Saving Grace: Speak Your Truth, Stay Centered, and Learn to Coexist with People Who Drive You Nuts

by Kirsten Powers

The CNN senior political analyst and USA Today columnist offers a path to navigating the toxic division in our culture without compromising our convictions and emotional well-being, based on her experience as a journalist during the Trump era, interviews with experts, and research on what leads people to actually change their minds.

"Bracing, elevating, and essential . . . Kirsten Powers has given us a great gift at an urgent hour." --Jon Meacham

For years, New York Times bestselling author Kirsten Powers has been center stage for many of our nation's most searing political and cultural battles as a columnist, TV analyst, and one-time participant in the thunderdome of Twitter. On a good day, there will be civil disagreement. On a bad day, it's all-out trench warfare--nothing but a cycle of outrage and self-righteousness. More and more, Powers finds herself wondering, along with countless Americans: How are we to cope with this non-stop madness?

In Saving Grace, Powers writes with wit and insight about our country's poisonous political discourse, chronicling the efforts she's made to stay grounded and preserve her sanity in a post-truth era that has driven many of us to the edge. She draws on lessons offered by faith leaders, therapists, theologians, social scientists, and activists working for change today. She dismantles the widespread misconception that grace means being nice, letting people get away with harmful behavior, or choosing neutrality in the name of peace. Grace, she argues, is anything but an act of surrender; instead, it is a kinetic and transformative force.

Saving Grace offers a template for a different kind of America, one where we can engage with people who hold opposing views without sacrificing our values or our passionate beliefs in the causes we care about. It's a culture that embraces repentance and repair, a process through which those who have caused harm can take responsibility and work toward righting the wrongs in which they have participated. It's a place where we're empowered to see the possibility in other people, even people who are driving us nuts.

Provocative, original, and filled with deep wisdom, Saving Grace is an essential read for anyone engaged in the struggle to live compassionately in an era of relentless demonization and division.

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Self Help, Christian, Book Club, Memoir, Politics

224 pages, Hardcover

Published November 2, 2021

Reviews

[Chris R · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was initially drawn to this book because in recent years politics has made me feel sick. I come from a family that is largely the opposite of me politically, unfortunately, resulting in some unproductive, nasty arguments and quiet resentment damaging our relationships. Until recently, I was also glued to the 24/7 news cycle and social media outrage. For years I mistook this as the necessary price to pay for caring about the issues that matter. As a longtime follower of Kirsten Powers, I knew she had been through something similar and had come to these conclusions about grace, and was curious to learn more.

Thanks in large part to her insights in this book I have discovered a better way. Powers explains how grace enables us to stand strong in what we believe and use our energy constructively to do what is right. What I was doing before was not only unhealthy, it was counterproductive.

Powers also delves into the ways grace can be adulterated, including it being weaponized as an attempt to silence marginalized groups or treated as simple “niceness” without any substance. The importance of this can not be understated and Powers goes above and beyond in her research, breadth of interviews, and explanation. Going from this, she informs the reader of a complete, meaningful understanding of grace that achieves true justice and peace in our lives and society.

I initially started following Powers after reading her first book, The Silencing in 2015 and being familiar with her commentary (then) on Fox News. As she details in the book, her views and approaches have changed significantly since then (as have mine). Rather than avoiding the uncomfortable, she owns up to her previous lack of empathy and the harm caused by that. She explains, both through personal example and practical explanation how we can have grace for ourselves as we learn and grow, while also taking the essential step of grace in taking action to rectify the damage we have done to others.


To make a long story short, I highly recommend this book. It is exceptionally researched, powerfully personal, and hits at the core of many woes in our society today. I can attest to the fact that it was not only an enjoyable read but one that helped me find greater inner peace while working to create a better world. I am convinced any reader will find something of value for their lives as well.

[Avid · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was bound and determined not to like this book because it had the religious-oriented word “grace” in the title. A friend gave it to me and insisted i give it a chance. Really glad i did. It’s one of the few (the only?) books i’ve read lately that offers both an understanding of what i’ve been feeling about my fellow countrypeople since the 2016 election and a constructive approach for caring for myself and others in today’s deeply divided America. It’s a fairly quick read, and i just have to recommend that you give it a chance, as well.

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Kirsten Powers for writing a book that I needed, especially at this time in my life. I think everyone should read this book in such trying and uncertain times. A great guide for humans dealing in crisis. It provided much needed affirmation that I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings on the divisiveness in American society. She shares her practical tips for practicing wellness in these interesting times. She shares her grace and gives me grace. Thanks Kirsten for giving me faith.

[Julie Dailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book comes at right a moment in our lives with many changes happening all around us. I love Kirsten’s honest and truthful account of her own life trials and struggles. This is a great opening to the discussion of swimming upstream against so many daily struggles socially, politically and environmentally. Kirsten brings a witness to taking on one’s daily life with Grace. Brilliant read and very spiritual journey. Love this book, a must read.

Julie A Dailey

[Louise Hulewsky · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up

[Jeannie]

I knew I wanted to read this book after I heard her interviewed. Well worth the read. She shares many personal stories and political, too. Besides the over arching theme of what grace is and isn’t and how to live that out- the highlights for me were addressing dualistic thinking, studies throughout with surprising findings, and how stories can change one’s view (vs heaping facts or shame on people).

[James Veliky · Rating 5 out of 5]

“What are we to do-we who are properly skeptical and scientific minded- with this ‘ powerful force originating outside of human consciousness which nurtures the spiritual growth of human beings’?
- M. Scott Peck, M.D.
The Road Less Traveled

“ I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.”
-John Newton
Amazing Grace

I was drawn to this book because of the subject of grace, but it was a surprise to me in many ways.
It is a spiritual work without being religious. Few people that I know could reveal their misjudgment about others as stunningly as Kirsten Powers. She calls herself out with brutal precision and honesty about her past constructions of those in her family and professional career. This is ultimately a work of great humility, strength , and honesty. It made me recall an incident at Penn State in my sophomore year over fifty years ago. Every student was required to take Speech 200. The first time I ever spoke in front of a group was in this class,shaking like a leaf, throat tightening and words coming out forced and dry. Then something happened. I stopped shaking, my voice became confident and clear and I finished my two minute talk. As I sat down in my seat, the Professor addressed the class and said: “ for the first thirty seconds you witnessed a person in a great battle with himself.” And looking at me he said: “and congratulations- you won.” Grace is “ Amazing”.
Congratulations Kirsten, you won.

[Amy Lauger · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 2019, Kirsten Powers began a Twitter thread with “I have spent the last few weeks in a mostly Twitter free zone to spend time reflecting on what role I may have played in what indisputably has become a dangerously toxic culture. I am not proud of what I have found.” She proceeded with a self-reflective analysis of her commentary as a columnist and political analyst. I am thankful she has taken the time over the last couple of years to explore these topics further. This resulting book has certainly been a salve to me, a person who has been so disenchanted by how polarized our country is and the first-hand role our media often plays in that polarization. I am grateful for the self-awareness, honesty, and courage that Ms. Powers shows in this book. Those already familiar with her will encounter the same well-researched, insightful, and direct analysis they’ve come to expect from her.

Ms. Powers writes about what “grace” is and is not, primarily seen in the context of her Christian beliefs, and aptly applies the concepts to her life and work. She discusses how her self-described lack of grace was not only hurting those with whom she disagreed but was also hurting her own health and happiness. She describes how grace is not merely for the other person but is also liberating for oneself and shows how that is the case. I recommend this book wholeheartedly to political junkies and the like, as well as anyone who has simply struggled with people “who drive [them] nuts.” For many of us, there’s no better time than now.

[Keisha Blair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kirsten's book should be required reading on the role of grace in turbulent times and particularly now with our collective despair and polarization, especially in the North American context. I have started to think more about how I apply grace in my own personal life in my own relationships - both personally and professionally. Perhaps this is just the type of healing the world needs now - a healing through grace. Great work Kirsten! It was amazing chatting with you about Saving Grace on the Holistic Wealth podcast with Keisha Blair.

[Renee Gillette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got about halfway through this book and took a long break. The content was good, just focused largely on Power’s backstory. Knowing her story now, I don’t think I would have taken a chance and picked up this book. But her experience is precisely what makes the last half of the book so engaging and helpful. She’s been through it. In a time where no one in the political arena seems to be able to change their minds, that is precisely what she has done. The last 4 chapters were especially impactful. I highly recommend.

[Kailee Eidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book a couple weeks ago but have been journaling about it and mulling over my notes. The universe is really weird in that sometimes it sends you exactly what you need. This book tied hand in hand with everything I've been working on in therapy. I found this book from a podcast with Sophia Bush and was intrigued.

Kirsten could have probably just called me up personally instead of going through the hassle of publication because she definitely wrote this book specifically for me. When she was explaining the constant loop of fury, panic, guilt that she experiences when arguing with people who don't agree politically I felt seen and couldn't believe how well she was able to put those feelings into paper.

This book has made me a better communicator and was able to put me in my lane on the problems I bring to a disagreement with Republicans. I love that the author validated that we are allowed to be angry about the injustices happening in our country and that grace is not accepting the status quo but that grace IS learning how to not demonize an entire group of people based on their political identify alone. Grace IS action. Also realizing that we don't have to ALWAYS fight back, some situations we can walk away from.

"Choose confrontation wisely, but when it is your time don't be afraid to stand up, speak up and speak out against injustice"-John Lewis

This is a top 5 for 2022 for me but I do not think that this book is for everyone. However, if you're heavily involved in politics or community activism this book is definitely for you.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought provoking book on how to interact with others during this extremely polarized time in our nation. Powers has done some deep reflection on her own ways of discussing sensitive topics and brings up important points about dualistic thinking, the role of trauma in how we view the world, the impact of social media and news intake, setting boundaries, and how to truly have a meaningful conversation with someone who is on “ the other side” ( to use a dualistic phrase!). The book is part of her own journey in repenting of some of her past missteps in the public forum. Very recommended reading.

[Cynthia Thomeer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book both explains why some people drive us nuts and gives good suggestions for what to do about it. It gave me a fresh perspective on boundaries and compelled me to remove the log from my own eye before attacking the speck in the eye of another. I genuinely feel empowered to take on the coming political season with lots of limits and even more grace, for myself and others.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really struggled with this book. I am not a political person and I was trying to advance my knowledge. There were just terms that she was using that I couldn't wrap my head around.

Thank you Convergent Books and NetGalley for the advance read.

[Signora · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the philosophy of this book, realizing we have to find ways to navigate and communicated in our troubled times that is constructive and healing.

[Bob Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had three people on the same day, encourage me to read “Saving Grace.” At first, I was skeptical, yet after considering the combined wisdom of the three people who suggested I read it, I had to give it a shot. I will be honest, it took a while to get into reading it, maybe because I wasn’t ready to revisit some of our recent political moments. But as I continued on, I was riveted by Kristen Powers’ willingness to open up and truly wrestle with our condition in America.

To focus solely on grace seems a hard sell in our culture, but Powers was able to bring it. At points I was saying “Amen Sister, Preach It!” and on other occasions I found myself deeply introspective asking myself what I have done to cause this current condition.

I appreciate how Richard Rohr said, “It is not often that intelligence and spirituality are put together as well as Powers does…” I could not agree more.

At times I thought I was reading a text from seminary, at other times I felt I was on a reflective and introspective retreat, and even other times I found this a commentary, primer, or even guide for reconciling, communicating, or just being able to listen again. My anxiety lessened as I read on, my frustration lessened, and overall I felt grace embracing me and saying, “All will be fine.”

This is a must read as we continue down this difficult path of polarization in America, in our Churches, in our families, even in our own souls.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Common sense wisdom in an age of vicious politics. Thank you, Kirsten, for having the courage to write this book. It has, and will, help me. And I'm sure it will have a positive impact for many who desire to be better people.

[Tass (lovemyreading) Assante · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really delves into the everyday discourse of our current culture as well as describing what we can do to change it. It is a reminder to practice grace in our everyday exchanges, either online or in person while encouraging us to get away from the harsh crass way of words that has become so prevalent in our society. This book is well written, well researched and diligently detailed, all while Kirsten exposes her own personal vulnerabilities and lessons learned on the subject.
I highly recommend. Everyone will be able to relate and apply it in someway to their own lives.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the right book at the right time for me. There are parts I will want to go back and review for exceptionally helpful content, hence the 5-star review.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew of Kirsten Powers, but I've given up watching all TV news shows, so I've never seen her on CNN or Fox. After reading Saving Grace, I feel like we are close friends.

Like Kirsten, during the last few years I have felt torn between speaking my truth and coping with the consequences. I learned many of the lessons Kirsten learned, and if she had been able to write Saving Grace a few years ago, she would have saved me mental anguish and a lot of time. My hope is that people from a wide array of political perspectives will read Saving Grace because her approach brings civility back into political discussions. But regardless of the book's overall potential for improving the quality of political discourse, Saving Grace will help individual readers understand that when discussing politics, one should first think about the great challenge Kenny Rogers set forth in his song "The Gambler": "You got to know when to hold 'em; know when to fold them; know when to walk away; know when to run."

Kirsten acknowledges that she originally came to the subject of grace from a Christian perspective, but please, non-Christians, don't let that scare you off. Grace is a universal tool to be used to improve human relationships on all scales--from self-assessment, to interpersonal relationships, to societal relationships. In its simplest form, grace involves taking a step back before engaging in discussions that involve moral or political differences in order to assess whom you are talking to, why you're talking to them, and what you do and don't want to result from the conversation. By making this assessment, you will be better able to have fruitful, constructive discussions and to avoid arguments that would be more costly to your psyche (and theirs) than the outcome is worth.

The book is conversational in style with Kirsten sharing the struggles she has gone through before she opened her heart and mind to grace. Initially, I was put off by a couple of her examples but came to realize that there were enough examples and logic in her arguments that the specific merit of any given example was unimportant. The conversational style was great for readability--I sped right through it--but at times I would think, hey, Kirsten, you could make some nice yes/no flow charts that summarize the decision points described in the book to make them easier to remember. Just a thought for the next edition . . .

[Libby Lake · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having the privilege of reading a preview copy of Saving Grace has provided me with so much more than the insight and tools to practice grace. The book is an honest, raw and deeply personal story of a woman who, despite her well-meaning views on a range of social and political issues, recognises that in her past, she has caused hurt to others through her often rigid thinking.

Not only do I have this in common with Kirsten, I also share a childhood of trauma caused by an unhealthy relationship with my own mother, a relationship I still work on every day. A relationship not only marred by deeply hurtful words and actions, but by our diametrically opposite views on gender, race and other socio-political issues. It is these parts of the book, identifying and processing unhealed trauma, and setting healthy boundaries, that most resonated with me.

The highest praise I can share is not in the words I use in my review but my actions in jotting down copious notes and highlighting passages that impacted me the most powerfully, I will return to these notes when I'm struggling to demonstrate the kind of grace I know I should, and am, capable of.

By sharing her life with the world, owning up to past mistakes, revealing the traumas she has lived through and detailing her journey of repentance, Kirsten demonstrates incredible courage. I have long admired her as a political commentator and I admire her even more so now.

[Alli Bittner · Rating 5 out of 5]

My, how I needed this book.

Between racism, misogyny, anti-vaxx misinformation, January 6th lies, and more, it’s easy for a few minutes of social media scrolling to completely derail my entire day. I’m a One on the Enneagram, and Ones value justice. Seeing things that I perceive as unjust stirs up a very real and visceral anger in me, and it can be hard for me to shake that feeling or focus on anything else until I’ve righted the perceived wrong.

In this book, Powers unpacks the concept of grace. Grace is not the bypassing of repentance or accountability - that’s called “enabling.” But grace doesn’t view a person who has done wrong as irredeemable or without hope. Rather, it engages that person in an empathetic dialogue whose end goal is to heal, not to “own” or defeat. And it mirrors the grace extended to us by Jesus himself. An exploration of the biblical definition of grace is interwoven throughout the book, and I greatly appreciated Powers’ examination of this foundational Christian principle through a lens that is exceptionally relevant to today’s sociopolitical climate.

After reading this book, I’ll probably spend less time doom-scrolling Twitter whilst spiraling into self-righteous rage. Instead, I’ll only seek out those corners of the interwebs when I have the energy and spiritual fortitude to truly engage with grace - and when I’m good and “prayed up” to handle what I know I’ll inevitably find there!

Five stars.

[Catherine Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Kristen Powers book and it’s amazing. She has lived the trench warfare of American politics in the media and nothing really trumps lived experience. Especially because she’s lived it as a woman in a male dominated world and industry.

She applies Christian principals, but not exclusively and not obnoxiously. In fact her points are strengthened by using the same source that conservatives use as a blunt force object - the Bible and Christian principles based on the teachings of Jesus.

One of her main points is that people are capable of change and we need to stop othering and demonizing people who don’t agree with us. That’s not how we win anyone over to our point of view.

She also addresses our binary thinking, duality, labeling, and the poisonous toxicity of social media and the 24/7 news cycle.

Saving Grace really resonated with me. My husband Tom & I feel fortunate to be a part of a discussion of this book with the author Kirsten Powers as part of the National Cathedral’s “Longer Tables, Shorter Walls” series in November 2021.

This book offers a path forward for our country because it addresses the single thing we all have 100% control over - ourselves. Change starts here.

[Dave Osborne · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Don’t marinate in it.” In this 2021 nonfiction short book, Kirsten Powers, a CNN political analyst and USA columnist, drawing from her own experience as someone sitting in the middle of public rancor, writes of her evolving discovery of finding a space for her personal spiritual and emotional wellness, a space where grace can be practiced.
For some readers, what Powers suggests may sound platitudinous: see the “other” as human, set boundaries, exercise humility, avoid dualistic/binary thinking, avoid cancel culture, be humble, learn to say no, avoid the fight impulse. But good reminders, in themselves, can be helpful.
I found an authentic, enlightened tone in this book, primarily because of Powers’ own personal, professional journey. Also, I found the book interesting because of the public sphere in which Powers has carved out her career. Finally, I found her book interesting because Powers grows into these learnings through a new-found faith perspective. (The book was published by Convergent Books, which publishes non-fiction that “informs, inspires, and illuminates while helping readers and communities through a faith perspective).
“Grace is good for the world, but it’s also really, really good for you” (178).

[Tom Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful, personal, and thought-provoking examination of what grace really entails and its role in allowing us to co-exist with people we might have dramatic disagreements with in a healthy and empathetic manner.

Powers discusses the use of grace using her own experiences to illustrate what grace is, and how it can be used in healthy ways, as well as how some may weaponize it to marginalize others and their experiences and feelings. I found myself relating to a number of these experiences and reflecting on my own attempts at grace and failures in being understanding and empathetic of others.

While this is written principally in the context of political disagreements, I think the points the author makes can be applied more generally in our interactions with others. It's very easy to form quick judgments on others, particularly strangers, without considering their experiences and points of view. I do appreciate her point that displaying grace doesn't mean setting aside one's core values or leaving words and actions antithetical to those values unchallenged.

Thanks to Goodreads and to the publisher for the opportunity to preview and review this prior to release.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Grace is good for the world, but it's also really, really, really good for you. It keeps you from giving away your power or becoming that which you oppose. When you reject the revenge, aggression, domination, and retaliation that are the hallmarks of our culture and respond with grace, you bring peace into the world. You bring peace into your heart."

I loved this book. Our stories are very different, but I feel like I have been on an interior journey parallel to Kirsten Powers' since 2016. I'm still learning the same lessons that she writes about: adopting nondual thinking, increasing my awareness of the scapegoat mechanism, differentiating between shaming and accountability, setting healthy boundaries, becoming aware of the impact trauma has on our bodies, learning humility, and embracing healthy conflict. It turns out we have been influenced by some of the same people: Ruby Sales, Howard Thurman, bell hooks, Richard Rohr, Resmaa Menakem, Brené Brown, Thomas Merton, et al.

This book was a wonderful way to end 2021.

[Cheryl Reymaniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational read as many, many of us struggled with change of society & mankind since 2016. Our simple opinions caused pain & dangerous consequences that divided our country. As a fan of Ms. Powers, I had predisposition of her political & moral opinions. I was very warmed she admitted personal change, position & embarrassment of her past comments before she discovered Grace and how she used it to enrich her personal & work life. 'Just say No' is my personal favorite chapter on the encouragement & importance of setting boundaries. I was doing this myself for quite sometime and was often accused of putting up my guard or setting my own rules. I was so relieved to read this is not only okay ,but healthy! I ended the book satisfied with many of my choices, change & room for future development. Thank you, Kirsten!

[Stacy Keister · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not one to publicly share my political or religious views due in great part to many of the examples mentioned in this book - it's not worth being attacked by those who have a different perspective. I only occasionally speak to my ideologies, for the same reason. "Saving Grace" breaks it all wide open though - a great use of real-world examples to provide perspective. Even if you have differing views from Kirsten's, political, religious, or otherwise, she does a great job of opening readers' eyes to see we all need to take a pause, allow for grace. Consider what others have been through, and how our own experiences shape not only our perspectives, but often our responses. This book is well written and a quick read, keeps your interest the whole way through, and provides moments of introspection we all could use.

[Erick Chomskis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't get past the second chapter. It started with promise and then the self-righteous second chapter oozed out. A book about grace and the inability to see the issues within yourself was hard to overlook. To only speak of how others were making you feel and how you had to find a way to overlook is laughable. Maybe look at your inability to see another side and what you were doing to others vs what they were all doing to you??

My time is valuable to me and I was really looking forward to this one, but it found its way to the can quickly. 😏

If you judge people by who they voted for or can't get over the headline of an issue and the complexity that makes us human, you will love this one.

[Joe Keefhaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

America has gotten into a difficult position, having divided itself into two warring camps. These camps not only disagree, but they often hate each other and tend to think the other side is not only wrong but evil. CNN contributor Kirsten Powers acknowledges how this binary thinking has caused her to say and do things she regrets. She offers solid ideas -- from a Christian perspective -- on how we can get beyond this destructive thinking. I have always liked and appreciated Powers when she appeared on TV, but I don't agree with everything she says regarding religion and politics. She doesn't advocate simply abandoning all your beliefs, but she does suggest extending grace to the other side and trying to understand other people's points of view.