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Swing
THE NEW BOOK THAT IS UNEXPECTEDLY CHANGING MARRIAGES
Through stories most people haven't experienced, like waiting in line to use the bathroom at an invite-only sex party in New York City, Renard takes her readers to places we all know too well. Feeling disconnected, unappreciated, and like we are doing it all have become hallmarks of modern marriage and parenthood.
Swing is helping individuals flip the switch from depleted to filled up in partnership, parenting, and career while inspiring couples to raise the bar for intimacy and communication inside and outside of the bedroom.
Hilarious, heartbreaking, and hopeful, Renard takes "doing it all" to a level she never intended, and shares (and bares) it all so you can get your life back on track before you go off the deep end.
Waiting in line to use the bathroom in a fancy New York City sex club is just like waiting to use the bathroom anywhere else. Well, anywhere else that people walk around half-naked. And anywhere else that you must send in a headshot and a full-body photo before being added to the invite list. Besides those things, it’s like waiting in line for the bathroom anywhere else.
Married for ten years and with three children, Ashleigh and her husband, Manny, are at a sex club, not because they feel there is anything wrong with their marriage, rather they are looking for some relief from the non-stop work and no-nonsense routine they have maintained since meeting right out of college. Their marriage is rock solid. They are masterful tag-team parents and never fight. Their toddlers grow their own vegetables and use coasters. They are hard-core adulting, but everyone deserves a little break sometimes, don’t they?
From sex clubs to invite-only parties to dating apps for couples, they rapidly realize they’ve made a slight miscalculation, underestimating the complexities of the lifestyle and overestimating the strength of their marriage. Heartbreaking, hilarious, and hopeful, what will they do when they realize it’s more than a matter of gathering some people and having some sex?
Through stories most people haven't experienced, like waiting in line to use the bathroom at an invite-only sex party in New York City, Renard takes her readers to places we all know too well. Feeling disconnected, unappreciated, and like we are doing it all have become hallmarks of modern marriage and parenthood.
Swing is helping individuals flip the switch from depleted to filled up in partnership, parenting, and career while inspiring couples to raise the bar for intimacy and communication inside and outside of the bedroom.
Hilarious, heartbreaking, and hopeful, Renard takes "doing it all" to a level she never intended, and shares (and bares) it all so you can get your life back on track before you go off the deep end.
Waiting in line to use the bathroom in a fancy New York City sex club is just like waiting to use the bathroom anywhere else. Well, anywhere else that people walk around half-naked. And anywhere else that you must send in a headshot and a full-body photo before being added to the invite list. Besides those things, it’s like waiting in line for the bathroom anywhere else.
Married for ten years and with three children, Ashleigh and her husband, Manny, are at a sex club, not because they feel there is anything wrong with their marriage, rather they are looking for some relief from the non-stop work and no-nonsense routine they have maintained since meeting right out of college. Their marriage is rock solid. They are masterful tag-team parents and never fight. Their toddlers grow their own vegetables and use coasters. They are hard-core adulting, but everyone deserves a little break sometimes, don’t they?
From sex clubs to invite-only parties to dating apps for couples, they rapidly realize they’ve made a slight miscalculation, underestimating the complexities of the lifestyle and overestimating the strength of their marriage. Heartbreaking, hilarious, and hopeful, what will they do when they realize it’s more than a matter of gathering some people and having some sex?
302 pages, Paperback
First published May 25, 2021
198 people are currently reading
8468 people want to read
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May 25, 2021It is officially time, my friends! Swing launches into the world on May 25.
Your support has been incredible and I cannot wait to hear what you think!
Your support has been incredible and I cannot wait to hear what you think!
June 9, 2021
I tend to feel guilty leaving bad reviews here on Goodreads (unless it's a Hemingway book, in which case, fuck him), so I'll start with the good.
- This book is well-written and I think Renard is a good writer. If she writes novels or short stories or books on choreographed figure skating, I'm sure they will do very well. My dislike for this book has nothing to do with her writing ability.
- Renard should be commended for opening up and discussing the things that all of us think and go through in life but too often are kept secret.
- I believe Renard is a 'good' person, meaning I don't think she's mean-spirited in any way.
With all that being said, I read almost this entire book shaking my head. I kept thinking, "Ashleigh is the dumbest 'smart person' I've ever seen!" She is obviously educated. She reminds us a couple of times how she's a 'good student'. She goes out of her way to mention just about every muscle in the human anatomy (which I understand is probably the fault of the patriarchy and women always feeling the need to prove their intelligence...but it came off as annoying and pretentious to me.)
But then it occurred to me.....she is an intelligent grown woman, but she has the EMOTIONAL intelligence of a 13 year old. It's funny that she mentions how teenage girls are her favorite demographic of people because it seems fitting being that they have the same emotional IQ as she apparently does.
Just a quick overview - she marries a guy whom she doesn't even really seem to love. It seemed as if she got married because she felt it was the right time in her life to get married and Manny was hot, and checked off the right boxes...oh, and he had great anterior deltoids (or some stupid shit like that). She then decides to have 3 kids with this guy. This is already a disaster waiting to happen without even adding anything else. But hey, maybe talk to the guy you're going to marry a little bit before you get married and have children to see if he's the biggest mama's boy who has ever existed. See if your husband, who is built like a Greek god, actually has the spine enough to tell you how he's feeling once in a while. That way you don't have to nearly get divorced 5 times trying to get your husband to choose you over his mother and their hardcore Greek Orthodox religion. (Don't get me wrong, I'm on Ashleigh's side on the whole religion debate....but why would you ever marry someone if you knew their family was like this??)
And THEN, what probably ticked me off more than anything else with this book, is the decision to dip their toes into the swinger lifestyle. Did they even read a two minute article on the lifestyle before deciding to head over to the sex club?? Did they not know that one of the most crucial aspects of getting into the swinger lifestyle is that your relationship must be on a foundation that is as solid as can be?? You have a husband that never says he loves you, doesn't even kiss you hello or goodbye...and you think becoming a swinger is a good idea?! This couple and this book are an affront to the swinger culture and lifestyle. The swinger lifestyle is not meant to be a crutch in your failing marriage. It is not there to fill in the voids left by your significant other. It is there for couples with a rock-solid relationship to be able to live their lives without hiding behind the mask of societal norms; to be open and free about their wants and desires without the fear of judgment. One cannot be in the lifestyle if they have issues with jealousy or self-loathing, both traits that Ashleigh seems to have in abundance.
And don't even get me started on the whole 'falling for Brad debacle'. I can completely understand the infatuation. The love of all the new-found attention. Hearing things from a man that you wished you would hear from your husband. I get it. But how on Earth did it never occur to her until their secret meeting where he talked politics that they 'might not be made for real life'?! She's married with 3 children and seems to be seriously considering getting a divorce because a guy tells her she's hot and sends her nude pics. In the book it comes across as if she never once seriously thought about having a 'real life' with Brad until his politics dissuaded her. Yet she seemed very serious about the possibility of divorcing Manny to be with Brad. For an educated adult who meditates and teaches others, I can't even fathom how you can have one thought and not the other.
I'm happy for her that she was finally able to get the therapy she needed and to be able to love herself and thus be able to have a better family life, but this book really has very little to do with swinging, and I think it would actually offend people in the swing lifestyle, because it makes it look like the lifestyle creates drama and havoc when in fact it is the individuals involved that create drama and havoc. It is akin to when a gay couple has major problems and then ignorant people say things like, "see, this is why two men shouldn't be allowed to get married", blaming all of the problems on their sexual orientation instead of looking at the individuals involved and thinking maybe these two individuals just shouldn't be married.
- This book is well-written and I think Renard is a good writer. If she writes novels or short stories or books on choreographed figure skating, I'm sure they will do very well. My dislike for this book has nothing to do with her writing ability.
- Renard should be commended for opening up and discussing the things that all of us think and go through in life but too often are kept secret.
- I believe Renard is a 'good' person, meaning I don't think she's mean-spirited in any way.
With all that being said, I read almost this entire book shaking my head. I kept thinking, "Ashleigh is the dumbest 'smart person' I've ever seen!" She is obviously educated. She reminds us a couple of times how she's a 'good student'. She goes out of her way to mention just about every muscle in the human anatomy (which I understand is probably the fault of the patriarchy and women always feeling the need to prove their intelligence...but it came off as annoying and pretentious to me.)
But then it occurred to me.....she is an intelligent grown woman, but she has the EMOTIONAL intelligence of a 13 year old. It's funny that she mentions how teenage girls are her favorite demographic of people because it seems fitting being that they have the same emotional IQ as she apparently does.
Just a quick overview - she marries a guy whom she doesn't even really seem to love. It seemed as if she got married because she felt it was the right time in her life to get married and Manny was hot, and checked off the right boxes...oh, and he had great anterior deltoids (or some stupid shit like that). She then decides to have 3 kids with this guy. This is already a disaster waiting to happen without even adding anything else. But hey, maybe talk to the guy you're going to marry a little bit before you get married and have children to see if he's the biggest mama's boy who has ever existed. See if your husband, who is built like a Greek god, actually has the spine enough to tell you how he's feeling once in a while. That way you don't have to nearly get divorced 5 times trying to get your husband to choose you over his mother and their hardcore Greek Orthodox religion. (Don't get me wrong, I'm on Ashleigh's side on the whole religion debate....but why would you ever marry someone if you knew their family was like this??)
And THEN, what probably ticked me off more than anything else with this book, is the decision to dip their toes into the swinger lifestyle. Did they even read a two minute article on the lifestyle before deciding to head over to the sex club?? Did they not know that one of the most crucial aspects of getting into the swinger lifestyle is that your relationship must be on a foundation that is as solid as can be?? You have a husband that never says he loves you, doesn't even kiss you hello or goodbye...and you think becoming a swinger is a good idea?! This couple and this book are an affront to the swinger culture and lifestyle. The swinger lifestyle is not meant to be a crutch in your failing marriage. It is not there to fill in the voids left by your significant other. It is there for couples with a rock-solid relationship to be able to live their lives without hiding behind the mask of societal norms; to be open and free about their wants and desires without the fear of judgment. One cannot be in the lifestyle if they have issues with jealousy or self-loathing, both traits that Ashleigh seems to have in abundance.
And don't even get me started on the whole 'falling for Brad debacle'. I can completely understand the infatuation. The love of all the new-found attention. Hearing things from a man that you wished you would hear from your husband. I get it. But how on Earth did it never occur to her until their secret meeting where he talked politics that they 'might not be made for real life'?! She's married with 3 children and seems to be seriously considering getting a divorce because a guy tells her she's hot and sends her nude pics. In the book it comes across as if she never once seriously thought about having a 'real life' with Brad until his politics dissuaded her. Yet she seemed very serious about the possibility of divorcing Manny to be with Brad. For an educated adult who meditates and teaches others, I can't even fathom how you can have one thought and not the other.
I'm happy for her that she was finally able to get the therapy she needed and to be able to love herself and thus be able to have a better family life, but this book really has very little to do with swinging, and I think it would actually offend people in the swing lifestyle, because it makes it look like the lifestyle creates drama and havoc when in fact it is the individuals involved that create drama and havoc. It is akin to when a gay couple has major problems and then ignorant people say things like, "see, this is why two men shouldn't be allowed to get married", blaming all of the problems on their sexual orientation instead of looking at the individuals involved and thinking maybe these two individuals just shouldn't be married.
May 25, 2021
I am so in awe of Ashleighs bravery in being this open. Such an honest and raw look into her life. I admire her so much! I was so captivated by her story. She put it all out there and certainly didn't hold back.
To my friends who love a solid "eggplant read" this one is for you! Hehehehe! - with that being said, it's also SO much more than that. I encourage you to read this and see for yourself.
A sentence that made me wheeze laugh!
"I have always attested to being comfortable with nudity, but I can clarify that a whirling penis does make me a little uptight."
Chapter 19 was one of my favorites! I could really feel Ashleighs love of writing. So heartwarming. It made me smile.
If it isn't already obvious, I enjoyed this memoir so, so much! I love a memoir that makes me feel ALL the things, and Swing certainly did just that.
Thank you so much for the gifted copy of your book Ashleigh! And to Kate Rock Book Tours!
To my friends who love a solid "eggplant read" this one is for you! Hehehehe! - with that being said, it's also SO much more than that. I encourage you to read this and see for yourself.
A sentence that made me wheeze laugh!
"I have always attested to being comfortable with nudity, but I can clarify that a whirling penis does make me a little uptight."
Chapter 19 was one of my favorites! I could really feel Ashleighs love of writing. So heartwarming. It made me smile.
If it isn't already obvious, I enjoyed this memoir so, so much! I love a memoir that makes me feel ALL the things, and Swing certainly did just that.
Thank you so much for the gifted copy of your book Ashleigh! And to Kate Rock Book Tours!
March 26, 2021
I loved this book!! It was an amazing mix of funny, erotic, self-improvement, relationship counsel, and descriptive story. It had me laughing out loud and shedding tears. It felt like parts of it were written for me specifically; I found so much of value in this book but it didn’t feel at all preachy or slow. I flew through the chapters, never wanting to put it down because it was so entertaining. Even if you don’t think this is the type of book you’re looking for, I would still recommend giving it a try. It’s that good.
May 28, 2021
You know that big sister kind of friend, the one who
tough-loves you when you need it and helps you rest your heart when you feel tapped out and unable to take care of yourself? That is who Ashleigh Renard is. And in Swing she draws back the curtain on her story: how she thought she knew who she was and leaned so far into that version of herself that she forgot what she truly needed. Swing is sexy and fast-paced, relatable, and engaging; the story of how Ashleigh realized what she wanted in her marriage and life and what she no longer wanted to go without. It’s a wake up call to all of us: get to know who you really are, be willing to grow, accept you are not always right, and lean into what feeds your soul and makes you happy.
tough-loves you when you need it and helps you rest your heart when you feel tapped out and unable to take care of yourself? That is who Ashleigh Renard is. And in Swing she draws back the curtain on her story: how she thought she knew who she was and leaned so far into that version of herself that she forgot what she truly needed. Swing is sexy and fast-paced, relatable, and engaging; the story of how Ashleigh realized what she wanted in her marriage and life and what she no longer wanted to go without. It’s a wake up call to all of us: get to know who you really are, be willing to grow, accept you are not always right, and lean into what feeds your soul and makes you happy.
February 26, 2021
“I saw how the quality of the relationship I had with others, always mirrored the relationship I had with my true self. In order to truly commit to loving and being loved by the people in my life I had to be tenderly intimate and fiercely loyal to the deepest parts of myself.” Ashleigh Renard
This is quite possibly my favorite read of all time. I have never read a memoir. I stumbled upon the authors Instagram page due to a collab she did with another account I follow. Reading the line “Rehabbed a shabby marriage” in her bio,I was instantly intrigued. Through some IG creeping, I discovered she wrote a book and immediately pre ordered.
She recorded the audio version herself which makes it feel extra intimate. Filled with Erotica, longing, pain, fierce baddasery, and a love for her family, she uncovers the truth about herself that she has always masked. As a therapist, I absolutely love the raw and real take on marriage, motherhood,maintaining a career and the journey of self connection and compassion. As a woman, I love the relatability to the fear of connecting to and revealing who I truly am to the world. Can’t say enough about this. Sad that’s it over but so grateful to have stumbled upon it!
Will be reading the hard copy once released in May!
This is quite possibly my favorite read of all time. I have never read a memoir. I stumbled upon the authors Instagram page due to a collab she did with another account I follow. Reading the line “Rehabbed a shabby marriage” in her bio,I was instantly intrigued. Through some IG creeping, I discovered she wrote a book and immediately pre ordered.
She recorded the audio version herself which makes it feel extra intimate. Filled with Erotica, longing, pain, fierce baddasery, and a love for her family, she uncovers the truth about herself that she has always masked. As a therapist, I absolutely love the raw and real take on marriage, motherhood,maintaining a career and the journey of self connection and compassion. As a woman, I love the relatability to the fear of connecting to and revealing who I truly am to the world. Can’t say enough about this. Sad that’s it over but so grateful to have stumbled upon it!
Will be reading the hard copy once released in May!
March 2, 2021
In one of Swing's early chapters, the author describes her morning routine as a young figure skater in vivid, sensory detail. I was there in the locker room and out on the ice, tracing the perfect circles and figure 8s, wincing at the gash on my leg. From that moment on, I raced through the remainder of the book in about a day and a half. I could relate deeply to the author's feeling of trying so hard, checking so many boxes, and yet failing at fulfillment. It's a strange quandary so many mothers today are staring down; I appreciate that the author takes us deeply into her relationship as well as into her personal desires, missteps, and fears. Yes, there's a lot of sex in this book—(fun, sexy sex!)—but there's also a lot of hard-won wisdom about what constitutes a meaningful and happy life, and how to cultivate one's relationship with self.
March 7, 2021
Swing is the sexiest, funniest, most deeply felt memoir I've read in ages. I had to interrupt my husband's reading a dozen times to share parts that were especially hilarious. I kept the other parts (including the teary bits) to myself. Reading this feels like having the beneficial wisdom of a friend who thinks hard about parenting, love, work, body image, friendships, fidelity and how we women navigate the world. The truth is, the racy bits are maybe only 10% at most. And make no mistake, those parts are educational! The rest is just good memoiristic writing about the real stuff, from career and parenting choices to how to make your partner more attentive--and whether you should try.
March 26, 2021
What a beautiful story. Ashleigh sharing the nitty-gritty dirty (and sexy) parts of her life and marriage is brave and inspiring. This story highlights the, often unshared, difficult parts of marriage and relationships. Through this story you watch Ashleigh bravely discover the most challenging part of life: often the issues we have aren't with others but rather with ourselves. Thank you for sharing.
May 29, 2021
Swing is delightful, deep, with just the right amount of dirty. Like the beautifully choreographed transitions on the ice, Renard's execution of her own emotional transition is breathtaking to watch and oh so satisfying in the end. This book is unputdownable!
June 21, 2021
Thank you Kate Rock Book Tours and the author for a complimentary copy. I voluntarily reviewed this book. All opinions expressed are my own.
SWING
By: Ashleigh Renard
REVIEW ☆☆☆☆☆
I could never be brave enough to write a book like SWING, so bravo to Ashleigh Renard for having the moxie to lay it all out for the world to see. Honestly, I was hesitant about reviewing this book because I just didn't know how I would react to the content. I'm so glad I took a step outside of my comfort zone.
SWING is not what you think. Are there steamy situations? Yes. Is this a totally erotic book? No. A mix of erotica, memoir, self help, hilarity and brutal honesty litter this book. The idea is to be real-not perfect-completely real. Don't compare, judge or assume. Just be. An honest self assessment is extremely difficult, but Ashleigh plows straight ahead with courage. Yikes!
The reality of marriage and parenting is so not Leave It To Beaver perfect. That word, perfect, should be stricken from our vocabulary because it doesn't exist. After reading SWING, I have been thinking differently about some things in my life, and I like the direction my mind is going. I laughed, cringed, blushed and guffawed over this book. Most of all, I want to say thank you to Ashleigh Renard for sharing your truth and encouraging others to do the same.
SWING
By: Ashleigh Renard
REVIEW ☆☆☆☆☆
I could never be brave enough to write a book like SWING, so bravo to Ashleigh Renard for having the moxie to lay it all out for the world to see. Honestly, I was hesitant about reviewing this book because I just didn't know how I would react to the content. I'm so glad I took a step outside of my comfort zone.
SWING is not what you think. Are there steamy situations? Yes. Is this a totally erotic book? No. A mix of erotica, memoir, self help, hilarity and brutal honesty litter this book. The idea is to be real-not perfect-completely real. Don't compare, judge or assume. Just be. An honest self assessment is extremely difficult, but Ashleigh plows straight ahead with courage. Yikes!
The reality of marriage and parenting is so not Leave It To Beaver perfect. That word, perfect, should be stricken from our vocabulary because it doesn't exist. After reading SWING, I have been thinking differently about some things in my life, and I like the direction my mind is going. I laughed, cringed, blushed and guffawed over this book. Most of all, I want to say thank you to Ashleigh Renard for sharing your truth and encouraging others to do the same.
February 27, 2021
Loved it !! 👊 It’s an “against all odds” Love Story ♥️♥️♥️
March 22, 2021
This novel is such a quick and interesting read - who hasn’t wanted to do these things with their spouse. Also, a true story that probably hits home for everyone in some way or another. Great inspiration and path back to the trail of life. Well done! 👏🏼 need a sequel, now!
March 20, 2021
In *Swing* Ashleigh Renard has created an entirely new genre: the hot self-help book. So sure, get the book for the sexy bits, but *read* the book for its radical honesty and its steadfast commitment to telling the truth about marriage, adulthood, and parenting. As you read, you’ll realize that in telling the truth about all those complicated difficult relationships, the book also shows us Ashleigh confronting her *own* truth, which is, of course, the hardest truth of all. As a former figure skater and coach, Ashleigh approaches marriage and parenting as if it’s a competition: be perfect and win a medal! But there are no medals in parenting—no medals in life, really—and yet, as Ashleigh’s book shows us, it’s only when we accept our imperfections and our messiness that we stand a chance of getting what we really want. With its wit and grace and wisdom—and some steamy interludes—this book belongs on your shelf next to Glennon Doyle and Brene Brown and Luvvie Ajayi.
March 21, 2021
This book will open your eyes so that you can see the beauty in your life. It has influenced my perspective on love, life, sex, religion, motherhood and so much more. The rawness in book hit me deeper than some therapy sessions have and allowed me to look at my life with a renewed sense of my self-worth. I laughed, I cried and had to put it down for a few days so that I could deal the wounds I thought I had buried. I hope that if you read this you come out as aware of your self-worth as I did.
May 26, 2021
Swing is full of humor, erotic emotions, laughs out loud, and Ashleigh partakes in becoming an adult. The sexy parts were masterfully written & advanced the narrative rather than simply steaming up the room. I found it fascinating how Ashleigh thought about partaking, or shall I say, took part in the swinger's lifestyle. It makes the memoir that much more profound. I loved hearing about the people at the s*x club--their various ages and physiques--, and it was cool to listen to what one is like, too, for that matter. Swing is a book with a wild side, for sure, but if you're someone who has or has had s*x and likes it, then you won't be shocked by what you read. Swing is the most definitely and explicit nurture read. I love the fact Ashleigh was comfortable writing about enjoying sex clubs and wanting to partake /partaking in a swinger lifestyle. It took me deeper into her life. This one, for me, was one of the hottest, steamiest, sexiest self-help memoir books I ever read. I most definitely might check out a sex club/swingers club one of these days, Wink. Ashleigh most definitely delivered the boldest memoir you would ever read. What may rock the next person's boat may not rock your boat, and that is ok. With that being said, grab you a copy of Swing, let Ashleigh take you on a ride. Oh yeah, you might want to grab yourself a glass of wine, a margarita, or whatever adult beverage you prefer, put the kids to bed and unwind.
March 25, 2021
Loved this book! A little risqué. Totally relatable. Would like to read again!
May 25, 2021
While hardcore adulting (“our children used coasters”) and softcore swinging, Ashleigh Renard realized her perfect life…actually kind of sucked. Peeling away her practiced, shiny-homeschooling-supermom exterior, she charted her own course of self-discovery within marriage and family, from peeing when she wants to public schooling, while rediscovering her writing voice. By turns charming, funny, sad and surprising, SWING shows how having the courage to blow up the love you have makes room for the love you deserve. Turning the pages (or listening to the wonderfully author-narrated audiobook) is like being at all-night slumber party with your favorite sister, best friend, and coolest aunt all rolled into one hilarious, honestly flawed spiritual guide & marriage counselor. Yes, Ashleigh, you did it. It’s perfect. And everyone likes you even more.
March 19, 2021
Give yourself permission to read this book and then prepare to begin writing a flurry of self-permission slips. Self-permission slips and ‘a-ha’ moments will rain down like letters addressed to Harry Potter, as you read the brilliant and beautiful words Ashleigh Renard put to her story. Representation matters. And a brave and accomplished woman, writing to other brave and accomplished women, telling them THEIRS is the opinion to be trusted, that matters. This magnificent book matters.
March 12, 2021
I joke that Swing is like self-help and 50 Shades rolled into one but in reality, this book is a beautifully written guidebook for women who are feeling like they are missing something from the world. By realizing that the love that she really needed was already available to her (no spoiler alerts!), Ashleigh leads the way for many other women to discover how they too can find it. Can’t wait to read it again!
March 30, 2021
This book pulled me in and held my attention the whole way through. Following as the author explored what worked for her and what didn’t in herself, her career, and in her marriage was fascinating. Ashleigh’s humor, storytelling, and honesty make this an unforgettable read!
February 23, 2021
I binged the audiobook in 36 hours. Obviously, I loved it. From the steamy sex club details to the honest and upfront motherhood and marriage ups and downs, I couldn't "put it down." In this case, it was more of a play/pause button issue, but you get the point. Thanks for being so real and transparent about your life, Ash. I went from laughing to literally tearing up, and from identifying with the perfectionism that competitive (dancing, in my case) figure skating planted in you to wishing I was as life-experienced and wise as you, all in the span of 28 chapters! I was satisfied with the ending and even though I had a bit of the book hangover I was so glad to have listened to it, and can't wait to get the physical book. 10/10 fantastic.
May 19, 2021
I was enthralled by this book. The racy beginning opens doors to the daily struggles of the mom/family life I am familiar with. So many of the challenges of raising kids and balancing marriage with career demands were addressed throughout the entire book. The author's attempts to go outside of her marriage to seek the attention she craved were fascinating to me. She often came away with wonderful nuggets of wisdom through her struggles. She doesn't appear to hold anything back! I completed reading this book within 48 hours of receiving it as an Advanced Reader Copy for LFL stewards.
As with most memoirs, sharing the life of one can reveal parts of other people's lives that those others may not want to share. This memoir makes me question how the family members mentioned in this book will react, including her children, to the attention they didn't necessarily ask for from details of their lives they didn't ask to share. In these times of oversharing on social media, this will be an excellent conversation starter! Looking forward to sharing this book in my LFL after I pass it on to some friends!
As with most memoirs, sharing the life of one can reveal parts of other people's lives that those others may not want to share. This memoir makes me question how the family members mentioned in this book will react, including her children, to the attention they didn't necessarily ask for from details of their lives they didn't ask to share. In these times of oversharing on social media, this will be an excellent conversation starter! Looking forward to sharing this book in my LFL after I pass it on to some friends!
March 3, 2021
Unbelievably honest and raw. At times I felt like I was peeking in on a scene I shouldn’t have been privy too.
Ashleigh’s ability to take us from the prairies, to the rink, to sex club while sharing the pain and the excitement at each crossroad was astounding. I laughed, I cried, I tingled and I cringed.
There is so much you won’t expect you’ll learn from reading this book.
Ashleigh’s ability to take us from the prairies, to the rink, to sex club while sharing the pain and the excitement at each crossroad was astounding. I laughed, I cried, I tingled and I cringed.
There is so much you won’t expect you’ll learn from reading this book.
May 26, 2021
I have completely binged this book this weekend, ignored my family, pretended to write the report cards I needed to write, binged. Ashleigh, thank you for speaking to the core of every woman listening to your story. I have often contemplated whether I had the capacity to do all of the things motherhood required. The resentment I often feel for the fact that women take on the bulk of the mental burden of mothering, while men often think of themselves and only their needs, while being celebrated by society for being hands on with their kids, often burns deep. Your story of finding yourself helped me to look for myself too♥️
March 28, 2021
Swing immediately pulled me in with the struggle for perfection in ice skating, the young girl being judged and seeking the six. That I so related to the author throughout the memoir might be surprising. I am very uncoordinated (no ice skater here!) and being half-naked in a sex club is only something that would happen to me, a recovering Catholic, in a nightmare. But here’s the thing: Ashleigh Renard and I have traveled the road that so many women journey on. The road to perfection, the daily agreement to bond oneself to impossible expectations.
Sure there’s sex in Swing. It’s all consensual, so it’s all fun—some sexy, some awkward. But there’s also homeschooling, food canning, chicken raising, a job outside the home (Ashleigh ran a skate club for synchronized skaters), and on it goes. If you’ve ever tried to do it all—and if you’re a woman, I know you have—you will love Renard’s honest take about the futility of such a life. You’ll also love her ability to put aside what she believes society’s expectations of her are and to seek a more honest (and thus more genuinely loving) relationship to her husband, her children, and even her in-laws.
Renard comes by her wisdom through struggle. She often thinks of dissolving her marriage so that she can seek a more openly affectionate relationship. I believe that many women think this but don’t say so out loud. Instead, they badmouth their husbands to each other at work, a coping strategy that is pretty much ineffective.
I pre-ordered the memoir and received the audiobook for free, so I listened to it as I took walks in the warm promise of spring. Yesterday, I was on a path where an older man was sitting on a bench to the side, resting. He spoke to me through his mask, and I couldn’t understand what he was saying, so I stopped. “Are you going to win the race?” he asked, laughing. I realized that I was speed walking because I’d come to a point in the book where it seemed like Renard was going to make a giant life-altering mistake. I was fully invested in her story, didn’t want her to suffer through the consequences of such an error. I was trying to outrun the situation. That is, I was completely invested. “Yes, I am!” I told the man and pushed both of my palms into the air, a pandemic version of a high-ten. He air-tapped back.
Bonus round: Renard married into a Greek family. Swing deals with the issues that come up when cultures collide. Many of us have been there, feeling like our in-laws think we are ‘less than.’ Renard’s solution—and it is many years in coming—is honest, heartfelt, and, ultimately, more beneficial than what most of us have done to cope. I recommend it, wholeheartedly, as I do this memoir.
Sure there’s sex in Swing. It’s all consensual, so it’s all fun—some sexy, some awkward. But there’s also homeschooling, food canning, chicken raising, a job outside the home (Ashleigh ran a skate club for synchronized skaters), and on it goes. If you’ve ever tried to do it all—and if you’re a woman, I know you have—you will love Renard’s honest take about the futility of such a life. You’ll also love her ability to put aside what she believes society’s expectations of her are and to seek a more honest (and thus more genuinely loving) relationship to her husband, her children, and even her in-laws.
Renard comes by her wisdom through struggle. She often thinks of dissolving her marriage so that she can seek a more openly affectionate relationship. I believe that many women think this but don’t say so out loud. Instead, they badmouth their husbands to each other at work, a coping strategy that is pretty much ineffective.
I pre-ordered the memoir and received the audiobook for free, so I listened to it as I took walks in the warm promise of spring. Yesterday, I was on a path where an older man was sitting on a bench to the side, resting. He spoke to me through his mask, and I couldn’t understand what he was saying, so I stopped. “Are you going to win the race?” he asked, laughing. I realized that I was speed walking because I’d come to a point in the book where it seemed like Renard was going to make a giant life-altering mistake. I was fully invested in her story, didn’t want her to suffer through the consequences of such an error. I was trying to outrun the situation. That is, I was completely invested. “Yes, I am!” I told the man and pushed both of my palms into the air, a pandemic version of a high-ten. He air-tapped back.
Bonus round: Renard married into a Greek family. Swing deals with the issues that come up when cultures collide. Many of us have been there, feeling like our in-laws think we are ‘less than.’ Renard’s solution—and it is many years in coming—is honest, heartfelt, and, ultimately, more beneficial than what most of us have done to cope. I recommend it, wholeheartedly, as I do this memoir.
May 23, 2021
If you've been following my account for a minute, you know I love steamy romances. So when I heard about Ashleigh Renard's memoir SWING I thought "Yes!"
As expected, there's talk of sex. But even if reading about sex makes you uncomfortable, I absolutely still recommend this memoir! Because it's about so much more than sex. You can skim those parts and still get a deep appreciation for how much heart there is in Ashleigh's stories of growth, self discovery, and doing it all - as a mom, wife, friend, homeschooler, and coach.
There are sex parts that are explicit (I'm here for it!) but it's also about the exploration, the expectations, and reality vs fantasy. And you will learn a bit about the lifestyle! (What lifestyle? Hint: it's in the title!)
Ashleigh talks about her demons and expectations around being a wife and mother, and balancing the working mom life. Just reading about her busy life had me exhausted! 😆 She dives into her exploration of spirituality, examines her need for perfection, talks about the tension with her husband's family, and questions her marriage and other life choices in a way that is honest and raw.
I loved the comparison of what Ashleigh was teaching her skating girls (she was a synchronized skating coach) and what she was telling herself. Her transformation to a woman who lifts up other women AND herself was beautiful to read. I really resonated with the chapters of learning how to love yourself.
At the center of this memoir are the acknowledgements that it's ok to question, to make choices that aren't mainstream, to change your mind, to break up or mend relationships, and to stand up for yourself - to your partner, to your family and even to yourself. I'm sharing a few quotes I loved from the book in the comments.
Grab yourself and a girlfriend a copy!
Quotes I loved:
"They were looking for sexy fun, but also, many of them were trying to connect more deeply with themselves by expressing the aspect of humanness that is the most repressed, the most judged, the most taboo: sexual desire."
"I felt I needed to be better before I loved myself."
"We had to stay in the moment, even when we were certain we were in-between the important parts." (This section made me cry!! 😭)
"To share my writing was to risk being terribly misunderstood."
As expected, there's talk of sex. But even if reading about sex makes you uncomfortable, I absolutely still recommend this memoir! Because it's about so much more than sex. You can skim those parts and still get a deep appreciation for how much heart there is in Ashleigh's stories of growth, self discovery, and doing it all - as a mom, wife, friend, homeschooler, and coach.
There are sex parts that are explicit (I'm here for it!) but it's also about the exploration, the expectations, and reality vs fantasy. And you will learn a bit about the lifestyle! (What lifestyle? Hint: it's in the title!)
Ashleigh talks about her demons and expectations around being a wife and mother, and balancing the working mom life. Just reading about her busy life had me exhausted! 😆 She dives into her exploration of spirituality, examines her need for perfection, talks about the tension with her husband's family, and questions her marriage and other life choices in a way that is honest and raw.
I loved the comparison of what Ashleigh was teaching her skating girls (she was a synchronized skating coach) and what she was telling herself. Her transformation to a woman who lifts up other women AND herself was beautiful to read. I really resonated with the chapters of learning how to love yourself.
At the center of this memoir are the acknowledgements that it's ok to question, to make choices that aren't mainstream, to change your mind, to break up or mend relationships, and to stand up for yourself - to your partner, to your family and even to yourself. I'm sharing a few quotes I loved from the book in the comments.
Grab yourself and a girlfriend a copy!
Quotes I loved:
"They were looking for sexy fun, but also, many of them were trying to connect more deeply with themselves by expressing the aspect of humanness that is the most repressed, the most judged, the most taboo: sexual desire."
"I felt I needed to be better before I loved myself."
"We had to stay in the moment, even when we were certain we were in-between the important parts." (This section made me cry!! 😭)
"To share my writing was to risk being terribly misunderstood."
April 11, 2021
Book 26 of 2021 ✔️
Swing by Ashleigh Renard
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
I stumbled across Ashleigh on IG sometime during quarantine. She shared the process of writing, editing, and then narrating her book. I watched as she recorded her audiobook in her DIY pillow-fort at home, and as she edited out her breathing in between sentences. 😆 I knew I had to pre-order, which (bonus!) gave me early access to the audiobook. I found myself in conversation with Ashleigh on IG numerous times as I listened.
“I couldn’t pause chapter 4 as I approached the gate guard!”
“Where in Maine did you go? That’s where in from!”
“I had basal cell carcinoma too!”
Each time she indulged me and replied. 🙃 How often do we get to speak in real-time to the author of a great book as we listen to it?! 🥰
She brought me along on her journey that was full of honestly, raw emotion, and her desire to improve her marriage and family life. I enjoyed the insight into this elusive lifestyle, and the struggle with balancing “his and hers” beliefs and traditions as she raised her boys.
Thank you, Ashleigh, for sharing your heart and your truth with us. Can’t wait for the next one! 😘 Or the movie. 😉
_______________
Raised in figure skating, Ashleigh brought the quest for perfectionism into marriage and motherhood, striving for the highest level of difficulty while trying to make it all appear effortless and beautiful. Hilarious, heartbreaking, and hopeful, what will she do when she realizes she has taken "doing it all" to a level she never intended?
Swing by Ashleigh Renard
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
I stumbled across Ashleigh on IG sometime during quarantine. She shared the process of writing, editing, and then narrating her book. I watched as she recorded her audiobook in her DIY pillow-fort at home, and as she edited out her breathing in between sentences. 😆 I knew I had to pre-order, which (bonus!) gave me early access to the audiobook. I found myself in conversation with Ashleigh on IG numerous times as I listened.
“I couldn’t pause chapter 4 as I approached the gate guard!”
“Where in Maine did you go? That’s where in from!”
“I had basal cell carcinoma too!”
Each time she indulged me and replied. 🙃 How often do we get to speak in real-time to the author of a great book as we listen to it?! 🥰
She brought me along on her journey that was full of honestly, raw emotion, and her desire to improve her marriage and family life. I enjoyed the insight into this elusive lifestyle, and the struggle with balancing “his and hers” beliefs and traditions as she raised her boys.
Thank you, Ashleigh, for sharing your heart and your truth with us. Can’t wait for the next one! 😘 Or the movie. 😉
_______________
Raised in figure skating, Ashleigh brought the quest for perfectionism into marriage and motherhood, striving for the highest level of difficulty while trying to make it all appear effortless and beautiful. Hilarious, heartbreaking, and hopeful, what will she do when she realizes she has taken "doing it all" to a level she never intended?
June 8, 2021
Ashleigh Reynard has managed the impossible- she’s written a smoking hot page-turner of a memoir that is completely vulnerable and filled with love.
In the beginning, curiosity and mild dissatisfaction lead Ashleigh and her willing husband, Manny, out into the world of sexual exploration. It’s steamy! With a capital S. Ashleigh is earnest. She brings real gusto to their adventures.
Of course, even sex is never just about sex. Sometimes, a woman gets ringworm. And worries about being a good mother, a coach, and daughter-in-law, or even if she wants to stay in her marriage. And then she must examine her past, and her belief system.
For all of her struggles with perfectionism, this is a writer who is willing to be absolutely honest about her imperfections on the page. Ultimately, it’s the humanness that endears us to her story.
“We liked moving along in life like it was a road, one sign post after another, showing us that we were making progress, proving to the people around us that they needn’t worry about us because we were on the right track.
But it’s not a road. It was never a road. It’s a garden.”
I opened this book curious about the adventures of a stranger, but finished reading as a friend.
In the beginning, curiosity and mild dissatisfaction lead Ashleigh and her willing husband, Manny, out into the world of sexual exploration. It’s steamy! With a capital S. Ashleigh is earnest. She brings real gusto to their adventures.
Of course, even sex is never just about sex. Sometimes, a woman gets ringworm. And worries about being a good mother, a coach, and daughter-in-law, or even if she wants to stay in her marriage. And then she must examine her past, and her belief system.
For all of her struggles with perfectionism, this is a writer who is willing to be absolutely honest about her imperfections on the page. Ultimately, it’s the humanness that endears us to her story.
“We liked moving along in life like it was a road, one sign post after another, showing us that we were making progress, proving to the people around us that they needn’t worry about us because we were on the right track.
But it’s not a road. It was never a road. It’s a garden.”
I opened this book curious about the adventures of a stranger, but finished reading as a friend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 26, 2021
In SWING professional athlete, perfectionist mom and world’s worst swinger Ashleigh Renard blows everything up in order to find her true self hiding under all the rules she’s been bound by. Sexy, funny, and beautifully written, this deeply honest book doesn’t shy away from the “lifey-ness” of life. Come for the sex scenes, stay for the Ah face!
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