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Numb to This: Memoir of a Mass Shooting
This searing graphic memoir portrays gun violence through a fresh lens, giving it urgency, humanity, and a very personal hope
Kindra Neely never expected it to happen to her. No one does. Sure, she’d sometimes been close to gun violence, like when the house down the street from her childhood home in Texas was targeted in a drive-by shooting. But now she lived in Oregon, where she spent her time swimming in rivers with friends or attending classes at the bucolic Umpqua Community College.
And then, one day, it happend: a mass shooting shattered her college campus. Over the span of a few minutes, on October 1, 2015, eight students and a professor lost their lives. And suddenly, Kindra became a survivor. This empathetic and ultimately hopeful graphic memoir recounts Kindra’s journey forward from those few minutes that changed everything.
It wasn’t easy. Every time Kindra took a step toward peace and wholeness, a new mass shooting devastated her again. Las Vegas. Parkland. She was hopeless at times, feeling as if no one was listening. Not even at the worldwide demonstration March for Our Lives. But finally, Kindra learned that—for her—the path toward hope wound through art, helping others, and sharing her story.
Kindra Neely never expected it to happen to her. No one does. Sure, she’d sometimes been close to gun violence, like when the house down the street from her childhood home in Texas was targeted in a drive-by shooting. But now she lived in Oregon, where she spent her time swimming in rivers with friends or attending classes at the bucolic Umpqua Community College.
And then, one day, it happend: a mass shooting shattered her college campus. Over the span of a few minutes, on October 1, 2015, eight students and a professor lost their lives. And suddenly, Kindra became a survivor. This empathetic and ultimately hopeful graphic memoir recounts Kindra’s journey forward from those few minutes that changed everything.
It wasn’t easy. Every time Kindra took a step toward peace and wholeness, a new mass shooting devastated her again. Las Vegas. Parkland. She was hopeless at times, feeling as if no one was listening. Not even at the worldwide demonstration March for Our Lives. But finally, Kindra learned that—for her—the path toward hope wound through art, helping others, and sharing her story.
304 pages, Paperback
First published October 11, 2022
26 people are currently reading
6550 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 394 reviews
March 29, 2023
I am heartily sick of hearing about a different mass shooting what seems like every other day, and frankly, disgusted by the self-aggrandizing media and apathetic political response. Gun violence should be this country's greatest source of shame, but it has been normalized in a way that sickens me, and doubtless so many others. This graphic novel captures some of the pain those who survive such a horrific event endure, even when the eye of the country has turned away. While the book itself was not necessarily the best I've read on the subject, it was moving and made me really consider how much attention is given to the perpetrator, versus the victims and their friends and families. Something has to change, but my hope that it will is beginning to falter, I'm sad to say.
October 29, 2022
“This book is dedicated to those who have been taken by gun violence and to the families, loved ones, and first responders who carry on their memories”’.
Kindra and her mother moved from Texas to Oregon. She went to school with metal detectors, police dogs, and officers. The school had security guards who were there mostly to make sure kids were not skipping class.
Kinda loved the outdoors- her freedom to play in local rivers and creeks with her friends.
Gun violence wasn’t something that Kindra was unfamiliar with. Back in Texas she lived in the neighborhood not far from drive-by shooters.
But in Oregon —she didn’t expect and gun violence. Who does?
She went to Umpqua in Community College, in
Roseburg, Oregon.
In 2015, a gun man smiled and fired. (eight students and one police officer).
“Run! He’s shooting people!
Kindra was in a writing class.
“Numb to This” tells the devastating stories of the aftermath—PTSD, panic and anxiety attacks, depression, angry outbursts, and that every time she heard of a new shooting anywhere she withdrew into an awful
state …. and at one point she attempted suicide.
Today — Kindra does what she can to help other people who have had this experience.
—a very real story . … with beautiful artwork…. of all that it entails for Kinda Nelly being a survivor.
Kindra and her mother moved from Texas to Oregon. She went to school with metal detectors, police dogs, and officers. The school had security guards who were there mostly to make sure kids were not skipping class.
Kinda loved the outdoors- her freedom to play in local rivers and creeks with her friends.
Gun violence wasn’t something that Kindra was unfamiliar with. Back in Texas she lived in the neighborhood not far from drive-by shooters.
But in Oregon —she didn’t expect and gun violence. Who does?
She went to Umpqua in Community College, in
Roseburg, Oregon.
In 2015, a gun man smiled and fired. (eight students and one police officer).
“Run! He’s shooting people!
Kindra was in a writing class.
“Numb to This” tells the devastating stories of the aftermath—PTSD, panic and anxiety attacks, depression, angry outbursts, and that every time she heard of a new shooting anywhere she withdrew into an awful
state …. and at one point she attempted suicide.
Today — Kindra does what she can to help other people who have had this experience.
—a very real story . … with beautiful artwork…. of all that it entails for Kinda Nelly being a survivor.
January 12, 2023
Kindra Neely writes the graphic novel she wish she could have read following her traumatizing experience of being on the Umpqua Community College campus during a mass shooting on October 1, 2015. She spends years numb, depressed, and anxious before reaching out for the help she needs to advance the healing process.
While her emotional journey is interesting it is also slightly subdued and so inward-gazing that we hardly get to know anyone else in the book even as friends and family wander through the panels. I thought the story was opening up slightly when Radhii, a Malaysian roommate, was introduced after Neely transfers to the Savannah College of Art and Design in Georgia. They bond as the Radhii faces Islamophobia and worries about the election of Donald Trump, but having served to make that point in the story she then fades back into the background as the author returns to her inner narrative.
Returning to the start of the book, I thought it was effective to immerse readers in her confusion and fear during the violence by taking us with her as she fled and sheltered around the campus without fully being aware of what was happening and the full extent of the casualties. But then she proceeds on with the story without ever completely filling us in on what happened and how many people were actually killed and injured.
It's a sad statement about me and the current state of the U.S. that, frankly, I did not even recall this particular shooting and had to research it on the internet after finishing the book. With an opportunity to remind everyone about it, I find it odd that Neely, who portrays herself as active in creating an artistic memorial to the shooting victims at UCC, never actually acknowledges any of the victims by their full names. I get leaving the gunman out of the story to deny him the notoriety, but the absence of those shot and killed is a void hard to understand. (Likewise, she never fully names the college in the body of the book, referring to it only as UCC.)
I know this is Neely's personal story, but it feels off to go so deep into herself as to exclude all others also effected by it.
While her emotional journey is interesting it is also slightly subdued and so inward-gazing that we hardly get to know anyone else in the book even as friends and family wander through the panels. I thought the story was opening up slightly when Radhii, a Malaysian roommate, was introduced after Neely transfers to the Savannah College of Art and Design in Georgia. They bond as the Radhii faces Islamophobia and worries about the election of Donald Trump, but having served to make that point in the story she then fades back into the background as the author returns to her inner narrative.
Returning to the start of the book, I thought it was effective to immerse readers in her confusion and fear during the violence by taking us with her as she fled and sheltered around the campus without fully being aware of what was happening and the full extent of the casualties. But then she proceeds on with the story without ever completely filling us in on what happened and how many people were actually killed and injured.
It's a sad statement about me and the current state of the U.S. that, frankly, I did not even recall this particular shooting and had to research it on the internet after finishing the book. With an opportunity to remind everyone about it, I find it odd that Neely, who portrays herself as active in creating an artistic memorial to the shooting victims at UCC, never actually acknowledges any of the victims by their full names. I get leaving the gunman out of the story to deny him the notoriety, but the absence of those shot and killed is a void hard to understand. (Likewise, she never fully names the college in the body of the book, referring to it only as UCC.)
I know this is Neely's personal story, but it feels off to go so deep into herself as to exclude all others also effected by it.
December 5, 2022
This is an important story, and I appreciate the author's honesty about her experiences with PTSD. This book can be cathartic and helpful for other mass shooting survivors and witnesses, and is appropriate for a broad age range. The book deals with heavy topics related to violence and mental health struggles, and it dramatizes a suicide attempt, but anyone who is prepared to deal with the challenging subject matter can read this. This book doesn't have the kind of foul language or edgy sexual content that many contemporary YA books do, and is appropriate for younger readers.
However, even though I appreciated this book, it sometimes felt more like a journal entry than a memoir. There were so many confusing skips and transitions that I often went back to a previous page to see if I had missed something, and some of the supporting characters felt undeveloped. Without more context, some of these snapshots of the author's life felt surface-level or confusing, despite her immense vulnerability about her experiences as a survivor.
However, even though I appreciated this book, it sometimes felt more like a journal entry than a memoir. There were so many confusing skips and transitions that I often went back to a previous page to see if I had missed something, and some of the supporting characters felt undeveloped. Without more context, some of these snapshots of the author's life felt surface-level or confusing, despite her immense vulnerability about her experiences as a survivor.
November 19, 2022
Kindra Neely survived the Umpqua Community College shooting and has produced this graphic memoir of the experience and the PTSD that followed.
Neely recounts the fear and confusion of the day. It follows with self destructive thoughts and actions, panic attacks and attempts to feel better by attending memorials. There are constant reminders of violence every time a new shooting takes place, when she sees threats to Muslims and as she lives with a president who boasts of getting away with murder on 5th Avenue.
It was difficult to get help. Campus counselors were booked solid. There were no self-help books for this. Others in her art class encouraged to share her story; hence, she wrote this book.
This book can provide comfort for the many survivors of these killings. Unfortunately, they are not alone and their numbers are growing.
Neely recounts the fear and confusion of the day. It follows with self destructive thoughts and actions, panic attacks and attempts to feel better by attending memorials. There are constant reminders of violence every time a new shooting takes place, when she sees threats to Muslims and as she lives with a president who boasts of getting away with murder on 5th Avenue.
It was difficult to get help. Campus counselors were booked solid. There were no self-help books for this. Others in her art class encouraged to share her story; hence, she wrote this book.
This book can provide comfort for the many survivors of these killings. Unfortunately, they are not alone and their numbers are growing.
November 27, 2022
"We don’t have control if bad things happen to us or those we love. But we can choose what to do with ourselves after they happen. We can work to be better for it."
March 22, 2023
I know that the author's feelings and experiences prior, during, and post event are valid. I feel sorry for what she had been through, but this graphic novel was not for me.
The idea is really good, actually, but the development is just quite not there. The story is not consistent and too shallow that readers can barely feel for the character a.k.a author. There were so many times I had to check again and again to make sure that I didn't skip any pages. It's really hard to keep track on what's going on from the very first pages.The book focused on the author's feelings more than talking about the memories themselves so it's not easy to get to the same page with the author. A lot (almost) of characters that appeared in the book aren't fully developed, so this book is mainly just about the author.
Last but not least, as a graphic novel, this is not a good book. The draw is poor, especially facial expressions. I felt uncomfortable looking at them because sometimes the draws showed the facial expression differently from it should have been. Very regretted!
The idea is really good, actually, but the development is just quite not there. The story is not consistent and too shallow that readers can barely feel for the character a.k.a author. There were so many times I had to check again and again to make sure that I didn't skip any pages. It's really hard to keep track on what's going on from the very first pages.The book focused on the author's feelings more than talking about the memories themselves so it's not easy to get to the same page with the author. A lot (almost) of characters that appeared in the book aren't fully developed, so this book is mainly just about the author.
Last but not least, as a graphic novel, this is not a good book. The draw is poor, especially facial expressions. I felt uncomfortable looking at them because sometimes the draws showed the facial expression differently from it should have been. Very regretted!
May 5, 2023
I was expecting to love this graphic memoir but it ultimately missed the mark. for me.
There is a lot of real insight into surviving a school shooting, the resulting PTSD and lasting trauma, the isolation and hopelessness that survivors feel, as well as a lot of other issues that aren't being talked about enough. The art and colours are also quite good.
However, the execution was disjointed and like some frames were missing. I would have preferred a smoother flow and was left wanting to know more about what happened to other people, such as the author's roommate Radhii.
Overall, I do not feel like I gleaned enough from the book nor did it go deep enough into the issue of gun violence. Nevertheless, I appreciate getting to hear from a survivor's perspective and the conflicting emotions that follow such events.
There is a lot of real insight into surviving a school shooting, the resulting PTSD and lasting trauma, the isolation and hopelessness that survivors feel, as well as a lot of other issues that aren't being talked about enough. The art and colours are also quite good.
However, the execution was disjointed and like some frames were missing. I would have preferred a smoother flow and was left wanting to know more about what happened to other people, such as the author's roommate Radhii.
Overall, I do not feel like I gleaned enough from the book nor did it go deep enough into the issue of gun violence. Nevertheless, I appreciate getting to hear from a survivor's perspective and the conflicting emotions that follow such events.
December 4, 2022
Chilling and devastating to be reading this when it keeps happening over and over. How have we become numb to such a devastation?
This book is a look inside a survivors world. PTSD, anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, all of it. I’m not sure what I would even do with myself.
I really appreciate the author sharing her story and pain with us. We need more than thoughts and prayers and listening to survivors stories is an important step towards learning how to help.
My 6th grader picked this up at B&N and asked to read it. I won’t be encouraging him to read it at this age.
This book is a look inside a survivors world. PTSD, anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, all of it. I’m not sure what I would even do with myself.
I really appreciate the author sharing her story and pain with us. We need more than thoughts and prayers and listening to survivors stories is an important step towards learning how to help.
My 6th grader picked this up at B&N and asked to read it. I won’t be encouraging him to read it at this age.
December 31, 2022
Gun violence is a topic that comes up in schools from time to time, so I thought a graphic novel on the topic would make an interesting addition other books–fiction and nonfiction–to round out the conversation. Told from the point of view of a survivor, the story is less about the incident and more about the aftermath.
Kindra’s move from TX to OR as a kid was as consequence of a shooting incident. She wasn’t involved, but the proximity of the target made her mother feel unsafe, so they packed up and headed west. Years later, she’s in college and an incident happens on her campus that leaves her shaken. Anxiety attacks plague her whenever the anniversary of the event rolls around, whenever new incidences of gun violence occur, and anytime she feels closed in by people or places. Like many who suffer with anxiety, she does not seek help feeling that she should be able to get herself under control. Using her art to tell the story is part of that journey to wellness.
There is much about the story that I understand and empathize with, but there are other parts that seemed unnecessary. One of those things is the author’s use of plural pronouns to indicate individuals. Another was her bias reflected in comments about past presidents. It’s her story and she has the right to tell it the way she sees it, but some readers prefer to draw their own conclusions about political matters. 3
Kindra’s move from TX to OR as a kid was as consequence of a shooting incident. She wasn’t involved, but the proximity of the target made her mother feel unsafe, so they packed up and headed west. Years later, she’s in college and an incident happens on her campus that leaves her shaken. Anxiety attacks plague her whenever the anniversary of the event rolls around, whenever new incidences of gun violence occur, and anytime she feels closed in by people or places. Like many who suffer with anxiety, she does not seek help feeling that she should be able to get herself under control. Using her art to tell the story is part of that journey to wellness.
There is much about the story that I understand and empathize with, but there are other parts that seemed unnecessary. One of those things is the author’s use of plural pronouns to indicate individuals. Another was her bias reflected in comments about past presidents. It’s her story and she has the right to tell it the way she sees it, but some readers prefer to draw their own conclusions about political matters. 3
November 1, 2022
Author Interview: https://www.hercampus.com/school/nyu/...
I was given an advanced reader copy thanks to Kindra's publicist. I would never had thought I would enjoy the graphic memoir as much as I did. Yes, it's about a school shooting and Kindra's experience but it deals with so much more than that. She tackles subjects of depression and suicide and what people perceive it to be versus what is actually is. Without getting too political, she briefly mentions the elections and the March of Our Lives protest and how it tied into her experience of living through the physical and mental traumas without sugarcoating or writing it very darkly. She writes honest and authentic about topics that people sometimes wish not to address or mention. I'm definitely going to recommend it to others.
I was given an advanced reader copy thanks to Kindra's publicist. I would never had thought I would enjoy the graphic memoir as much as I did. Yes, it's about a school shooting and Kindra's experience but it deals with so much more than that. She tackles subjects of depression and suicide and what people perceive it to be versus what is actually is. Without getting too political, she briefly mentions the elections and the March of Our Lives protest and how it tied into her experience of living through the physical and mental traumas without sugarcoating or writing it very darkly. She writes honest and authentic about topics that people sometimes wish not to address or mention. I'm definitely going to recommend it to others.
January 25, 2023
This is a gorgeous and moving graphic novel. The shooting itself is not depicted--Kindra was on campus but not in the immediate vicinity of the shooter, so her experience was more of a chaotic "something's happening?" moment followed by the panic of evacuation and the grief of losing friends, followed by PTSD. I hate that so many people will find her experience immediately relatable, but even if you haven't directly survived a mass shooting I feel like just the act of existing in America can make a person feel adjacent to one.
Secondarily I think Kindra's path of going to community college and then arts school is something that older teens will like to read about--you don't HAVE to have it all figured out when you graduate high school! Most people don't!
Secondarily I think Kindra's path of going to community college and then arts school is something that older teens will like to read about--you don't HAVE to have it all figured out when you graduate high school! Most people don't!
July 25, 2023
I celebrate Kindra Neely’s bravery in creating “Numb to This” as a way of giving a voice to the survivors of mass shootings, including herself. That’s reason enough to recommend this fast read.
However, viewing this work through a critical lens leaves much to be desired. Narratively, it feels unfocused as the story speeds through events and characters without ever exploring them past their surface-level significance; without anchoring the reader, “Numb to This” feels like a diary entry without much context. I still think this is an important book, as it’s about America’s mass shooting epidemic (from someone who’s witnessed it firsthand), but “Numb to This” lacks the depth or complexity I’d hoped for.
However, viewing this work through a critical lens leaves much to be desired. Narratively, it feels unfocused as the story speeds through events and characters without ever exploring them past their surface-level significance; without anchoring the reader, “Numb to This” feels like a diary entry without much context. I still think this is an important book, as it’s about America’s mass shooting epidemic (from someone who’s witnessed it firsthand), but “Numb to This” lacks the depth or complexity I’d hoped for.
September 11, 2023
3.5
I was initially fully planning on a 3≤-star review. I have all sorts of critiques for this, and they still stand. But after I got about 100 pages in I was hooked.
I'll start with the positive like I always do. The beginning didn't have me very hooked. I just would've preferred reading something else, to be honest. All of the negatives listed in the later paragraphs made what was mildly interesting unworth it. Then, the text goes from normal... To suddenly talking about suicide.
After reading this I realize how INCREDIBLY this is done. The whole point of the words on those pages was that many times, there is no huge shift or sign. Things can be going normally. You can have just talked to the person. Sometimes it just happened. The pacing and text reflects this beautifully. There was no sign for the shift in topic. It just happened.
Then the actual suicide pages; oh my god. The art gets great and it's just... I don't know, calm? It was stressful and so peaceful at the same time. Like this was so wrong... but it would feel so nice to close my eyes and go to sleep. Maybe it's okay, isn't it?
"I just didn't feel like turning off the engine."
I was tearing up and somehow still felt a strange sense of peace. It was very well done and I believe fully that that's what she felt in the moment. She remembers it vividly and recounts it masterfully.
Other things, like her dealing with constant and sudden panic attacks and sickness over her PTSD, was also well done. I can feel it so vividly. I know exactly what she means when she writes these feelings. The gift shop page wasn't lingered on at all, and I still felt it in my core. Her telling herself that nothing actually happens while still being unable to control her tears was all too real.
Despite all it's flaws, there are just many well-written parts, and I teared up multiple times reading this.
Now for the negatives. For one, the beginning as a whole is very very weak to me. The backstory is alright, but the part where the shooting actually happens is terrible. It's somewhat incoherent and I couldn't tell what was happening. This tends to be one of the biggest issues in comics for me, because if panels jerk around too fast and don't pace themselves just right things can be hard to understand.
There's also absolutely zero impact. The best part of comics (or, in this case, graphic novels) is that you can use art to portray overwhelming emotion. If you haven't, I strongly suggest you read Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" to realize the point I'm making. It was very surface-level in it's art and narration while still not showing anything of the real events, making it absolutley pointless.
The art has great moments, like the incredible panel where she's trying not to freak out after the loud bang. I also really like the suicide page. For the most part, though, the anatomy and bodily proportions is TERRIBLE. It's a bit hard to look at sometimes.
Because of this, it can't be any more than a 3.5. I just refuse to give it less because of the rich emotions portrayed.
I was initially fully planning on a 3≤-star review. I have all sorts of critiques for this, and they still stand. But after I got about 100 pages in I was hooked.
I'll start with the positive like I always do. The beginning didn't have me very hooked. I just would've preferred reading something else, to be honest. All of the negatives listed in the later paragraphs made what was mildly interesting unworth it. Then, the text goes from normal... To suddenly talking about suicide.
After reading this I realize how INCREDIBLY this is done. The whole point of the words on those pages was that many times, there is no huge shift or sign. Things can be going normally. You can have just talked to the person. Sometimes it just happened. The pacing and text reflects this beautifully. There was no sign for the shift in topic. It just happened.
Then the actual suicide pages; oh my god. The art gets great and it's just... I don't know, calm? It was stressful and so peaceful at the same time. Like this was so wrong... but it would feel so nice to close my eyes and go to sleep. Maybe it's okay, isn't it?
"I just didn't feel like turning off the engine."
I was tearing up and somehow still felt a strange sense of peace. It was very well done and I believe fully that that's what she felt in the moment. She remembers it vividly and recounts it masterfully.
Other things, like her dealing with constant and sudden panic attacks and sickness over her PTSD, was also well done. I can feel it so vividly. I know exactly what she means when she writes these feelings. The gift shop page wasn't lingered on at all, and I still felt it in my core. Her telling herself that nothing actually happens while still being unable to control her tears was all too real.
Despite all it's flaws, there are just many well-written parts, and I teared up multiple times reading this.
Now for the negatives. For one, the beginning as a whole is very very weak to me. The backstory is alright, but the part where the shooting actually happens is terrible. It's somewhat incoherent and I couldn't tell what was happening. This tends to be one of the biggest issues in comics for me, because if panels jerk around too fast and don't pace themselves just right things can be hard to understand.
There's also absolutely zero impact. The best part of comics (or, in this case, graphic novels) is that you can use art to portray overwhelming emotion. If you haven't, I strongly suggest you read Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" to realize the point I'm making. It was very surface-level in it's art and narration while still not showing anything of the real events, making it absolutley pointless.
The art has great moments, like the incredible panel where she's trying not to freak out after the loud bang. I also really like the suicide page. For the most part, though, the anatomy and bodily proportions is TERRIBLE. It's a bit hard to look at sometimes.
Because of this, it can't be any more than a 3.5. I just refuse to give it less because of the rich emotions portrayed.
January 28, 2023
Content notes for school shooting, PTSD, trump's presidency, attempted suicide and Islamophobia.
As far as the nature of violence goes, it all happens well off the page. And while Goodreads has tagged this as an adult book, my library and World Cat have it shelved in the teen section.
What keywords came to mind reading this book? Autobiography of course, triggers, protest, education, community, and coming of age.
Not the absolute first book to the topic, surface level web searches seem to indicate this is the first nonfiction comic dealing with school shootings? I'm certainly interested to hear if this is not the case. It's certainly the first I've read on the topic, although I'm kind of surprised it's taken this long on both counts.
As an outside observer, it sometimes feels a bit overly vague, but I mostly chalk this up to how difficult it can be to write about trauma. So more of an observation then a critique.
It is more of a feelings book then a detail oriented book, and it is particularly not a stats book, which was one of the leading causes of negative reviews.
The art overall felt just a smidge rougher then I expected, but not really distractingly so.
Overall a very focused book. There wasn't too much diversity mixed in, although Kindra's highlighting her Muslim room mate's experience under the trump presidency felt like it fleshed things out a bit.
Obviously a memoir that largely revolves around coming to terms with life with PTSD, which is a disability, we don't really go all the way to identifying the with the wider disabled community... Which is unfortunate, but Neely's journey is only starting.
At the very start of we do see a bit of the intersection of class and disability as she describes the financial ramifications of her mother becoming disabled and losing her job in the air force.
Overall a hard but also somewhat cathartic read. I've only had a brush up with something that people thought was a mass shooting in the moment, but ended up not being one... Which is honestly closer then anyone should ever be. Four stars.
As far as the nature of violence goes, it all happens well off the page. And while Goodreads has tagged this as an adult book, my library and World Cat have it shelved in the teen section.
What keywords came to mind reading this book? Autobiography of course, triggers, protest, education, community, and coming of age.
Not the absolute first book to the topic, surface level web searches seem to indicate this is the first nonfiction comic dealing with school shootings? I'm certainly interested to hear if this is not the case. It's certainly the first I've read on the topic, although I'm kind of surprised it's taken this long on both counts.
As an outside observer, it sometimes feels a bit overly vague, but I mostly chalk this up to how difficult it can be to write about trauma. So more of an observation then a critique.
It is more of a feelings book then a detail oriented book, and it is particularly not a stats book, which was one of the leading causes of negative reviews.
The art overall felt just a smidge rougher then I expected, but not really distractingly so.
Overall a very focused book. There wasn't too much diversity mixed in, although Kindra's highlighting her Muslim room mate's experience under the trump presidency felt like it fleshed things out a bit.
Obviously a memoir that largely revolves around coming to terms with life with PTSD, which is a disability, we don't really go all the way to identifying the with the wider disabled community... Which is unfortunate, but Neely's journey is only starting.
At the very start of we do see a bit of the intersection of class and disability as she describes the financial ramifications of her mother becoming disabled and losing her job in the air force.
Overall a hard but also somewhat cathartic read. I've only had a brush up with something that people thought was a mass shooting in the moment, but ended up not being one... Which is honestly closer then anyone should ever be. Four stars.
January 26, 2023
Very moving.
This is a memoir, in graphic novel form, of the author’s own experiences after a shooting occurred on her college campus in 2015. She was not physically harmed, but the impact the tragedy had on her mentally, for years, was enormous. The frequent mass shootings that kept happening in her country, again and again, also deeply affected her.
This was a beautiful book, though difficult to read because of the subject matter. I’m reading this only a few days after mass shootings in California and Oregon occurred within days of each of each other, and shaking my head in disbelief. I cannot imagine how this type of news must affect survivors like K.Neely, and so many, many others.
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg. 285)-“We don’t have control if bad things happen to us or those we love. But we can choose what to do with ourselves after they happen.”
Thank you to the author for opening herself up and sharing this part of her life with others.
This is a memoir, in graphic novel form, of the author’s own experiences after a shooting occurred on her college campus in 2015. She was not physically harmed, but the impact the tragedy had on her mentally, for years, was enormous. The frequent mass shootings that kept happening in her country, again and again, also deeply affected her.
This was a beautiful book, though difficult to read because of the subject matter. I’m reading this only a few days after mass shootings in California and Oregon occurred within days of each of each other, and shaking my head in disbelief. I cannot imagine how this type of news must affect survivors like K.Neely, and so many, many others.
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg. 285)-“We don’t have control if bad things happen to us or those we love. But we can choose what to do with ourselves after they happen.”
Thank you to the author for opening herself up and sharing this part of her life with others.
December 10, 2023
This is a beautiful and raw graphic memoir about the authors experience during and after a mass shooting at her community college in 2015.
I can only say great things about this book, because I believe the title is so accurate. We as a society, have become so numb to mass shootings. And thoughts and prayers aren’t going to help. I found the parts that took place after the shooting to be the most important. She shows how much she struggled, and how difficult it was for her to move forward with her life. The PTSD and depression were portrayed with such honesty. I loved this book for what it puts out into the world.
I can only say great things about this book, because I believe the title is so accurate. We as a society, have become so numb to mass shootings. And thoughts and prayers aren’t going to help. I found the parts that took place after the shooting to be the most important. She shows how much she struggled, and how difficult it was for her to move forward with her life. The PTSD and depression were portrayed with such honesty. I loved this book for what it puts out into the world.
December 30, 2022
Wow. This was heavy. But soooo needed.
July 20, 2023
This one was hard, but I appreciate Neely putting herself out there with her story.
December 2, 2022
I enjoyed this graphic memoir of what it is like to deal with the tragedy of being in a mass shooting and the fear and uncertainty and ptsd that comes with it.
Neely explores how she worked through it on her own and found a way out in her creative output. It's also a cry that we should put fewer people through the ordeal that she went through.
The thing that really struck me when I was reading it - not the tragedy, or the personal story, or the remembrance of all the people we've lost - what struck me was that I cannot for the life of me remember the coverage or the event that is central to this text.
We have had so many of these shootings that it's not just her, but we have all become "Numb to this".
Neely explores how she worked through it on her own and found a way out in her creative output. It's also a cry that we should put fewer people through the ordeal that she went through.
The thing that really struck me when I was reading it - not the tragedy, or the personal story, or the remembrance of all the people we've lost - what struck me was that I cannot for the life of me remember the coverage or the event that is central to this text.
We have had so many of these shootings that it's not just her, but we have all become "Numb to this".
November 19, 2025
Overall rating: 4 stars
Style/writing: 4 stars
Themes: 5 stars
Perspective: 4 stars
Art: 3.5 stars
Trigger warnings: Suicide attempt, suicidal ideation, mass shootings, gun violence, panic attacks, mental illness, death, grief, islamophobia, homophobia, vomit
Style/writing: 4 stars
Themes: 5 stars
Perspective: 4 stars
Art: 3.5 stars
Trigger warnings: Suicide attempt, suicidal ideation, mass shootings, gun violence, panic attacks, mental illness, death, grief, islamophobia, homophobia, vomit
January 24, 2023
Read in one sitting because it's impossible not to, also ow. I don't think I have any other words.
July 7, 2025
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 19, 2022
I think this is an important story for anyone to read, whether or not a mass shooting has directly impacted your life. Understanding perspectives of survivors is vital, sympathy is one thing, empathy is a whole other beast. I have a lot of emotions after reading this that I can't put into words, but I am so glad that Kindra told this story.
September 30, 2022
Graphic memoir NUMB TO THIS tells the emotional, ongoing story of Kindra Neely's experiences with gun violence, PTSD, art, and activism. Raised in Texas, Neely and family relocated to Oregon after neighborhood gun violence struck too close to home. Living in Oregon was idyllic for Neely, she eventually enrolled in Umpqua Community College, where her live would change.
On October 1, 2015, a mass shooter killed eight students and professor on campus. But death is not the only harm mass shooters inflict. There's the PTSD, the depression, the survivor's guilt, the reverberations felt by everyone. Through art, therapy, and support, Neely is able to start living her life again, but it's hard to stay centered when mass violence continues to proliferate the news, when the body counts grow higher, when there is never any change to help prevent these tragedies.
A must read for older teens, new adults and parents. The topic is heavy, but, depending on lived experiences, Neely's memoir will make the reader feel less alone, help develop understanding for those impacted, or illuminate the true ongoing impacts of mass violence.
On October 1, 2015, a mass shooter killed eight students and professor on campus. But death is not the only harm mass shooters inflict. There's the PTSD, the depression, the survivor's guilt, the reverberations felt by everyone. Through art, therapy, and support, Neely is able to start living her life again, but it's hard to stay centered when mass violence continues to proliferate the news, when the body counts grow higher, when there is never any change to help prevent these tragedies.
A must read for older teens, new adults and parents. The topic is heavy, but, depending on lived experiences, Neely's memoir will make the reader feel less alone, help develop understanding for those impacted, or illuminate the true ongoing impacts of mass violence.
February 23, 2023
As important as it is to explore this topic in any format imaginable, and as important as it is to have the voices of a subject represent themselves, this graphic novel is a mess. Transitions are lacking entirely or abrupt, making for a confusing read. Characters are introduced not never developed - they feel transitory and ephemeral. At least in this reader, this book created very little emotional or intellectually engagement. The exception to that was Neely's reactions to each mass shooting after the one in which she was involved; I thought she effectively conveyed how seeing those headlines was a reliving of her trauma. I also thought she did an effective job of exploring how outside organizations capitalized on the lived, horrible experiences survivors (and the deceased) for their own benefit.
As a personal statement - art as catharsis, as a place to explore and work through trauma - this book has a lot going for it. But it did not add up to a good read or a well told story.
As a personal statement - art as catharsis, as a place to explore and work through trauma - this book has a lot going for it. But it did not add up to a good read or a well told story.
December 6, 2022
A very touching memoir that covered an important issue students face today. Many points Kindra made here reflect what I have felt over the years and during my time in school, as well as what my students have said to me. The most heartbreaking part of reading this wasn't the number of shootings I recognized, but the ones I've never heard of before. I cried through the entire book and finished it in one sitting. I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels emotionally ready to read it.
February 19, 2024
This is a deeply emotional view into a survivor of a mass shooting. She covers everything from the shooting, to her mental health and attempted suicide, to panic attacks and trying to heal. The feeling of people just watching them as entertainment, not as other people. This is a hard to read subject presented in an easier to read format in graphic novel form. Overall, well done and a good read for those who suffer from ptsd and panic attacks, as well as those who want to understand and support them.
Kindra was plastered all over the news when the school shooting happened at her community college in Oregon. She was on the front page of a national newspaper before she even got home. As more and more shootings happened, she became convinced that nothing was going to become any better, because as a nation we had become “numb to this”
Kindra was plastered all over the news when the school shooting happened at her community college in Oregon. She was on the front page of a national newspaper before she even got home. As more and more shootings happened, she became convinced that nothing was going to become any better, because as a nation we had become “numb to this”
December 18, 2022
This was a great graphic memoir about living with PTSD after surviving a mass shooting. The author was at Umpqua Community College in 2015 when 8 students and one professor were murdered. The book focuses more inwardly; how weeks, months, and years later this event has altered Neely’s life. Moreover, this is something she can’t get over because every few months, we get another news alert about another shooting. Neely is frank about her experience, through suicide attempt, night terrors, and art as therapy. I thought the illustrations really conveyed the reality shooting survivors face.
April 18, 2023
A survivor of a campus mass shooting finally finds solace from triggers and panic attacks by creating this graphic novel. It’s a good memoir; very personal and full of details of the listlessness and pain that only one who’s gone through it could know to share.
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