Addict in the Family: Support Through Loss, Hope, and Recovery

by Beverly Conyers

The family recovery classic, Addict in the Family , has been revised and updated to offer parents and other family members even greater support when faced with the reality of a loved one’s addiction. Solid, actionable advice and information about what helps and what doesn’t—and how to care for themselves—make this an indispensable guide.

For families of addicts, fear, shame, and confusion over a loved one’s addiction can cause deep anxiety, sleepless nights, and even physical illness. The emotional distress family members suffer is often compounded by the belief that they somehow caused or contributed to their loved one’s addiction—or that they could have done something to prevent it.

Addict in the Family is a book about the pain of addiction, but more importantly it is a book of comfort, understanding, and hope for anyone struggling with a loved one’s addiction. As the compelling personal stories reveal, family members do not cause their loved one’s addiction—nor can they control or cure it. What family members can do is find support, set boundaries, detach with love, and eventually discover how to enjoy life more fully. This book helps them do just that—whether the loved one achieves recovery or not.

Genres: Addiction, Nonfiction

225 pages, Paperback

Published October 26, 2021

About the author

I began writing about addiction in 2003 after discovering that my younger daughter had become addicted to heroin. I wanted to learn everything I could about the disease and also to help others who were struggling to cope with a loved one’s addiction.

Over the years, I grew increasingly interested in the process of recovery, which led me to confront the destructive role that alcohol has played in my own life. I’ve come to believe that most addictions (including compulsive behaviors and self-defeating thought patterns) are an attempt to escape the pain of simply being who we are (or who we think we are). My fourth book, FIND YOUR LIGHT: PRACTICING MINDFULNESS TO RECOVER FROM ANYTHING, explores how mindfulness can support recovery by gently guiding us toward self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.

Q & A with Beverly Conyers

HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE ADDICTION?
Addiction is rampant in our society and takes many forms, including substance use, disordered eating, gambling, compulsive Internet use, hoarding, video game addiction, porn or sex addiction, and self-defeating thought patterns. These problematic patterns of thinking and behaving enter the realm of addiction when they create persistent, serious problems in our life. These can include fractured relationships, workplace problems, and compromised mental and physical health.

WHAT'S BEHIND ALL THESE ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS?
Most people with addictions live with deep feelings of shame and inadequacy – the belief that we’re just not “good enough” as we are. These painful feelings of being fundamentally unacceptable – which often operate at a subconscious level -- help fuel addiction and undermine recovery. We’re constantly looking for distractions and escape because we find it so hard to be alone with our thoughts – most of which are based on deeply ingrained but ultimately false ideas about ourselves and our world.

HOW CAN MINDFULNESS HELP WITH RECOVERY?
Addiction is about escape. Mindfulness is about awareness. It opens our eyes to new ways of understanding ourselves and our world. It helps us recognize the false beliefs and damaging thoughts that prevent us from finding happiness and peace of mind. It teaches us to value all living things, including ourselves, and allows us to see ourselves as part of a greater whole. As awareness grows, we begin to awaken our innate talents, strengths, and moral goodness. And by learning to let go of the automatic thoughts that consume so much of our mental energy, we free ourselves to discover who we really are. We find out what really matters to us and develop the values, sense of purpose, and self-discipline that lay the foundation for genuine happiness.

Reviews

[Krysta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book would be most helpful for those who have family members who are struggling with addiction and recovery ❤️

[Alexa O’Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

100% worth the read if you love an addict, know an addict, or simply want to understand more.

[Jacey Silk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book and I am thankful to Beverly Conyers for writing it. I come from a family full of addicts and have a drive to end the cycle of addiction. This books provides understanding about the psychology of addiction and fights against the stigmas associated with it. “Addict in the Family” helps the readers find peace in a situation that can only be changed by the addict themselves and offers positive ways to live with the addicted loved one without compromising yourself.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was easy to read and very validating. It helped me to see that I’m not alone in what I’m going through. It also helped to see that my reactions to dealing with an alcoholic loved one are the same as most other people’s reactions. It has helped me find some measure of peace and that’s all I can ask for right now.

[E · Rating 5 out of 5]

Addiction is so pervasive, everyone will at least encounter an addict recovering or otherwise in their lives. This book is one step in understanding the nature of addiction, dealing with an addict and things you can do to aid or hinder recovery.

One of those topics that everyone should read up on to understand the human condition and be educated about those around us.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

There were many points that were made to help me through this process. It’s a road that is very hard to travel and to understand. Having a book to help on the subject is very helpful. I can see myself going back and re reading some underlined parts that I first made while reading.

[Ariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Expand understanding of addiction trauma and how to navigate issues amongst family and friends. Illuminating and helpful.

[Leanna Firestone · Rating 5 out of 5]

as someone who currently has a family member in active addiction, this book was so validating. drugs can be so hard to talk about even if you don't personally know someone who struggles with them, but reading this gave me an opportunity to not only better understand my loved one, but also give a real voice to my own hurting because of their addiction. thank you beverly conyers.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute must read for any family suffering with addiction or the counselors working with them. Amazing read.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very quick and to the point read. With great advice.

[DIANE M NEEDLEMAN · Rating 4 out of 5]

A path

Forgiving yourself that there is nothing you can do for the addict in
was enlightening to me. But how to back away was confusing. Except to disengage completely.

[Jodell · Rating 3 out of 5]

My father was an alcoholic, so he was not a dad. He died on the streets of Denver.
My brother was an alcoholic, so he was not a brother, he was not a father to his kids. He died on the streets of Loveland.
My nephew is an alcoholic although he never grew up with his father, he grew up with me.
Addicts don't have relationship's they take hostages.
This is why I will never drink, do a drug, or participate in any kind of activity that promotes it.

[Melinda Willford · Rating 5 out of 5]

A MUST read for families who love addicts!

Reading this book made me feel like I’m not crazy nor abnormal for the way I handled the addict(s) in my family. There are lots of stories and helpful ways of setting boundaries to keep yourself sane. Great book!