**SPOILERS **
DNF @ 85%
Began skipping pages @ 29% coz I disliked h's character. And was annoyed by how H&h tiptoed around the reason h left him so suddenly 2 years ago. At 80%, they still haven't talked about why she left him.
Why I disliked h:
#1. h was silently demanding with a suffering-martyr/victim syndrome
18yo h was secretly depressed for 1 year with suicidal thoughts and secretly taking anti-depressants. Because of this, she thought that she was so broken. She was on and off with her depression so she'd have good laughing/smiling days and bad quiet/numb days. Nothing really drastic but she thought she was so unique and endured much suffering just because her parents divorced 1 year before and she sometimes had suicidal thoughts. She also pitied herself that her parents divorced when she turned 18 and not when her older sister turned 18. As a result, she secretly thought that others owed her space/sympathy/unconditional love. She also indulged in self-pity for having to take anti-depressants for the past year and made it such a big deal to tell H about it, who acted surprised for 1 second and then hugged her and just loved her.
#2. h was selfish and passive-aggressive
Now-22yo h wouldn't tell now-25(?)yo H why she left him 2 years ago, after 1-2 years of dating. Her REASON was that she planned on killing herself with a pill overdose due to her recurring "I'm not good enough for anyone" thoughts, after she left clueless H. And she did attempt it at a hotel but was found soon after she blacked out by a hotel employee. So, she was hospitalized & sent to mental rehab to adjust her meds & therapy.
She wouldn't allow her family members to talk about her suicide attempt. Her family were all passive-aggressive and tiptoed around the topic. Her suicide attempt was just selfish. Despite her thoughts on not hurting H & her family, she hurt them more with her suicide attempt and her refusal to talk about why with them and how it affected her and them. She wanted to have the world just so and, because she didn't feel worthy enough (even though her family members, H, and even H's family treated her well and viewed her as cool and lovable), she wanted to kill herself. Instead of talking to H or her family or her therapist (or anyone really) about her suicidal ideation, she made grand plans to kill herself by overdosing on her pills. But, before that, she planned on smexxing H by wearing lingerie and all as his unforgettable send-off for his short trip. And then drinking her fave tea and soaking up whatever before she left him a general "I can't do this anymore. Don't look for me." note with no explanation as to why she's breaking up with him. She did it this way because she didn't want to hurt him. Yet she had no problem hurting him by her short, cold & uninformative break-up note. And deception & outright abandonment. When they saw each other again 2 years later, she had no qualms teasing him with sexy texts/talk and sexy behaviors while reminding him they're just friends now. She knew he still deeply cared for him yet didn't care much for how she was likely hurting him now with her inconsistent behaviors.
She dated another man (OM) for awhile during the 2-year separation instead of talking to H about what happened. She moved on from H quite easily. She dated another man, continued college, worked, and enjoyed living in Seattle with her dad. While poor H looked for her for awhile and even begged h's sister to tell him her whereabout but to no avail. He drowned his sorrows over h with sex with random women, parties, exercise, medical school, and taking care of his siblings. She really only cared about her happiness and left H a broken mess, especially knowing that H still struggled much re: his brother leaving him & his siblings by committing suicide.
Writing style had some good moments. But the switching between 2 years ago and current time was sometimes confusing. Also, the timeline of when H&h started dating & then broke up wasn't consistent. Some good emotional moments from H's heartbreak from h. Detailed sex scenes were fine but skipped some due to my dislike of h. Lacked character development since H&h's 2-year break only showed their arrested character & emotional development. Both still the same @ the end. Meh romance.
Sexual History:
18yo virgin college-freshman h had made out with some guys in high school but kisses too sloppy to want to go further. 21yo premed college-senior H de-virginized her, after a few months of dating. After she left H, she dated & smexxed her nice musician boyfriend but lacked the spark of H. Before h, H was a manho, especially in the last year since his older bro's suicide where he smexxed the many women who'd proposition him but felt empty after. When h left him, H manhoed back again after he couldn't find her. He smexxed random women until he saw her again by accident 2 years later.