"Alonement" is a term coined by the author which essentially refers to the positive state of being alone; of spending quality alone time that is valuable and fundamental to our well-being and sense of self. Incorporating personal anecdotes and research, it explores the benefits of being alone and the reason why many people find it so difficult to be alone. It also provides practical advice and guidance on how to do things alone and debunks many of the stereotypes of being alone, functioning as a how-to guide for people looking to develop themselves and build on their "alonement".
This book is targeted more at younger audiences and those that are not very used to spending time alone. As a self-proclaimed extrovert that spent much of her early life doing everything she could to be avoid being alone, the author discovered the benefits of "alonement" in adulthood. Her experiences are very centred on being afraid and insecure to be alone, and how she grew out of this mindset after the break-up of a long-term relationship. As a result, some of what the author discusses is common sense to those of us who, like myself, are more introverted and value alone time as a fundamental part of our lives. Personally, I still found parts of it valuable to read despite this.
Specter advocates that the only person we will be with from birth until death is ourselves, therefore we should invest wisely into the relationship we have with ourselves. This includes practicing self-care, going out publicly alone, cultivating our hobbies and passions alone, travelling alone and making regular time to be by ourselves with purpose. She argues that doing this is not only beneficial for us but for our relationships with others too. There's plenty of great research featured here which supports her points and despite having never read any other books on this topic, I'd be interested to explore the works cited here for more insight, especially because I feel like some of them may resonate with me and be more to my tastes than this book was.
It is worth noting that the book does come from a very privileged perspective and a lot of what the author discusses as being fundamental for developing "alonement" is dependent on having money e.g. travel, living alone, visiting spas etc. A lot of what's discussed also might seem next to impossible for anybody that has dependents, demanding jobs, an illness or disability etc. And this feeds into a wider issue regarding the exclusionary tone of the book; despite the author saying the book is for "everyone", I expect that a lot of people would not vibe with this book as it reads as though it was written for people that are in the same demographic as the author e.g. millennials.
This gripe aside, I did find the book to be motivational and inspirational in embracing and investing in "alonement". It's an empowering book that made me feel that I am enough by myself and it has encouraged me to do more things alone rather than relying on other people to accompany me. I think the concept of "alonement" is interesting and it's important to have more conversations around the value of being alone and developing independence.