Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have the Sex You’ve Always Wanted

by Bat Sheva Marcus

In this refreshingly honest book, the "Queen of Vibrators" and the "Orthodox Sex Guru" shares her easy, proven system to help women have a healthy, robust sex life.    Great sex comes naturally, and when it doesn’t, there is something wrong.
Sex is a gift that takes work. Like exercise or eating right, it also takes practice and know-how.
“Queen of Vibrators” Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus believes a healthy, robust, fulfilling sex life is a right for all women. And after twenty years as a sex therapist, Dr. Bat Sheva knows that there’s more to sex than lingerie and beach vacations.  Sex Points  is the first book that helps you identify and analyze for yourself what factors are affecting your sex life. Using Dr. Bat Sheva’s revolutionary Sex Points Assessment, you can pinpoint what’s keeping you from the great sex you deserve by looking at where you’re scoring low in four key pain, arousal, libido, and orgasm. And then she’ll help you get points back in each of those areas!
 
Your sex life is complex, unique to you, and affected by psychological, medical, and emotional variables. If you think that a diminished sex drive is natural, pain is expected, and no orgasms is no problem—prepare to have your world rocked.
 
Covering everything from how to choose a vibrator to recapturing orgasms, understanding hormones, to rekindling lust, embracing taboo fantasies, and parsing complicated relationships, to what sex really means ( it's not just intercourse),  Sex Points  is a comprehensive, revelatory, I-didn’t-know-it-could-be-this-good guide for every woman, at every age, in every situation.
  A Fun, Healthy, Fulfilling Sex Life is Your Right!
And Sex Points will get you there.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Self Help, Health, Relationships

321 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 9, 2021

Reviews

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great book. I wish I had known this information earlier and later in my life. As you age sometimes your sex life just dies and you allow it too. You are never too old to get your groove on by using new techniques. This has changed my life and made my husband and I a lot happier. You are never too old to learn new tricks. A great sex life makes for a happier marriage and life. Bravo to a great Doctor. Waiting for your next bag of tricks. LOL.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Think of Sex Points as a manual for your sex life. Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus puts forth the idea that the aspects of sex life can be divided into four quadrants, each with a fluctuating points level. If you have lots of points in all the quadrants, you’re probably happy with your sex life, and if you’re struggling, you can look at your points in different quadrants to get to the root of the issue. With twenty years as a sex therapist and tons of clients, she’s had time to refine this theory into a book primarily geared towards vagina-havers.

This book begins with a quiz. Well, it begins with an intro, immediately followed by a quiz. A little thing that I absolutely loved: Dr. Bat Sheva includes a link to take the quiz online for those of us who hate to write in books/doing math/finding a pencil. I really enjoyed reading the theory behind her points system, and her writing style is very accessible. This book is designed like a user manual, and even tells you which chapters to read if you want to work on gaining points in the different quadrants. You can read the sections you need, when you need them. Overall, I would recommend this to anyone looking to learn more about their sex life and all of the different factors that affect it.

Sex Points is available now! Thank you to @hachettego for sharing a copy in exchange for my honest review. You can purchase your own copy of Sex Points on Bookshop.org through the link in my bio! ✨

Follow me on Instagram & Twitter @whatalexreads for book reviews, recommendations, and more!

[E. Schwartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book takes on a lot of complex problems. Dr. Bat Sheva's clear style takes the mystery out of sexual problems. Then she goes on to explain how to go about fixing them. Dr. Bat Sheva's voice in the book is just like her voice on the air: earnest and warm, like she really knows you and really cares. There is something in here for everyone, if not now, then sooner or later. I'm glad I have this on my shelf--to refer back to and share.

[Elsie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good information on so many levels. Dr Bat Sheva addresses concerns from pelvic pain to lack of desire to relationship difficulties. This book is for anyone trying to self diagnose and then know which directions to go to seek professional care.

[Kristy Hurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ladies, you don't need to have sex issues to read this! There is so much to learn from Dr. Marcus. She takes away stigma, fear and shame you may feel if you have any of the issues she discusses. It is for women of all ages. While I don't have any issues at the moment, I am keeping this book in case I, or someone I know, need it in the future.
Thank you goodreads.com/Hachettebooks for this!

[Shoshi Singer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this! Fun & informative. Recommended to all my buds.

[Y. Schwartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both terrifically comprehensive and eminently accessible. This book covers a huge amount of ground -- surveying the spectrum of women's sexual challenges, and also offering practical advice for tackling and resolving those challenges. Marcus also brings a "whole person" approach, addressing medical, psychological, and emotional dimensions. And somehow, the writing is lively, warm, and approachable throughout. Informative, practical, and reassuring.

[Dara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had heard Bat Sheva Marcus on a podcast and was interested in her book, which is a very interesting look at sexual issues in 4 parts. The book is a guide on how to gain points in these areas in order to improve your sex life. I definitely found this book interesting and can imagine that it will be helpful to many women and couples!

[P Katz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading "Sex Points" by Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is like having a best friend who's really thoughtful and insightful about sex and our bodies. This book covers so many topics I was too afraid to even discuss with anyone but reading through this book helped me in ways I didn't even know I needed!

[Susan Bernard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional book that really looks at all of the different aspects of your sex life and provides actionable ways to improve it. And because our sex lives change over time, I can see this book being an invaluable resource that I'll refer back to for years to come.

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a good read.

[Samuel Ake · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book does a great job using a holistic approach to sex issues. As the author mentions multiple times, when looking at issues with sex, therapists tend to lean towards psychological explanations rather than taking into account biological explanations. I think this author does the best job I’ve seen at exploring both psychological and biological factors that could impact a client’s sex life, as well as how these factors can interact with each other. She specifically mentions some medical treatment options that I don’t think most practitioners have heard of, which I think is super important and can really help a client advocate for themselves.

My main complaint with this book, which I have with basically every psych book about sex, is that it’s mainly intended for women to read. Obviously there’s a super big need for books about women’s sexual issues so it’s not like I’m against that at all, however when I was in private practice I found that I had a lot of male clients having sexual issues and there was a lack of resources I’ve been able to find for them. And while it’s appreciated that this author states in the introduction that her system is intended for everyone but the reader just may have to swap the pronouns, the content of the book just doesn’t allow that to happen and still have the information be applicable. She has a chapter that outlines possible issues men may face when it comes to sex, but even then it’s presented as viewing men’s problems through the lens of a wife/partner. Overall, this isn’t a big deal and the book was still very informative, but it is a bit of a pet peeve when something is marketed as gender neutral but it turns out to not be. I also understand that if the author were to include mens sexual issues too, she may have had a 600 page book, so no hate.

This was a library check out for me but I think this book has a lot of useful information and as a social worker I will probably purchase it to reference if I ever go back into private practice.

[Kimberly]

This is actually a really random book that crossed my path and I was curious as to how it systematized helping women evaluate and take measures to improve their sexual experiences. I do think it's informative and can really be useful as a guide for women who are struggling to understand, explore, and improve their sexuality. Sadly so many of these things aren't discussed in families or elsewhere (which I get, but then where are you going to learn it). I see a lot of room in American (especially highly religious communities) for both men and women to be better informed about the sexual experience of women (there's room to improve in this area for men's experience, too, but you don't hear of men typically going decades without orgasming and you do hear that about women, sadly). I've been doing a deep dive for the past couple of years into relationships, marriage, sexuality, psychology, etc.--there's just so much to learn, it's fascinating!

Btw there is a free quiz on the author's website that is the same quiz as in the book so you can see which areas you are strong or weak in. The book has specifics for what to do about weaker areas.

[Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bat Sheva Marcus's book stands apart from other books about sex for women because it frankly discusses all the aspects that can affect a woman's sex life over the course of her life - notably pain. It's rare for literature around sex to directly examine how sexual pain can affect the other areas of your life (like your desire, arousal, and orgasms) and how all these elements overlap and bleed into each other. The book is full of pragmatic and specific solutions to a whole range of issues and Bat Sheva's voice is funny and warm, like a friend who's got the real facts on every issue you might find yourself wondering about. She explores everything from medicines to treatments to behavioral changes you can make to deal with a range of common issues that arise with concrete scientific facts and proven strategies she's learned from working with hundreds of patients over the years.

I'd highly recommend this book to any woman - chances are at SOME point in your sexual life, you'll need it.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

After seeing several different therapists and sex educators (including the author herself) recommend this book on Instagram, I decided why not? I checked it out from the library and then it sat in my house for months until I ran out of renewals 😅 at which point I finally buckled down and finished it. A very engaging read, with so much useful information to empower women to seek a wide variety of solutions for issues related to sexual health over their lifespan. The only place where I think she could use a deeper dive would be into issues around emotional intimacy as a a factor. Deeper research into Bowen’s theory of differentiation and David Schnarch’s expansion of that might give newer, more helpful meaning to the idea of intimacy relative to sexuality. Overall, a very helpful read!

[Kristy Lin Billuni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bat Sheva Marcus discusses sexual health interventions from a range of modalities in this well-researched, approachable book. From her no-BS course on vibrators to her straightforward hormones 101 lesson, her actionable, innovative solutions untangle the often overwhelming world of sexual healing and sex life improvement.
The magic is in her structure. Marcus breaks down four areas of sexual challenges and kicks off the book with a quick-to-take, transparent-to-score quiz. Take the quiz. Proceed accordingly. It's a gentle and practical approach, and Marcus writes lovingly and thoroughly, with obvious enthusiasm and expertise.

[Shauna Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus does a great job of breaking down her points system and how to use it. I like that this book provides a myriad of possible solutions to common issues women face throughout their lives.
I would love to know if there will ever be a similar book for men as they may face issues (lowered sex drive, erectile dysfunction, etc.) that affect their sex points and ultimately affect their sexual relationship with potential partners.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this book. Lots of great information. The only reason it lost a star was the point system got a little confusing.

[Jamie YW · Rating 4 out of 5]

The points concept did not resonate with me, but the content was rich and helpful.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful information. Good to reference for reminders.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly I was a little concerned by the premise here, but how it's laid out and explained is a lot more logical than I expected and I'm here for it.

[Lauren Barton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall pretty interesting. Disagreed with a couple of points made, but had some good perspective on potential difficulties with sex.

[Avril Frank · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was informational but personally I am not in that phase of life yet.

[Sam Konieczka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read. NPR had a segment on this book a couple of years ago. It's nice to not feel alone.