How Do We Relationship?, Vol. 4

How Do We Relationship? #4

by Tamifull

Shy Miwa has always dreamed of finding love, but living in small-town Japan made finding the right match difficult—especially since she likes girls! Even going away to college didn’t seem to help, until one day her outgoing classmate Saeko suggests they might as well start dating each other since it’s not like either of them has other options.

It’s getting harder for Miwa and Saeko to ignore the tensions in their relationship as even their sex life starts to suffer. Saeko begins to feel like Miwa doesn’t really see her while Miwa finds herself dwelling more and more on the past. They don’t want to give up on each other, but what do you do when a relationship starts to sour?

Genres: Manga, Romance, LGBT, Yuri, Queer, Graphic Novels, Lesbian

216 pages, Paperback

First published April 10, 2020

Reviews

[elena · Rating 2 out of 5]

This entire series is about miscommunication in a half assed relationship and I’m so sick of it but I’m here to stay because I hope they break up and grow as individuals and find platonic love. We’re four volumes in and they are still they same people they were form the beginning..y’all.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

[This review will contain spoilers - I hate Goodreads’ ‘all or nothing’ spoiler system so I will flag the appropriate sections.]

Whoops.

I think that sums it up pretty well, but the vibe of this book feels like an unfolding accident as it goes on and we’re going to some places most manga never do, so buckle up.

This series does characterization much better than I gave it credit for and everything that happens here feels very appropriate, even as it reveals new facets to our dear pair. They have never felt like they were doing something totally against type or untrue to themselves and that’s very important in a story like this.

There is a moment here where Saeko’s facade absolutely and completely drops and it’s really something remarkable. Saeko is not a perfect human being, but she is all the better for it and this moment nails it because it finally tells what has been secretly (and obviously) showing on her the whole time.

Miwa, of course, is still thrown for a loop from the class reunion and the choices presented (and made) there. Her guilt and Miwa’s jealousy are just simmering along in the background as she agonizes over the past. Being mired in it, you might say.

As we realize that real talk is not happening for these two, despite their best efforts, things seem more and more dire - even as Miwa drags Saeko out late because she needs to secretly reaffirm something and they share some truly sweet moments together.

[Okay, everybody, it’s spoiler time.]

[Seriously]

Which in no way leavens the impact when they break up. Yeah, that happens and may have been the plan all along and it is… very sad, but not loud. The girls remain friends, shockingly, but spend more time together than they have in ages.

I mean, this is not surprising by this point as neither of them has spent much time together or dealt with anything until it is way, way too late. Still, it is an interesting path to walk and we’ll see just how long it lasts.

Saeko’s work friend gets almost as much time with her as Miwa does, honestly, and Saeko is at least perceptive enough to know that her bottling up and brushing things off as no big deal has helped cause this.

Not to say that Miwa isn’t to blame either - while she doesn’t have the revelation that Saeko does, she repeatedly says that she loves Saeko because nobody else could care about her. Not only is that not actual love, it’s a very shifty foundation for a relationship. No surprise, then, that it moves the way it does.

And in smartly seeding the “rivals” last time we actually turn them into very valid options for dating rather than plot devices. Shiho and Miwa seem good together and while Saeko and her coworker are slightly less matched, Saeko has at least been honest with her (well and also the jerk from previous volumes, where she really lets it all hang out).

I mean, so few manga depict actual breakups and in yuri? Forget it. So it’s interesting to see a couple suddenly not being a couple and all the fallout from that. It is so interesting just because of the novelty, but mixed in with these characters and it’s a cut above that.

Now, there is a brief flash forward that implies either a reconciliation down the line or some serious hook-ups and it’ll be interesting to see how it gets to that scene. I still think these two can work, but they definitely need to grow into themselves a bit more.

[End heap of spoilering]

The side cast of the series is also really good, a fun mix of guys and gals goofing around like young people in college. It definitely makes the series feel more alive, even if that one person is a real pain in the ass. You’ll know who.

And as much as I love the characterization, I don’t know that I love the writing that much at times. It does nail the important stuff, but I can never quite shake the feeling that everything should read a touch better than it does.

4 stars - a very good series that is now doing something truly unique and I am not going to be sad about either outcome and will be right here waiting to see it. It’s nice to see a story at least trying to be different.

[Rod Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Less comedy and more drama this time as an encounter with her high school crush has unexpected ramifications on Miwa's relationship with Saeko. Definitely coming back for the next volume.

[Anna Quilter · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a frustrating but compelling series.
About five months into their relationship...things start to fall apart.
Lots of secrets..things unsaid...it's all very sorting out why.

[Ulyera · Rating 2 out of 5]

Saeko, Miwa is not the problem in this relationship omfg. Like pick yourself up. Evaluate yourself. YOU LITERALLY ADMITTED THAT YOU ONLY LIKE HER BECAUSE SHE'S CUTE. Cut it out with that "I just want to be loved" bull crap because you do not give a singular, flying fuck about Miwa. BFFR. Be Fucking For Real.
Miwa deserves better. I hope she gets with her high school crush, I'm really not tryna root for the Saeko/Miwa ship.

(Me everytime Saeko opens up that manipulative mouth of hers)...

[Bookishrealm · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is probably one of the most frustrating series that I've ever read, yet for some reason I want to continue. How Do We Relationship? isn't as pleasant as the covers make them out to be. While there isn't much that I can address in terms of plot, I can say that the relationship between the two main characters (Miwa and Saeko) doesn't necessarily get better. In fact, I would say that it gets worse, extremely worse. While this series doesn't explicit state it, I'm going to make a note that I personally feel as though the relationship is abusive. Readers will spend a great portion of it wishing for the two to break up and move on, but it is clear from the conclusion of this one that we won't get the resolution we seek so easily. I'm going to continue reading until I can't anymore. I understand that Tamifull may be attempting to illustrate complex relationships in a realistic way; however, it's definitely a mess installment in the series.

[jo ♡.* · Rating 2 out of 5]

saeko girl i cant keep on defending u...

[Alex Richey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has got to be the most unconventional "romance" manga I've ever read. It breaks all the rules and tropes and it's so refreshing.

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am so glad they broke up. I hope they stay broken up. It don’t matter to me tho bc I need to stop reading this series. I’m sorry Ellie but I hate it.

[nelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this manga so much. The portrayal of the feelings, miscommunication and insecurities of both girls with themselves and with the other are so realistic. The things they're insecure about and the things that make the suffer, for me specially Saeko's, are so relatable. And although I'm sad for them I really love reading stories that hit this hard on the feels.

[Izzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 frustrated by where we are in the series. I wanted more growth from the characters we shall see how vol 5 is.

[Maja · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did end up crying bye this is so embarrassing of me

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

In diesem Band ging es echt drüber und drunter. Weder Miwa noch Saeko verhalten sich perfekt, beide verstecken ihre Gefühle und Gedanken, was zu keinem guten Ende für die beiden führt. Saeko tut mir auch irgendwie leid, wenn sie sich so fühlt, und auch ich finde, Miwas Gefühle ihr gegenüber waren nicht sonderlich romantisch sondern eher … aus Dankbarkeit? Oder weil es endlich jemanden gab, der sie mag? Weiß nicht, wie ich das beschreiben soll, aber auf jeden Fall kein guter Grund, eine Beziehung anzufangen. Andererseits, auch wenn die Kommunikation von beiden Seiten wirklich gefehlt hat, haben die beiden trotz ihrer Unterschiede doch gut zueinander gepasst. Sie legen sich aber ins Zeug, dass die anderen um sie herum nicht mit reingezogen werden, was ich gut finde. Wie das nun weitergeht, wenn Miwa wirklich einen Schritt auf Shiho zugeht, Saeko ihr aber vielleicht doch heimlich hinterher trauert, weiß ihc echt nicht. Ich mag, wie realistisch die Reihe mit den Problemen und Entwicklungen der Figuren und Beziehungen ist, und auch einfach mal zeigt, dass nicht alles vorherbestimmt und perfekt läuft. Gleichzeitig, egal wie gut ich die Reihe finde, werde ich mich mit keiner der beiden Protagonistinnen richtig warm, wodurch mir der direkte Bezug etwas fehlt. Werde die Reihe aber weiterverfolgen.

[india :) · Rating 3 out of 5]

saeko is such a complex character its hard to understand her sometimes but in a realistic human way. the secrecy from both parties is something that happens in every relationship. Miwa might not even be feeling anything real towards Shiho but because she used to and maybe those feelings weren't completely resolved, she doesn't understand her feelings now. She could still be hanging on to that thread since there was no true ending. That can most def fester and by keeping it inside, she internalizes these feelings. I like this series so much because as the author says, she really strives to show all of the nuances of a relationship. Also being friends immediately after the breakup, so lesbian fr. I wonder if Saeko and Yasa are actually dating or if it was just a misleading cliffhanger. I hope Miwa goes out with Shiho and realizes that it isn't want she wants, I think that would be helpful.

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a solid entry in the series that shows the two protagonists navigate their relationship in ways that seem authentic based on the proceedings thus far. Neither has been adept at communication up to this point, and thus there are no easy solutions to the challenges they face here. The supporting characters are all nicely sketched as well and give the overall story a good feel for friendship groups in college life.

[b (tobias forge's version) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This series took a big turn in the third volume, and that tone continues into the fourth. It’s well-written and well-drawn, but very different from what I was expecting and a much heavier reading experience than the covers would have you believe. I respect the artist’s intent as laid out in the last little strip, but damn…

[Sucre · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
unsure how to feel about this installment - I don't mind the big thing that happened but I do feel like there was too much focus on outside relationships and events so it ultimately fell a little flat... the main relationship is still very realistic but I'm getting tired of all the extraneous slice-of-life college stuff

[julian tan · Rating 3 out of 5]

finally they break up 🙌🙌🙌

[JiaJia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s still good but this is so terrible 😭😭😭😭😭

[ad · Rating 4 out of 5]

shaking saeko like a badly behaved cat

[kylee walt · Rating 3 out of 5]

me when they and then they and when they do and then 🤯

[leti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jodo

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saeko is awful. Really surprised by the turn this volume took, but it also has me super curious about where the series is going. I love the idea of a manga chronicling not just what happens when you get together, but also the breakup and beyond. Will definitely pick up the next one!

[Ayxan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Even though I was rooting for them to break up, the way Saeko broke up was just... f*ck you. I hope they never get back together. And i hope karma gets back to her quickly.

And then Saeko says she just wants to be loved?? 😀😀😀😀
Is this some joke I don’t get?
Gurl can’t even love others, how the hell would she even deserve to be loved???😒

And then they get back to being friends so quickly... bruh!! If romance with them is toxic, so will the friendship be! Get out, Miwa, as long as you can 😩

[Bentgaidin · Rating 5 out of 5]

'How Do We Relationship?' vol 4 is sad as Miwa and Saeko fall apart, but this is the trajectory they've been on for a while with their inability to find a good balance of communication in their relationship. It's not the end of the story, though, as they're still in the same circle of friends and hanging out together, and breaking up hasn't made things any less complicated for them. I like how honestly the manga has dealt with everything, and I'll be looking forward to where it goes from here.

[Jake · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this series, I love the characters, the flow, and the realness of it.

This volume takes a pivot, one I was expecting, but still hoping wouldn't happen. I am really curious to see where the series goes, but I like the characters so much that I'll be along for the ride no matter what.

[Aoibhe Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my first time ever writing a review like this, and I'm pretty emotional right now so please forgive me if I am random.

I've just finished reading from volume one through volume four. I've been crying now for hours.

The characters are so well written, they're human, their flaws are there for all to see, the naiveté and quick forgiveness of other Yuri isn't there. I could relate to almost all the characters in one way or another. From early on there was such a good balance of humour, cute moments, sexy moments, discovery, growth. This is definitely a story you can get invested in.

But, volume 4 broke me. Volume four is where I realised just how drawn in I had become. I could feel the souring, I could see the dark clouds looming on the horizon but I had to keep reading. A bit of a relevant personal detail here, but I'm trans and have just started transitioning; one of the changes we experience is that our emotional capacity sort of unlocks. With volume 4, Tamifull hit every single repressed emotion I've had in my life, every heartbreak, every fear as a relationship soured, every pang of jealousy and anger that someone could ever move on. I've been rolling back and forth between cursing them for making me feel this and absolute wonder at how well it was written.

I needed to write this review.

I have a terrible feeling I know where Volume 5 will go, and it mirrors my relationship right now far too closely. So, Tamifull, I hate you, but I love you, please don't change, and please see this wonderful, terrible story on through it's end. You've brought it to life amazingly well.

[Marisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

They’re relationship didn’t start off good. They only started dating because they’re the only lesbians they know. Also Shiho looks a lot like Miwa’s crush, so maybe Miwa was thinking she’s like a dateable version of her crush.
I think miwa was overreacting. She didn’t do anything wrong. She and Shiho have only been going out for a month, they’re not in love in such a short period of time, so her feeling nostalgic for her old crush when she sees her is fine. She had a crush on her for a lot longer and that feeling just doesn’t go away quickly. She’s only been dating shiho for a month. She said no to going to a hotel with her crush, even though nothing would of happened, I think her crush is straight. Shiho getting so jealous doesn’t seem good. Also why is so upset they have haven’t said I love you to each other yet? It’s to early in the relationship to do so. Hopefully in later volumes it’ll explain why Shiho only wants to give pleasure and not receive it. I’ve never a character like her that does that. They were kind of like friends with benefit, they had sex before they fell in love. As always I love miwa’s entire style, I just want her wardrobe for my own.

[Tony · Rating 3 out of 5]

Zusammenfassung:
Miwa lehnt das Angebot von ihrem Crush ab, aber erzählt Sae nicht die volle Wahrheit darüber, was auf dem Klassentreffen passiert ist. Die beiden gehen sich aus dem Weg und sprechen nicht miteinander über ihre Gefühle, auf dem Schulfest geraten sie in einen kleinen Streit darüber. Als sie endlich ehrlich miteinander sein wollten, hat Sae gezögert und ist (wie immer) sehr humorvoll mit ihren eigenen Gefühlen umgegangen und war dennoch nicht 100% ehrlich, während Miwa ihr alles gesagt hat. Beide haben das erste mal „Ich liebe dich“ zueinander gesagt. Sae bedrückt es, dass Miwa an eine andere denkt. Ihre einzige Reaktion darauf ist, so zu tun als wäre nichts um ihre Beziehung zu schützen. Sae macht Schluss mit Miwa, sie hat sich von Miwa nicht geliebt gefühlt und konnte sich nicht fallen lassen. Sae und Yuria (eine Kollegin) sind ziemlich gute Freunde geworden und verbringen viel Zeit miteinander. Sae‘s Freunde gehen davon aus, dass sie in einer Beziehung sind. Der Band endet damit, dass Yuria zugibt eine Freundin zu haben, noch wurde nicht gesagt wer.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things finally come to a dramatic conclusion as Saeko and Miwa must deal with the actual emotional work of a relationship and they realise that things aren't all they seem to be. Yuri manga rarely see these sort of realistic and often heavy emotional conversations. The realisation that their relationship is unbalanced leads to Saeko and Miwa breaking up and there is no levity or frivolity - it is heartfelt and emotional conversation that alters the direction of the story and casts a lot of the previous volumes' emotional challenges in a new light.

Tamifull's art and writing remain enjoyable and the supporting cast of characters are good fun, being all kinds of college students who help populate the world and make everything seem more realistic. This is one thing I particularly like about this series so far: everything feels grounded in reality and the characters feel like real people.