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Harry Potter and the Lightning Scar
After the disastrous end of Harry's third year, Sirius and Remus scheme to lift Harry's spirits by sending him to the United States to learn to be an animagus. In the process, he ends up learning the truth about his infamous scar and how to fight his war.
- GenresFan Fiction
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
January 23, 2021
Rating: 2-3 stars
A potentially great fanfiction drowned out by horrid pacing, characterization, consistency and general realism. The first 20/36 chapters were essentially a prologue that could be summed in by saying 'Harry learned unspecified spells, learned basic knowledge, and became a thunderbird'. The next 16 chapters were about how a stupid old man and a stupid belligerent boy changed the political landscape by yelling and sighing. Reallllly bad politics, thought processes, and realism. Almost nothing the author spent time on was central to the plot. This had the exposition of a half million word fanfic and the plot of a long oneshot.
On the other hand, this story was technically well written, utilized interesting lore, and is also completed. I wonder how much better this would be if the author went back and reworked it now. A few times the author had to explain thing in depth in long author's notes because the audience didn't understand what was going on. I could see this being pretty great if instead the author went back and made things make sense. I only got through this with a judicious use of skimming.
The most jarring inconsistencies for me were:
Everything to do with Dumbledore and co. Just... everything.
Harry's infrequent random flip from angry yelling person to resigned when he feels violated. It can be the same people in very similar circumstances and he acts differently for no stated reason.
Crouch having his mind shattered but his end role still playing out like canon. Crouch was described as literally having no mind/will and it being impossible for him to break the imperious curse. (At the time I was wondering how he can even function under the curse if he's so far gone. Wouldn't Neville's parents be able to be at least half saved by using this method?) He then somehow escapes last minute and does his best to warn everyone about Voldemort's plan. He gets killed before he can, just like in canon.
Harry's fight with Wormtail & then the Death Eaters. After establishing Wormtail as weak and cowardly and Harry as very strong and strategic it's so contrived how the fight ended in a tie with Wormtail technically winning. Harry almost immediately realizes that Wormtail wants his blood. Wormtail somehow forgets Harry was there and Harry proceeds to follow behind Wormtail invisibly and make a call. He follows the entire time, watches as Wormtail does an involved ritual, and only at the very end thinks about trying to try to stop it. This entire contrived mess was just a stupid way at getting Voldemort to revive. Later, Voldemort remembers that Harry exists and tells the Death Eaters to search for him. Instead of anyone using the just previously utilized Revealing spell, they do something unrealistic and unspecified. Harry somehow captures one of them without anyone noticing, glances at their dark mark and somehow intimately knows how it works and how to exploit it,... etc. more contrived mess so that Harry can get a cool win. The author later gives a chapter long retcon to attempt to explain it away but it doesn't really help.
A potentially great fanfiction drowned out by horrid pacing, characterization, consistency and general realism. The first 20/36 chapters were essentially a prologue that could be summed in by saying 'Harry learned unspecified spells, learned basic knowledge, and became a thunderbird'. The next 16 chapters were about how a stupid old man and a stupid belligerent boy changed the political landscape by yelling and sighing. Reallllly bad politics, thought processes, and realism. Almost nothing the author spent time on was central to the plot. This had the exposition of a half million word fanfic and the plot of a long oneshot.
On the other hand, this story was technically well written, utilized interesting lore, and is also completed. I wonder how much better this would be if the author went back and reworked it now. A few times the author had to explain thing in depth in long author's notes because the audience didn't understand what was going on. I could see this being pretty great if instead the author went back and made things make sense. I only got through this with a judicious use of skimming.
The most jarring inconsistencies for me were:
Everything to do with Dumbledore and co. Just... everything.
Harry's infrequent random flip from angry yelling person to resigned when he feels violated. It can be the same people in very similar circumstances and he acts differently for no stated reason.
Crouch having his mind shattered but his end role still playing out like canon. Crouch was described as literally having no mind/will and it being impossible for him to break the imperious curse. (At the time I was wondering how he can even function under the curse if he's so far gone. Wouldn't Neville's parents be able to be at least half saved by using this method?) He then somehow escapes last minute and does his best to warn everyone about Voldemort's plan. He gets killed before he can, just like in canon.
Harry's fight with Wormtail & then the Death Eaters. After establishing Wormtail as weak and cowardly and Harry as very strong and strategic it's so contrived how the fight ended in a tie with Wormtail technically winning. Harry almost immediately realizes that Wormtail wants his blood. Wormtail somehow forgets Harry was there and Harry proceeds to follow behind Wormtail invisibly and make a call. He follows the entire time, watches as Wormtail does an involved ritual, and only at the very end thinks about trying to try to stop it. This entire contrived mess was just a stupid way at getting Voldemort to revive. Later, Voldemort remembers that Harry exists and tells the Death Eaters to search for him. Instead of anyone using the just previously utilized Revealing spell, they do something unrealistic and unspecified. Harry somehow captures one of them without anyone noticing, glances at their dark mark and somehow intimately knows how it works and how to exploit it,... etc. more contrived mess so that Harry can get a cool win. The author later gives a chapter long retcon to attempt to explain it away but it doesn't really help.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 30, 2022
I wish this one was complete, but it's still interesting, mainly because it features Harry's trip to America to travel and later to learn to be an animagus. His form is sort of cliche, but the details around it are well-thought-out.
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10349675/1...
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10349675/1...
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September 28, 2021read long ago
May 10, 2022
Enjoyed reread.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews