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Per My Last Email: Witty, Wicked, and Wonderfully Weird Workplace Words and Phrases

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Tired of phrases like “circle back,” “follow up,” or the dreaded “let’s take this offline”? This hilarious guide will reinvigorate your vocabulary with direct and delightful alternatives to stale corporate speak.

Offices are a breeding ground for odd expressions and hackneyed platitudes. Why are we peeling onions and putting irons in the fire? Why is our plate always full? And most importantly, how is it even possible to give 110%? Per My Last Email  provides you with fresh new words to sprinkle throughout your workday and lift you out of your office-speak rut while making you laugh at the same time. With unexpected and entertaining phrases to boost the productivity of your meetings, revitalize your email game, and even the occasional office-appropriate swear, this book is a fun and informative send-up of stale corporate lingo that will help you freshen up your own workplace communication.
 

128 pages, Paperback

Published October 5, 2021

32 people are currently reading
176 people want to read

About the author

Stephanie K. Wright

1 book4 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
Profile Image for Barbara.
1,780 reviews5,302 followers
October 12, 2021


Are you tired of using the same old words week after week? Do you want to put some verve in your vocabulary? Are you itching to improve your emails? Then this is the book for you.

Stephanie Wright scoured dictionaries, dusty books, and hieroglyphic manuscripts (just kidding) to come up with this collection of alternative ways to express yourself. And in case you're wondering, the author asserts, "Any relation to words created from a secret language you made up as a kid is purely coincidental."

The book is aimed at corporate employees, but most folks could find uses for the innovative words and expressions. To provide a feel for the book I'll provide an aperçu (brief glimpse).

*****

Want to call a meeting. You can say:

We are pulling together a boodle (crowd) to discuss the next office party.
It is time to constellate (form a group) to choose the new corporate logo.



*****

Want to have a productive meeting? You can say:

This is a short meeting. Blatherskiting (talking at great length) will not be tolerated.
Please keep your comments brief to avoid the overwhelming abulomania (indecisiveness) surrounding the topic.



*****

Are you befuddled? You can say:

It seems there is a gallimaufry (confusing group) of choices for the new hire.
If the goal of that question was to metagrobolize (mystify) the team, it worked.



*****

Need a fresh greeting? You can say:

What's kicking, chickens?
How farest though?



*****

Having a rough day? You can say:

My whole family has the flu. I am utterly chapfallen (cast down in spirit).
I'm feeling querulous (in a bad mood), so I suggest you leave me alone.



*****

Do you have a lot going on? You can say:

With the release happening in three days, the entire team is full on negotious (very busy) right now.
I have a hundred things to do. I am completely snowed under (crushed with work) today.



*****

Are people annoying you? You can say:

Please don't put Beau on my team. I already have to work with two lurdans (incompetent persons).
Kravitz is the ultimate quidnunc (gossipy person). I wonder what he's saying about me.



*****

Want to blow off steam? You can say:

Zooterkins! (all purpose swear word). What did you just do to the copier?
Whoever left the paper tray empty again is a total jackwagon (worthless person).



*****

Hoping to hear from someone soon? You can say:

Methodically binge-eating candy while I await your reply.
Going to check out the latest Twitter drama while you consider my proposal.



*****

Want to shush someone? You can say:

Oh my freakin' stars! Can we just cut the cackle (stop talking nonsense) and get on with the meeting.
Please save it (stop talking) Fran! We've already heard about all the followers you have on Instagram.



*****

Feeling particularly nasty? You can say:

Stan, you've accomplished exactly nothing. I have never before met a scobberlotcher (lazy human) of your caliber.
I was having fun until our resident smellfungus (killjoy) showed up to kill the mood.



*****

Want to give someone a compliment? You can say:

Jane is a bosting (excellent) coder. She can finish a project in two days.
Sam's spiffing (splendid) commercial was perfect for the plush toy launch.



*****

Want to quit? You can say:

I've decided to demit (resign a job) my position as project manager to go to cosmetology school.
I have made the decision to scarper (leave a place) and head to San Francisco to open a bakery.



*****

There are TONS more words, expressions, and suggestions for effective (but fun) emails in the book. And there's an Index at the back for convenience. I'd recommend the book to people who want to gussy up their verbiage or just have a laugh.

Thanks to Netgalley, Stephanie K. Wright, and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of the book.

You can follow my reviews at https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com
Profile Image for Rosh.
2,398 reviews5,002 followers
September 10, 2021
This is an uproarious lexicon for logophiles interested in ceremonious verbiage for humdrum bureaucratic usage in lieu of pedestrian phraseology.

Got that? No? You need this book. :D

The introduction informs us that there are two hundred and seventy three thousand words in the English language (!!!!) and yet we seem to be using a restricted set of words over and over again. The purpose of the book is to provide some rather verbose (and entertaining) alternatives to our otherwise banal office lingo. The book is hilarious, beginning right from the disclaimer that elaborates with gusto on how “no words were harmed in the process of making this book’.

As the cover page promises us, the book contains witty, wicked, and wonderfully weird workplace words and phrases. The topics cover a motley list of topics related not just to official conversations but also comparatively ignored utterances such as email signoffs, morning greetings, and auto replies. It includes even the latest vocabulary requirements pertaining to getting muted or frozen during online meetings. Every word is accompanied by its meaning and an example of its usage. In all, the book contains more than 400 words and phrases, so it is obviously not a ‘read in one go’ book, especially if you intend to implement whatever you have learnt.

How practical is this book? After all, knowing words isn’t enough. The listener also needs to understand what you are saying, especially in spoken conversation where there is no access to a dictionary. Well… Quite a few of the included words are very practical and can definitely be incorporated easily in your formal parlance. Be aware of the meanings though because some words included herein might cause you to lose your job.  Some words such as stupendous and inundated are fairly common and easily understandable. Some words such as ninnyhammer or beneficent are uncommon but guessable. So even they are fine. However, words such as aprosexia or negotious sound like one thing but mean something else entirely. Use these at your own risk, unless you are conversing with another purchaser of this book.

I just wish the book came with some illustrations. As a humour book, funny sketches would have added to the appeal of the words and would also have provided even more comic relief. Plus, sketches work as a useful visual aid to seal the word further in the memory. In its current format, it appears to be a plain dictionary. The content isn’t boring, it looks like it is!

Overall, this was an entertaining and enlightening read. Word aficionados will certainly relish this book. And if you aren’t blessed with an extensive vocabulary, you could check this book out to impress your superiors at the office. Don’t go by its prosaic appearance. The book is quite handy.

Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.



***********************
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Profile Image for Kirsty.
424 reviews90 followers
August 11, 2021
Special thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review

Salutations, fellow reader bees,

I absolutely love this cute, informative, extremely helpful source for my work related interactions.

Upon reading this, I immediately updated my auto-reply email for when I'm out of office and changed my generic signature at the bottom of every email.

I love it so much. Apart from just sprucing up my work vocabulary and learning some cool old/new words, I also laughed quite a bit.

The only thing that could have made this better is a pronunciation guide to some (if not all) of the words. Some are obvious, but it might be challenging to pronounce a few. I'll have to look some up before using them confidently in the office.

You're the bee's knees,
Kirsty
Profile Image for Stefan Bogdanski.
Author 11 books10 followers
August 12, 2021
Words. They are everywhere, and for almost anything you want to express, there are multitudes of ways to enunciate what you want to say. We just don't use them.

Anyone remembers Eliza? That chat program that almost passed the Turing Test and which sounded like a psychoanalyst? Well, to survive in modern day offices, Eliza would only need half her brain (and vocabulary), because we all tend to use the same phrases over and over again. We're all walking in trodden paths in the office.

Lucky for us, Stephanie Wright is there to help us out. She lays open those well worn phrases, and offers us mesmerizing alternatives, so we can all be having a meaningful congregation instead of another mind-boggingly boring meeting.

Equipped with this knowledge, you'll never be in an abulomania over which words to use again!

All in all, this is a splendiferous dictionary of selcouth words. You might enjoy it if language is your thing! A point of criticism for me of that this is rather short, and I would have loved more examples. Maybe even a whole meeting - pardon: congregation - script using examples from this book.
Profile Image for Ancillar.
669 reviews59 followers
September 9, 2021
Oh man, this book was such a delight and a breath of fresh air. If you have ever used the phrase as ‘per my last email,’ you are gonna want to read this book

Per my last email is a fun and quirky guidebook filled with alternative phrases and words to make you the best communicator at work.

This book was a fun and easy read and totally tailored for every type of worker. It has vocabulary for greeting and for resigning as well ..It was hard not to laugh because it's just so witty

A huge thanks to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for providing my review copy.
Profile Image for Kasey.
284 reviews8 followers
August 11, 2021
Greetings from the overworked!

As someone guilty of using the phrase ‘per my last email,’ I was naturally drawn to this book.

Per my last email is a fun and quirky guide which provides alternative phrases and words to spruce up your commonly used corporate terminology (i.e., “let’s circle back,” “follow up,” or my personal favorite, “you’re on mute.”)

This book was a fun and easy read to help you broaden your corporate vocabulary. There’s something for everyone to enjoy, from unique swear words, office greetings, and how to resign with panache. I learned more than a few words reading this.

I can see this book coming in handy for sales reps/ customer service professionals who are always looking for unique and catchy opening sentences to cold emails.

At times I found myself laughing audibly—especially while reading the ‘Fun with Autoreply’ section. This was my favorite section. I need to make a mental note to use some of these phrases in my next out-of-office message!

Taking a page from this book, I’ll end this review by saying, Toodles!

Many thanks to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for providing my review copy.
Profile Image for Ramona Mead.
1,600 reviews32 followers
October 13, 2021
If you're tried of using the same words and phrases all the time, you need this book! It gives scenarios and then lists options other than the boring most commonly used phrases. Each word has a definition and a sentence showing how it's used. The tone is casual and funny, this isn't a serious language book.
Profile Image for KKEC Reads.
1,073 reviews70 followers
October 5, 2021
Per My Last Email by Stephanie K. Wright
Published: October 5, 2021
Andrews McMeel Publishing
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.

Stephanie K. Wright has spent her life spellbound by words. She lives in Seattle with her effervescent pitbull, Hedy, and her charming grimalkins, Hubble and Atwood.

“It’s time to sparkle like the shiny ball of clever that you are.”

This is such a fun, easy read, filled with so many dazzling new expressions! If you are looking for a way to add some pizzazz to your work emails, daily correspondence, and just a delightful book- look no further.

Stephanie Wright has found a way to add a jovial balance to the everyday humdrum of cubicle life. This was a quick read, but it is so charmingly written and has some excellent vocabulary.

I enjoyed the definition and examples provided. I cannot wait to inject some of these phrases into my work life! Stupendously original, fast-paced, and fun, this is an excellent source of fresh information.

I was engaged from the first page and found the anecdotes delightful. I am excited to refer this little gem to my bookish besties!
Profile Image for Joli.
444 reviews168 followers
November 17, 2021
"Per My Last Email" - who doesn't want to fire off emails on a daily basis beginning with this intro? I know I have and that's what drew me to this book. I knew that this book would give me some good laughs.

My favorite section is "About those Emails" with sections titled
GREETINGS!, GOODBYES, LOOKING FORWARD, and the absolute best FUN WITH AUTOREPLY. It's full of hilarious response prompts and templates.

Per My Last Email would be a fun book to give to friends who like to poke fun at their office culture and need a break from the same-old, same-old office talk.

It's for anyone who ever worked in a cubicle. It's for anyone whose email in-box is never empty and is tempted to "Select All, then Delete".
Profile Image for Kate.
200 reviews11 followers
October 5, 2021
This newfangled attempt to zhuzh up the office lingo, especially for emails, is incredible.
Stephanie is a workplace improvement prepotent!
Reading "Per My Last Email" was so entertaining. Needing some new ways to say...well, anything? It's in this little yellow wonder.
Learn to say no in new ways...and in general. Learn to compliment, back-sass, back-talk, and encourage your team. Learn about 400 new words you can use in your daily, but specifically your email-y life. It'll make responding to those often times 100s of emails a week much more entertaining for you. I don't know about y'all, but the more entertained I am the better endurance I have. I will be so entertained responding to emails now that I will get through them all. Or at least all of the ones I deem worthy of a response.

Thanks to NetGalley for my ARC - I loved this!
31 reviews
October 6, 2021
A humorous thesaurus for work related topics. A few of my favorites were ultracrepidarian, crapulous, and wabbit.

There were some suggested away from office message suggestions I would love to use. However I would also like to keep my job so I must sadly keep my old generic away message.
Profile Image for Meghann.
646 reviews
November 17, 2022
Good friend sent me this one knowing my love for vocabulary. Definitely learned some new words and phrases and plan to use as desk reference at work when I need inspiration in communication.
Profile Image for Sinead.
90 reviews2 followers
August 16, 2021
Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book. This is right up up my street as I love learning new words and the workplace can be a particularly dreary place on the language front. Looking forward to throwing some new words and phrasing out, if for no other reason than to watch colleague’s confusion! A very entertaining read which I devoured in one evening!
Profile Image for Maura White.
4 reviews
November 2, 2021
This book is an easy and delightful read filled with the intention to revitalize communications in the workplace. The author provides options to combat tired phrases and situations — hello Zoom— as well as opens the door to places we can have more fun, such a auto replies and calling in sick.

A great gift for a boss, coworker, client or friend who needs some fresh air blown into those work lungs.

Pick it up, keep it near your desk, and add delight to your days and the days of the people you communicate with regularly.
Profile Image for Ashlyn.
332 reviews2 followers
September 11, 2021
I don't want to be taciturn (say little ) with this review so I am going to try to use some if the words from the book. Now, you will have no clue what I'm saying unless you actually read this book. Some of you that read this review will feel shambolic (confused) throughout this and that's okay. I myself at first was befuddled (utterly confused). During the reading of this book I began feeling agog (excited or ready to go) with the thought of trying out some of these words with friends and coworkers. That's exactly what this book is, a dictionary. I found it satisfying and stimulating. What was astounding to me is how many of these words I myself already used which turned out to be quite a few. Hopefully nobody becomes narked (annoyed) while reading this review because that is not the goal. In this book there were parts I did skip because I felt it didn't pertain to me specifically. Some of the phrases seemed overdrawn out and too long in my humble opinion. I do however, find this to be helpful more so to those in an office setting or big business job. With that being stated I don't feel this is a book intended to be read cover to cover, but a book to pick up when you want to sound or seem intelligent to your friends colleagues or family members. There was however one word that really stuck out to me over the rest. Collywobbles (stomach pain, intense anxiety, or nervousness. This is more leaning towards a self help book.
Profile Image for Annarella.
14.2k reviews167 followers
September 1, 2021
This book is a lot of fun but it's also an informative guide to using new language in our business communications.
I fell in love with the different out of office, could be using one of them.
Funny and brilliant, highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine
Profile Image for Bekah Porter-Sandy.
256 reviews25 followers
August 20, 2021
Delightful. Informative. Funny. Breezy. Charming. — These words aren't necessarily clever, but they are accurate as heck about this adorable book.
Great gift option. Lovely to leave out on your coffee table to spark conversation. Handy work desk thesaurus.
Looking forward to seeing more from this author.
Profile Image for Leighton.
1,058 reviews12 followers
September 1, 2021
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Per My Last Email by Stephanie K. Wright is a short, 130-page handbook to workplace vocabulary that will have you in stitches laughing. I wasn't initially sure what this book was. A dictionary? A guidebook? A memoir? It turns out that this book is all three. I knew that I needed to read this book when I saw this sentence in the synopsis: "Tired of phrases like “circle back,” “follow up,” or the dreaded “let’s take this offline”? This hilarious guide will reinvigorate your vocabulary with direct and delightful alternatives to stale corporate speak." Who hasn't heard those phrases before?

Here is an excerpt from a section titled A Brave New World:

"I was on mute: Navigating the world of video conferencing
Who knew you'd be spending your workdays on video conferences? Reminding people to mute or unmute themselves? Or being concerned over whether or not your picture is going to freeze? Welcome to the world of artless overstepping, unexpected dog barking, quizzical internet issues, and diverting toddler interruptions."

As you can see from the excerpt above, the author is extremely funny, and this book is seriously entertaining. Not only does the book include words and phrases pre-pandemic times, it also includes specific phrases that have only recently developed in 2020 and 2021. One highlight of this book is the chapter on phrases that we should use while working from home. Instead of saying "You're frozen," the author drums up a list of nearly a dozen alternative words, some of which I had never heard of before. It's satirical and meant to be a joke, but I can't help wondering how much fun work would be if we actually adopted these phrases. If you're intrigued by the excerpt above, or if you're a fan of books in the humor genre, I highly recommend that you check out this book when it comes out in October!
1,061 reviews39 followers
September 11, 2021

Thanks to Andrews McMeal for the advanced copy of this title in return for an honest review.

On my most recent job as part of a marking team, we started a whiteboard full of words and phrases that irritated us - this got longer and more pedantic with each passing day, and there’s many in this book, with fabulous alternatives. “Per my last email” is one of my biggest pet peeves and yet, I use it often as it’s so passively aggressive I love it.

It’s not too heavy a book, and you can flick through it, picking and choosing the topics you want to read. It’s not masses of prose; each page has a list of amusing examples for you to use these new fandangled (excellent word choice) words.

I know a few people who would love to have this on their bedside table. I am determined to get some of the more obscure words into everyday vernacular, probably confusing everyone in the process. But I would feel superior in every way - like a walking thesaurus.
Profile Image for Patricia Bello.
1,141 reviews2 followers
October 12, 2021
Oh this was such fun to read. Especially when taking a break in the middle of the work day. With everything online now - meetings and memos and all, using the same words over and over again can get boring. This book is chock full of words to use instead of the usual words like meeting, productive, resign, discussion, take it offline… hahaha. Even out of office auto replies can be jazzed up with the suggestions here.

Though of course, if you work a more conservative industry like me, they’d be just fun to read and not apply. Some companies do not have a sense of humor.

Though I was really tempted to use some of the words here.

Thank you Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley Really enjoyed this one a lot.
Profile Image for Kriti | Armed with A Book.
524 reviews244 followers
August 30, 2021
Whether you work from home or from the office, this book has lots of fun and quirky alternatives to everyday office-talk. I liked the small sections and the numerous examples. I wish my GRE Verbal exam textbooks had been so much fun to read. I would be careful though before using any of the examples and sample texts because it's all contextual to your workspace but if you are on good terms with most people you interact with and they have a sense of humour, this has brilliant ideas to spice up the old.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for a complimentary review copy for an honest review. I enjoyed this quick read.
Profile Image for Sam.
505 reviews15 followers
October 28, 2021
This is the book I've picked up when I've had small blocks of time to read but not enough to commit into getting into a book.
And every time I found myself giggling over it.
Stephanie K. Wright is a person after my own heart, the words they have chosen to use and her way of using them in sentences is something that constantly cracked me up.

I will say that this is going to be my number 1 gift to people this holiday season, just because it brought me so much joy and in the era of working from home more then a few of my friends would enjoy new words for telling their coworkers to stop eating unmuted.
147 reviews
August 11, 2021
Written with light humor and organized by work-related topics. The book is part average dictionary and part slang guide which is useful whether you are a younger or older employee and maybe helpful for those in other cultural situations. For example, an American may find some words that may be more common in the UK and vice versa. Index of words are listed at the end of the book to aid quick lookup.

Note: I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
1,018 reviews13 followers
September 22, 2021
Thank you to the author, Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley, for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This short, very funny book is exactly the snarky passive-agressive thesaurus I didn't know I needed to cope with workspeak. Not that my employer would allow use of e.g. the out of office texts, but a woman can dream. I did expect a bit more anecdotal humor rather than just a straight-up reference text.
18 reviews
November 20, 2021
This is a very funny and imaginative book. It will make you laugh, but is also filled with fun words and phrases you can actually use.

Take a stand against sloppy acronyms and sports terminology in your next board meeting or Zoom meeting. You’ll be received with awe. And this book … well, it can be your little secret. It can be read cover to cover or used as a manual.

A really great Holiday gift idea.
Profile Image for Laura Duffy.
484 reviews3 followers
August 14, 2021
This is a comic but also useful look at some of the curious idioms we use in our office communications. What better to do when returning to the office than 'turn over a new leaf' in your professional vocabulary? Filled with much slicker but sometimes also funnier alternatives to some of the overused office phrases. This is the perfect gift for your office bestie or secret Santa.
Profile Image for Dora Okeyo.
Author 25 books202 followers
August 22, 2021
As someone who communicates mostly via email, I fully endorse the widespread reading of this book because #hilariousfacts.
It's filled with vocabulary that while new to me, I could completely relate to and it's such a fun quirky, witty and useful book to read about how we communicate.
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.
Profile Image for Dirty Dayna.
2,155 reviews109 followers
September 1, 2021
I am going to guess I am just not the audience for this book. I got this book in hopes I would laugh and have new ways to say.. per my last email and other jabs like that. This would be a good book for someone who hasn't spent the last 15 years working with email, cubicles or the normal secretarial positions.
Profile Image for Joni Owens.
1,529 reviews10 followers
October 4, 2021
Tired of using the same verbiage to get your point across? Look no further! This book will help you add a lot of panache to telling that lazy coworker to pick up the pace. Or my favorite spice up your out of the office message.

Hilarious and extremely useful. This would be the perfect gift for a coworker or as a white elephant Christmas gift!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews

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