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Toxic Relationships: Taking Refuge in Christ
Satisfying, loving relationships are a gift from God. But what seems intoxicating becomes toxic if we grow dependent on someone else’s affection, opinions, and presence in our lives. If you’re caught in a relationship―whether romantic, platonic, parental, professional, or something else―that is consuming your life and thoughts and ruling your emotions, get help! It is becoming a prison, but Christ offers us true shelter. Through thirty-one daily readings with reflection questions and practical action steps, Ellen Mary Dykas helps you to renew your growing in your trust of the Lord and becoming prepared to cultivate Christ-centered relationships with others from a place of confidence and peace.
- GenresCounsellingNonfiction
104 pages, Paperback
Published April 7, 2021
31 people are currently reading
95 people want to read
About the author
Ellen Mary Dykas
12 books6 followersEllen Dykas, MA, is the Women's Ministry Coordinator at Harvest USA and oversees their teaching and discipleship of women struggling with relational and sexual issues. She is a graduate of Covenant Seminary and has a graduate certificate in Biblical Counseling. In addition, she has over twenty years of experience in teaching and mentoring others through the Bible.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 30, 2021
Read this as I was part of Ellen's book launch team. Never realized how many toxic relationships I have in my life!!!! It was SO helpful and pointed me to Jesus. Bravo Ellen. Thank you.
December 24, 2021
A great read for any Christian woman who has friends. You either are or have been/currently are friends with the women she describes. She also gives great practical advice for how to change your own shortcomings in this area. A few things felt like over explaining or not going deep enough, but that's pretty typical for a devotional book. It's also great that this is so short. Makes it approachable.
February 16, 2022
This whole series of devotionals has been good. I think I rated all the others 5 stars. This one overall was good and I would use it as homework in Biblical counseling or to give someone struggling with fear of man. It offers Biblical help when we have made certain relationships into idols, placing value and expectations on them that were never meant to be.
There were a few things that made me hesitant to give it a higher rating. 1) The title - When I think of toxic relationships, I think of abusive relationships. I agree that there are many other unbiblical forms relationships can take that are bad, but I think many who could benefit from this devotional wouldn't read it because they wouldn't think of their relationship as toxic.
2) Along with the first point, I wish that more Biblical terms were used instead of toxic and co-dependency. Those are terms that the world uses more, and they automatically produced ideas in our head from what the world has said. One of the first things I learned when I began pursuing being a Biblical counselor was how important it was to use Biblical terms, so that we would know how to look for Biblical answers. Fear of man and idolatry are two that come to mind for this devotion.
3) There were a few verses that I thought more meaning or different meaning was being put into them than is conveyed in Scripture. None were major or unbiblical meanings or I wouldn't recommend the book. One instant referred to Jesus' family as being imperfect. I don't disagree. No family is perfect, but only one example was used from John 7:5 where the family thought Jesus was out of His mind. Jesus' half brother James became a believer and even wrote one of the letters in the New Testament. His mother was with Him to the end, and she had more divine insight into who He was than almost anyone else. She believed Yes, Jesus understood family problems first hand, but this verse by itself doesn't give the whole picture of Jesus' family. Jesus didn't write off His family because of this one instance. Most families are a mixture of good and bad.
There were a few things that made me hesitant to give it a higher rating. 1) The title - When I think of toxic relationships, I think of abusive relationships. I agree that there are many other unbiblical forms relationships can take that are bad, but I think many who could benefit from this devotional wouldn't read it because they wouldn't think of their relationship as toxic.
2) Along with the first point, I wish that more Biblical terms were used instead of toxic and co-dependency. Those are terms that the world uses more, and they automatically produced ideas in our head from what the world has said. One of the first things I learned when I began pursuing being a Biblical counselor was how important it was to use Biblical terms, so that we would know how to look for Biblical answers. Fear of man and idolatry are two that come to mind for this devotion.
3) There were a few verses that I thought more meaning or different meaning was being put into them than is conveyed in Scripture. None were major or unbiblical meanings or I wouldn't recommend the book. One instant referred to Jesus' family as being imperfect. I don't disagree. No family is perfect, but only one example was used from John 7:5 where the family thought Jesus was out of His mind. Jesus' half brother James became a believer and even wrote one of the letters in the New Testament. His mother was with Him to the end, and she had more divine insight into who He was than almost anyone else. She believed Yes, Jesus understood family problems first hand, but this verse by itself doesn't give the whole picture of Jesus' family. Jesus didn't write off His family because of this one instance. Most families are a mixture of good and bad.
June 24, 2021
It came in the mail as a gift the other day, so my wife and I sat down and used it together in our evening devotions. "Toxic Relationships: Taking Refuge in Christ" is a 104-page softback devotional crafted by Ellen Mary Dykas, women’s ministry coordinator at Harvest USA and the author of Sexual Sanity for Women as well as several mini-books. This is part of the "31-Day Devotionals for Life" series edited by Deepak Reju. My wife and I just finished the easy-to-read mini-manual tonight and I rushed right in to give it this review.
"Toxic Relationships" is exactly what this book is about. Each devotional begins with a Scripture passage, and then 1.5 pages of reflections on the biblical text and how it addresses some aspect of our relationship's toxicity and the Gospel-remedy. Dykas tackles same-sex associations, marriages, dating, abusive affiliations, co-dependency, and other connections that are poisoned or poisonous. As the author notes, toxic relationships "always have unbiblical, self-determined convictions and strategies, or unbelief, at their core. We think (believe) that we deserve to be loved the way we want and demand that people make us feel good about ourselves. We think (believe) that a deep connection with someone who becomes a god to us is actually a beautiful commitment" (41). And yet, the more "you let people rule your heart, the more insecure you will be" (88). These are constant themes in the booklet.
"Toxic Relationships" would make a useful family devotional, and it is ideal for adults and teens whether they are married or single. And if you're a counselor, it will be good homework material for the people you're helping. I highly recommend the work.
My thanks to the editor and P&R Publishing for generously sending me a copy of the book as an unsolicited gift. They didn't ask for anything in return, but I thought I would do my part by freely and happily writing this small evaluation.
"Toxic Relationships" is exactly what this book is about. Each devotional begins with a Scripture passage, and then 1.5 pages of reflections on the biblical text and how it addresses some aspect of our relationship's toxicity and the Gospel-remedy. Dykas tackles same-sex associations, marriages, dating, abusive affiliations, co-dependency, and other connections that are poisoned or poisonous. As the author notes, toxic relationships "always have unbiblical, self-determined convictions and strategies, or unbelief, at their core. We think (believe) that we deserve to be loved the way we want and demand that people make us feel good about ourselves. We think (believe) that a deep connection with someone who becomes a god to us is actually a beautiful commitment" (41). And yet, the more "you let people rule your heart, the more insecure you will be" (88). These are constant themes in the booklet.
"Toxic Relationships" would make a useful family devotional, and it is ideal for adults and teens whether they are married or single. And if you're a counselor, it will be good homework material for the people you're helping. I highly recommend the work.
My thanks to the editor and P&R Publishing for generously sending me a copy of the book as an unsolicited gift. They didn't ask for anything in return, but I thought I would do my part by freely and happily writing this small evaluation.
September 21, 2022
When you hear the title “Toxic Relationships” you probably think of someone in your life that the world says you need to just cut out. But have you ever though that maybe the toxic one is actually you? This book turns the arrow around and points the reader to the way that their hearts unhealthily desire relationships with others over and above their relationship with Christ. You don’t have to have one person or relationship in mind for this book to be profoundly helpful. We all have relationships that we at times can desire to turn toxic because of our own sin. This book was both convicting and encouraging, and I can’t recommend it enough.
December 30, 2021
A great read for any Christian woman who has friends. You either are or have been/currently are friends with the women she describes. She also gives great practical advice for how to change your own shortcomings in this area. A few things felt like over explaining or not going deep enough, but that's pretty typical for a devotional book. It's also great that this is so short. Makes it approachable.
June 22, 2021
Really helpful, full of biblical truths we all need to remember.
Realized you can even be involved in a toxic relationship with people at church, and it's necessary to go to Jesus and with his help, improve your personal relationships.
Realized you can even be involved in a toxic relationship with people at church, and it's necessary to go to Jesus and with his help, improve your personal relationships.
September 15, 2021
Helpful. Christ centered.
August 24, 2022
This book wasn’t what I had expected. It’s a book about co-dependency or expecting someone to be in the place of Jesus in your life. It’s about the reader working through their own sin patterns, turning to Jesus rather than making everything about that person. I had hoped for a book on how to deal with someone in my life who is toxic towards me.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews