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A Time To Dance, No Time To Weep

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A Time to Dance, No Time to Weep An Autobiography

243 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1987

6 people are currently reading
519 people want to read

About the author

Rumer Godden

151 books547 followers
Margaret Rumer Godden was an English author of more than 60 fiction and non-fiction books. Nine of her works have been made into films, most notably Black Narcissus in 1947 and The River in 1951.
A few of her works were co-written with her elder sister, novelist Jon Godden, including Two Under the Indian Sun, a memoir of the Goddens' childhood in a region of India now part of Bangladesh.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
Profile Image for Carol She's So Novel꧁꧂ .
955 reviews830 followers
January 20, 2023
4.5★

My head is spinning after reading Rumer Godden's impossibly full life - well part of her life. This book finishes in 1946 when RG (as I call her) was only 39.

I will certainly be looking for the other parts, including the ones written with her elder sister Jon Godden

Growing up in India (where RG had an injury more serious than first realised), a disastrous (for RG & her sisters) return to England, where the girls didn't fit in, back to India, where in spite of injury RG ran a dance school, a broken engagement, an unhappy marriage to a wastrel... don't you already want to go phew!

I love that RG didn't go into too much detail about the books, even about her thought processes writing them. Too often biographies/memoirs give too much away & any unread novels are spoilt for this reader. A life so full and adventurous that taking her two daughters and her Pekinese dogs on long arduous treks barely mentions a few lines. Reader of several of her books (most notably The Greengage Summer & Kingfishers Catch Fire) will find RG takes inspiration from her own life and puts it into her writing.

In parts RG is quite brutally frank - I wonder how the child of another friend felt about RG's honest account of her feelings about this boy.

...but Dudi, whom I could not like, a fat little boy with long golden curls and a high whining voice...


The last part about the attempts to poison RG, her daughters & a friend(I did say - one action packed life!) are almost glossed over. These events lead to RG never being able to return to Kashmir and the loss of a friendship that clearly meant a lot to her.

This return to England, in spite of all the trauma, finishes on a hopeful note;

Now on the quay at Liverpool that miserable morning I had two things; rolled up, under my arm, was the Agra rug and, in my suitcase, a finished book, the manuscript of The River.

We could start over.


Profile Image for Diane Barnes.
1,590 reviews446 followers
October 21, 2019
A good enough autobiography of an author whose fiction I admire, and the description of the parts of India in which she lived is fascinating. A good interim read for me.
Profile Image for Moonkiszt.
2,957 reviews333 followers
January 23, 2021
Discovering Rumer Godden has been one of the great joys of the last five years. Since I was 4 or 5 I had been looking for her, although I didn't know it at the time. At a babysitter's house I had found a book in rough shape, without covers and without its beginning and end. There was no name or author of the book. But it had lovely pictures, of dolls - different kinds, and their story - for they were alive! Thanks to a combination of GoodReads and Facebook, a New Yorker read my fragmented story and suggested I look for author Rumer Godden, and perhaps her book The Doll's House. It was a fantastic end to one of my lifelong mysteries! A new author gained and a friend as a bonus!

That brings me to my desire to learn more about Rumer Godden and read as many of her books as I can find - to see if I am as in love with her as I think I am. There are a number of biographies of her, but I found a 2-parter, an autobiography, of which A Time To Dance, No Time To Weep is the first.

Rumer was raised during the British Raj period, and was in India during most of her growing up years. She was sent back to England for boarding school, but hated it and was able to write her way out of England and find her way back to India, specifically Kashmir. Although life was difficult here, hard to birth and raise children here with a reluctant spouse who is seems to mostly check in to beget those children, she loves the place. You can feel it in her writing. She brings the atmosphere and mystery of the places she writes about, and as one reads, it spreads itself off the page into the reader's world.

As an autobiography goes, it feels very self-conscious and includes more about familial relationships than I was really interested in. Perhaps this was a work more for her family than readers of her books - it really doesn't seem like her family really appreciated her work and so she doesn't really focus on more than whether a particular writing was accepted and published. She does mention a few things about what might have prompted what setting, when. Her relationship with her sister seems to have been important, but also full of competition and comparison.

Autobiographies are always a little suspect, if you ask me. Biographers do a better job of balance (unless they don't!). But balance doesn't ever seem to be the goal of an autobiography - often is more about justification and explanation ("why I did what I did, and why I was right" or "I am the victim here and that *finger point* is the villain"). Hence the 3 stars. Her books (so far) are better writing than this work, in my opinion. Still, interesting stuff.

I'm looking for the 2nd part of her autobiography.
Profile Image for Jeanette.
4,043 reviews825 followers
May 14, 2016
Loving Rumer Godden's fiction and enjoying it even more, I can't say the same for her non-fiction memoirs. I like it, don't love it. This is the last of the non-fiction that I've read and I feel the same about her own two, and also the one written with her sister. They're GOOD, but not to the level of her fiction.

It is NOT because her life was inconsequential or generic in any sense. It's her mercury/quicksilver kind of context. She, just like her movement into locations, flits from one subject and connection to a reference of intersection to another. It has some correlation in similarity to my entire extended Italian family being assembled within one large hall for any specific time period. Mountains of interest and information, but it's all pouring down the sides of waterfall noise and exclamation at once. A deluge. Not to mention the physical movement.

She has such a TEXTURE. She seems to feel color and see sound. All of Rumer is entrenched, and nearly at all times. Not just in the nature. She's also composing copy in her head at the same time. In this youth detailing from childhood of her earliest memories until the separation with her first husband, that aspect (writing in her head and being "above" her real life) overwhelms the read. To me, it does. And that aspect of these years appearing here in print form and in this type of minutia to yearly changes and maturation of her teen-age years (those especially)- it's just not a corresponding factor that translates to the print form well. Too much of too much. Reminds me of exclamation point euphoria? !!!!!!!

She scatters directions for thought in this consistently of her own personality. Lots of energy and very poor self control, both lived and recorded. All Rumer. All the time.

Most readers will enjoy this kind of abandon to fate more than I will. Especially considering the illnesses and health ordeals incurred for herself and her children? (The Rabies one made me think her parents were basically mad.) And she consistently, throughout her 90 years (every single memoir, alone or shared) seems rather proud of her monetary extravagance. No money for food or lodging but buying a portrait or paper mache artwork, or a childhood chair being more important to secure for keeping dry and "nice" than a daughter or servant?? Just like "Fa", she notes a couple of times. She can't live without the luxury need over the necessary and practical.

If we all lived life to this extent, as Rumer did, in so many places and on 3 or 4 continents and also survived as long as she did to tell the tale!

Oh what a world that would be.
Profile Image for Sherwood Smith.
Author 167 books37.5k followers
Read
June 3, 2010
This is my sipping book. Godden is a terrific writer, and her story of growing up in India, then moving to England, and back to India, and the paradigm shifts she went through, plus her evolution as a writer, are fascinating. I'm reading this in bits.
Profile Image for Julie Davis.
Author 5 books319 followers
March 9, 2016
Foisted upon me by my daughter, Hannah, and I am ever so glad she did. This memoir of Rumer Godden's youth and young adulthood has beautifully descriptive and insightful writing which is her trademark. As she is shuttled between India and England we see life in both places between 1907-1946.

As she herself mentions, she hates the word "Raj" and yet that is the life she lives much of the time. The difference, about 1/3 of the way through the book, is that she loves India enough to delve below the conventional veneer the British put upon life there. She also has unconventional ways of living herself, including beginning a dancing school for children. (Simply not done, my dear, especially if one is of the upper class.)

Every so often she'll mention something like most of the Godden girls having had failed marriages and then say that, to be fair, they had never heard of the word "sacrament." I was really surprised to see such a mention which seemed completely out of place in this person's consciousness. Then remembered that this is the same person who wrote one of my favorite books, In This House of Brede, during which process she converted to Catholicism. It makes me anxious to read the second book which presumably will go into depth about that journey.

=========

FINAL
Overall this is a wonderful book. I can't really add to what I wrote above except to say that it exceeded my expectations and made me want to read the second volume.
Profile Image for Elinor.
Author 4 books254 followers
February 10, 2021
No autobiography could be boring when it involves such a fascinating life. This one covers the first half of Rumer Godden's 90-year span on earth, in which she is raised in India with all the privileges of the wealthy; attends boarding school in England; returns to India where she starts a dance school, of all things; marries and has two children before the scoundrel deserts her and leaves her penniless; takes her little girls to a bungalow in the mountains of Kashmir where they have many adventures; and launches a successful lifelong writing career.

This is written in the beautiful and descriptive manner that characterizes her novels. She also includes excerpts from her own books in which it is apparent where her inspiration came from, as well as many notes from letters and diaries, which add authenticity. Highly entertaining.
Profile Image for Margaret.
1,053 reviews400 followers
April 12, 2010
This is the first volume of Rumer Godden's autobiography; since I'm fond of her novels, I thought I'd be likely to enjoy her autobiography, and I did. This volume covers about the first forty years of Godden's long life; she died in 1998 at the age of 90. Godden grew up in India with her parents and three sisters and spent much of her later life there; as in many of her novels, she evokes it splendidly here in her autobiography.

She describes her growth as a writer, from early stories to her first successful novel, Black Narcissus, the story of English nuns living and working in India. Though her life in this period was frequently unhappy -- an awful boarding school, an unsuccessful first marriage -- Godden's resilience always shows through, and the memoir ends as she returns to England from India, a manuscript under her arm and hope in her heart.
Profile Image for Stephanie.
141 reviews72 followers
October 12, 2007
Whenever I consider doing something stupid, like getting a real job, I reach for Rumer Godden's autobiographies. A Time to Dance, No Time to Weep is her first, and covers the years she spent in India. Although she's not a particularly likable person, she is an admirable one who refused to fall in line with the status quo. If you're a difficult person who has trouble fitting in anywhere, I think you will appreciate this book.
Profile Image for Jamaica.
12 reviews
January 1, 2025
Enjoyed this insight into the life of a writer (who I am now looking forward to reading her fiction work) growing up between India and England. Great storytelling brought to life by snippets of letters and excerpts from writing pieces.
Profile Image for Suzanne.
503 reviews1 follower
May 30, 2008
This is Rumer Godden's memoir of her first 40 years up until the beginning of World war II. Rumer grew up in India and lived a wonderful life with all the privileges and culture present to those British families living under the Raj. Her descriptive passages are rich in their imagery. Godden was a dancer and taught dancing for many years. This is her story and shows her courage and resourcefulness. When her marriage finally dissolves (due to her husband's constant indebtedness among other things) Rumer leaves with her two small daughters and has to rethink her life. She begins to write. This is hardly an easy time. India is unstable and the world is about to go to war. This is a fine memoir and should be followed by her second one, "A House with Four Rooms". She is a remarkable woman.
Profile Image for Sara.
Author 3 books6 followers
September 12, 2017
I am on a Rumer Godden jag. Hurricane Irma was bearing down on us and I was reading about Rumer's hair-raising experiences sitting out WWII in Kashmir. What a sensibility the woman had! Everything she experienced became a book. She had such empathy and interest in everyone around her, no matter their ethnicity, religion, age. She was up against terrible odds, especially with an irresponsible husband and two small children, but she never complained. Throughout it all she wrote. So I guess I can't complain about 20 hours without electricity! I find her perspective very steadying.
Profile Image for Nicola Pierce.
Author 25 books85 followers
January 4, 2023
God bless one of those 'On This Day' Facebook posts that introduced me to the writer Rumer Godden and her memoirs. I had never heard of her but am a sucker for any writer's diaries and memoirs. The post appeared just before Christmas and it took me a while to locate second-hand copies. I was struggling to read. I usually am too distracted at this time of the year but even that usual chaos was compounded by my husband having two separate strokes the week before Christmas. I carried this book in and out of hospital for the first ten days, completely unable to concentrate on more than a few words at a time. Finally, I turned the key and stepped inside and read this in two days, making sure I had the second volume lined up. Fascinating life, well told, with plenty for writers - budding and otherwise.
Profile Image for Pippa.
Author 2 books31 followers
December 17, 2016
There is no doubt that the novels are better, but - to anyone who knows and loves them - this is a fascinating book. She had such strength and weakness of character combined. She was perfectionist and driven, loving and solitary, frugal and extravagant, adventurer and home-biddy, suspicious and trusting, reserved and yet needing to tell... It is these extremes, constantly in conflict, that produce such great work. It was interesting to find the stories behind the novels, and to see this incredibly brave and resourceful woman in action - and to understand how often she felt she had failed, and how often she came close to despair - even while - with enormous courage - she gathered the understanding, experience and wisdom that she knew she needed for her books. For me she is, without a doubt, one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century.
Profile Image for Sara.
56 reviews
April 16, 2011
A biography of Godden's tumultuous life in the during the War years, set in India as well as England. True to a form I am beginning to see, Godden begins slowly with little tales, seemingly inconsequential, building to a climax, sans denoument. From a picture of colonial life to a desperate flight from the province of Kashmir, past page 150 I couldn't put the book down.

In addition to background for several of her best known novels, A Time to Dance is also a recounting of her inspirations, literary and otherwise. As such, it can be a great resource for aspiring writers to plumb the depths of their own temerity and craft.
Profile Image for Stephen Hayes.
Author 6 books133 followers
October 13, 2025
I have read only one novel by Rumer Godden -- In This House of Brede, about a women's monastery in England -- but I was sufficiently curious about the author to want to read this autobiography. I often find literary biographies as interesting, or more interesting, than the works of the author themselves, but this was not one of those. It was interesting enough, but not very well written.

It covers only the first part of the author's life: early childhood in India, education in England, and a wartime evacuation again to India and later Kashmir. Perhaps there is a second volume to cover that, but there is no hint of that in this one. There are plenty of interesting events in the book, but they are sometimes rather disjointed, and one gets the impression that the book was written primarily for the author's immediate family, who would no what she was talking about, rather than readers who wish there was a little more explanation.
Profile Image for Carolien.
1,033 reviews139 followers
February 14, 2021
I have read a number of books by Rumer Godden and many of those are based on her experiences growing up in India. It was therefore interesting to read the context of those settings and events and how she matured as an author.

The autobiography covers only the first part of her life between birth and the end of WWII and she had a remarkably full life with extraordinary experiences in that time.
Profile Image for Trudy Pomerantz.
634 reviews5 followers
March 1, 2017
The only word that I think comes anywhere close to describing Godden's writing is exquisite! Her prose is almost poetical and her description of India and Kashmir is inspirational. After reading this book, India and Kashmir are now on my bucket list.

p 1 It was March, 1920, the chill grey of a Devon morning with a sharp wind blowing from the sea. Everything was wet and colourless and we were cold to our bones - not only with cold; we had already had a taste of England.

p 66 As I look at Nigel's photograph now it seems so stiff and posed that it is better to go back to him in memory because he always seemed more vividly alive than other people; his hair and eyes were almost sorrel brown and the eyes lit to show golden won flecks when he laughed. His skin seemed to glow and I remember, particularly, his hands, strong and gentle, and his voice that had a cutting edge to it when he was angry as had Jon's, but that could be coaxing enough to have won over even Fa.

p 105 The baby was a son. I was still holding classes as, in the early mornings and evenings, it was cool enough to dance; a child, doing exercises at the barre, caught me in the side with a vigorous kick. Our little son was born prematurely and only lived four days. We called him David.

p 126 The garden is wild and beautiful; there is a waterfall, quite a big one, and the drive is bordered by blue hydrangeas growing taller than one's head. The rhododendrons, red, pale pink and white, and the azaleas are so vivid they throw coloured reflections on the room walls.

p 135 The birds were in a huge aviary in the garden; the fish, tropical with fantails and fan gills of glinting colours, were in glass tanks on the verandah, with floors of white coral, sand and shells and water plants growing above them;

p 184 It was then that I remembered the house I had seen from the lake, that speck among the faint far green of trees, the small house alone on the mountain.

p 186 It was a rarely beautiful little house; in spring, all around it were flowering trees, peach, apricot, cherry, along, acacia; in summer it was hung with vines and honeysuckle and scented white roses, while along its terraced orchards white iris grew wild. In the courtyard the stream splashed to a small waterfall and, high above, the mountain cut off the sky; the lake below was divided into two by a built-up road and a bridge, like a brooch, pinning them together; the far horizon was broken by the range of the Pir Panjal snows.

p 190 The Vakil was right, we are cold but we'll get used to it and the house looks so fresh and gay with its colours, pale walls and rugs: it smells of new wood and mountain snow, a little of wood-smoke but I put apple chips in the stove to keep the smoke fragrant. The rooms are bare and not, I have to admit, what people call comfortable but, Jon, as we had our first tea, all of us sitting round the new table - it is waxed into pale gold - using our blue cups and saucers, eating milk, honey and new bread, I felt such a tide of relief and release.

p 196 I welcome this but dread it - children, day in and day out with no relief at all, are draining. I wonder why, when children are so small, their voices are not small to match.
Profile Image for Carrie.
351 reviews5 followers
March 20, 2021
This one is tough to review. I am hit or miss on Godden's novels but am definitely drawn to her writing. This memoir is no different. At times I wanted to put it down and at other times I couldn't stop reading. She definitely led a remarkable and interesting life!
375 reviews5 followers
August 21, 2012


The beginning and ending of this book were very interesting and entertaining. The
middle was not as good.
The author's life as a young child in the "outback" of India was fascinating. Several
members of the family contracted rabies because her father insisted on keeping hunting dogs
against her mother's better judgement. The children brought up in this era of the British rule
in India faced a lot of medical perils. They also enjoyed the exotic flora, fauna and experienced the unfamiliar Indian society. Although her family seemed to have a bit more empathy for the
Indian people, I can still catch the superior attitude that was so prevalent.

Rumer and her beloved sister,Jon, traveled back and forth to England numerous times. Sometimes with their Mother and younger sisters. Like many English children they attended a boarding school where they were very unhappy and their mother immediately removed them. It seems that their mother really hated being separated from them. Their father seemed rather self-centered and self indulgent. Interesting that Rumer's first husband was the same type.

The middle of the book in which Rumer starts her writing career and teaches dancing was relatively dull when compared to her early life and her life after she returned to India with her children. She included complimentary reviews and comments from other people that served the purpose more of stroking her ego than adding interest to her story.

Her return to India with her daughters at the onset of World War II showed what a remarkable person she was. Her husband had for all practical purposes abandoned them . He had joined the army so they spent some time in a hotel for military families, then due to her daughters illness they moved to a houseboat and finally to a remote house in Kashmir.

Ms Godden life was packed with travels and experiences enough for two or three people. I
will have to read the rest of the story in her other books.

Profile Image for Christiane.
747 reviews24 followers
July 27, 2017
I love reading memoirs of extraordinary people who led extraordinary lives (usually with the result that my own life seems very boring in comparison). In Rumer Godden’s own words : “It’s no use denying it, I am not an ordinary woman”.

She lived life to the full, met every challenge and used her time well. She was active, energetic, hard-working, disciplined, unconventional, dedicated to “her gift”, adventurous, extroverted, tolerant, loyal, adaptable, impulsive and reckless. She seems to have been extraordinarily lucky, too, as every time she found herself in a dire and seemingly hopeless situation, someone or something turned up, money was offered, help was given, houses were provided, etc. And often the remedy turned out to be a blessing (the gorgeous house in Kashmir). And despite being “penniless” she always ended up buying beautiful and expensive things that spoke to her aesthetic sense.

Her impulsiveness shows in this memoir which seems to follow every thought as it arises, making her account very vivid. There are beautiful and evocative passages, especially her descriptions of the Vale of Kashmir and there are heartbreaking moments. I especially enjoyed the book because it dedicates a lot of space to some of my favourite topics : India, houses and dogs.




Profile Image for Beth.
650 reviews14 followers
April 23, 2016
Found this among the books in my husband's library. The author's name was familiar, so I delved! Autobiography of an interesting woman with a fascinating life, this book covers from about 1920 to post WWII. British family, on a roller coaster between England and India--all those long ship rides! A real insight into life in both places for a family with barely enough $$ to maintain themselves in either place. Her father spent more time hunting and fishing than parenting, husbanding (?) or working. And her life during the war was spent in India with 2 children and almost no money. Just a window into a life I certainly never knew about! She was trying to get books published along the way, no small feat for a woman at the time. She is a very good writer.
Profile Image for Donna.
168 reviews
July 31, 2011
Rumer Godden fascinates me always. This book explained the background of her novel, Kingfishers, which took place in Kashmir where she lived as a young writer, mother and woman alone. Her courage at living in a very remote area where there were few British was fueled by desperate finances. Her playboy/golf-playing ex-husband spent years not paying the bills and she wound up with them all. He even sold all their furniture without telling her!
Now I must track down her other books I've not read and those written with her sister, Jon.
Her real life interests me as much as her writing.
14 reviews
January 29, 2011
I enjoyed learning about the many facets of Ms. Godden which ran the gamut of enterprising, self-reliant survivalist to truly sensitive artist. She didn't seem to have the class awareness that some ex-pat Brits had at the time, and I admired her ability to see people without judgment of skin color, religion or occupation. I sensed she truly loved India and its people. Am now on to the "A House with Four Rooms" to finish the saga of her life.
Profile Image for Mary.
1,454 reviews13 followers
June 27, 2013
I enjoyed Black Narcissus and The House of Brede and may need to reread them now that I have read Godden's first memoir. However, I will read her second one first. What an interesting, independent and productive woman with an amazing life in India and England. I wonder if any of her children's books are in print. I might also like to see if I can find the childhood memoir she wrote with her sister Jan Godden.
Profile Image for Dorian.
81 reviews1 follower
September 2, 2014
Loved this. Think my original review was eaten by digital gnomes. Picked this up because "Miss Happiness and Miss Flower" was a formative novel in my childhood. Godden lived a fascinating life, and I found the India (specifically Kashmir)-during-WWII section particularly riveting. Glad I picked this up on a whim from the library. only shame is that it's just part one of her memoirs. Will have to try to pick up the next volume.
639 reviews
November 26, 2020
This remarkable memoir is written by an extraordinary British writer, Rumer Godden, who has brought a wealth of fiction to the 20th century. Unavailable in local libraries, but mostly for purchase on used book websites, her work is a treasure. This first half of her memoir runs from 1907-1946, and covers her love for India in poetic simplicity and specificity. On loan from a friend, I dared not crack its spine, for the contents a beyond price.
Profile Image for Allison.
206 reviews13 followers
December 8, 2010
An inspirational life well recounted. I get the feeling that while biographically very accurate and open, Rumer Godden in this memoir somewhat censored her innermost life - the emotions, etc, which are mostly evidenced in diary/correspondence excerpts. Or beautifully written in her novels, which, it turns out, are often highly autobiographical.
Profile Image for Melissa.
236 reviews30 followers
Read
April 27, 2011
The is the first volume of Rumer's Godden's memoir of her life growing up in India and England between the World Wars and becoming a writer. I enjoyed this book very much, she writes beautifully and has had such an interesting life! I look forward to reading the second volume and then some of her fiction.
Profile Image for Roberta.
1,135 reviews13 followers
June 17, 2012
I didn't like this quite a much as the first memoir, written by Rumer with her siuster Jon. Still, what an amazing story. I got exhausted just thinking about all she went through and towing two children along as well. Loved the snippets of stories she included and that insight into a writer's life. I envy her the opportunity to live it Kashmir. It sounds lovely.
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