What do you think?
Rate this book
More to Life than More: A Memoir of Misunderstanding, Loss, and Learning
At the age of thirty, just as everything was falling into place for him, Lee Pesky died of brain cancer. For his father, Alan, grief came with the realization that he had lost the chance to love Lee as he was—not as he wanted him to be. Ambitious, successful, and always striving for more, Alan had a hard time relating to a son who struggled with learning disabilities at a time when there was little understanding or help for kids who had them. Their relationship was complicated, and now, Lee was gone.
More to Life Than More is a memoir of misunderstanding, loss, and learning. After Lee’s death, Alan’s conception of more crumbles. He launches himself into keeping Lee’s memory alive by helping kids in a way he wasn’t able to help his son. It was too late to change his relationship with Lee, but he could create something positive and enduring from his Lee Pesky Learning Center, a non-profit in Idaho dedicated to understanding and helping those with learning differences.
In 25 years, LPLC has benefited more than 100,000 children and has become a national force for early childhood literacy. And for Alan, it has meant getting to know the son he had misunderstood and lost.
More to Life Than More is a memoir of misunderstanding, loss, and learning. After Lee’s death, Alan’s conception of more crumbles. He launches himself into keeping Lee’s memory alive by helping kids in a way he wasn’t able to help his son. It was too late to change his relationship with Lee, but he could create something positive and enduring from his Lee Pesky Learning Center, a non-profit in Idaho dedicated to understanding and helping those with learning differences.
In 25 years, LPLC has benefited more than 100,000 children and has become a national force for early childhood literacy. And for Alan, it has meant getting to know the son he had misunderstood and lost.
222 pages, Hardcover
Published September 7, 2021
3 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 28, 2021
What a tragic but loving story dealing with an super achieving father who had great monumental plans for his family, himself and his children. Unfortunately, his one son Lee, was a disappointment and while Lee suffered from multiple learning disabilities, his father rose to the pinnacle of success in the advertising world.
Unable to understand Lee's inability with a philosophy of you need to try harder, it wasn't until the devastating news of Lee's impending death from a massive brain tumor, that made Alan Pesky reflect on both his life and the life of his now thirty year old son.
After Lee's death, Alan, his wife and his family decide of a way in which to honor Lee's memory. They established and ran the Lee Pesky Learning Center, dedicated to helping children having learning issues find their way to learning and not feeling like one who is unable learn like others.
The institute, over its twenty-five years history, has helped more that 100,000 children and is a fitting tribute to both Lee and the people who founded it.
The book is an interesting look into how we as parents at times do expect quite a lot from our children. We fail to recognize that everyone has their strengths along withe their weaknesses and it is often these weaknesses that can determine our ability to look at our children with a clear eye.
I enjoyed the story, but did wish that Alan Pesky had left out some of the details of how successful he himself was. It tended to take away from Lee I thought. It was as if he couldn’t help but inform the reader what a great accomplished person he was. It was a big turnoff for me. I could see in his reflections how he must have been a tough taskmaster in both his job and his children's lives. I left the story with a sense of happiness that something so wonderful was able to come from something so tragic as the death of a son.
Thank you to the authors, Skyhorse Publishing, and NetGalley for a copy of this book which was published on September 7, 2021.
Unable to understand Lee's inability with a philosophy of you need to try harder, it wasn't until the devastating news of Lee's impending death from a massive brain tumor, that made Alan Pesky reflect on both his life and the life of his now thirty year old son.
After Lee's death, Alan, his wife and his family decide of a way in which to honor Lee's memory. They established and ran the Lee Pesky Learning Center, dedicated to helping children having learning issues find their way to learning and not feeling like one who is unable learn like others.
The institute, over its twenty-five years history, has helped more that 100,000 children and is a fitting tribute to both Lee and the people who founded it.
The book is an interesting look into how we as parents at times do expect quite a lot from our children. We fail to recognize that everyone has their strengths along withe their weaknesses and it is often these weaknesses that can determine our ability to look at our children with a clear eye.
I enjoyed the story, but did wish that Alan Pesky had left out some of the details of how successful he himself was. It tended to take away from Lee I thought. It was as if he couldn’t help but inform the reader what a great accomplished person he was. It was a big turnoff for me. I could see in his reflections how he must have been a tough taskmaster in both his job and his children's lives. I left the story with a sense of happiness that something so wonderful was able to come from something so tragic as the death of a son.
Thank you to the authors, Skyhorse Publishing, and NetGalley for a copy of this book which was published on September 7, 2021.
August 20, 2021
I received an advanced copy of this book to review for the Idaho Press. Here is my review in full:
Writing anything is hard, but few genres get fumbled quite like memoir.
To do it right, the writer has to have a triple threat of a compelling story, a not always flattering level of introspection and the writing ability to pull it off. So often the people with enough self-importance to write one don’t have much of substance to say or the self-reflection to make it worth reading. After all, nobody wants to read a book about someone who thinks they did everything right.
In less capable hands, “More to Life Than More” could have fallen into some of those pitfalls. But, instead, Alan Pesky’s memoir about the death of his middle son, Lee, suddenly to cancer and the founding of Boise’s Lee Pesky Learning Center soars with emotion, hard lessons and zippy writing. It’s a compelling story of learning from our most difficult loved ones and healing from loss with a dedication to public service that anyone would enjoy, especially if you have an interest in education.
Lee was not what Pesky expected. The high-powered advertising executive had high hopes for his three children to succeed in athletics and in the classroom, eventually rising to greatness. This was no problem for his oldest and his youngest, but Lee struggled. School didn’t come easily to him, and he never grew to love sports as a kid the way his father longed for.
Eventually, Lee was diagnosed with a learning disability that hampered his coordination and his academics. This helped explain some of his difficulties, but it didn’t necessarily make Pesky’s relationship with his son any easier over the years. They had their tussles, but eventually, they reached a peaceful understanding and Lee thrived as a small business owner in Ketchum. All just in time for him to die of a large, rapidly spreading brain tumor.
What follows is the story of how Pesky and his wife Wendy navigated his death and their grief and turned it into the Lee Pesky Learning Center to support children with learning disabilities in Boise and across Idaho to help people like his son. Along the way, Pesky (with the help of his co-author Claudia Aulum) spins great yarn about his childhood in Queens, raising his family, launching a successful advertising firm at the height of the “Mad Men” era in New York City and the challenging early days of the nonprofit. With the inclusion of great color, Pesky and Aulum turn what could have been a melodramatic sap fest into a breezy, tear-jerking read.
Launching the Lee Pesky Learning Center is a great achievement that has touched many lives, but what was most striking about this book is Pesky’s willingness to admit fault and look back on the past with a critical eye. He openly talks about how he pushed Lee to fit into a box he wasn’t built for, and the damage it did to their relationship. Pesky looks deep into his parenting and the love he had for his son, calling him his “greatest teacher.” There are few parents who examine their mistakes to this degree, let alone write about it honestly.
When launching the center, Pesky dove in to learn as much about learning disabilities and education as he could. He didn’t just write the check, he lived and breathed the project for years. This shines through in the book’s second half, where he talks about the center’s philosophy on learning, the early days of the launch and the importance in education for every child. Pesky also has a unique sensitivity to the challenges families of children with learning difficulties face having lived it himself, and I especially enjoyed the discussions of how families can work with their children to help them flourish instead of punishing them for being “different.”
There are sections in the education-heavy second half that can make your eyes glaze over if you’re not all in on the science of education, but every time it gets too overwhelming Pesky and Aulum rescue it and the book starts flowing once again. It’s a tricky balance, but they walked it well enough that any education professional would enjoy this but it remains readable to someone outside the field.
When Pesky lost his son, he turned around and gave back an immeasurable amount to Idaho’s children. The story of how it all happened is well worth your time.
Writing anything is hard, but few genres get fumbled quite like memoir.
To do it right, the writer has to have a triple threat of a compelling story, a not always flattering level of introspection and the writing ability to pull it off. So often the people with enough self-importance to write one don’t have much of substance to say or the self-reflection to make it worth reading. After all, nobody wants to read a book about someone who thinks they did everything right.
In less capable hands, “More to Life Than More” could have fallen into some of those pitfalls. But, instead, Alan Pesky’s memoir about the death of his middle son, Lee, suddenly to cancer and the founding of Boise’s Lee Pesky Learning Center soars with emotion, hard lessons and zippy writing. It’s a compelling story of learning from our most difficult loved ones and healing from loss with a dedication to public service that anyone would enjoy, especially if you have an interest in education.
Lee was not what Pesky expected. The high-powered advertising executive had high hopes for his three children to succeed in athletics and in the classroom, eventually rising to greatness. This was no problem for his oldest and his youngest, but Lee struggled. School didn’t come easily to him, and he never grew to love sports as a kid the way his father longed for.
Eventually, Lee was diagnosed with a learning disability that hampered his coordination and his academics. This helped explain some of his difficulties, but it didn’t necessarily make Pesky’s relationship with his son any easier over the years. They had their tussles, but eventually, they reached a peaceful understanding and Lee thrived as a small business owner in Ketchum. All just in time for him to die of a large, rapidly spreading brain tumor.
What follows is the story of how Pesky and his wife Wendy navigated his death and their grief and turned it into the Lee Pesky Learning Center to support children with learning disabilities in Boise and across Idaho to help people like his son. Along the way, Pesky (with the help of his co-author Claudia Aulum) spins great yarn about his childhood in Queens, raising his family, launching a successful advertising firm at the height of the “Mad Men” era in New York City and the challenging early days of the nonprofit. With the inclusion of great color, Pesky and Aulum turn what could have been a melodramatic sap fest into a breezy, tear-jerking read.
Launching the Lee Pesky Learning Center is a great achievement that has touched many lives, but what was most striking about this book is Pesky’s willingness to admit fault and look back on the past with a critical eye. He openly talks about how he pushed Lee to fit into a box he wasn’t built for, and the damage it did to their relationship. Pesky looks deep into his parenting and the love he had for his son, calling him his “greatest teacher.” There are few parents who examine their mistakes to this degree, let alone write about it honestly.
When launching the center, Pesky dove in to learn as much about learning disabilities and education as he could. He didn’t just write the check, he lived and breathed the project for years. This shines through in the book’s second half, where he talks about the center’s philosophy on learning, the early days of the launch and the importance in education for every child. Pesky also has a unique sensitivity to the challenges families of children with learning difficulties face having lived it himself, and I especially enjoyed the discussions of how families can work with their children to help them flourish instead of punishing them for being “different.”
There are sections in the education-heavy second half that can make your eyes glaze over if you’re not all in on the science of education, but every time it gets too overwhelming Pesky and Aulum rescue it and the book starts flowing once again. It’s a tricky balance, but they walked it well enough that any education professional would enjoy this but it remains readable to someone outside the field.
When Pesky lost his son, he turned around and gave back an immeasurable amount to Idaho’s children. The story of how it all happened is well worth your time.
June 30, 2023
This book is well-written and moving. The author tells how he is able to take the devastating pain of the loss of his son and use it to make a positive change in the world. He does this in more ways than one. He changes his heart to empathize with and understand more about a challenging learning disability that his son dealt with during his lifetime. Deeply trying in retrospect to reflect on how he could have better helped his son, Lee, with his challenges in learning, he does the ultimate. He educates himself in the latest research based information on learning challenges and creates a successful nonprofit named after his son: The Lee Pesky Institute.
Centered in Boise, Idaho, he gathers some of the best researchers and teachers in the field of education and learning disabilities. Alan Pesky employs many of these people to be able to reach out to and help people with challenges like Dylexia, ADHD, Dyscalculia, and so on with the latest research on what approaches and help them the best. In addition, they provide diagnostic testing to identify their areas of need. This testing goes beyond what most schools can give.
Instead of fruitlessly wallowing in regret over not being informed enough about his son's not understood learning disability of earlier times, he moves forward to lead a group with the latest research and skills to help many people like Lee to better understand and manage their learning challenges. In the end, it is an inspiring book from someone who has learned much worth sharing on his journey.
Centered in Boise, Idaho, he gathers some of the best researchers and teachers in the field of education and learning disabilities. Alan Pesky employs many of these people to be able to reach out to and help people with challenges like Dylexia, ADHD, Dyscalculia, and so on with the latest research on what approaches and help them the best. In addition, they provide diagnostic testing to identify their areas of need. This testing goes beyond what most schools can give.
Instead of fruitlessly wallowing in regret over not being informed enough about his son's not understood learning disability of earlier times, he moves forward to lead a group with the latest research and skills to help many people like Lee to better understand and manage their learning challenges. In the end, it is an inspiring book from someone who has learned much worth sharing on his journey.
October 11, 2021
A beautiful, very honest account on what it means to live with learning differences - From an outside perspective obviously. Filled with facts, but engaging and superbly written, making it easy to turn page after page to gain a comprehensive understanding.
This memoir also stresses the importance of a child's familial as well as general surroundings in terms of equal learning opportunities and the general patience and understanding with which difficulties in reading, writing, or other elements of education are being met. I find that perspective (especially in the way it's articulated) very important, refreshing and kind. It has a way of making one, even at such a young age as myself, question one's own approaches towards and assumptions on "the kids who just don't try hard enough" while never losing sight of the hope that progress is being made, and the circumstances will continue to improve.
While I am writing this, I think of Lee and many kids like him who spent (at least a part of) their lives misunderstood and overlooked - and who were overlooked by me, too, until this opened my eyes to the scale of this issue and the measures we must all take - starting with ourselves - to help.
This memoir also stresses the importance of a child's familial as well as general surroundings in terms of equal learning opportunities and the general patience and understanding with which difficulties in reading, writing, or other elements of education are being met. I find that perspective (especially in the way it's articulated) very important, refreshing and kind. It has a way of making one, even at such a young age as myself, question one's own approaches towards and assumptions on "the kids who just don't try hard enough" while never losing sight of the hope that progress is being made, and the circumstances will continue to improve.
While I am writing this, I think of Lee and many kids like him who spent (at least a part of) their lives misunderstood and overlooked - and who were overlooked by me, too, until this opened my eyes to the scale of this issue and the measures we must all take - starting with ourselves - to help.
October 28, 2021
This book will break your heart into small pieces and then put it back together again with hope and inspiration. The transformation of Alan Pesky's perspective on what is important in life begins with the death of his son Lee. One of three children, Lee did not measure up to his father Alan's expectations of success in school, athletics, or business. But when Lee is diagnosed with brain cancer at age 30 and dies just over two months later, Alan redirects his own life of personal achievement into a life of helping young people learn in a way that works for them - like he wished he had done with Lee. The story is painful, but Alan's transformation is moving. Beautifully written.
May 21, 2021
Alan's journey has been remarkable. This book is about so much more than Learning Disabilities.
It is about understanding, forgiveness, parenting. I was deeply moved by Alan and his choices and perspectives. You never no what live is going to bring forth- and Alan really showcases that.
As a parent of an LD child I was able to see myself in some of Alan's questions and struggles.
A very interesting memoir that I would would recommend to anyone!
It is about understanding, forgiveness, parenting. I was deeply moved by Alan and his choices and perspectives. You never no what live is going to bring forth- and Alan really showcases that.
As a parent of an LD child I was able to see myself in some of Alan's questions and struggles.
A very interesting memoir that I would would recommend to anyone!
June 2, 2021
More to Life than More is a beautiful memoir about family dynamics, loss, regrets and learning. Many times in life, we are faced with the "if I only" or "I wish I had" moments. The author turned those moments of regret into a meaningful path that led to the creation of a nonprofit that has helped thousands of children like his son. While heartbreaking at times, this book is a reminder that hope and positivity help us survive our darkest times.
August 8, 2021
This is an incredibly honest and inspirational read. The strength and grit of my parents to shift from the most tragic in life (the loss of Lee) to the creation of the Lee Pesky Learning Center will not allow you to put down the book. "More to Life than More" is for parents, grandparents, kids, educators, and anyone who has dealt with loss and struggles with learning, or is looking to be inspired.
April 19, 2022
Very raw and honest and moving. Great exploration of multi level relationships.i
April 12, 2024
I appreciated the point of view of a father who loved his son, but struggled with understanding him. It gets a bit self-aggrandizing in parts, but that's pretty typical of a memoir and, overall, it's mild.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews