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290 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 25, 2021

He’d thrown Nate’s apology back in his face. He’d thrown Nate’s love back in his face. And now that precious gift was lost to him forever.
At the last moment, Sam stood up, struggling to balance. A final act of defiance, perhaps. But, no, he had a purpose. His gaze roved across the crowd, searching for something, and Nate’s pulse skipped when Sam’s eyes found his for one last look of utter betrayal.
“I'm so sorry,” he breathed, holding Sam tight. “I’m sorry for everything you lost. I’m sorry for everything you suffered. And I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it happening.”
Nate watched in silence as Sam took his hand and slipped the ring back onto Nate’s finger where it belonged. “Always together,” Sam promised.
“Always and forever.”
Amicus est tamquam alter idem: a true friend is a second self.
He hardly knew what he felt, only that it was too much. Overwhelmed, he drove his fingers into Nate’s hair, knotting them there, forcing Nate’s head back to deepen the kiss. To make it a punishment. But Nate only took Sam’s face in his hands, too tender, too gentle, murmuring soft sounds that set Sam blazing.
He reached out with both hands and captured Nate’s face, pressing their lips together. They kissed like the world burned, like floods were rising and the heavens falling. Like nothing else mattered but the slide of their mouths, the slow exploration of lips and tongues.
“Sam,” he said again, in invitation, in offer, and held out his good hand. “I want to feel you everywhere.”
“God, Nate, you’re…” Beautiful. Glorious. Mine. He couldn’t find the word.
“Impatient.” A slow smile curled Nate’s mouth and he held out his hand again. “Come here.”


It seems almost impossible for them to get past the things that tore them apart, the politics, the war. Even when they are forced to work together and are forced to spend days in the close proximity of a chaise, it's hard for Sam to understand Nate's motives and find forgiveness for them. But as time passes, the memories of them and of the love they once shared, make it harder and harder for him to hold on to the hatred and anger.
"You hell-born bastard. I loved you."
(...)There were no words to explain the howling agony of seeing Nate standing with the mob, watching in silence while Sam was humiliated, abused and driven out of his home. There were no words for the pain of that betrayal, the pain of knowing that Nate simply hadn't loved him enough to try and save him. Maybe it wasn't rational, but that was how he felt and offering his heart, bloody and beaten, to the man who'd already crushed it was impossible.
There's a satisfying HFN/HEA. There had to be. Despite their differences, their love was real. Like the scripting in Nate's ring. Like Socrates had said:
"A single soul inhabiting two bodies"
Sam and Nate were one single soul, they couldn't not live without that other piece of their own soul inhabiting the other one's body in the end.
"I wish I could undo that night. I wish none of it had ever happened. I wish-" His forehead dropped onto Sam's shoulder, his hand fisting into his coat. On a shivery breath, he whispered, "I wish you still loved me."
Be prepared to have your heart broken, but the healing is oh so alluring and satisfying, and I'm tempted to do it all over again. And again. And again.
I could have highlighted almost the whole book, so many beautiful words to remember. All I can say and keep on repeating is READ THIS BOOK. It's one of the most captivating, exquisite, sublime books I have ever read.
Also, don't forget to read the author's personal note.
Highly, highly recommended (Can't say it enough!)
I received an ARC by Gay Romance Reviews and this is my unbiased, honest review