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The Boy Who Loved Wicked
"The madness of love is the greatest of heaven's blessings." ~Plato
Day 1 of senior year at Denwin High was not supposed to end with my thoughts consumed by the new AP Philosophy teacher. I’d impatiently waited three years to take the course, but from the moment he strode in with his sad eyes that mirrored my own, I was intrigued by only him.
Dr. Sebastian Wicked.
Intrigue turned into obsession, and common interests set the stage for a tentative friendship with the enigmatic man. In time, every line put in place became blurred as what we shared sparked the flames of a forbidden affair. An affair that should've never been, a wrong that the universe sought to right.
There was only one possible outcome—we were both going to burn. Would our love rise up from the ashes? Or would it smolder in the ruins?
My name is Phoenix Michaelson, and I am the boy who loved Wicked.
Day 1 of senior year at Denwin High was not supposed to end with my thoughts consumed by the new AP Philosophy teacher. I’d impatiently waited three years to take the course, but from the moment he strode in with his sad eyes that mirrored my own, I was intrigued by only him.
Dr. Sebastian Wicked.
Intrigue turned into obsession, and common interests set the stage for a tentative friendship with the enigmatic man. In time, every line put in place became blurred as what we shared sparked the flames of a forbidden affair. An affair that should've never been, a wrong that the universe sought to right.
There was only one possible outcome—we were both going to burn. Would our love rise up from the ashes? Or would it smolder in the ruins?
My name is Phoenix Michaelson, and I am the boy who loved Wicked.
304 pages, ebook
First published March 4, 2021
346 people are currently reading
2622 people want to read
About the author
C.P. Harris
10 books1,269 followersC.P. Harris writes emotionally charged romance with a dark edge, where love is messy, possessive, and always worth the wreckage. Best known for The Good Liar and her latest release, Saving Sparrow, she crafts stories that dive deep into flawed characters and hard-won, happily-ever-afters. When not writing, she's devouring the same intense, complicated romances she loves to create. If you crave angst, obsession, and endings that hurt before they heal—C.P. Harris might just be your next favorite author.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 595 reviews
March 23, 2021
After a week of trying and trying I must give up, I'm in the minority with this book I know, but I swear I have my reasons. 50% read and no more for me. 😞😞🥲
I am fine with teacher/students relationships, I have read them before and I've had no problems, of course I have always found books where the relationship is between someone at university and their teacher, maybe that was my mistake because this one involves someone in high school *cringes*. I still think that if it was done right I wouldn't have felt like I was reading a violation, but maybe I'm just old. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I had issues with a lot of things from the get-go, so I'm gonna brake it down:
1. I liked Phoenix from page one, he's a kid who's been through stuff and that's made him closed of and isolated wich has caused him to lack street smarts and social skills, I've read people call him an old soul but to me he was just suffering.
What I mean is, and this is my mayor problem with this character, he doesn't have many experiences in his life, he hasn't dated, hasn't been kissed, hasn't gone on dates, he doesn't make new friends besides the ones he's had since he was little, he doesn't tell lies, he's an innocent person period. I know he's smart, I know he takes care of himself and even though he doesn't go out much he is independent when he has to, but he's just 18, he's lacking life and that's fine, but he's just a kid and he may like poetry but that's it, that's the only thing old or "mature" he has, a hobby that his dad taught him btw.
So we have this pure character and then...
2. Sebastián, he is a selfish walking red flag, he fell in love with a kid period, just because they can talk poetry doesn't mean anything, I can talk games/books/music with someone younger and not for that my panties are going down. I didn't feel a connection with them, it just felt like companionship, like friends, but lovers? Never. He also left his wife because of Phoenix, he said he didn't but hello hate fuck! I mean he was angry at the kid for trying to live his life and then boom, I'm gonna abuse my wife because of it? HELLO!!! RED FLAG!!
He was also possessive of the kid, he got jealous, he got aggressive I mean the guy knew:
"A dynamic I had to constantly remind myself I shouldn’t love. One that gave me control I shouldn’t want"
And he also knew Phoenix was a kid:
"As mature as Phoenix may have been, the fact of the matter was that he was still young; he couldn’t possibly grasp the magnitude of what this secret getting into the wrong hands would mean for us"
So yeah, what the hell!!!
Also there is the bigger issue of the relationship that Phoenix had with his dad and the relationship that he has with Sebastián. I don't even have to elaborate the problem, the kid's friend told him how it is:
"He’s not your father—”
“—Don’t you think I know that!”
Her lips thinned. “He’s preying on you.”
“He is not, Theory,” I said, exhausted from the conversation already.
She whirled on Danny. “And you of all people should not be okay with this. You witnessed the near destruction of your parents’ marriage. You know that getting involved with someone in the midst of a divorce is not a good idea.” She held her hand up when Danny went to argue. “Forget it. I said I wouldn’t say anything, doesn’t mean I have to like it. Let’s just go.”
Preach it girl I'm with you so hard!!!! And I totally agree Phoenix was using him to fill his dad's role, he's JUST TOO YOUNG TO REALIZE IT!! AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T PREY ON KIDS! CAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW! I'm 27 and I don't fucking know much less a kid at 18!
Besides that, there were stuff that just were eye rollers, like this gem:
"My thrusts were slow, sensual. I made love to him without bottoming out. Anymore and I’d tear him in two" Oh sorry sir! I didn't know there was a monster cock in the room, my apologies, oh my baby jesus *eye roll*
So yeah, it was WTF all the way, I wanted to keep reading to see if maybe someone smacks sense to the two of them but I just don't want to, I get bored. So that was my TedTalk, thanks for your attention. 🎤🤓🥲❤
I am fine with teacher/students relationships, I have read them before and I've had no problems, of course I have always found books where the relationship is between someone at university and their teacher, maybe that was my mistake because this one involves someone in high school *cringes*. I still think that if it was done right I wouldn't have felt like I was reading a violation, but maybe I'm just old. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I had issues with a lot of things from the get-go, so I'm gonna brake it down:
1. I liked Phoenix from page one, he's a kid who's been through stuff and that's made him closed of and isolated wich has caused him to lack street smarts and social skills, I've read people call him an old soul but to me he was just suffering.
What I mean is, and this is my mayor problem with this character, he doesn't have many experiences in his life, he hasn't dated, hasn't been kissed, hasn't gone on dates, he doesn't make new friends besides the ones he's had since he was little, he doesn't tell lies, he's an innocent person period. I know he's smart, I know he takes care of himself and even though he doesn't go out much he is independent when he has to, but he's just 18, he's lacking life and that's fine, but he's just a kid and he may like poetry but that's it, that's the only thing old or "mature" he has, a hobby that his dad taught him btw.
So we have this pure character and then...
2. Sebastián, he is a selfish walking red flag, he fell in love with a kid period, just because they can talk poetry doesn't mean anything, I can talk games/books/music with someone younger and not for that my panties are going down. I didn't feel a connection with them, it just felt like companionship, like friends, but lovers? Never. He also left his wife because of Phoenix, he said he didn't but hello hate fuck! I mean he was angry at the kid for trying to live his life and then boom, I'm gonna abuse my wife because of it? HELLO!!! RED FLAG!!
He was also possessive of the kid, he got jealous, he got aggressive I mean the guy knew:
"A dynamic I had to constantly remind myself I shouldn’t love. One that gave me control I shouldn’t want"
And he also knew Phoenix was a kid:
"As mature as Phoenix may have been, the fact of the matter was that he was still young; he couldn’t possibly grasp the magnitude of what this secret getting into the wrong hands would mean for us"
So yeah, what the hell!!!
Also there is the bigger issue of the relationship that Phoenix had with his dad and the relationship that he has with Sebastián. I don't even have to elaborate the problem, the kid's friend told him how it is:
"He’s not your father—”
“—Don’t you think I know that!”
Her lips thinned. “He’s preying on you.”
“He is not, Theory,” I said, exhausted from the conversation already.
She whirled on Danny. “And you of all people should not be okay with this. You witnessed the near destruction of your parents’ marriage. You know that getting involved with someone in the midst of a divorce is not a good idea.” She held her hand up when Danny went to argue. “Forget it. I said I wouldn’t say anything, doesn’t mean I have to like it. Let’s just go.”
Preach it girl I'm with you so hard!!!! And I totally agree Phoenix was using him to fill his dad's role, he's JUST TOO YOUNG TO REALIZE IT!! AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T PREY ON KIDS! CAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW! I'm 27 and I don't fucking know much less a kid at 18!
Besides that, there were stuff that just were eye rollers, like this gem:
"My thrusts were slow, sensual. I made love to him without bottoming out. Anymore and I’d tear him in two" Oh sorry sir! I didn't know there was a monster cock in the room, my apologies, oh my baby jesus *eye roll*
So yeah, it was WTF all the way, I wanted to keep reading to see if maybe someone smacks sense to the two of them but I just don't want to, I get bored. So that was my TedTalk, thanks for your attention. 🎤🤓🥲❤
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 6, 2023
There were many things that made me hesitant with this work—a main character still in high school, teacher-student love, extremely odd names…but it all comes together with aplomb.
I enjoyed how the author took her time with the sexual dynamic. It felt right, and earned. At first, I was concerned things seemed to be one step above fade-to-black…until they weren’t. The chemistry does become both vivid and satisfying.
The author gets an A+ for mentioning testing and the non-use of condoms. So few breach this topic, so big applause for that. Men throw things, and can become violent, when they are passionate. That is completely accurate. It’s delightful that this is not glossed over. It’s the seemingly smaller things like this—that lesser authors neglect and/or take for granted—that drive her realistic narrative and set her far apart from the pack.
I was worried when Sebastian was faced with a choice that, to me, felt like a false dichotomy. However, that also was resolved—and, again, satisfactorily.
It makes sense for Sebastian to be the one who was way more messed up. He is presented as a commanding figure, but his vulnerability slowly seeps through. It’s developed in a nuanced way that humanizes Sebastian and actually makes him more lovable.
Even for someone so young, Phoenix is extremely self-absorbed throughout much of this story. The latter parts, where he learns to (gasp) consider other people and things outside of his immediate, comfortable orbit, served to further humanize him as well.
The entire epilogue, the journal, and really the ending overall, just put the perfect, imperfect wrapping on this stellar story.
This author has a gift for expressing and bringing to life possessive, all-consuming love. She doesn’t shy away from the controversial; she embraces it, celebrates it, and makes it her own.
I enjoyed how the author took her time with the sexual dynamic. It felt right, and earned. At first, I was concerned things seemed to be one step above fade-to-black…until they weren’t. The chemistry does become both vivid and satisfying.
The author gets an A+ for mentioning testing and the non-use of condoms. So few breach this topic, so big applause for that. Men throw things, and can become violent, when they are passionate. That is completely accurate. It’s delightful that this is not glossed over. It’s the seemingly smaller things like this—that lesser authors neglect and/or take for granted—that drive her realistic narrative and set her far apart from the pack.
I was worried when Sebastian was faced with a choice that, to me, felt like a false dichotomy. However, that also was resolved—and, again, satisfactorily.
It makes sense for Sebastian to be the one who was way more messed up. He is presented as a commanding figure, but his vulnerability slowly seeps through. It’s developed in a nuanced way that humanizes Sebastian and actually makes him more lovable.
Even for someone so young, Phoenix is extremely self-absorbed throughout much of this story. The latter parts, where he learns to (gasp) consider other people and things outside of his immediate, comfortable orbit, served to further humanize him as well.
The entire epilogue, the journal, and really the ending overall, just put the perfect, imperfect wrapping on this stellar story.
This author has a gift for expressing and bringing to life possessive, all-consuming love. She doesn’t shy away from the controversial; she embraces it, celebrates it, and makes it her own.
April 8, 2023
Reread via audiobook
Even though I'm not a fan of Liam Dicosimo,he did a good job narrating. Tim Paige was good too.
The book is still marvelous ❤️
.................
Reread...
Still as amazing and poignant. I adore everything about this book.
Everyone will want to read this book!
Review to come❤
A Union of Minds, Bodies and Souls…
******SPOILER FREE REVIEW*******
******HIGHLY RECOMMENDED INEVITABILITY******
I read the first part of the book with one hand on my heart, tears in my eyes, and the knowledge that I was beginning to read something spectacular. I was right. CP has cemented herself a 1-click author for me... for many reasons. Her passion for her characters, her devotion to create the perfect book and her way with words. Poetic, Poignant, Possessive and Passionate.... Just a few words that describe how this author creates her story.
WHAT I LOVED...
1. The Characters…
Phoenix: Senior, Philosopher, Driven, Ambitious and completely unprepared for meeting Professor Sebastian Wicked. #CaughtOffguard
Phoenix broke my heart from the beginning of the prologue. He was pure and innocent, but he was also powerful and passionate. from his relationship with his late dad, to his relationship with Sebastian, he showcased a perfect Arch of growth and development.
Sebastian: Philosophy Professor, Grieving, Lonely and unaware that his life will forever be changed after meeting Phoenix. #UnderMySkin
Sebastian was larger than life in Phoenix's eye, he was a God, his very own Plato. In reality though, Sebastian was vulnerable and flawed. He needed Phoenix even more than Phoenix needed him... he needed Phoenix to heal him, resurrect him, erase his pains and fill his life with life and happiness.
The Plot…
Both characters find a kindred spirit in the other, connect at a molecular level and fall for each other’s mind and body. But Phoenix is a student, and Sebastian is his professor. Their relationship is forbidden with many obstacles but it is also inevitable. Little moments made their story unforgettable and larger moments made it memorable.#NoMatterWhat
The Romance…
It is romantic and sexy, slow and steady, organic and explosive. Phoenix brings light, laughter and love to Sebastian’s world, while Sebastian brings stability, strength and satisfaction. The give and take between Phoenix and Sebastian made all the difference. Even with Sebastian's alpha nature, the way he cherished Phoenix and was patient with him, was a way that showed that lust didn't guide him. Sebastian groomed him and empowered him, gave him the chance to grow and flourish. On the Other hand, Phoenix was the light, the childishness and the levity Sebastian needed to finally breakaway from his past . #PowerExchange
Steam-o-meter: HIGH, EXPLOSIVE, PANTY-MELTING HEAT! And what I loved was the pacing... how they didn't just fall into anal. ultimately, Phoenix was an 18-year old virgin, and he needed patience. #ColdShower
Angst-o-meter: Angsty!!! But... #ItHurtsSoGood
HEA: Hard-earned, moving and worth the wait. I loved the epilogue and it made my heart soar. The bonus scenes were just as important, just as moving and just as beautiful. #TheBeginningOfForever
Even though I'm not a fan of Liam Dicosimo,he did a good job narrating. Tim Paige was good too.
The book is still marvelous ❤️
.................
Reread...
Still as amazing and poignant. I adore everything about this book.
Everyone will want to read this book!
Review to come❤
A Union of Minds, Bodies and Souls…
******SPOILER FREE REVIEW*******
******HIGHLY RECOMMENDED INEVITABILITY******
I read the first part of the book with one hand on my heart, tears in my eyes, and the knowledge that I was beginning to read something spectacular. I was right. CP has cemented herself a 1-click author for me... for many reasons. Her passion for her characters, her devotion to create the perfect book and her way with words. Poetic, Poignant, Possessive and Passionate.... Just a few words that describe how this author creates her story.
WHAT I LOVED...
1. The Characters…
Phoenix: Senior, Philosopher, Driven, Ambitious and completely unprepared for meeting Professor Sebastian Wicked. #CaughtOffguard
Phoenix broke my heart from the beginning of the prologue. He was pure and innocent, but he was also powerful and passionate. from his relationship with his late dad, to his relationship with Sebastian, he showcased a perfect Arch of growth and development.
Sebastian: Philosophy Professor, Grieving, Lonely and unaware that his life will forever be changed after meeting Phoenix. #UnderMySkin
Sebastian was larger than life in Phoenix's eye, he was a God, his very own Plato. In reality though, Sebastian was vulnerable and flawed. He needed Phoenix even more than Phoenix needed him... he needed Phoenix to heal him, resurrect him, erase his pains and fill his life with life and happiness.
The Plot…
Both characters find a kindred spirit in the other, connect at a molecular level and fall for each other’s mind and body. But Phoenix is a student, and Sebastian is his professor. Their relationship is forbidden with many obstacles but it is also inevitable. Little moments made their story unforgettable and larger moments made it memorable.#NoMatterWhat
The Romance…
It is romantic and sexy, slow and steady, organic and explosive. Phoenix brings light, laughter and love to Sebastian’s world, while Sebastian brings stability, strength and satisfaction. The give and take between Phoenix and Sebastian made all the difference. Even with Sebastian's alpha nature, the way he cherished Phoenix and was patient with him, was a way that showed that lust didn't guide him. Sebastian groomed him and empowered him, gave him the chance to grow and flourish. On the Other hand, Phoenix was the light, the childishness and the levity Sebastian needed to finally breakaway from his past . #PowerExchange
Steam-o-meter: HIGH, EXPLOSIVE, PANTY-MELTING HEAT! And what I loved was the pacing... how they didn't just fall into anal. ultimately, Phoenix was an 18-year old virgin, and he needed patience. #ColdShower
Angst-o-meter: Angsty!!! But... #ItHurtsSoGood
HEA: Hard-earned, moving and worth the wait. I loved the epilogue and it made my heart soar. The bonus scenes were just as important, just as moving and just as beautiful. #TheBeginningOfForever
November 23, 2022
This was not for me. Cheesy, melodramatic, unrealistic. The characters are not well developed. They spoke in odd, overly formal ways and the dialog was so cheesy (I know I already used this adjective but I can't stress it enough).
I was bored by 22% and started skimming. I only finished because I wanted to know who Caleb was. (I was hoping Phoenix moved on and found someone less douchey than Sebastián).
Also.......I'm not sure how other reviewers are skipping over the predatory nature of their relationship. Yes, Phoenix was 18 but he was very naive, very innocent and Sebastián used that to get him in to an imbalanced relationship. I'm not sure what's sexy or romantic about this. I could write a thesis on why women keep romanticizing abuse but whatever......to each their own & all that.
Sebastian was a jerk in every way. He lied constantly. He cheated on his wife. He broke his teacher employment ethics. He seduced/abused a teenager (you can call it romance but it's like that saying "you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig" this is not romance. it's abuse) I'm REALLY tired of awful human beings being portrayed as love interests. `
Save yourself the hours of your life you'll lose by reading this and just watch an episode of To Catch a Predator. Less time invested.....more of a reward
I was bored by 22% and started skimming. I only finished because I wanted to know who Caleb was. (I was hoping Phoenix moved on and found someone less douchey than Sebastián).
Also.......I'm not sure how other reviewers are skipping over the predatory nature of their relationship. Yes, Phoenix was 18 but he was very naive, very innocent and Sebastián used that to get him in to an imbalanced relationship. I'm not sure what's sexy or romantic about this. I could write a thesis on why women keep romanticizing abuse but whatever......to each their own & all that.
Sebastian was a jerk in every way. He lied constantly. He cheated on his wife. He broke his teacher employment ethics. He seduced/abused a teenager (you can call it romance but it's like that saying "you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig" this is not romance. it's abuse) I'm REALLY tired of awful human beings being portrayed as love interests. `
Save yourself the hours of your life you'll lose by reading this and just watch an episode of To Catch a Predator. Less time invested.....more of a reward
March 12, 2021
4.5 Stars!
Really enjoyed this one, despite the whole waiting for the shoe to drop feeling I had most of the first half.
Great writing.
Great characters with great chemistry and connection.
Lots of emotions.
Age-gap.
Fade to black-ish type sex was a bit disappointing. But chemistry between Sebastian and Phoenix more than made up for it.
Highly recommend this one and definitely will be looking for more fromt this author!
Really enjoyed this one, despite the whole waiting for the shoe to drop feeling I had most of the first half.
Great writing.
Great characters with great chemistry and connection.
Lots of emotions.
Age-gap.
Fade to black-ish type sex was a bit disappointing. But chemistry between Sebastian and Phoenix more than made up for it.
Highly recommend this one and definitely will be looking for more fromt this author!
July 7, 2021
3.5 stars. I am very ambivalent about this book. I may still change my rating. So wrong. So good. But I had a few niggles.
The feelings. So many feelings.
For the first part of the book, I was watching with fascination and discomfort as Sebastian and Phoenix were circling around each other. When they started their relationship, I couldn't help but think that if Phoenix was 17, I'd be horrified at the predator grooming him. Yet, since he was 18, it was a romance? It was so wrong. Yet at the same time, it gave me so many feelings. It was a fucked up relationship for sure. Phoenix is young and innocent. Sebastian is older, married, and his teacher. Jealous. Controlling. Obsessed.
In Sebastian's words:
Leaving high school represented a new level of independence for Phoenix. It also, in his mind, represented the end of our unbalanced power dynamic in a sense. A dynamic I had to constantly remind myself I shouldn’t love. One that gave me control I shouldn’t want.
I also feel like the author was trying to make us uncomfortable, to play up the taboo factor, and Phoenix's youth.
I sought out Phoenix who busied himself making snow angels in the yard, something I declined to participate in.
Yet their breakup broke my heart. I wanted love to win, no matter how wrong that love was.
We were battered and bloodied. There were more bruises than orgasms and every second felt borrowed. Stolen. We were criminals. We were toxic. We were fearless for the last time. We were beautiful for the last time too.
I loved watching them both grow up while apart, no matter how heartbreaking it was. I loved that their dynamic changed as they grew, but they didn't lose their love.
“Our trials are what strengthen us. And we are unbreakable now, my love.”
Now the bad
I felt like the writing was overdone, trying too hard, flowery, pretentious. Yes, I said it. And the characters too. Nobody talks like that all the time. Nobody is so obsessed with philosophy that they have deep conversations every day. Every night. All day long. All night long. People also just watch crappy TV and make stupid jokes.
The child. It's like the author never met a 3yo. My eyes were rolling so hard at his "Aris-toe-toe." I wanted to scream. Don't be scared off though, maybe just skip the Bonus scenes at the end.
The feelings. So many feelings.
For the first part of the book, I was watching with fascination and discomfort as Sebastian and Phoenix were circling around each other. When they started their relationship, I couldn't help but think that if Phoenix was 17, I'd be horrified at the predator grooming him. Yet, since he was 18, it was a romance? It was so wrong. Yet at the same time, it gave me so many feelings. It was a fucked up relationship for sure. Phoenix is young and innocent. Sebastian is older, married, and his teacher. Jealous. Controlling. Obsessed.
In Sebastian's words:
Leaving high school represented a new level of independence for Phoenix. It also, in his mind, represented the end of our unbalanced power dynamic in a sense. A dynamic I had to constantly remind myself I shouldn’t love. One that gave me control I shouldn’t want.
I also feel like the author was trying to make us uncomfortable, to play up the taboo factor, and Phoenix's youth.
I sought out Phoenix who busied himself making snow angels in the yard, something I declined to participate in.
Yet their breakup broke my heart. I wanted love to win, no matter how wrong that love was.
We were battered and bloodied. There were more bruises than orgasms and every second felt borrowed. Stolen. We were criminals. We were toxic. We were fearless for the last time. We were beautiful for the last time too.
I loved watching them both grow up while apart, no matter how heartbreaking it was. I loved that their dynamic changed as they grew, but they didn't lose their love.
“Our trials are what strengthen us. And we are unbreakable now, my love.”
Now the bad
I felt like the writing was overdone, trying too hard, flowery, pretentious. Yes, I said it. And the characters too. Nobody talks like that all the time. Nobody is so obsessed with philosophy that they have deep conversations every day. Every night. All day long. All night long. People also just watch crappy TV and make stupid jokes.
The child. It's like the author never met a 3yo. My eyes were rolling so hard at his "Aris-toe-toe." I wanted to scream. Don't be scared off though, maybe just skip the Bonus scenes at the end.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 9, 2021
At 4%, I shed my first tear for Phoenix. After that first tear, I had to make a decision:
Do I continue this story that will utterly destroy me?
I don’t know if I made the right decision, because at 5%, I was a sobbing mess. When the prologue of a book makes you cry, you know you’re in for a world of hurt.
Phoenix lost his father too early. His larger-than-life, philosophical father who taught him to love big and listen to Plato and Socrates, because they’d show him the way.
Phoenix has been unintentionally searching his whole life to gain the connection he had with his father.
And Sebastian Wicked filled that role splendidly. Of course the brooding AP philosophy teacher with the sad eyes and dimpled chin caught Phoenix in a world wind of hero-worship.
Full disclosure. I could not stand Mr Sebastian Wicked for half the book. I wanted to wring his neck and hug him at the same time. His sadness spoke to Phoenix’s.
“I fell in love with his sadness first.”
Phoenix was 18 and mature for his age. But that doesn’t mean Sebastian didn’t take advantage of the situation. He was up front about his darkness, about wanting to own him and possess him. And Phoenix was oh so happy to let him.
Near 40%, I compared the boy who loved Wicked to a beautifully orchestrated car crash I couldn’t look away from.
These two were toxic, but their love was real. And the wonderful thing here was they both had so much character development, that by the end of the book, they were no longer toxic. Their happily ever after was well fought for.
This was a hard book to read. So much melancholy and angst, but the poetic way it was written left me breathless. This wasn’t a swoony, easy romance. This was rough and real and completely and utterly human. It made me look into myself, question morals, so I think it deserves five stars.
Did I love it? That’s debatable. But it made me feel things, and although they weren’t nice feelings most of the time, I’m still sitting here, taking time out of my night to write this review.
Do I continue this story that will utterly destroy me?
I don’t know if I made the right decision, because at 5%, I was a sobbing mess. When the prologue of a book makes you cry, you know you’re in for a world of hurt.
Phoenix lost his father too early. His larger-than-life, philosophical father who taught him to love big and listen to Plato and Socrates, because they’d show him the way.
Phoenix has been unintentionally searching his whole life to gain the connection he had with his father.
And Sebastian Wicked filled that role splendidly. Of course the brooding AP philosophy teacher with the sad eyes and dimpled chin caught Phoenix in a world wind of hero-worship.
Full disclosure. I could not stand Mr Sebastian Wicked for half the book. I wanted to wring his neck and hug him at the same time. His sadness spoke to Phoenix’s.
“I fell in love with his sadness first.”
Phoenix was 18 and mature for his age. But that doesn’t mean Sebastian didn’t take advantage of the situation. He was up front about his darkness, about wanting to own him and possess him. And Phoenix was oh so happy to let him.
Near 40%, I compared the boy who loved Wicked to a beautifully orchestrated car crash I couldn’t look away from.
These two were toxic, but their love was real. And the wonderful thing here was they both had so much character development, that by the end of the book, they were no longer toxic. Their happily ever after was well fought for.
This was a hard book to read. So much melancholy and angst, but the poetic way it was written left me breathless. This wasn’t a swoony, easy romance. This was rough and real and completely and utterly human. It made me look into myself, question morals, so I think it deserves five stars.
Did I love it? That’s debatable. But it made me feel things, and although they weren’t nice feelings most of the time, I’m still sitting here, taking time out of my night to write this review.
May 15, 2023
Audio - I struggle with Liam Dicosimo's narration, and he ended up narrating most of this book. Unfortunately, it effected my enjoyment of the story.
LD - 2 stars
TP - 5 Stars
Story - 3.75 Stars
LD - 2 stars
TP - 5 Stars
Story - 3.75 Stars
September 17, 2022
I've never been so happy to finish a book. I'm so over it. 🥲I was torn between a one or two stars. I HATED all of the main characters. None of them were likeable. The writing was poetic and lyrical but everything else is just meh. Both mmc were broken and melachnoic which was why they were so attracted to each other. I was interested in this premise but the characters were just UGH. The book was also so predictable, I guessed everything right. Idk if it was supposed to be like that but I didnt like it.
SPOILERS
Phoenix was a terrible son to his mother (ungrateful and not understanding he lowkey blamed his mother for just not being his dad and he did not appreciate her efforts. I am an Asian and this is unacceptable), a trash friend (he got annoyed of his friend's attempt to help him and when he got with Sebastian, he isolated himself. He also kept saying how his friends don't understand him and they're just together only because of their differences in society). I found it laughable when Sebastian left Phoenix and Phoenix came to the realization that his friends Theory and Danny was starting to expand their circles. Then he became desperate and realized his faults. I wanted his friends to leave him tbh. Also, he kept cheating with Sebastian even though Sebastian was married. If he was really such a 'beautiful', 'lovely' boy. He wouldn't be doing this and he should have had morals. Instead, he was disgusting, a hypocrite (acting all matured and whatnot). He also used the guy who liked him to make Sebastian jealous. Did I like it? Yes of course lol. The jealousy scene was the only part I enjoyed in this book. When Seb left him, Phoenix used Mason to make Seb jealous and boy I was all for it. Phoenix apparently likes Sebastian because of the melancholy air, and philosophy stuff which is like wtf. I mean Phoenix did become more mature but I still did not like him lol. Phoenix also loves to secretly use binoculars to spy on Emily and Sebastian. Honestly, if he wasn't 18, he would've been condemned for being a creepy stalker instead of a curious and cute boy. Which led to him finding out about Emily being pregnant but he wanted to hide that from Sebastian. Understandable but still made me dislike him. Phoenix was also dramatic asf when it comes to Sebastian. 🙄🙄
Next. Sebastian. 36 years old. I don't even know what was likeable about him. His jaw is described as 'sharp enough to cut glass' (should've been a red flag to me lmao jkjk) Anyways, he had no redeeming qualities. Weak, selfish, toxic and petty. He was supposed to be mature but he was like a kid. Yelling and running away when things doesn't go his way.😒
He was also a terrible lover and husband (he 'fucked' Emily, his wife when he was jealous of Phoenix with someone else AND he also fucked her as if she was a tool if this was an mf romance it would've been horrible because he imagined fucking Phoenix when he was fucking his wife) Another reason I did not like him was Sebastian was supposed to be a professional teacher however, when he got jealous of Phoenix or when he wanted to avoid Phoenix because of problems, he just ignores Phoenix when he raises his hand in class or tries to say anything. I mean that is so unprofessional, to bring your emotions into your career. No thanks. He's also indecisive and puts everything else before his partners. He is a debbie downer, party pooper, mood killer loser. His sadness over his ex is just ugh. I get why people would like this book. It was written beautifully tbh. HOWEVER, everything else was just frustrating. The characters would bring up Socrates, Plato, and philosophy in every chapter I know they bond over communicating about such topic but it was TOO MUCH FOR ME. They would even bring it into an argument. 🙄
“You haven’t lived. You don’t understand.” I shook my head. The lump at the lip of my throat screamed to break free. “Every action has its pleasure and its price.” We were wrong and we would pay for this.
“Socrates was just a man, not God!” he screamed. “He wasn’t always right.”
Another thing I hated about the age gap aspect here was "Why is it that because he is older, he is entitled to be the one who makes the decision alone."
“He exuded an innocence that reminded me of a clean slate; an opportunity to get things right”
This line by Sebastian literally conveys how Seb sees Phoenix as a blank sheet where he can use Phoenix to cleanse himself and forget about his sad past
“I shouldn’t be here. I was no good to the punchbowl anyway. If someone wanted to spike it, they’d meet no resistance from me. Yet, I couldn’t leave. He hadn’t noticed me, and blended into the dark as I was, I psyched myself into believing I could stay and harmlessly watch him.
He wore his hair slicked into a bun with product, and his face was maskless. It left his delicate features unobscured, and the brightness of his eyes took center stage. They were bold and blue and misty, and although a frown marred his lips, the corners of my trembling mouth lifted at the handsome picture he made.
The young man I’d once caught Phoenix in a compromising position with called his name. Mr. Mason Jones.”
I LIVED FOR THIS SCENE LMAO. My toxic trait is to watch Sebastian get jealous because he deserves to be.😂🤣
Jealous?” I pursued his fluttering gaze. “How did you think this breakup would play out, Sebastian? That I’d be celibate the rest of my life?”
“No I—”
“That I wouldn’t allow anyone to erase your touch?”
“No—”
“Erase the imprint of your cock inside of me?”
“Enough!” He slashed a hand through the air. “No one touches you but me.” His glass ricocheted off the wall, shattering onto an already thriving pile of shards.”
The characters were also annoying asf. Their love was unrealistic and dramatic. The writing was amazing but yea. That was it.
SPOILERS
Phoenix was a terrible son to his mother (ungrateful and not understanding he lowkey blamed his mother for just not being his dad and he did not appreciate her efforts. I am an Asian and this is unacceptable), a trash friend (he got annoyed of his friend's attempt to help him and when he got with Sebastian, he isolated himself. He also kept saying how his friends don't understand him and they're just together only because of their differences in society). I found it laughable when Sebastian left Phoenix and Phoenix came to the realization that his friends Theory and Danny was starting to expand their circles. Then he became desperate and realized his faults. I wanted his friends to leave him tbh. Also, he kept cheating with Sebastian even though Sebastian was married. If he was really such a 'beautiful', 'lovely' boy. He wouldn't be doing this and he should have had morals. Instead, he was disgusting, a hypocrite (acting all matured and whatnot). He also used the guy who liked him to make Sebastian jealous. Did I like it? Yes of course lol. The jealousy scene was the only part I enjoyed in this book. When Seb left him, Phoenix used Mason to make Seb jealous and boy I was all for it. Phoenix apparently likes Sebastian because of the melancholy air, and philosophy stuff which is like wtf. I mean Phoenix did become more mature but I still did not like him lol. Phoenix also loves to secretly use binoculars to spy on Emily and Sebastian. Honestly, if he wasn't 18, he would've been condemned for being a creepy stalker instead of a curious and cute boy. Which led to him finding out about Emily being pregnant but he wanted to hide that from Sebastian. Understandable but still made me dislike him. Phoenix was also dramatic asf when it comes to Sebastian. 🙄🙄
Next. Sebastian. 36 years old. I don't even know what was likeable about him. His jaw is described as 'sharp enough to cut glass' (should've been a red flag to me lmao jkjk) Anyways, he had no redeeming qualities. Weak, selfish, toxic and petty. He was supposed to be mature but he was like a kid. Yelling and running away when things doesn't go his way.😒
He was also a terrible lover and husband (he 'fucked' Emily, his wife when he was jealous of Phoenix with someone else AND he also fucked her as if she was a tool if this was an mf romance it would've been horrible because he imagined fucking Phoenix when he was fucking his wife) Another reason I did not like him was Sebastian was supposed to be a professional teacher however, when he got jealous of Phoenix or when he wanted to avoid Phoenix because of problems, he just ignores Phoenix when he raises his hand in class or tries to say anything. I mean that is so unprofessional, to bring your emotions into your career. No thanks. He's also indecisive and puts everything else before his partners. He is a debbie downer, party pooper, mood killer loser. His sadness over his ex is just ugh. I get why people would like this book. It was written beautifully tbh. HOWEVER, everything else was just frustrating. The characters would bring up Socrates, Plato, and philosophy in every chapter I know they bond over communicating about such topic but it was TOO MUCH FOR ME. They would even bring it into an argument. 🙄
“You haven’t lived. You don’t understand.” I shook my head. The lump at the lip of my throat screamed to break free. “Every action has its pleasure and its price.” We were wrong and we would pay for this.
“Socrates was just a man, not God!” he screamed. “He wasn’t always right.”
Another thing I hated about the age gap aspect here was "Why is it that because he is older, he is entitled to be the one who makes the decision alone."
“He exuded an innocence that reminded me of a clean slate; an opportunity to get things right”
This line by Sebastian literally conveys how Seb sees Phoenix as a blank sheet where he can use Phoenix to cleanse himself and forget about his sad past
“I shouldn’t be here. I was no good to the punchbowl anyway. If someone wanted to spike it, they’d meet no resistance from me. Yet, I couldn’t leave. He hadn’t noticed me, and blended into the dark as I was, I psyched myself into believing I could stay and harmlessly watch him.
He wore his hair slicked into a bun with product, and his face was maskless. It left his delicate features unobscured, and the brightness of his eyes took center stage. They were bold and blue and misty, and although a frown marred his lips, the corners of my trembling mouth lifted at the handsome picture he made.
The young man I’d once caught Phoenix in a compromising position with called his name. Mr. Mason Jones.”
I LIVED FOR THIS SCENE LMAO. My toxic trait is to watch Sebastian get jealous because he deserves to be.😂🤣
Jealous?” I pursued his fluttering gaze. “How did you think this breakup would play out, Sebastian? That I’d be celibate the rest of my life?”
“No I—”
“That I wouldn’t allow anyone to erase your touch?”
“No—”
“Erase the imprint of your cock inside of me?”
“Enough!” He slashed a hand through the air. “No one touches you but me.” His glass ricocheted off the wall, shattering onto an already thriving pile of shards.”
The characters were also annoying asf. Their love was unrealistic and dramatic. The writing was amazing but yea. That was it.
Want to read
March 3, 2021Tomorrow!!!
May 2, 2021
Oh, look! I finally managed to finish this one.
Um, so… unpopular opinion ahead, I guess, because it seems everyone and their grandma loved this book.
I did not. I liked the first half (or thereabouts) well enough — it was a bit too purple prosey, but I don’t mind that occasionally and I thought it would be a solid 4-star read. Around the halfway mark, though, I felt like the story started to drag and became somewhat repetitive. Likewise, in the beginning Phoenix seemed like a pretty interesting MC, but after a while, reading his philosophically-advanced POV became simply too exhausting for my apparently pea-brained self. Sebastian’s POV was similar in that aspect, only with more angst thrown in. Fun.
As you can expect, their love story was melodramatic AF. We can’t be together, we have to be together, but we can’t, etc, etc… And then, the author decided that this, this ‘plot twist’ would be a good idea? It was unimaginative, unoriginal, and — you got it — added even more angst to this story, so I guess it did its job…
I admit to skimming the last few chapters — which I never do — but I don't think I would’ve managed to finish this otherwise. 🙈 The story went incredibly mushy then, and I was so done!
So, I’d say my rating is actually a mean of two ratings: four for the first half, and two for the second half.
If you like tons of drama in your books (and I mean, tons), go for it.
Um, so… unpopular opinion ahead, I guess, because it seems everyone and their grandma loved this book.
I did not. I liked the first half (or thereabouts) well enough — it was a bit too purple prosey, but I don’t mind that occasionally and I thought it would be a solid 4-star read. Around the halfway mark, though, I felt like the story started to drag and became somewhat repetitive. Likewise, in the beginning Phoenix seemed like a pretty interesting MC, but after a while, reading his philosophically-advanced POV became simply too exhausting for my apparently pea-brained self. Sebastian’s POV was similar in that aspect, only with more angst thrown in. Fun.
As you can expect, their love story was melodramatic AF. We can’t be together, we have to be together, but we can’t, etc, etc… And then, the author decided that this, this ‘plot twist’ would be a good idea? It was unimaginative, unoriginal, and — you got it — added even more angst to this story, so I guess it did its job…
I admit to skimming the last few chapters — which I never do — but I don't think I would’ve managed to finish this otherwise. 🙈 The story went incredibly mushy then, and I was so done!
So, I’d say my rating is actually a mean of two ratings: four for the first half, and two for the second half.
If you like tons of drama in your books (and I mean, tons), go for it.
May 27, 2023
4 stars! 🥰❤️ Loved this emotional roller-coaster of a story. The plot was melancholy and angsty in parts, hot and steamy in places, gut-wrenching and heartbreaking too; but eventually happy and hopeful. 💖The MCs are likable.., but not perfect. Their relationship is kinda taboo, since Sebastian is Phoenix’s high school teacher when they first meet and Sebastian is still technically married to his wife. 😱 But there’s an inescapable sadness to him that attracts Phoenix. They are ages apart but kindred souls finding comfort in philosophers teachings while trying to move on from losing a loved one 😢. But the relationship comes with a ticking clock.. can it sustain the test of time?
To be honest, although I loved how engrossing the story was; I think I’m sensing a pattern in CPH’s books. The MCs turmoil and vulnerabilities, the possessiveness and jealousies, the at times rough and sometimes tender sex.. it’s quite similar. But I still enjoyed it.. because it’s very well written. ❤️👌 Highly recommended to all fans of angsty age-gap M/M romances. 👍🏻👍🏻
To be honest, although I loved how engrossing the story was; I think I’m sensing a pattern in CPH’s books. The MCs turmoil and vulnerabilities, the possessiveness and jealousies, the at times rough and sometimes tender sex.. it’s quite similar. But I still enjoyed it.. because it’s very well written. ❤️👌 Highly recommended to all fans of angsty age-gap M/M romances. 👍🏻👍🏻
March 6, 2021
"We were battered and bloodied. There were more bruises than orgasms and every second felt borrowed. Stolen. We were criminals. We were toxic. We were fearless for the last time. We were beautiful for the last time too."
This book... oh my god where do I even begin? If there's one book that I would gladly shove down to anyone's throat, this is it. Harris crafted a top tier romance right here. The writing style emits an abundance of emotions that tested my resolve all through out. I teared up most of it and cried tears of happiness because of the ending. This is a whirlwind of a romance between a high school senior named Phoenix Michaelson and his political philosophy teacher Mr. Sebastian Wicked. I thought at first these are just some horndogs going at it with each other on a typical taboo setting. It was taboo alright but at the same time so much more than that. This book, hands down, is the best one that I have read this year.
July 11, 2021
An angsty teacher-student forbidden relationship story (the student is 18) with two flawed main characters who latch onto each other in a passion that is as abrupt and intense as it is a bad idea. Phoenix is touch-starved and mentor-starved after the death of his philosophy-professor father, who was the nurturer in his family. He sees his attractive new high school philosophy teacher, and in the span of a few interactions, where his philosophical aspirations are taken seriously and encouraged, he becomes intrigued. It turns out the teacher, Sebastian Wicked, lives in the house behind his, and nights spent spying on him both increase Phoenix's attraction, and show him that Mr. Wicked's marriage does not appear to be a happy one.
Sebastian is still, down underneath, grieving a young, optimistic version of himself, and the doomed boy he loved back then. Phoenix's youth, his intelligence, his admiration, and his neediness, match needs of Sebastian's own. And against all his common sense, he begins to spend more and more time with Phoenix outside of school. Eventually, the inevitable happens.
This book is an intense, angsty, emotion-laden ride from irrational beginnings to a solid HEA. Both main characters are so isolated (despite Phoenix's best friends, and Sebastian's wife) that they come together like the two survivors on a desert island, investing every bit of their passion and intellect in each other. Both are jealous, and sometimes irrational. I really appreciated the friends in this book, as they injected a bit of balance and a reality check into the situation. The slow burn on the physical side, to balance the fast-leap on the emotional one, is also well done.
The plot twist in the middle that gives the story a big helping of more angst annoyed me a bit. This is the second student-teacher book I read where the older man, after claiming that the relationship is okay because they are equal enough to be a match, turns around and makes an arbitrary choice for both of them, without discussion, without compromise, and in an absolute and hurtful way like he was entitled to do so by virtue of who he was. Unlike the other book (which I 1-starred) this time, Sebastien was messed up enough mentally and emotionally to make it believable, and there was a plausible impetus.
But for all the rest of the book, I wanted some acknowledgement from him of how badly he'd screwed that up. I wanted the moment that regained equality for them. And instead, his actions got a pass as a reasonable choice. So while the ending begins to work out in a plausible way, and becomes warm and sweet and settled, it was not quite as satisfying as it might have been for me.
A talented author, with the ability to create an emotionally compelling story, though. If you like damaged heroes, intense codependent passion, age gap, jealousy, and a solid HEA, try this one.
Sebastian is still, down underneath, grieving a young, optimistic version of himself, and the doomed boy he loved back then. Phoenix's youth, his intelligence, his admiration, and his neediness, match needs of Sebastian's own. And against all his common sense, he begins to spend more and more time with Phoenix outside of school. Eventually, the inevitable happens.
This book is an intense, angsty, emotion-laden ride from irrational beginnings to a solid HEA. Both main characters are so isolated (despite Phoenix's best friends, and Sebastian's wife) that they come together like the two survivors on a desert island, investing every bit of their passion and intellect in each other. Both are jealous, and sometimes irrational. I really appreciated the friends in this book, as they injected a bit of balance and a reality check into the situation. The slow burn on the physical side, to balance the fast-leap on the emotional one, is also well done.
The plot twist in the middle that gives the story a big helping of more angst annoyed me a bit. This is the second student-teacher book I read where the older man, after claiming that the relationship is okay because they are equal enough to be a match, turns around and makes an arbitrary choice for both of them, without discussion, without compromise, and in an absolute and hurtful way like he was entitled to do so by virtue of who he was. Unlike the other book (which I 1-starred) this time, Sebastien was messed up enough mentally and emotionally to make it believable, and there was a plausible impetus.
But for all the rest of the book, I wanted some acknowledgement from him of how badly he'd screwed that up. I wanted the moment that regained equality for them. And instead, his actions got a pass as a reasonable choice. So while the ending begins to work out in a plausible way, and becomes warm and sweet and settled, it was not quite as satisfying as it might have been for me.
A talented author, with the ability to create an emotionally compelling story, though. If you like damaged heroes, intense codependent passion, age gap, jealousy, and a solid HEA, try this one.
March 20, 2024
3.5/5⭐ 2.5/5🌶️ 2/5😱 4/5😭
This book was... a lot.
It gave philosophy, nerdy high school kids, repressed natures, weird familial systems and unrealistic pining, and it gave it all in dark academia setting, through beautiful writing.
This book is about Phoenix (18) and his love for his high school teacher, Sebastian (36).
So we start off with quite an age gap. Age gaps aren't my favorite, but I knew what i was getting myself into so i didn't mind. What i was feeling very uncomfy about in the first 25% was the innocence and childlike purity with which Phoenix was portrayed. He was a boy, a child - believable, yes, but also corruptable, his character was the most vulnerable representation of a high school student turn the object of his teacher's desires and sexual advances that i have read of in a while, and that made me feel like when Theory (Phoenix's friend) said that Sebastian was preying on him - i wholeheartedly agreed with her.
Sebastian's character was not created predatory though. He was a sad man, gay and in forced arrange marriage situation with a woman, with painful past. My issue with him was that i didn't understand the infatuation he had with Phoenix. He (Phoenix) was young and beautiful. And he loved Sebastian unconditionally (why???). They shared a love for philosophy. That was really it for Sebastian, while for Phoenix, it seemed like his love for Wicked was based on missing his father in his life. Somehow, the daddy issues basis for a relationship work better in my head within in a straight couple, and in MM romance, it made me uncomfortable. This is a me-issue, but objectively Phoenix was a child for the first part of their relationship.
I appreciate this cover more than the one i have, because the BOY on my cover is a BOY. And yes, i know he is 18, but i struggle with 18 yo's with OF accounts, looking like they really are underage as well, the model for the cover was chosen close to the book's essence, but i was feeling very ICKY about it.
Now that i got my main criticism out of the way, the writing was wonderful. Never once did i want to quit the book. C.P. Harris took 3rd act breakup to the next level, and it lasted for half of the entire story. The spice was not detailed enough for my taste and had serious fade-to-black energy most of the time. Basically, the story was fine, the writing was beautiful, but the way the relationship development was executed was not fantastic.
I would recommend if you like your MM with
🚸Age gap (18 years)
🚸Low spice
🚸Dark academia setting
🚸Coming of age
🚸Unconditional love themes
🚸Lots of references to ancient philosophers
This book was... a lot.
It gave philosophy, nerdy high school kids, repressed natures, weird familial systems and unrealistic pining, and it gave it all in dark academia setting, through beautiful writing.
This book is about Phoenix (18) and his love for his high school teacher, Sebastian (36).
So we start off with quite an age gap. Age gaps aren't my favorite, but I knew what i was getting myself into so i didn't mind. What i was feeling very uncomfy about in the first 25% was the innocence and childlike purity with which Phoenix was portrayed. He was a boy, a child - believable, yes, but also corruptable, his character was the most vulnerable representation of a high school student turn the object of his teacher's desires and sexual advances that i have read of in a while, and that made me feel like when Theory (Phoenix's friend) said that Sebastian was preying on him - i wholeheartedly agreed with her.
Sebastian's character was not created predatory though. He was a sad man, gay and in forced arrange marriage situation with a woman, with painful past. My issue with him was that i didn't understand the infatuation he had with Phoenix. He (Phoenix) was young and beautiful. And he loved Sebastian unconditionally (why???). They shared a love for philosophy. That was really it for Sebastian, while for Phoenix, it seemed like his love for Wicked was based on missing his father in his life. Somehow, the daddy issues basis for a relationship work better in my head within in a straight couple, and in MM romance, it made me uncomfortable. This is a me-issue, but objectively Phoenix was a child for the first part of their relationship.
I appreciate this cover more than the one i have, because the BOY on my cover is a BOY. And yes, i know he is 18, but i struggle with 18 yo's with OF accounts, looking like they really are underage as well, the model for the cover was chosen close to the book's essence, but i was feeling very ICKY about it.
Now that i got my main criticism out of the way, the writing was wonderful. Never once did i want to quit the book. C.P. Harris took 3rd act breakup to the next level, and it lasted for half of the entire story. The spice was not detailed enough for my taste and had serious fade-to-black energy most of the time. Basically, the story was fine, the writing was beautiful, but the way the relationship development was executed was not fantastic.
I would recommend if you like your MM with
🚸Age gap (18 years)
🚸Low spice
🚸Dark academia setting
🚸Coming of age
🚸Unconditional love themes
🚸Lots of references to ancient philosophers
March 7, 2021
I LOVED this book! It had lots of angst, romance, hurt-comfort, two journeys of self-discovery, and a love that seemed to be destined. If you believe in soulmates that’s what Phoenix and Sebastian clearly are, but the timing just couldn't be worse.
Sebastian first falls for Pheonix’s mind, his passion for philosophy, his ability to have an intelligent discussion and defend his views, but soon starts falling for Phoenix himself. His 18 year old student. He knows it can’t happen, but he’s helpless to stop it. Sebastian has a lifetime of guilt hanging over him and holding him back and issues stemming from the way he was raised. He's a shell of a man until Phoenix shines a light on him.
Phoenix hasn’t gotten over the death of his father a decade ago. The man who raised him to be the inquisitive, passionate student he is. The parent who held him and loved him with all he had. His dream of taking AP Philosophy and then going onto the college where his father taught and to follow in his footsteps was cemented at an early age. When Professor Wicked takes over the class and moves into the house next door, Phoenix can’t help but start up a friendship with the man. Nightly meetings on Sebastian’s patio where the two discuss philosophy quickly intensify Phoenix's desire for the older, sad man.
Both immediately fall for each other emotionally, the physical comes later. Phoenix jumps in with all the fire and intensity of a teenager finding their first love. Sebastian falls hard and becomes obsessed. They know it’s a forbidden relationship fraught with problems and that the potential – and likely – outcome could be devastating. They talk. A lot. They aren’t blind to what’s going on, but they also can’t fathom not being together. But as they both know, life doesn’t play fair and Sebastian finds himself having to make an unimaginable decision that leaves them both reeling and forces them to face both their pasts and their futures and really be honest with themselves.
I would have read this in one sitting, but found myself putting it down about halfway through when a plotline that is in my top three hated reared its ugly head. I honestly feared that this book would be ruined for me. Happily, the author took the story in an unexpected direction and I was all in again. With all the issues addressed, there were so many ways this book could have gone wrong for me , but C.P. Harris made it all work.
This was an emotional rollercoaster and I didn't want the ride to end. There were so many ups and downs and the intensity of the men's feelings poured off of every page. I was completely sucked in from page one and was rooting for them even when I shouldn't have been and I adored the very happy ending and the bonus scenes. Highly recommended, especially if you like it when your couples really have to work for that happy ever after.
Sebastian first falls for Pheonix’s mind, his passion for philosophy, his ability to have an intelligent discussion and defend his views, but soon starts falling for Phoenix himself. His 18 year old student. He knows it can’t happen, but he’s helpless to stop it. Sebastian has a lifetime of guilt hanging over him and holding him back and issues stemming from the way he was raised. He's a shell of a man until Phoenix shines a light on him.
Phoenix hasn’t gotten over the death of his father a decade ago. The man who raised him to be the inquisitive, passionate student he is. The parent who held him and loved him with all he had. His dream of taking AP Philosophy and then going onto the college where his father taught and to follow in his footsteps was cemented at an early age. When Professor Wicked takes over the class and moves into the house next door, Phoenix can’t help but start up a friendship with the man. Nightly meetings on Sebastian’s patio where the two discuss philosophy quickly intensify Phoenix's desire for the older, sad man.
Both immediately fall for each other emotionally, the physical comes later. Phoenix jumps in with all the fire and intensity of a teenager finding their first love. Sebastian falls hard and becomes obsessed. They know it’s a forbidden relationship fraught with problems and that the potential – and likely – outcome could be devastating. They talk. A lot. They aren’t blind to what’s going on, but they also can’t fathom not being together. But as they both know, life doesn’t play fair and Sebastian finds himself having to make an unimaginable decision that leaves them both reeling and forces them to face both their pasts and their futures and really be honest with themselves.
I would have read this in one sitting, but found myself putting it down about halfway through when a plotline that is in my top three hated reared its ugly head. I honestly feared that this book would be ruined for me. Happily, the author took the story in an unexpected direction and I was all in again. With all the issues addressed, there were so many ways this book could have gone wrong for me , but C.P. Harris made it all work.
This was an emotional rollercoaster and I didn't want the ride to end. There were so many ups and downs and the intensity of the men's feelings poured off of every page. I was completely sucked in from page one and was rooting for them even when I shouldn't have been and I adored the very happy ending and the bonus scenes. Highly recommended, especially if you like it when your couples really have to work for that happy ever after.
March 9, 2021
5+++ stars. Goosebumps, OVERWHELMING thick goosebumps. Omg, who could ever imagine this, it was everything.
Before me lies a monumental journey! Read it, period!
“Who will love me as much as you?” This... I cried so hard.
I had so much hurt to get through the entry #1, it’s something personal, I couldn’t stop crying.
“‘Courage...is knowing...what not to fear.’” “Plato,”
We meet Phoenix Michaelson who’s eighteen years old, a high school senior and the moment he meets Sebastian Wicked, his new philosophy teacher, a sensitive man with sad eyes.
Here is where their journey starts. They are only different in age, their souls are alike, the same age, in tune with each other, vibrating on the same frequency.
They can’t be together but it’s unavoidable. Both men try to reach the other in their dark space.
They are a secret but a content one, until... something imaginable happened, that broke the two of them.
There is so much grieve, it’s overwhelming.
This story... It’s poetry, pure poetry. I was completely blown away.
All written with a kind and soft touch, it’s a journey with depth, profound, highly emotional and a sweet devastating, heartbreaking, high sensitive romance.
The stunningly utterly deep soulful love was sooo overwhelming. I had to stop reading my heart couldn’t handle it.
Two souls in need to belong. When you read about this all, my goodness!
My heart stuttered, my breath stopped, my eyes blurred. The revelation omg!
“Life contains but two tragedies. One is to not get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.” ~Socrates
An absolutely brilliant narrative, brilliant in every possible way!
All the five stars and even more it’s a 5+++
Before me lies a monumental journey! Read it, period!
“Who will love me as much as you?” This... I cried so hard.
I had so much hurt to get through the entry #1, it’s something personal, I couldn’t stop crying.
“‘Courage...is knowing...what not to fear.’” “Plato,”
We meet Phoenix Michaelson who’s eighteen years old, a high school senior and the moment he meets Sebastian Wicked, his new philosophy teacher, a sensitive man with sad eyes.
Here is where their journey starts. They are only different in age, their souls are alike, the same age, in tune with each other, vibrating on the same frequency.
They can’t be together but it’s unavoidable. Both men try to reach the other in their dark space.
They are a secret but a content one, until... something imaginable happened, that broke the two of them.
There is so much grieve, it’s overwhelming.
This story... It’s poetry, pure poetry. I was completely blown away.
All written with a kind and soft touch, it’s a journey with depth, profound, highly emotional and a sweet devastating, heartbreaking, high sensitive romance.
The stunningly utterly deep soulful love was sooo overwhelming. I had to stop reading my heart couldn’t handle it.
Two souls in need to belong. When you read about this all, my goodness!
My heart stuttered, my breath stopped, my eyes blurred. The revelation omg!
“Life contains but two tragedies. One is to not get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.” ~Socrates
An absolutely brilliant narrative, brilliant in every possible way!
All the five stars and even more it’s a 5+++
January 3, 2023
Nope. 😒 I pushed myself ... kickin' & screamin' ... to the 65% mark and I just can't go on. I don't care at all for Phoenix, the student, and I absolutely loathe Sebastian, the teacher. I couldn't care less what happens to them. So ... nope ... movin' on.
April 15, 2023
I think about this book a lot ever since i read it .
Its really good.
Definitely plan to reread.
Its really good.
Definitely plan to reread.
January 10, 2023
I wish I’d liked it more…
…but sometimes you don’t click with some books.
It’s the story of Phoenix, who lost his father early in life, and who’s obsessed with philosophy like his late father. And Sebastian (Wicked), his -married- philosophy teacher at school.
Before we start: yes, Phoenix is 18, so legally it’s not an issue that the two fall for each other. And both, especially Sebastian, struggled with their attraction to each other, but couldn’t help not fall for the one guy who challenged them intellectually.
But smh… maybe it’s because I’m no native speaker, and because I don’t expect essays on Ancient Greek philosophy when I start reading these books, but I just couldn’t read this book without skimming. And skimming is probably the reason I didn’t fully connect to both characters.
What I liked: it’s written from both Phoenix and Sebastian’s perspective, but not in a strict chronological order, their stories overlap (I can’t find a better term, sorry). So when Phoenix’ part ends with a certain scene, Sebastian’s chapter starts a bit earlier than that scene and tells us what he did to get there, and vice versa.
Both have their wounds and scars, and maybe that’s one of the reasons they’re so attracted to each other. And they’re good for each other, even though there are times it doesn’t seem so.
And that’s where my main niggle comes in, one that I couldn’t get over: I’ve read a lot of age gap romances, but here, I felt like Sebastian was grooming Phoenix. Yes, it was what Phoenix needed and wanted. But while I enjoyed the same scenario in other books, here, it felt …wrong. Maybe because Sebastian was married, even if his marriage wasn’t a happy one. I can’t put my finger on it, it just felt…wrong, and not for good reasons, if you get what I’m trying to say.
Nevertheless, it was compelling and heartbreaking at times, that’s why I’ll rate it with 3 stars - their HEA was hard won!
Oh and skip the bonus scenes, they’re silly 🙄 Caleb (Sebastian’s son) is a very odd mixture of well spoken and toddler 🙄
…but sometimes you don’t click with some books.
It’s the story of Phoenix, who lost his father early in life, and who’s obsessed with philosophy like his late father. And Sebastian (Wicked), his -married- philosophy teacher at school.
Before we start: yes, Phoenix is 18, so legally it’s not an issue that the two fall for each other. And both, especially Sebastian, struggled with their attraction to each other, but couldn’t help not fall for the one guy who challenged them intellectually.
But smh… maybe it’s because I’m no native speaker, and because I don’t expect essays on Ancient Greek philosophy when I start reading these books, but I just couldn’t read this book without skimming. And skimming is probably the reason I didn’t fully connect to both characters.
What I liked: it’s written from both Phoenix and Sebastian’s perspective, but not in a strict chronological order, their stories overlap (I can’t find a better term, sorry). So when Phoenix’ part ends with a certain scene, Sebastian’s chapter starts a bit earlier than that scene and tells us what he did to get there, and vice versa.
Both have their wounds and scars, and maybe that’s one of the reasons they’re so attracted to each other. And they’re good for each other, even though there are times it doesn’t seem so.
And that’s where my main niggle comes in, one that I couldn’t get over: I’ve read a lot of age gap romances, but here, I felt like Sebastian was grooming Phoenix. Yes, it was what Phoenix needed and wanted. But while I enjoyed the same scenario in other books, here, it felt …wrong. Maybe because Sebastian was married, even if his marriage wasn’t a happy one. I can’t put my finger on it, it just felt…wrong, and not for good reasons, if you get what I’m trying to say.
Nevertheless, it was compelling and heartbreaking at times, that’s why I’ll rate it with 3 stars - their HEA was hard won!
Oh and skip the bonus scenes, they’re silly 🙄 Caleb (Sebastian’s son) is a very odd mixture of well spoken and toddler 🙄
March 22, 2021
This book. I’m really torn up over it. There is no doubt that I found it compelling. I couldn’t put it down and read straight through to 70% before I just had to go to bed. But, I have concerns.
Mainly, I am just not sure if this was ok. No matter how it played out. No matter what, a lot of it was wrong and I can’t shake that feeling. I am starting to think that I am just not cut out for taboo. Is this taboo? Whatever you want to call something like this, I think I am just not the person for it. I think I am. I am interested and then I am anxious. I don’t know.
I’ve read books like this in the past and I think I felt the same way then but this one, the innocence was so extreme it made it almost impossible for me to see the bigger picture. Phoenix was the definition of innocent. I get his soul was old. I get that he seemed older, but he was not older and he had zero experience with almost all types of relationships, especially one of a romantic nature. A romantic nature that was so extreme I don’t know how I would have handled it. Phoenix was 18 years old and had never even been kissed. He lived in his books. He was so very naïve and I was frightened for him.
But that’s me.
If I just take the story for what it was and don’t dig too deep in my own psyche, the writing was fantastic. Like I said, it was compelling and I didn’t want to put it down. The story had so much depth and I felt so much for both Phoenix and Sebastian. I routed for them even when I felt I shouldn’t, I did. I loved them and wanted happiness for them. They fit. So, yeah, the book was pretty great, the story grabbed me and didn’t want to let go and if I just think of it like that, it was probably one of the best books I’ve read in a very long time.
But, I can’t shake my own feelings and I was uncomfortable and nervous and a little scared.
I’m going to be in the minority for this one, I know it but that’s ok. I think most will love this, and even if I don’t necessarily agree with it, I kind of loved it a little too.
Mainly, I am just not sure if this was ok. No matter how it played out. No matter what, a lot of it was wrong and I can’t shake that feeling. I am starting to think that I am just not cut out for taboo. Is this taboo? Whatever you want to call something like this, I think I am just not the person for it. I think I am. I am interested and then I am anxious. I don’t know.
I’ve read books like this in the past and I think I felt the same way then but this one, the innocence was so extreme it made it almost impossible for me to see the bigger picture. Phoenix was the definition of innocent. I get his soul was old. I get that he seemed older, but he was not older and he had zero experience with almost all types of relationships, especially one of a romantic nature. A romantic nature that was so extreme I don’t know how I would have handled it. Phoenix was 18 years old and had never even been kissed. He lived in his books. He was so very naïve and I was frightened for him.
But that’s me.
If I just take the story for what it was and don’t dig too deep in my own psyche, the writing was fantastic. Like I said, it was compelling and I didn’t want to put it down. The story had so much depth and I felt so much for both Phoenix and Sebastian. I routed for them even when I felt I shouldn’t, I did. I loved them and wanted happiness for them. They fit. So, yeah, the book was pretty great, the story grabbed me and didn’t want to let go and if I just think of it like that, it was probably one of the best books I’ve read in a very long time.
But, I can’t shake my own feelings and I was uncomfortable and nervous and a little scared.
I’m going to be in the minority for this one, I know it but that’s ok. I think most will love this, and even if I don’t necessarily agree with it, I kind of loved it a little too.
March 25, 2022
First read
It was awesome!!! Seriously. I never thought a relationship with a teacher could have so many obstacles. And the pregnancy. I. Did. Not. Expect. That. Peonix's desperation was so powerful and I could literally feel it. I cried. I was tempted to put down the book at that next part. When they agree then was not the right time to be together. It broke my heart. But I'm glad they got back together.
Second read
The ending wasn't as epic as I'd remembered but the rest still blew my mind😩.
It was awesome!!! Seriously. I never thought a relationship with a teacher could have so many obstacles. And the pregnancy. I. Did. Not. Expect. That. Peonix's desperation was so powerful and I could literally feel it. I cried. I was tempted to put down the book at that next part. When they agree then was not the right time to be together. It broke my heart. But I'm glad they got back together.
Second read
The ending wasn't as epic as I'd remembered but the rest still blew my mind😩.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 4, 2025
Audiobook Re-read
Credit where credit is due, Liam DiCosimo and Tim Paige did a great job with this one! I'm normally not a fan of Liam DiCosimo, and Tim Paige is just okay, but they worked better here than I expected because neither ventured too far outside of their wheelhouse.
I was afraid DiCosimo was going to use his super deep cringey voice for Bash, but he kept it in check and it was fine. The voice he chose matched Tim Paige's version well and I appreciated that. Nothing bothers me more in dual POV books than when the narrators have completely different voices for the same characters. Luckily, that wasn't a problem here, and I ended up pleasantly surprised! ✌🏻
Original Review
Ahhhhhh!!! I can't even explain how much I loved this. It was so good, maybe even my new favorite from CP Harris. I'm kicking myself for taking so long to read it. The Boy Who Loved Wicked was everything I wanted from a teacher/student romance. It's a really hard trope to get right imo, but CP Harris did it masterfully. I was hooked from the first chapter, my heart breaking right out of the gate and needing to know more about this Caleb person that Phoenix is writing to.
Phoenix is such a precious person and you really root for him right from the beginning. I was hesitant how things would play out between him and Sebastian, but I trusted CP Harris to put my heart through the wringer and bring it out safely on the other side. That's exactly what happened. The longing, the happiness, the heartbreak, and healing hit me just right. I could read about Phoenix and Sebastian forever. When I got to the end of The Boy Who Loved Wicked and found there was a whole bonus story called The Man Who Loved Wicked, I was over the moon. It was chef's kiss. I wish I could wipe my brain and read it all again already 🥹
Credit where credit is due, Liam DiCosimo and Tim Paige did a great job with this one! I'm normally not a fan of Liam DiCosimo, and Tim Paige is just okay, but they worked better here than I expected because neither ventured too far outside of their wheelhouse.
I was afraid DiCosimo was going to use his super deep cringey voice for Bash, but he kept it in check and it was fine. The voice he chose matched Tim Paige's version well and I appreciated that. Nothing bothers me more in dual POV books than when the narrators have completely different voices for the same characters. Luckily, that wasn't a problem here, and I ended up pleasantly surprised! ✌🏻
Original Review
Ahhhhhh!!! I can't even explain how much I loved this. It was so good, maybe even my new favorite from CP Harris. I'm kicking myself for taking so long to read it. The Boy Who Loved Wicked was everything I wanted from a teacher/student romance. It's a really hard trope to get right imo, but CP Harris did it masterfully. I was hooked from the first chapter, my heart breaking right out of the gate and needing to know more about this Caleb person that Phoenix is writing to.
Phoenix is such a precious person and you really root for him right from the beginning. I was hesitant how things would play out between him and Sebastian, but I trusted CP Harris to put my heart through the wringer and bring it out safely on the other side. That's exactly what happened. The longing, the happiness, the heartbreak, and healing hit me just right. I could read about Phoenix and Sebastian forever. When I got to the end of The Boy Who Loved Wicked and found there was a whole bonus story called The Man Who Loved Wicked, I was over the moon. It was chef's kiss. I wish I could wipe my brain and read it all again already 🥹
January 14, 2023
toxic and intense - it is only my second book by C.P. Harris, but I guess it appears to be a certain routine for this author to write such exhausting books. I was glad when I reached the end and I must confess, I skipped a bit to finally get it over with. 😥😥😥
Hard to describe what I felt while reading ... I love the intensity of how C.P. Harris describes feelings of possession and crazy deep love. How affectionate sex scenes suddenly turn into crazy beasts falling over each other. 🥵🙈🥵
“Is that what this is about? You’re upset because I won’t fucking hurt you?”
In his rising anger, he corralled me into the corner.
“Would my cock shoved so far in you that you choked on it end this?” 😳
Unfortunately, I didn't like Sebastian one bit. I understand his hurt and how hard it may be for him to feel "normal". But I can't deal with him burdening Phoenix with his darkness. Phoenix is deeply vulnerable and he deserves much more.
A better man would’ve ended this before it began. Might’ve leaned on the possibility that Phoenix only thought he wanted me because I gave him something he’d lost when his father died. But I was prepared to take his innocence and anything else he would allow, and worry about the ramifications later. 😠- nope, I am not ok with that
So, I love Phoenix's character and I especially liked his evolution after he was apart from Sebastian.
What seemed interesting at first soon got on my nerves, philosophical quotes and debates are quite nice, but somehow it became too much for me. And the declarations of love at the end were also a bit over the top.
Umm, now I have found more negatives than I wanted ... 💔
To close with something nice, the writing was absolutely outstanding.
Hard to describe what I felt while reading ... I love the intensity of how C.P. Harris describes feelings of possession and crazy deep love. How affectionate sex scenes suddenly turn into crazy beasts falling over each other. 🥵🙈🥵
“Is that what this is about? You’re upset because I won’t fucking hurt you?”
In his rising anger, he corralled me into the corner.
“Would my cock shoved so far in you that you choked on it end this?” 😳
Unfortunately, I didn't like Sebastian one bit. I understand his hurt and how hard it may be for him to feel "normal". But I can't deal with him burdening Phoenix with his darkness. Phoenix is deeply vulnerable and he deserves much more.
A better man would’ve ended this before it began. Might’ve leaned on the possibility that Phoenix only thought he wanted me because I gave him something he’d lost when his father died. But I was prepared to take his innocence and anything else he would allow, and worry about the ramifications later. 😠- nope, I am not ok with that
So, I love Phoenix's character and I especially liked his evolution after he was apart from Sebastian.
What seemed interesting at first soon got on my nerves, philosophical quotes and debates are quite nice, but somehow it became too much for me. And the declarations of love at the end were also a bit over the top.
Umm, now I have found more negatives than I wanted ... 💔
To close with something nice, the writing was absolutely outstanding.
Read
August 17, 2022DNF @ 48%
Not for me, I think. The story felt a bit dragging.
Not for me, I think. The story felt a bit dragging.
March 12, 2021
Teacher/Student romance
Age gap
Emotional
Intense
Complex
Sensual
Poetic writing
The Boy Who Loved Wicked by C.P. Harris is one of those books that a reader should go in almost blind and just experience.
It's outstanding.
5 Stars!
January 28, 2026
3.2 ⭐️
spice: 🌶️🌶️.5/5
format: ebook
ugh, i wanted to love this but i just didn’t. the main characters were painfully surface-level. and i feel like all the pivotal moments of their story wound up fading to black and being summarized, including a lot of the spice.
also the book was only like 15% of them actually together, with a good 25% or more of them not even speaking to each other. there wasn’t enough buildup of their relationship for me to believe it would last through the third act. and not to mention, if sebastian hadn’t written down how he actually felt in journal entries i wouldn’t even think he liked phoenix at all. there just wasn’t much to go on.
the prose as usual is flowery and beautiful and the spice we did actually get to see was very well done. i just needed a lot more from these two.
spice: 🌶️🌶️.5/5
format: ebook
ugh, i wanted to love this but i just didn’t. the main characters were painfully surface-level. and i feel like all the pivotal moments of their story wound up fading to black and being summarized, including a lot of the spice.
also the book was only like 15% of them actually together, with a good 25% or more of them not even speaking to each other. there wasn’t enough buildup of their relationship for me to believe it would last through the third act. and not to mention, if sebastian hadn’t written down how he actually felt in journal entries i wouldn’t even think he liked phoenix at all. there just wasn’t much to go on.
the prose as usual is flowery and beautiful and the spice we did actually get to see was very well done. i just needed a lot more from these two.
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May 15, 2023
I could keep reading about Bash and Phoenix forever omg.🥹
I loved them, their relationship, their character development/arc, their possessive all-consuming love for each other; they were just everything and more.
Their story made me laugh, cry, swoon, cry some more, and made me so happy and giddy; just so heartwarming and HOTTT.🤭
Bash and Phoenix have my heart!!♥️
I loved them, their relationship, their character development/arc, their possessive all-consuming love for each other; they were just everything and more.
Their story made me laugh, cry, swoon, cry some more, and made me so happy and giddy; just so heartwarming and HOTTT.🤭
Bash and Phoenix have my heart!!♥️
March 6, 2021
This was a thoughtful and thought-provoking portrayal of a (somewhat) taboo relationship. Phoenix is 18 when he meets his new philosophy teacher, Sebastian Wicked, for the first time. The two embark on an intellectual connection that deepens into an emotional one. The physical comes last, and when it does, it feels like the natural cementing of their bond. But life is complex and adult obligations must be met.
One of the many things I appreciated about this romance was Harris's handling of the MCs' age gap, as well as how they each dealt with their past grief. Each character brought to the relationship their own particular strengths and weaknesses. Phoenix, bold and daring with his love, Sebastian, measured and cautious. I appreciated too how both sides understood that they couldn't save or fix the other, that they had to grow as individuals before their love could endure. The emotional (and physical) connection between these two was undeniable, which resulted in a very satisfying read. The bits of philosophy woven throughout were the cherry on this reader's hot fudge sundae.
If you like complex characters who are willing to fight and sacrifice for each other, who are willing to grow and change to become the people they need to be, then you will LOVE this book. I certainly did!
One of the many things I appreciated about this romance was Harris's handling of the MCs' age gap, as well as how they each dealt with their past grief. Each character brought to the relationship their own particular strengths and weaknesses. Phoenix, bold and daring with his love, Sebastian, measured and cautious. I appreciated too how both sides understood that they couldn't save or fix the other, that they had to grow as individuals before their love could endure. The emotional (and physical) connection between these two was undeniable, which resulted in a very satisfying read. The bits of philosophy woven throughout were the cherry on this reader's hot fudge sundae.
If you like complex characters who are willing to fight and sacrifice for each other, who are willing to grow and change to become the people they need to be, then you will LOVE this book. I certainly did!
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February 26, 2024
These two stars are for you Phoenix!
So emm I’m probably unpopular by saying this but... it's not what I expected. 😐
I have to admit that it disturbed me a bit at times. I like student/professor love stories but high school student? Hmm, I don't know, I felt strange--although I understand that Phoenix feels more "mature" for his age but in the end he's just a boy who hasn't found himself yet and is chasing a ghost.😪😪
However, I felt connected to Phoenix in the way he FEELS so deeply. His passion ignited my heart, and even though his relationship with Sebastian is EXTREMELY toxic, I found his devotion touching, even though Sebastian doesn't deserve it at all. Phoenix needs to explore himself and his own desires (he’s only 18!), and certainly a man like Sebastian can only give him the illusion of being okay and lick his wounds, but nothing more. I see the depth of Phoenix’s soul but I cannot see the same depth in their relationship. As much as Sebastian's words were soaked in honey, his behavior left a bitter taste in my mouth. 🤐🤐 meh.
So emm I’m probably unpopular by saying this but... it's not what I expected. 😐
I have to admit that it disturbed me a bit at times. I like student/professor love stories but high school student? Hmm, I don't know, I felt strange--although I understand that Phoenix feels more "mature" for his age but in the end he's just a boy who hasn't found himself yet and is chasing a ghost.😪😪
However, I felt connected to Phoenix in the way he FEELS so deeply. His passion ignited my heart, and even though his relationship with Sebastian is EXTREMELY toxic, I found his devotion touching, even though Sebastian doesn't deserve it at all. Phoenix needs to explore himself and his own desires (he’s only 18!), and certainly a man like Sebastian can only give him the illusion of being okay and lick his wounds, but nothing more. I see the depth of Phoenix’s soul but I cannot see the same depth in their relationship. As much as Sebastian's words were soaked in honey, his behavior left a bitter taste in my mouth. 🤐🤐 meh.
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