down. I hope there is another book in the pipeline Brett, as I will be waiting for it.
February 7, 2021
I really enjoyed this book. Well written and the author does a great job of holding the readers attention. I found it funny although incredibly sad at times. I hope he has found happiness in his life.
February 11, 2021
My husband read this and says: Quite an hilarious concept of conception. Much better than the book "Where did I come from". Good light reading - but can assist the younger generation of the different hurdles in life.
April 4, 2021
Marvelous!!!!!!
Author definitely gets five *****'s from me for this wonderful autobiography!! Funny, witty, sometimes sad, etc. Excellent!!!!! A true treat for readers like myself! 😊😊😊😊
Author definitely gets five *****'s from me for this wonderful autobiography!! Funny, witty, sometimes sad, etc. Excellent!!!!! A true treat for readers like myself! 😊😊😊😊
June 4, 2021
Raw humor
Life in the outback almost placed dust in my mouth and searing heat on my back. I felt I was there watching life unfold. Thank you for your candid and humorous account of your start in life. An enjoyable, emotional stirring ,real read.
Life in the outback almost placed dust in my mouth and searing heat on my back. I felt I was there watching life unfold. Thank you for your candid and humorous account of your start in life. An enjoyable, emotional stirring ,real read.
September 28, 2021
From the first page, I was hooked. Brett has a way of making you feel all the emotions in just a few paragraphs. My absolute favorite part was the trips to Sem Tree! I went back and read that 3 times! I hope the author writes a sequel about his college years!
May 2, 2022
You learn a lot about the writing style of the author by the quirky title. It was a hilarious and brutal recounting of growing up in a dysfunctional home. I was drawn to this book by the fact that he grew up in a small mining town in the outback of Australia. Fascinating.
May 17, 2022
A creatively written book that was hard to set down.
Mr. Preiss is a very witty and talented writer.
His self-deprecation is appreciated and his story is well told.
One cannot help but to laugh when one should probably be crying.
Well done!
Mr. Preiss is a very witty and talented writer.
His self-deprecation is appreciated and his story is well told.
One cannot help but to laugh when one should probably be crying.
Well done!
August 15, 2025
Wasn't the best read but I like reading about people's lives and how they were brought up. It upset me how his father treated him and his mother the beatings and alcohol. But no matter what his mother stayed put to keep her family together. Nice quick read.
January 26, 2021
Growing up in a dysfunctional family is a sad story but the author does a great job at surviving it with humor. I both laughed and cried and enjoyed the book.
March 6, 2021
Great book
Highly entertaining. Made me cry when I wasn't laughing. Could not put it down. Read it all in one sitting
Highly entertaining. Made me cry when I wasn't laughing. Could not put it down. Read it all in one sitting
March 10, 2021
Good Tale
TGr wing up in a desert mining town in Australia is very much like growing up in t hUSA
.
TGr wing up in a desert mining town in Australia is very much like growing up in t hUSA
.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews