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Fall in Love, Have Children, Stay Put, Save the Planet, Be Happy

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A post-coronavirus evolution-based how-to for putting living ahead of work.

Bestselling author Frank Schaeffer offers a passionate political, social, and lifestyle “blueprint” for changes millions of us know are needed to rebalance our work lives with thriving Fall in Love, Have Children, Stay Put, Save the Planet, Be Happy . Even before everything was disrupted by COVID-19 (not to mention by Trump), millions of Americans were already questioning capitalism’s “values.” We were already challenging the idea that your job defines you. We already knew something was wrong. Loneliness, frustration, and alienation were already on the rise. Even the most successful of us felt too busy, too preoccupied, and too distracted to enjoy what we intuitively know are life’s greatest vibrant relationships, family life, connection to others, involvement in our community, and the thrilling experience of love.

Fall in Love . . . builds a well-researched and entertaining bridge to living happier lives and to a better future. It shows us that based on a better understanding of our evolutionary selves, we can thrive in family life and in our work life, too. But to do both joyfully—and at the same time—depends on rediscovering the priority of relationships, connections, community, and love.

368 pages, Paperback

Published November 2, 2021

14 people are currently reading
1108 people want to read

About the author

Frank Schaeffer

51 books147 followers
Frank Schaeffer is a New York Times bestselling author of more than a dozen books. Frank is a survivor of both polio and an evangelical/fundamentalist childhood, an acclaimed writer who overcame severe dyslexia, a home-schooled and self-taught documentary movie director, a feature film director of four low budget Hollywood features Frank has described as “pretty terrible.” He is also an acclaimed author of both fiction and nonfiction and an artist with a loyal following of international collectors who own many of his oil paintings. Frank has been a frequent guest on the Rachel Maddow Show on NBC, has appeared on Oprah, been interviewed by Terri Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air and appeared on the Today Show, BBC News and many other media outlets. He is a much sought after speaker and has lectured at a wide range of venues from Harvard’s Kennedy School to the Hammer Museum/UCLA, Princeton University, Riverside Church Cathedral, DePaul University and the Kansas City Public Library.

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5 stars
13 (33%)
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10 (25%)
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8 (20%)
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
Profile Image for Krista.
139 reviews2 followers
December 21, 2021
I wanted to love this book. Schaefer makes some excellent points about what makes us happy and healthy and how American society does not support healthy happy people or families.

However, the style and tone of the book were irritating.

Half the book is devoted to him telling stories of how wonderful it was to spend time with his granddaughter, Lucy, as a caregiver during the COVID shutdown. Entire chunks are actually addressed to her. It seems like a lovely time- but page after page of bragging Grandfather gets old.

Another large chunk of the book is angry tirade and name calling against the religious right. I agree with his points, but it feels like emotional diatribe rather than well reasoned argument.
Profile Image for Christyn.
23 reviews
June 24, 2023
I really appreciate how this book flips societal attitudes on their head and makes you question why we often put things such as career and education above building meaningful relationships and starting families. Schaeffer advocates for a truly pro-family society, across generations, while passionately calling for policy changes to make it possible for people to have choices about the kind of family they want to create.
Profile Image for  Amanda.
12 reviews7 followers
June 3, 2022
Wow this book was a wild read.
I didn't know who Frank Schaeffer was before winning a copy of this book in a goodreads giveaway, I'm glad I was introduced to him through reading this book.

The language comes off as aggressive at times, but after re-reading some of it I see it as passionate now rather than aggressive.

I felt like a lot of the feelings and emotions he wrote about were very relatable as a parent. Guilt over passed mistakes as a parent was the one that stuck out for me.

I think what I appreciate most from this book is being able to word how I've felt about my work/life balance and family choices.
My dad worked so much when I was growing up, so I didn't get to know him until I was an adult. That shaped the parent I strive to be.
Making memories with my kids is important to me. Going to all there practices, meetings, or just walking around picking up trash together while he tells me about the puppet characters he and a classmate made.

So reading about how important all that is to someone else was validating.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jaz Rodriguez.
18 reviews1 follower
May 19, 2023
I was looking forward to reading this after hearing an interview with Frank on a podcast but was disappointed. Half of the book read like diary entries to his granddaughter about their make-believe play time together in his time as her carer during covid lockdowns. Whilst these entries will be lovely for his granddaughter to read in years to come, they bored me and had me constantly checking how many pages I had left to read.

The rest of the book consistently referenced other people's work, i.e., articles or studies which fast became redundant. Whilst this is important, I felt there were too many references to other people in his effort to hammer home his point and the credentials of each person would have been better listed as a footnote rather than in the body of the text.

Whilst I appreciate the author's transparency, I didn't feel the need to read about his "lovely" sex life with his wife or his prostate issues.

The author had some very valid points on how we can all live more sustainably and connected; however, my only real takeaway from this was that we should all move to Finland.
Profile Image for Βιβή Κανάρη.
Author 8 books18 followers
August 2, 2021
I really loved this book. It is thought provoking and enjoyable at the same time. The writer seems to have a quite interesting life so far with unique experiences to share. With the pandemic as a trigger, he wonders if we have really understood the real meaning of life so far. Is money and career important or not?
Profile Image for Ellen Hamilton.
44 reviews4 followers
November 7, 2021
Schaefer is a man who endured evangelical proselytizing and was instrumental in the right’s war on women’s choice until he saw the light. He changed. He shirked his indoctrinated misogynistic ways and dared to embrace all people, including women, gays, other cultures (gasp, shocking).
Interesting info in the book:
1. Sperm counts declined by more than 50% between 1973 and 2011. Blame pollution.
2. CDC says 9% of men were infertile in 2018 and will likely rise to 41% by 2050. Again, blame pollution.
3. In 2019, 4 times the number of male cops died by suicide than in the line of duty. Author says it’s hard living the thug life.
10 reviews
March 12, 2022
A bit rambling and repetitive at times, but I agree 100% with his main points, and I enjoyed the letters to his granddaughter which are a very personal and sweet touch (and make me want to be a better parent!) The author is an interesting person, but is direct and completely unapologetic about his views and opinions. While I suppose he is entitled to that given his age and life experiences, I couldn’t help thinking that he might win over more people if he were a touch more diplomatic. Anyone who reads this who is not of the same liberal leaning is likely to be turned off early on by his blunt assessments, which is unfortunate given the importance of this book’s content.
Profile Image for The_J.
2,504 reviews9 followers
April 3, 2022
Top line - Strip away the muck and painful lack of insight; it is crystal clear: don't believe that your job is your life, treat your family as important and worth love, and channel your genetic heritage and produce offspring effectively. But a blueberry trapped in a garbage muffin, doesn't make for a sumptuous repast. The subtitle offered is "Stay put be happy" (yes Mr. raised in Switzerland). The story as written by the self-proclaimed "mother" starts with unplanned teenage pregnancy, but of course with the strong support of abortion now embraced by the author, would have no longer been a joining experience in a lifetime marriage, but rather an expulsion of an unwanted clump of cells. But it is clear now that in this time of alienation and centripetal isolation, the society is living in two different worlds, until one of them collapses under the weight of cashless bail, rampant corruption, street violence, and dare I quote Ghostbusters: "Dogs and cats living together."
8 reviews
November 3, 2021
Timely, profound, and a great read

Frank Schaeffer has captured the strengths and challenges of the world we live in at this moment. He supports his views and recommendations with hard science, without bogging down in data. Whatever stage of life the reader occupies, they will find ideas to improve their quality of life and make positive contributions to family, communities, and the planet we live on.
3 reviews
February 9, 2022
It’s repetitive, it’s a little all over the place…but his passion! I took so much away from this book. Just looking up his references expanded my art history knowledge - and I’m a painter. I should know these things!
I was a “follower” , to some degree, of his father and I completely understand his break with all of that. While letting go of that dogma, he hung onto the intelligence and the constant seeking of knowledge. He makes aging exciting. Many of his thoughts have changed mine.
Profile Image for Deanna.
49 reviews2 followers
February 20, 2022
I inhaled this book. How I wish more people felt the way he does. We would all be much happier.
Profile Image for Tima.
128 reviews1 follower
February 1, 2023
2.5. Not a book, as much as the author's musings. Some were good, some were very subjective, and a lot was redundant.
Profile Image for James Hollomon.
Author 3 books43 followers
January 7, 2022
I don't read self-help genre books often, and I rarely give any book more than four stars. I'm only about 1/4 of the way through this tour-de-force, but I think it may end up the best book I have ever read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews

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