A Vow of Hate

A Vow of Hate #1

by Lylah James

"An all-new standalone hate-to-love, arranged marriage romance with a TWIST from Lylah James."

“Once upon a time…”

Hate consumed him.
Love wrecked me.
That night changed both our lives, turning our beginning into something toxic. We were poison together and there was no antidote.

Our story began like any other fairy tale ended.
With a beautiful wedding.
One kiss.
Two rings.
Three vows.
Killian Spencer became my lawfully wedded husband and I, his dutiful wife.

But he was no Prince Charming. He didn’t come to save me… and he vowed there would be no happily ever after.
And me?

Just like the legends I'd read as a little girl, I always thought I’d be the princess in my fairy tale.
Well, I was the villain of our love story.

“Till death do us part…”

Genres: Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Dark Romance, Dark, Marriage Of Convenience, Contemporary, Second Chance

432 pages, Paperback

First published January 22, 2021

About the author

Author of The Mafia and His Angel. Creator of Alessio Ivanshov and Aylessio.

Reading is her first love and always will be.
Writing is her passion. She writes because the voices in her head won't stop and because they deserve to be heard and read. Lylah James writes about drool worthy and total alpha males, with strong and sweet heroines. She makes her readers cry - sob their eyes out, swoon, curse, rage and fall in love. Mostly known as the Queen of cliffhanger and the #evilauthorwithablacksoul, she likes to break her readers' hearts and then mend them again.

She uses all her spare time to write. If she is not studying, sleeping, writing or working - she can found with her nose buried in a good romance book, preferably with a hot alpha male.

Reviews

[❀ Rose ❀ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

🔹 Overall feelings:
〰 I honestly don’t know what to say. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a hard time writing a review but I’m gonna try to be as thorough as I possibly can. I liked some things in this book but I also really really hated some others. Without further ado, let me get into the nitty gritty parts of this book.

🔹 What I liked about this book:
〰 I actually really enjoyed the writing style and I truly think that this author is a talented story teller. I also think that I will definitely be reading more of her books in the future because I find that she has a lot of potential.

〰 This was not a real “dead ex-girlfriend’s sister” trope (thank God).

〰 I absolutely adored the flashback moments in the novel. Quite frankly I think they were my favorite. That can be seen as a good thing but unfortunately, I found myself enjoying the past way more than I enjoyed the “present” chapters but I’ll get into that later on in the review.

🔹 What did not work for me:
〰 First, I think that the pacing was actually a bit weird. Not the pacing of the actual story itself but more so the pacing of the characters’ development. It felt like Killian especially would jump from liking her to not liking her in the blink of an eye. For example, after spending the first 45% of the book being absolutely cruel to Julianna, she breaks down and tells him something along the lines of him ‘projecting his own guilt (over failing to protect Grace) onto her’. And literally right after this conversation, he’s like “whoa she was right. That’s what I’m doing” and then he proceeds to be decent for the next couple of weeks before switching back to his hatred. I don’t know but I felt like the back and forth frustrated me a bit but, funnily enough, that wasn’t even one of things that bothered me most about this book.

〰 So what did truly ruin this book for me? For one, I absolutely despised Killian the first 50% of the book. I mean that literally. I truly did not think that he could redeem himself in the second half of the book especially when his cruelty was kind of overboard.

〰 As for Julianna, I found her reasoning behind not telling Killian who she truly was to be absolutely stupid to be honest. And the fact that she allowed Killian to believe that she was dead for three years and she saw him mourn her and still didn’t confess to him that she was alive made me kind of hate her to be honest. She literally saw the man she loves mourn her death and she still decided that she wasn’t going to be honest with him. So, while I hated Killian during the first half of the book, I actually found myself hating Julianna during the second half. Go figure.

〰 The whole “Killian not recognizing Julianna” thing because of her veil was absolutely ridiculous in my opinion. Also, apparently she was able to change her voice for three years? Ok, sure. I’m not even going to dwell on that part in my review cause it’s just so unbelievable that I don’t even know what to say about it.

〰 Can we please talk for a sec about how Killian was a 30 year old virgin? Yep, you read that right. I’m also not going to go into detail about that part cause, again, I don’t even know what to say about it. Quite frankly, when I read that part, I snapped my fingers and pretended that I had not just read that phrase and moved on. (Especially when his virginity is literally only mentioned once and never talked about or alluded to again).

〰 Absolutely none of the side characters were explored. None. Throughout the book, Julliana’s best friend is a 14 year old girl and even she wasn’t explored in any way.

〰 The plot is absolutely nonexistent. I was led to believe that this was a mafia romance for some reason. It’s not. However, I don’t hold that against the author since it doesn’t actually say anywhere that It’s a mafia romance (I don’t even know why I thought it was in the first place). That said, we’re still led to believe that there’s some illegal activities going on but we never delve into those. That would have been fine by me if we were granted any other semblance of a plot. We weren’t however. The only “plot” we get has to do with the “murder mystery” which I will get to in a second.

〰 Apparently, Killian’s father was the former president of the United States. Killian is also apparently thinking of running for president in the near future. That would have been an interesting aspect but we literally never mention it except in passing. And let me tell you, not once do Killian’s actions actually make you believe that he might be a decent president (or that he’s even working towards that goal seriously). As his father tells him, he can barely keep his own marriage together so how the hell is he supposed to care for a whole country. We also never see him actually work. Aside from being a former president’s son, I have no idea what Killian does for a living or what his work actually entails.

〰 I absolutely hated the whole “twist” at the end. The one with Julianna’s father being the actual killer. I literally felt like I was watching a bad soap opera. That’s how stupid it was. The whole thing with Gideon also made me just want to...*throws phone across the room*

〰 Finally, I was actually able to detect many grammatical/typographical errors which really annoyed me. I don’t always mention stuff like this in my reviews, cause I know that publishing a book is definitely not an easy process and I know that some mistakes are bound to get past the editors no matter how much time they spend revising the book, but seeing as the publication date for this novel was pushed back many times, it seems to me that they should have been able to detect these very obvious mistakes during their extra rounds of revision.

🔹 The dialogue:
〰 Holly crap the dialogue. I found it to be so freaking repetitive at times. I swear at one point I was like: if they have one more conversation about how “their love is toxic” and how “she was poison” or how “she was water and he was fire”—whatever the hell that means— I, myself, was going to combust.

〰 Also, a lot of the time I actually found that the characters would speak in a way that was kind of ... unrealistic? Like, they would say a phrase and in my mind I’d actually ask myself “does anyone speak this way?”
...But I digress, maybe people do actually talk like that.

🔹 What I really thought about the characters:
〰 Honestly, I hated the “present” Julianna and Killian. I thought they were both immature and toxic and quite frankly, they needed to get a divorce and never see each other again. That said, I absolutely adored the younger versions of themselves. The ones that we get to see in the flashbacks. I usually hate flashbacks but I adored them in this novel. I even found myself thinking that if the whole book had been told in the “past world” then I would have loveddd this novel. What I mean by that is, if the whole story followed the younger couple while they fell in love and the whole plot was that she had to tell him who she truly was, then I would have really enjoyed this book. However, we unfortunately had to follow the adult/ toxic versions of the MC’s.

🔹 Final thoughts:
〰 I’m giving this book a 2.5-low 3 star rating. I realize that I disliked more things than I actually liked so this might seem like a high rating but I do think that the author is actually talented. I’m also definitely planning on trying another one of her books because I believe that she definitely seems like an author whose work I might enjoy (I just need to find the right trope and the right book written by her). That said, I both do and don’t recommend this book. I recommend it to people who have read this author’s work before and have enjoyed it. However, If you’re thinking of making this your first Lylah James book (like I did), then I would probably encourage you to pick up something else by her first.

———————————————————————————
Review before I read the book:

Of all the tropes, in all the books, in all the world, why the hell does it have to be the ex-sister trope? Seriously though.

I read the synopsis of this book a while back and got super excited (cause I wanted it to be my first Lylah James book) only to find out today that the guy gets with his ex’s sister. Like why? Seriously, why? Who the hell wants to read that? It makes me dislike and lose all respect for
A) the disrespectful guy who would even look at “the love of his life’s” sister in anything other than a sisterly way
And
B) the disrespectful girl who would look at her sister’s boyfriend in anything other than a brotherly way.

I don’t care if the sister is dead. Some boundaries should never be crossed.

Also, call me crazy but this morning while I was checking out the release date it said January 5th (so today) but now, I was checking again cz I couldn’t find it anywhere and it suddenly says January 15th. What is this sorcery?

Safe to say, I am ✨ disappointed. ✨

———————
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rose_books2/

[Ｄｒｅｙ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars!

... A vow of hate not love.

Because I'm generous, I've rounded it off to four.

If I completely based my rating on my current feelings, this would most likely be two stars or less. But nope. My personal feelings aren't a reliable preference this time.

Note: This is an arranged marriage, enemies to lovers romance.

I have a not-so-little problem with the hero. I'm not convinced of the development of his character. The things he did to the heroine in the beginning was asshole-ish and I think he lacked conviction and remorse. Frankly, all I wanted from him was more actions not words, if that makes sense.

This book looked like pieces of poetries wrapped up together in one story. I have a lot of highlighted lines that I really liked. I loved that it was based on classical tragic tales. The problem was that it's too much. The story went overdramatic and repetitive.

“Killian and I were an unfinished story, with no happy ending in sight. For we were more than a tragedy. We were an impending calamity; we were nothing but ugly together, wreaking havoc on our own souls. With our bare hands."

Killian and Julianna were arranged by their parents to marry each other. It was supposed to be Gracelynn whom Killian had to marry. But, she died on a car accident. Killian was so heartbroken that he vowed to destroy the woman who caused the death of his beloved.

“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you, to break you… and to hate you for the rest of our days."

Julianna was the younger sister of Gracelynn. They were best friends. Always behind each other's backs.

Killian did everything to make Julianna's life a living hell. Every abusive and harassing words had been said. He called her "beasty" because of her scarred face. He took everything that made Julianna somehow happy. But, could he really hurt what's already been broken?

“You seem to forget that every time. You. Are. Not. The. Only. One. Who. Is. Suffering. I miss her too. I loved her too. And yes, I hate myself too. More than you can ever hate me. So no, your anger and your hatred does nothing to me.”

Killian and Julianna stayed together just because they had to create a "heir." As what their parents had planned. They discussed to set apart when Julianna was pregnant. But one night, after they finished having. Killian found out the truth about Julianna.

The truths he figured out were; he hurt someone he loved. He was hurt by someone he loved.

“I had hurt her. In ways I never should have.”

The trajectory of the plot was not what I expected, which wasn't a good thing. I'm a bit disappointed because it was always Julianna who carried the story. What she'd done in the past was indeed reckless. But when I finished the book, I realized that she didn't deserve the consequences at all. The way she was treated was unjustifiable.

I'm definitely aware of the title. I've read the blurb. I expected revenge trope. But, I couldn't stomach physical abuse, even in a very small extent. That's a big NO for me!

Moreover, there were so many plot twists in the story that shocked me. Although, some were not solid. Some were a little messy, but I still liked it.

Overall, I enjoyed the story. Five stars for its creativity. Actually, I loved Killian's character at the end, the caring type. I would surely consider his heartless actions if he also asked for forgiveness. The heroine begged. But he did not at least ask. I need them mutual. So, his bad.

I recommend this to those who likes: arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, forbidden, revenge, emotional read, suspense, pregnancy, and happy ever after.

"If Gracelynn was looking down at me right now, I wondered if she would be proud of me. That in the end, I chose love and happiness. I chose to live."

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

my husband would never not recognize me just because i dyed my hair and altered the sound of my voice. like, please, fuck off.









-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈









thinking imma pop my ✨lylah james✨ cherry with this one bc

"If I want to fuck you – whenever, wherever and however I want, I will.
If I want to hurt you, I will.
You are my wife, Julianna.
You took vows.
To love, to cherish, to obey... till death do us part.

Do you remember my vows, wife?"

[naz · Rating 2 out of 5]

New drinking game: Take a drink every time you see the words "salvation", "atone" and "sin". Extra shot if they're all in the same sentence.

note: this does not have dead ex sister trope. THANK GOD, but the blurb and teasers were very misleading and i don't think it had the effect the author wanted it to have, imo.

I didn't connect with the characters, i really wasn't invested in the story even after the plot twist which i kind of figured out early on in the book. The last half was enjoyable and quite cute at times and i loved how the H was a virgin! But I may have read too many books with arranged marriage trope this month and i think i'm tired of it and need to stop before i ruin the trope for myself.

"Killian dragged the knife over my throat before pressing the sharp blade into my flesh, with the tiniest prick."
"With a growl of fury, I lunged sideways and grabbed a sword - a rapier - off the wall. Killian came to a halt when I pointed the tip of the sword at him."
they both put a knife to each others necks? i LAUGHED, i'm sorry but this is not a fantasy novel.

"I almost spent my seed in my pants." I AM STILL LAUGHING

"My fingers were just inside another woman. Her cunt juices are now smeared all over yours." This was never explained, did he cheat or was he lying?? Also he called julianna "beasty" because of the scars on her face and because everyone called her that behind her back?? yeah that's very lovely.

Anyway there was ALOT of drama and angst, so much was going on in this book that made my head spin. I might reread in a few months to see if I enjoy it better.







12/12/20
i hate dead ex trope but dead SISTER ex trope?????? i'm about to curl up in a ball and fucking cry from anger. i was honestly looking forward to this book.
why is it always the sister? no but what is so fucking appealing about this shit? so now killian's dick has been inside both sisters. gross

OMG i just saw some teasers from a couple of months ago:

“That three years ago, she killed my heart.”
julianna and her sister, gracelynn were in a car accident and she died. Killian obviously blames julianna for the loss of the love of his life. we’re also probably going to see disgusting amounts of him talking about how much he loved gracelynn, flashbacks from his AND julianna’s pov of them as a couple, thoughts about how he wanted a family and couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her.

“You. Taunt. Me. With your eyes. With this goddamn cello, reminding me what I've lost.”

“Why… why do your eyes look so much like hers? It fucking haunts me.”

[Mali Mor ❤️ The Romantic Blogger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lately I'm not really in a reading mode - but I knew I had to read this book... and even though it took me a while to finish - I was not disappointed! 👏

📚 "𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫, 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫; 𝐈 𝐯𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲.” 📚

Killian Spencer and Julianna Romano were arranged to be married by their fathers. He was supposed to marry his beloved Gracelynn, Julianna's sister and best friend, but she died on a tragic car accident. 💔💍
Killian was so heart broken that he vowed to destroy the woman who caused her death in any way possible. And so, he made Julianna's life a living hell. He even called her "beasty" because of her scarred face and she took it all because she felt like she deserve to suffer and repent her sins. 😭
Could he really hurt what is already broken? And can a vow of hate become a vow of love...? 💥💥💥

📚 “𝐈𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞.” 📚

I must point out that I don't like when the hero's "mythological ex" is the heroin's sister (I mean, it's SO wrong! 🙈😂) but it actually worked here.
However, The hero, Killian, was so cruel at the beginning - but I didn't feel his remorse or his attempts to make amends, so I had a really hard time forgiving him... 😬
Plus, I loved the secondary plot, with it's tragic historical tale, but after a while it became too much and too repetitive.

📚 "𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐭. 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥.” 📚

To sum up, I enjoyed this book! If you like enemies to lovers romance, arranged marriages, revenge and lots of ups and downs... this one's for you! ❤❤❤



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[⚔Irunía⚔ · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Oh, how I missed you, my love,”...
“You missed me too?”...
“I love you, sweet girl.”

What a sweet and emotional reunion between Julianna and her... mare Ragna 👉👈🥺 I low-key feel sorry for Killian, lol. But all jokes aside, just how way more touching and tearful can the reunion with your favourite pet be in comparison to the one with your lover? Or in comparison with any other scene in the book for that matter.

A few random thoughts that occurred to me during the reading/

The revenge aspect

“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you, to break you… and to hate you for the rest of our days. I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain in your story.”



Famous last words.
I mean the only thing this dude Killian was able to accomplish amounted to acting like an̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ regular romance novel guy.
So many beautiful and vindictive promises were made but the whole revenge scheme was limited to him sulking, him selling Julianna's beloved mare and.... have I forgotten to mention anything? I didn't feel like Julianna's reactions to his behaviour were justified in any way, I'm not suggesting anything, but Julianna was a much bigger asshole throughout the story.

Which brings me right to the self-loathing aspect

"He will dig under your skin, find all your flaws and shred you to pieces until your heart is bleeding at his feet."

"He saw through my thorned cage and tore down my walls with a single observation. Killian left me defenseless, before taking his dagger and driving it into my heart – leaving me bleeding with his careless words and heartless epiphany."

“Roses are beautiful, but their thorns can make you bleed,"




Don't mind me, though, just watching incredulously their dramatics is all.
I hate to use the word cheesy in my reviews for some unknown reason but seeing as I have just done that... yes, these bleeding, tearing down, digging under and what not lines underlying the entire text actually felt kinda cheesy?

The heroine allegedly self-loathes and tortures herself but the only thing I actually saw was the girl with a terminal self-pity stage. She desperately needed and wanted people (despite claiming otherwise) to like her and acted like a capricious spoiled brat when they (spoiler alert:Killian) didn't. She killed her sister or so she thought , after all, and I expected some kind of deep intense emotions and not the self-pity parties she threw this way and that way I had zero desire to attend.

I enjoyed the story but I didn't like it if it makes any sense. The storytelling was gripping even though I knew what the "great" plot twist would be about (because I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶u̶e̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶ in my typical fashion I came across a major spoiler in the comments' section). Doesn't mean I don't have quite a few questions to the said plot twist (and to the plot in general) . And don't even get me started on revelation of the secret under-killer aka loser at the end. WHAT WAS THAT? You canNOT just say “the butler did it” and sleep tight at night with a clear conscience. I think we can generally accept as truth the fact that the readers need to be given the opportunity (some clues) to guess, be it right or wrong, who the big bad guy of the story is and understand their underlying motivations. Some ridiculous excuse for a killer won't do even presented purely for shock value.

I also assume that asking for a tad more believable explanation behind characters' crazy ass actions would be too much.
At least a dime of plausibility would be extremely nice because without it
Such. A. Soap. Opera. Kind. Of. An. Unbelievable. Mess.

The only things I really liked - "past" chapters (they were hot) and occasional playful banter.

And the last observation on my part - while reading this book I caught myself thinking how it reminded me a lot of Rina Kent's Lies§Truths duet. The overall atmosphere, the writing style, a guy hell bent on revenge, sisters ' weird situation, false accusations, amnesia, rich ass people's problems... So I believe readers who enjoyed her series will probably like this book as well. No promises though.

P. S. I was shipping Cerberus and Ragna throughout the whole goddamn book😂/ what a wild pair of horses. ⭐🌟⭐ for Cerberus and Ragna

[❥ KAT ❥ Kitty Kats Crazy About Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

'VOW OF HATE' Is a full length stand-alone arranged marriage romance novel by Lylah James

Yesterday was spent on the couch inhaling this beauty, from that point onwards the world ceased to exist, until that last page was devoured. All the feels, all the angst, all the hatred, all the twists and turns, the old feel this story undertook had me enjoying this until the end. But with a wee bit of fine tuning this would've easily been a 5 star read for me, words were repeated throughout repetitively like ground hog day from chapter to chapter all in the name of vengeance.

❝ This marriage was his vengeance
the vows would not be of love, but of hatred.
His retaliation.
My atonement
One imperfect marriage. ❞

Killian was out for vengeance which had been brewing in his blood stream for three long years, losing the love of his life Gracelynn, his first love unhinged him leaving a bitter man in its place, setting him on a path of hatred towards Julianna, the woman he was forced to marry, when the woman he'd given his heart too was buried rotting in the ground because of one reckless moment when the sisters snuck out of the house one night and Julianna crashed the car killing Gracelynn, leaving Julianna with a limp and a one side of her face severely scarred which she covered up by wearing a veil and that's where this story started.

❝ I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn.
To hurt you, to break you... and to hate you for the rest of our days.
I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain in your story.
In health and in sickness, through sorrow and pain, for all the days of my life, I will be your worst nightmare. ❞

To say Killian hated Julianna is putting it mildly, with barbed tongue he cut her down to her core, any weakness he uncovered he used against her and eliminated it coldly without remorse.

So to sum it up ➡️This is an awesome arranged marriage angsty read with all the feels.

[EmBibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

Man, those two were so dramatic. I’m sorry, but the thing that really kept bothering me is the freakin over-poetic writing. It was just kinda too much like, ugh we get that your love is tragic. That you two were meant to have a tragic ending. That she’s a thorn. That your love is toxic. You two are poisonous and etc…

I was just over it. Other than the writing which was testing my patience, the story itself was good enough and full of twists that were kinda predictable but yeah whatever. And as for the characters…yeah they were just overdramatic. In an almost ridiculous way. I’m sorry, I get their pain, grief, and all, but I just couldn’t help but think that.

[youssra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Time for a re-read, I hope this is gonna be as good as i remember it being. And I also hope that it´s gonna get me out of this slump😭 If this slump was a person i would´ve fought it a long time ago💀
-----------------------
5★

This was my first ever non wattpad book and i´ll be forever grateful that i got myself to read this even though I never used to read or even liked reading. I probably would've never started reading if it wasn´t for this masterpiece right here. I really gotta reread this soon to see if it's still as good as I remember it being lol. It's almost been a year since i read this and i still think about this on the daily.
-----------------------

THIS BOOK IS TEARING ME APART AND GUESS WHAT? I LOVE IT 😭

Okay so about the book. I´ll try to make this review of the things I still remember, it´s been to long since i read this.

The things Killian did to Julianna in the beginning were asshole-ish and I think he lacked remorse then.
I loved that it was based on classical tragic tales. I Loved how Julianna explored the palace? were Killian took her to. In the time he left her she got to solve a love story that was similar to hers, one that has been hidden in between the walls of the house for such a long time.

Killian and Julianna were arranged by their parents to marry each other. After Gracelynn Julianna her sister, the one who was actually supposed to marry Killian died in a brutal car accident.

“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you,to break you... and to hate you for the rest of our days."

I know he was sad which makes sense since the love of his life died, but this didn't give him the right to treat Julliana the way he did.
After this tragedy I feel like he was way too harsh with her and acted ruthless towards her. She also lost someone that night… Her sister Gracelynn. Apart from that she was already drowning herself in self loathing and stuck herself in a never ending misery. Julianna's past tormented her.

“You seem to forget that every time. You. Are. Not. The. Only. One. Who. Is. Suffering. I miss her to. I loved her too. And yes, I hate myself too. More than you can ever hate me. So no, your anger and your hatred does nothing to me.”

Moreover, there were so many plot twists in the story that shocked me. Although some were a little messy, but I still liked it.

So this still gets the full 5 stars, 1. because it's the book that made me fall in love with reading and 2, i actually enjoyed this lovers to enemies to lovers trope.

I loved every word of this book, can´t wait to read another book of Lylah!

“𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙅𝙪𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖?˝
˝𝙍𝙚𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮˝

[Jade Violet]

It is so on!

It is here, live!



Bring me something HOT and preferably with a major asshole.

[juli✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

✰ 3 'Beasty' Stars ✰

I killed his love and he wanted vengeance.

-ˏˋ Take 30 Million and a Half ˎˊ-


This review has taken me an absurdly long amount of time to write. I have been trying to review A Vow of Hate for almost a month. I'm in this weird conundrum where I have so much to say while at the same time I have very little to say. On the one hand I have to, nay, I need to convey how laughably dramatic and overly serious this book was. It was so dramatic that the title of this book should've been A VOW OF DRAMA & MARTYRDOM , because WOW, these characters turned EVERYTHING up to an 11. But, on the flip side, I'm ready to move on from this book because there are other books that I've read/want to review. So, if this review is trash that's the reason, I deeply apologize in advance.


-ˏˋ The Plot ˎˊ-


Hm, where to begin. Well, A VOW OF DRAMA & MARTYRDOM , focuses on two of the most dramatic people ever to exist, Julianna and Killian. Killian is one of the most overdramatic motherf*ckers I've ever had the pleasure of reading about. My man marries the sister of his dead lover because. . .revenge?? And I mean he is just the best husband you guys, he constantly makes fun of his wife's facial scarring, degrades her every chance he gets, and generally relishes in making her miserable. Soooo, basically, he's a major catch ladies. Not to be outshone, we have Julianna. Julianna, oops I'm sorry Beasty (as Killian so lovingly calls her), is the biggest martyr since Joan of Arc. She thinks it's her duty to lay down and allow Killian to wipe his damn boots on her. Oh, and just to spice things up she constantly lies to Killian's face because. . .guilt? Also, there's a last minute kidnapping, because again, ✨d r a m a✨


-ˏˋ So Bad Its Good ˎˊ-


✦✧ Character Spotlight - Killian Spencer ✦✧

Killian, Killian, Killian. I have a question for you, what the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, what is your damage? Who marries their dead fiancé's sister only to turn around and treat that sister worse than one treats a garbage can? Let's see if we can follow this mans logic, his soon to be bride is killed, he gets consumed by grief, decides to marry the sister responsible for the accident, thinks the best way to heal is to treat her like gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe, and refuses to EVER, apologize.

“Listen to me very carefully. You will marry me; you will pay for your sins and you will die at my hands.”

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Killian Spencer, is a true prince among men ✨ Now before you guys accuse me of being a touch hypocritical, hear me out. While I greatly enjoy what I aptly named "the husband grovel party", it only works if said shitty husband G-R-O-V-E-L-S. If he doesn't actually grovel then. . .what is the point? And that right there my dear friends, was my problem. Killian is a mopey, grieving, brooding, hot mess of a man with a vicious mean streak, which I wouldn't have even minded if he had actually redeemed himself. In reality he never apologizes to Julianna in a meaningful way, and it honestly appears as though he caught a touch of amnesia, because my mans never addresses the fact that he treated Julianna like spoiled milk. I mean this is what his overdramatic ass said to Julianna at their wedding ceremony -

“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you, to break you… and to hate you for the rest of our days. I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain in your story.” “In health and in sickness, through sorrow and pain, for all the days in my life, I will be your worst nightmare.” “Till death do us part…”

Oh for the love of all that's good and holy, just get some therapy Killian. It probably would've been way less stressful and much more rejuvenating.


✦✧ Character Spotlight - Julianna Romano ✦✧

If Killian was constantly overdramatic then Julianna was on a whole other level. Not only did she make everything as dramatic as possible, but she had an insane martyr complex. I could sit here and wax poetic about Julianna and the levels of intense martyrdom she reached, but instead I think I'll let the woman herself explain -

I should pay for my sin. I should suffer. I should die at his hands. It was his right. After all, I killed his heart.

This quote fully epitomizes Julianna as a character, and captures what her mindset was like for almost the entire book. While she did stand up to Killian occasionally, in the end she thinks she deserved the shit he threw at her, which - ughhhhhhhh *takes a deep ass breath*. Julianna, honey, therapy is the better and much more revitalizing option.


✧ UGH, That Plot-Twist ✧ Within the first few pages of this book I knew, I freaking knew, there was going to be some sort of plot-twist involving the sisters. Personally, my vote was for Gracelynn actually being alive in a coma somewhere, but alas. No, what really happened was, and you might want to take a seat for this, Julianna, Beasty, our sweet summer child, was lying to Killian about her identity, the. entire. damn. time. That's right, the Gracelynn who died? She wasn't the Gracelynn Killian fell in love with, nope, Julianna and Killian actually did fall in love, but because Julianna was 17 when they first met she lied and told Killian that her name was Gracelynn.

If you're thinking to yourself, "well that's fucking pointless and stupid", then welcome to my world. This plot-twist means two things. First, it means that Killian, dumbass that he is, never saw a family photo of Gracelynn and Julianna. And it means that he straight up never saw a photo of the "real" Gracelynn. This makes zero, Z E R O, sense to me. Typically traditional funerals in the United States have giant ass pictures of the person who is recently deceased. SOOOoooOOOO, unless Killian didn't go to Gracelynn's funeral (which i'm 95% sure he did) he would've seen her photo. I guess Killian is just stupid. Secondly, the plot-twist not only makes Julianna seem like a delusional idiot, but it also makes the shit Killian did to her 10x more fucked up. I think the worst (and grossest) thing he did to Julianna was this -

“My fingers were just inside another woman. Her cunt juices are now smeared all over yours. I’m not a loyal man, Beasty, but by letting me touch you… you just downgraded yourself to a common whore,” he rasped, repeating the words I had said to him.

*makes retching noises* I - hold on a minute - 🤢🤮

As I've said, isn't Killian Spencer a motherfucking Prince among men✨ That plot-twist just puts an even uglier spin on so many of this couple's interactions -

“You’ll kill another innocent life because of your selfish needs?” Killian sneered.
I laughed bitterly. “No, I will save my baby from having to have a monster as a father.”

Like, wtf. They got to such a toxic place, and the whole time, Julianna was unnecessarily taking Killian's shit because she thought that she killed her sister. Julianna, Honey, Sweets, Babe, therapy is much much easier on the soul. Ultimately, I do think the "big reveal" matches the tone that A VOW OF DRAMA & MARTYRDOM set. BUT, but, to me, the plot-twist landed like a dead weight (that slowly began to sink) once I realized that Killian was going to take zero responsibility for the way in which he treated Julianna.

“There’s a fine line between love and hate. And I just realized that I love you as much as I fucking hate you, Julianna.”

Like, BRO, you have no right to "declare your love" when you've been treating her horribly for months, months. While yes, I thought it was really fucking dumb and cruel that Julianna lied to Killian -

“Don’t you get it, Killian? I didn’t want a happily ever after with you. Not after what happened. Not after my sister… I couldn’t.”

I get why she did it. I understand where she was coming from in a very roundabout way. What I don't get is how Killian could lay all the blame at Julianna's feet. Maybe if he treated Julianna decently before the truth was revealed she would've come clean. This book would be atrocious upon a re-read because you realize that Killian is treating the supposed love of his life like dirt. Essentially, I needed some good, no, spectacular groveling, and I just didn't get that. Oh wait, no I got it, I just got it from the wrong person. Also, even after Julianna tells him the truth she STILL takes his shit -

“You.” Thrust. “Drive. Thrust. “Me.” Thrust. “Absolutely.” Thrust. “Insane.”
“Do you hate me?” I whimpered.
“Yes,” he snarled.
“Hate is better than nothing [. . .]”

. . .🙄 ✨. . .

-ˏˋ The Bad Bad ˎˊ-


✧ Oh, he's "The Villain". . .really ✧ Due to this book needing a shot of drama every 5 seconds we as the readers don't just get to sit with the "big twist". I think the book really could've ended up a lot better if Julianna and Killian had had time to process all the pain and hurt they caused each other. Instead, we get the big reveal, then BOOM, the other plot-twist is presented.

“It wasn’t my fault,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “The accident… I wasn’t drunk that night. It wasn’t my fault.”

*big giant sigh*, ughhhh. . .*cracks knuckles* okay. wow. okay. SO, not only is the first plot-twist stupid (it sorta makes sense but is still stupid), but the second plot-twist causes the first to be even MORE nonsensical. As Julianna eloquently realizes -

“It wasn’t my fault,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “The accident… I wasn’t drunk that night. It wasn’t my fault.” [. . .] The harsh realization was that… for three years, I bore the heavy burden of guilt and allowed it to stain my life because I thought I was the culprit – the one who killed my sister.

THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE. Dumbass put herself through all of that pain, guilt, and agony for what? FOR NOTHING. wtf. Why. whhhhhhhhhhhy. *screams into the void* I - I don't even. . .why should i care anymore. Truly, why should I care about these overdramatic idiots? Oh I know, it's because their love is tOxIc bUt bEaUtIfUl✨

“My love is toxic,” I said, my voice groggy and thick with emotion.
“It’s fucking poison,” he agreed [. . .]
I found both my redemption and salvation on his lips.

I - I can't with this fuckery, I need a drink.

Oh yeah, also the real villain was her dad. Good luck making that make sense. You're welcome.


✧ Is This Becoming a THING✧ There is a little trope that I'm noticing you guys. I'm noticing it and I don't like it. I like it even less than my most hated trope - spontaneously failing birth control. What makes this trope even worse is that it not only makes the heroine seem like an unbelievable doormat, but it also makes the hero seem like a borderline rapist and grade A asshole.

She was a virgin. Had been. Like me. Goddamn it. All this time… I thought… FUCK! [. . .] I was a goddamn virgin until tonight. I had fucked Julianna thinking she was already spoiled – not a virgin – that another man had already broke her in. Made the job easy for me. It would have made this less intimate, less meaningful. For both of us.
tbh, Killian being virgin too was random, but fun 🙈

I've personally named this trend the derp, i thought you were a vIrGiN trope. This "reveal"(?) has been popping up everywhere, and it never fails to piss me the fuck off. Personally, I think this is some authors way of throwing in dub-con without actually having to fully commit to including dub-con. In addition, it gives off some really icky messaging about virginity + its correlation to female worth. These heroes perceive the heroine not being a virgin to mean that they can be all kinds of rough and detached, because they're used. They aren't pure, and thus they don't deserve kindness and respect during sex. please excuse me while i barf. This is only reinforced when the hero thinks/says some version of, "omg your vagina is gushing blood, you must be virgin, my b". Right away he's apologetic, he slows down, he feels guilty, and he starts seriously listening to what the heroine has been saying. However, he should've been listening to what the heroine wanted the whole damn time.


-ˏˋ The Wrap-Up ˎˊ-


So, what did I think of A VOW OF MARTYRDOM & LIES ? In a word, entertaining. For the most part I was laughably exasperated with this book. Typically I don't go looking for romances that include a shit-ton of drama. Instead, the drama typically finds me. Even though this book wasn't at all what I was expecting I still had a ton of fun with it. The characters, plot, romance, and book as a whole were all so OTT that I couldn't help but keep reading. While there were a few aspects of the book that seriously pissed me off, for the most part, I was highly entertained. My advice? Don't go into this book expecting Oscar worthy drama, instead go in bracing yourself for B-tier soap opera shenanigans.

“We’re Julianna and Killian, and we deserve our happy ending" [. . .]

[vanessa ⋆.☕︎ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rating: 2 stars.
“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you, to break you… and to hate you for the rest of our days. I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain in your story.”
Okay, deep breath… because this book drained me. A Vow of Hate had everything that could’ve made it an intense, emotional enemies to lovers masterpiece, but instead, it was just exhausting 😩 I went in hoping for angst, heartbreak, slow-burn tension, and maybe a little healing love story, but what I got was pain, confusion, and two characters I couldn’t stand for the life of me.


ˋ°•*⁀➷ The Characters:
“Why… why do your eyes look so much like hers? It fucking haunts me,”
Okay, I’m sorry, but I cannot with these characters 😭 Like genuinely, I tried, I gave them so many chances to redeem themselves, but nope. Every single time they opened their mouths or made a decision, I was this close 🤏 to throwing the book across the room.

Let’s start with Killian, because oh my god. This man is the definition of emotionally constipated. He’s supposed to be dark and brooding and mysterious, but he just comes off as cruel, cold, and plain unbearable. There’s a difference between being a broken man with a tragic backstory and being an absolute jerk for no reason, and he completely missed the line 😭 Like, how am I supposed to root for someone who treats everyone like dirt and calls it pain or revenge? Sir, please go to therapy.

And Julianna… I wanted to love her, I really did. She’s been through so much and had all the potential to be this strong, healing, resilient character. But instead, she just kept letting people walk all over her. Every time she had a chance to stand up for herself, she’d fold, forgive, or act like she was the problem. Girl, no. I needed her to snap, to scream, to do something! 😩 Instead, she just cried, suffered, and accepted the bare minimum from everyone, and I was losing my mind.

Together? Don’t even get me started. Their relationship was supposed to be enemies to lovers, but it honestly just felt like trauma to tolerance. There was no spark, no build-up, no chemistry, just pain on top of pain, and somehow we’re supposed to believe it’s love? Be for real 😭 I wanted tension, banter, slow-burn fire… and instead, I got emotional damage and confusion.



“Love can kill while still keeping you alive to feel it. How deadly it is, how painful, how cruel.”
And don’t even get me started on the pacing 😩 Some chapters were so drawn out, and others just zoomed through major moments. The ending tried to wrap things up nicely, but it honestly felt like it came out of nowhere. I wanted a bit more closure, more heart, something to make all that pain and tension worth it.

By the end, I didn’t care if they made up, made out, or burned the mansion down, I just wanted out 😭 The characters drained me more than any tragic plot ever could. So yeah… no. 2 stars for effort, but character-wise? A solid zero. I need to detox after this one 💀
I was just tired. The plot dragged, the dialogue felt repetitive, and the supposed big emotional moments didn’t even make me blink. The writing itself wasn’t bad, I’ll give Lylah that, she knows how to set a mood, but the characters completely ruined the experience for me.


I wanted enemies to lovers, but I got enemies to emotional torture instead.


── .✦

༉‧₊🕯️🖤❀༉ Okay, so I wanted to dive into a dark romance for a change, you know, spice up my reading journey a little. And here I am, about to read this book because my sweetest bestie Nerlie💕 reached out and asked me to buddy read it with her. And honestly, who am I to say no?
I’m so excited (and maybe a little scared lol), but here’s to hoping we both enjoy it together! xx

[Bella - · Rating 5 out of 5]

It would have been easy to say that Killian was the villain.
I was the villain in this messy fairy tale.
“I will break you, Julianna Romano.”
You can’t break what’s already broken.

“I hate you but I crave you. I hate you but I need you.”
“Hate is too simple a word to describe what we have, what I feel for you. It’s not hatred... It’s so much more. It’s chaos”

“You’ve dug yourself under my skin, into my bones. You fucking stabbed me in the chest, I’m bleeding for you... You kill me and I still fucking need you like I need my next breath. I need you as much as I want to destroy you. How is that possible?”

INTRO



How was it possible to love and hate a person with the same passion?

This is the first book that I read and finished on its publishing date.

I have waited too long for this book...

too long

Yes, I loved it... but It wasn't exactly what I expected or wanted.

“Stop. Playing. The. Martyr.”

FOOTNOTES

◆My biggest hesitation about this book was the dead sister ex trope. I can gladly say that the sister bound is still sacred and protected. But It was still too painful to read about. This bond is what matters to me the most. And seeing Julianna’s mourning hurt me so much. I felt her pain completely… I could relate to her suffer and even to her self-destructive punishment… How can a person live fully when she believes she is responsible for her sister's death?

◆How come the two virgins have this porn-perfect first sex? I wonder…

◆Julianna's love for ancient castles, history, and Wuthering Heights... how can I not love her. She was depressive, melancholic, hopeless romantic… Better later than never, She did fight back too!

◆Killian is mean and hurtful but I can’t lie I was expecting him to be darker and more vicious… He acted so shittily and terrible towards Julianna. Maybe he was grieving and he was in sorrow - I must say I felt his despair - BUT It didn't give him any right to act that way. However, he found his way at some point. He got his act together and honestly, I loved him too! (Plus I have seen worse men, maybe this is why I am so easily charmed.)

◆I love Cerebrus and Ragna - I guess in every book, animals are the characters I love the most.

Cerberus was black and stubborn. Grumpy and unpredictable. Ragna was white and soft. Friendly and teasing. Complete opposites, the perfect yin and yang.

◆Repetition is bothersome, some conversations were given over and over again...

◆At some point, I wondered If it would’ve been more exciting to read Arabella’s story instead…

◆I have a thing for hate-sex. I didn’t get what I truly wanted but I still got something so close to my wish. I always love Lylah James' steamy scenes.

“I was just all up in your cunt twenty minutes ago. You were screaming my name and practically begging me to fuck you harder and now you’re asking for a handshake?”
...
“Hi,” I said, my eyes darting to my out-stretched hand and back to his dark gaze. “I’m Julianna. Nice to meet you.”
“Did I just fuck you into insanity?”
“Your assholeness has no limits.”
...
“What are you doing, Julianna?”
“Re-writing our story.”

WHAT did I expect? │ WHAT did I get?

I was expecting a dark angsty read that includes H mistreating h so badly but after realizing his mistake H begins to grovel. Honestly, something like a darker version of the Unwanted Wife.

Well, unfortunately, It wasn’t quite like that...

H mistreated h so badly(check), but h wasn't so innocent. h groveled, H was sad and angry.

I wanted him to be sorry, but I wanted her to be sorry too… At least she tried/ sincerely apologized.

BUT how could they forgive in the end, what changed in between exactly? I guess I missed that part!
I mean she did something terribly bad and stupid (I partly understand her reasoning), on the other hand, what about Killian? She is the sister of your beloved love, man? How can you treat her this way? One more time your beloved’s sister? Sorry but I question your love, brother... And also dear Julianna, you see it's not only self-punishment anymore when you also start to hurt someone you love so deeply...

And this brings me to

I couldn't exactly feel the pure love between Julianna & Killian. Where was this BIG LOVE? WHERE? I couldn't really see it. Don't get me wrong it's there, but it's not enough. Not so big as it claimed to be!

“Why do you have to act like an asshole, all the time?”
“It’s part of my charm,” he drawled.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t find it charming at all.”


I cried out and my inner walls spasmed as he seated himself fully inside my pussy, buried to the hilt. “You.” Thrust. “Drive. Thrust. “Me.” Thrust. “Absolutely.” Thrust. “Insane.” “Do you hate me?” I whimpered. “Yes,” he snarled. “Hate is better than nothing.”

OVERALL

♫Billie Eilish, ROSALÍA - Lo Vas A Olvidar
Abel Korzeniowski - Dance for Me Wallis
Ludovico Einaudi - Experience♫

My rating System specifically for this book:



◆The story was so promising, it could’ve been a perfect 5 Star read, but well unfortunately it is not.

◆Yet with every negative thought of mine, I still want to vote high and I secretly want this book to have praise. I guess I am a loyal softie. I wanted to love this book so much that I can’t reverse this high feeling anymore.

◆4,2 + 0,3 (I am aware that I am not acting so objective, but I have waited too long, I guess I was supposed to love this book, and there was no other way, so 0,3 points are only here to round it to 5) This also means, my vote can change time to time… I haven't made my mind so clear yet. Why am I so indecisive anyway?

Perhaps in another lifetime…
We would have been just Killian and Julianna – without a past to hold us back. Without tragedy in our veins.

Closure

◆I loved this book, not the way I hoped I would, but enough to tell that I loved it truly. I am partly satisfied.

◆I can’t say that the twists make perfect sense overall, but I liked how they were processed… This is the same thing about the story. I loved it but It wasn’t the most perfect plot.

◆I love Lylah James and her writing. It is extremely lovely and lyrical. I love how she offers romance! It affects me deeply. It hurts and heals in a way.

◆There were too many twists and I kinda guessed them very early on, it’s not that because they were so easy to solve but it's not my first time reading Lylah James, and at this point, I am able to tell which part she will take next. Although guessing the twists wasn't really bothersome for me, I love making right guesses and as I said before I don't think they were so obvious. (Not all of them at least)

◆Lylah James loves the drama that I love. And when I say the drama I mean the real drama. This book is over-dramatic. If you are familiar with Telenovelas, soap operas, and If you love them. It might satisfy you too.

Little Hint: It even includes the -I’d take a bullet for you- drama!



◆How can I tell this? Do you remember the old movie maker program from years ago? It was the most basic movie edition program, the program was so dysfunctional that you couldn’t add any smooth passages between the scenes. It was like a scene and a sharp cut and a scene... This book felt like that to me. One thing revealed BAM new scene opened, the crossing wasn't homogenous. Once again, It was so promising, It just couldn't entirely give what it promised.

◆But the ending melted my heart. It was like seeing the sun after having dark weather for so many days. I loved it. I wish Killian and Julianna all my love and all the happiness. You dealt with so much, loves, you deserve your happy endings!

This wasn’t a pretty fairy tale.
Our love story was messy and flawed – a twisted tale.
But it was perfect in the most imperfect way.

[niteskycs · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars


𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐢 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 ...
okay so this book did not work for me. like at ALL. from the plot which was all over the place, and the whole idea of him being in love with her sister (which we later find out is not the case at all), right down to the characters of julianna and killian themselves. killian is presented as this rich and powerful alpha male lead and i just found him to lack any sort of aura or presence. he was so caught up in making julianna pay for the death of the "love of his life" that it stripped him of any other personality, and this is the man i'm supposed to believe is the future president of the united states?

then we have julianna who i initially did feel very bad for. i mean this girl is epileptic, has always been in the shadow of older sister, has immense guilt over death of said sister, her face is scarred from the accident, and she was in a wheelchair for 2 years. on top of that killian, her new husband, calls her "beasty" because of her scars and belittles and degrades her at every turn. she really can't catch a break. but then you get more insight into the backstory and as the book goes on, she started grating on my nerves with her extreme reactions to everything.

𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 "𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬"
two of the major plot twists revolve around grace (the dead sister). the first is that we find out grace was never in love with killian and instead, was in love with a man named simon whose child she was pregnant with. the second is that the woman killian was in love with all along and whose death he was mourning was always julianna. turns out julianna had told him her name was grace when they first met and so he's believed this whole time that the girl he loves was grace when it was his wife all along with a false name.

this makes no sense to me. how can he claim that grace is the love of his life when all it takes a change of hair colour and a black veil to fool him into thinking his grace and julianna are two different people ??? also, this means the man really is fickle lol. he said he would never move on from "grace" and yet is in lust with julianna well before the reveal.

the other plot twists are actually plot-related and not related to this pseudo love triangle and they were absolutely ridiculous as well. the assassins as well as the gun fight and kidnapping plot thrown in last minute turned this into even more of a soap opera and there was just too much going on at the end.

𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬
look, i have no issues with reading books that are over the top and overly dramatic. some of my favourite books are harlequins which are the poster children of soap opera plots and over the top characters. but if you're going to write a messy book at least make it 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜. a book can be messy and still have a basic structure and make sense, but here nothing made sense for me personally, from the characters and their motivations to the actual plot.

still, i do love the aesthetic and the gothic vibes of the manor which warrant a star from me. another star simply because i managed to finish this book and it at least elicited some type of emotions from me.

↬ a couple reviews have mentioned this book has similar vibes to "the villain" and "the kiss thief" and i agree in terms of aesthetic which is one of the things i do actually like about avoh. the epilogue was pretty much exactly the same as the villain's epilogue but it doesn't quite fit for the characters here. so much of this book was about grace and her relationship with julianna, it would have made so much more sense for them to have a daughter and honour grace's memory and it would have felt like things came full circle for the readers as well as julianna and provide a nice sense of closure.


➣ 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙧: i honestly think people who are fans of lylah and her previous works might really enjoy this book, unfortunately her writing style is really not for me. i dnf'ed her mafia series as well as the do you dare duet. however, the blurb and concept of this book really caught my eye when she initially began teasing it. this has so many of my favourite tropes: arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, cold/asshole hero, and angst. then we're told it's dead sister's ex trope and my excitement plummeted but i still wanted to give this a chance and yeah ... i should have known better.

𝙖𝙧𝙘 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬

[benevolent bastard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found myself getting tired of reading them going around in circles being elusive. “I hate you” “you’re maddening” “this is my atonement”. Okay. Over it. Only to have the next page reveal stuff to make my head spin.

[Birjis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I cannot turn away from books with vengeful heroes. They make a lot of drama, actions irredeemable and romance unapologetically sinful. A Vow of Hate is exceptionally done in romance and writing department. The villain of the story was unsuspected but I didn't like how it was potrayed. The secrets and manipulative twists of the story was messed up. The author gave her full effort but it wasn't attention grabbing although all the tropes of this book is what I like to read.

'I killed his love and he wanted vengeance.'

Julianna Romano is in search of attonement, a perchance to punish herself for killing her dearest sister. Already the least favoured by her father, handicapped and mocked Julianna is pushed to marry her sisters fiancé.

'...she didn’t realize that she was stuck here, on this island, and this was my kingdom but she wasn’t the queen.'

Killian Spencer is a two version man: nice and vindictive, it is better to never be on his bad side. Killian was sweetness until the love of his life's death and the murderer being her sister Killian wants to make her suffer.

“There we go,” she snapped, waving a hand between us. “Asshole Killian is at it again. I almost missed him.”
“I knew you’d choose asshole Killian over the gentleman. You really do have a penchant for pain,” I drawled.
“And you really need to take that stick out of your ass.”
“Feeling quite bold today, aren’t you?”
Julianna sighed. “Civil and in love,” she reminded us, her voice softening.
“Civil and in love,” I agreed.

Their marriage was a disaster from the beginning. Julianna is guilty and Killian is angry. He spares nothing to demean and hurt Julianna. At a point they come to an understanding to be civil for the sake of gaining their own means until the past makes it's presence.
The whole book went about vengence, atonement and the toxicity their relationship was. Dreadfully annoying when Julianna talks about punishing herself.

'Killian’s hatred for me was unstrained… boundless…it was a never-ending calamity of soul-wrenching malice and rage.
Loving Killian Spencer was a death sentence. What we had, it was a catastrophe in the making.
It wasn’t like I expected a happy ending, anyway.
I didn’t deserve a happy ending. I was the villain, after all.'

Surprisingly, I didn't think Julianna was moping about her guilt but it felt like complaining about something repeatedly. I don't enjoy flashbacks but here I like it particularly when the plot was slowly revealing itself. This book has so much potential and it needs a little more work.

[Nerlie౨ৎ🎧📚 · Rating 3 out of 5]

⋆˚࿔ review 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
2.5⭐️

I’m sorry, but I hated both of them. Deeply. Passionately. They annoyed me on a spiritual level.

Killian was the human embodiment of a migraine. Cruel for absolutely no reason, just casually dishing out emotional damage like it’s his 9-to-5. And for what? His trauma? Cool, but maybe develop a personality while you’re at it. Because this man? Gave brick wall. With unresolved trauma. And a superiority complex. Not even the charming type. The type you hope steps on a LEGO barefoot at 3AM.

And Julianna? Oh my god. I wanted to launch her into space and cut the cord. She was so painfully meek, it physically hurt. Every time she justified his behavior, I felt my brain rot just a little more. Girl, STAND UP. Actually no, walk away. Her inner monologue drained me, her choices made me question humanity, and she danced around confrontation like it was the plague.

The secret? Dragged out like a telenovela plotline from 2003. I was so checked out by the time the “reveal” happened. All that drama for… what? Be serious. And don’t even get me started on the logic of it all. The veil thing? I’m sorry, was it a sheer curtain? Was she hidden behind a linen bedsheet??

I genuinely don’t think these two should even be together. It’s giving trauma-bonding with a side of delulu. But maybe it’s better they stay together—they’ll save the rest of us from their nonsense. Let them be awful together, far away from me.

Now, to be fair, the plot? Messy. Entertaining. Like a car crash I couldn’t stop watching. So yes, it had me morbidly invested. That’s why it gets a 2.5 instead of something lower. I love a good train wreck 😝



︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ pre read ⋆. 𐙚 ˚
BR with Vanessa💕
This book better be good, I paid for it 😭(it’s not on KU)

[Antonella · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm exhausted after reading this..
Now, I don't need linear writing to make sense of the plotline but I don't also need this jumping around with the story.

* the plot twist
* the dialogue
* the characters
* the writing




and that veil thing

[Hiba ✰ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Desperately waiting for this book!!
Can’t wait to meet killian and julianna 😌🖤🖤

–
This book was a disappointment. I do not even know what to write. I gave this book two stars bc I love Lylah James & the middle of the book was sort of interesting.😭😖

[Tamara · Rating 1 out of 5]

EDIT: DNF it. Spoilers ahead:
It was bad y'all. It was extremely bad. I don't know how to explain but I just couldn't read this. I knew the tropes but the author said that we have to wait to read it before judging it and maybe I'm wrong and I should have continued but I can't do this.
This book follows Julianna and Killian Spencer. The first chapter introduces us to Julianna because she just got into a car accident and she lost her sister Gracelynn. She is grieving, she is lost and she is dealing with the aftermath of losing her sister and being on a wheelchair while covering her face because it's scarred. Then she meets Killian again because he was supposed to marry Gracelynn and now he has to marry her instead. I thought maybe Killian wasn't into Gracelynn. Maybe it was all an arranged marriage and he was only invested because of political and family stuff. But the twist became really predictable by chapter 9 of the book. Julianna was practically giving it away and if the main plot is supposed to be a mystery i don't understand why it's that obvious in the early chapters. And why the big revelation feels super flat in comparison because if course you could see it coming from miles away.
On top of that he was cruel and vicious. He calls her beasty because her face is scarred after the accident and she used to be beautiful but now she is not and he has to remind her. In their wedding the Priest is reading the vows and he is basically telling her how much he hates her and that he swears he is gonna end and destroy her for killing Gracelyn. After that, he leaves her at the altar without kissing her and in front of everyone. So his vows are:
I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you, to break you...and to hate you for the rest of our days. I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain of your story. In health and in sickness , through sorrow and pain, for all the days in life, I will be your worst nightmare
Am I supposed to believe this is real? If my husband says that to me in front of a priest, I would burst into laughs. I'm sorry but it was ridiculous. Killian was suppossed to be an asshole but this is straight being stupid.
The big plot-twist... I mean seriously? What was that? I have no words people. For some reason Killian felt like a cheap version of Wolfe from The Kiss Thief. He is also supposed to be president of America, he is ruthless, cold and a lot of his personality felt kind of similar to him. He is just an average I-hate-this-woman kind of guy. Julianna was okay but she was too much at some points and I had to dnf it because the whole book felt useless after finding out the big revelation which brings me to the misscomunication part. This book would have ended in chapter 9 if juliana would have said the truth. Hiding that was so weird and strange I don't understand the reason. It was a mess.
Also the writing was bad. That's all
Update, January 20:
So before i read this book (not sure this is going to be published tomorrow but anyways) I'm going to express my disappointment in the lack of professionalism by Lylah James and her PR company
Candi Kane PR. Buckle up because this isn't going to be pretty.
Now, I usually understand writers especially with this pandemic. Everyone is drained, books are not working, there are delays and we are just wandering here. Now, I understand this things happened, but us arc readers are dealing with the same feelings. Cora Reilly and Danielle Lori are always delaying books after promising release dates. It's not a secret that the later postponed the release of The Darkest Temptation several times, but in the end she learned her lesson and didn't announce an exact date just in case. This brings me back to the lack of professionalism, respect and transparency from both this author and her PR company. So let's sum up things:
Originally this book was supposed to came out on the 15 of December but we all know there were some banging releases during that month and the author wanted to make it longer so here you can see her statement:
I've got good and bad news! Maybe I should just jump right into the bad news. A VOW OF HATE will not be published on December 15th, as originally scheduled. I'm still writing the book because guess what? IT'S LONG! I'm adding about 25k words more than expected. I didn't plan for this to happen, but Killian and Julianna have a whole lot to say and a lot of shit to go through. I'm only pushing the release date by two weeks! I'll announce the new release date on FRIDAY

Cool. I totally understand the book is going to be longer and we'll have to wait, and I'm totally okay with waiting for months even if it's necessary for the story and for the sake of the author's.
Now, she announced a NEW RELEASE DATE for January 5. Cool, everything is going well. She started doing a countdown on her instagram and arcs were supposed to go out on January 1 or 3 at least. As I was saying the author was posting daily instagram stories announcing how many days were left to publish the book and answering about arcs. Now the next day, (3 days before the release date maybe 5 i'm not sure, she posted a long ass statement saying she couldn't submit the draft to amazon and they will ban her for not doing it:
I'm supposed to have AVOH uploaded on amazon tomorrow and sadly, I won't be able to make it on time. Therefore, to make sure I'm not rushing myself, my editor the amazing @fairestreviews and so I don't end up getting in trouble with amazon, I'm pushing the release date by a few days. (Authors have been having some issues with amazon lately when it comes to preorders)

In a few hours, the new pre-order date on amazon will say January 22nd BUT that's not the actual release date. AVOH will be released BEFORE January 15th, that's for sure!

First of all: amazon is a big company that has customers behind, paying for your books. If you don't give them the material they can get complains from their customers, asking what is happening with their pre-orders, asking for re-funds or wondering what is amazon doing. Amazon doesn't ban anyone without a reason. If you compromised yourself to update the draf so they could get YOUR BOOK ready and you can't do it (for the second time), amazon is going to stop doing it because there is a thing called customers and let me tell you, they are ruthless. Now, I know there's a lot of controversy surrounding amazon but I mean, can we blame them for this? Of course not. At this point after being delayed for the second time I was like okay, FINE. Things happened. The book is not ready, she needs to polish it, everything is fine. We can wait. Which brings me to the next point of her OWN statement:
In a few hours, the new pre-order date on amazon will say January 22nd BUT that's not the actual release date. AVOH will be released BEFORE January 15th, that's for sure!
The book will be released BEFORE january 15th, THAT'S FOR SURE. Her own words. So again everyone was expecting it to be a live release and had it before the 15. At this point we were all wondering, what about the arcs? When are they coming out? Can we have a schedule so we can organize our reads and be ready to drop everything to read this book?. So of course, she has a PR company and that's what they said:
Vow of Hate by Lylah James will not release January 5th!!! We are hoping to send out arcs around January 7th. Release day will be about a week later, but it’s not firmly set as of now.
No need to say the arcs never came out, and the PR company went AWOL and started ignoring the emails regarding this release. Nice. Really professional to tell your readers about arcs and then not answering their questions.
So this book was supposed to be out before the 15 th, THAT'S FOR SURE. But we have more news people. The 15 came and the book was not released. No news. The author was gone. The PR Company didn't answer emails or instagram questions. Nothing, NADA.
And then she posted this:
A VOW OF HATE IS COMING SO SOON!! ARCs will go out some time next week... that means, the release will be VERY soon after that. I'll announce an exact release date on Tuesday 🖤
So I hate to break it to y'all but the announcement didn't come on Tuesday (are we surprised?). The next day we got this:
Hey, lovelies! I come bearing some good news!

I was supposed to make this announcement yesterday, but I have been sleeping through a terrible migraine for the last three days. I tried to edit AVOH through the headaches, but when it got worse, I knew I had to close my laptop when my eyes started twitching. Just have to wait for it to pass *shrugs* Anyone has any special remedy for migraines? Because I do try to stay away from painkillers.

Anyway, let's get into some good news. I have an official release date for AVOH. This time, it's set and OFFICIAL... as in it's impossible for me to even change the release date because Amazon won't allow me to, haha!

A VOW OF HATE is coming on Friday 22nd, as listed on the Amazon page (up for pre-order)

One - It gives ARC readers time to read and review the book.

Two - Amazon has locked me into this date and I can't push or bring the release up. So, it's set for January 22nd. There's no changing this date now.

Three - ARCs should go out by Monday, at the latest.
So as you can see, the ''official release date'' it's the original one she set for pre-orders. She promised it will be released, not only before the 22, but before the 15, and nothing. Silence and ignored messages it's what we all got regarding this book. But the fun didn't stop there. Today it's January 20. Two days ago, arcs were supposed to be out. On monday we didn't get them which is fine because COVID, final editings, etc... And yet, yesterday she told people arcs were coming in a few hours. The arcs are nowhere to be seen. As you can see, there's been a history of delays, fake promises, official release dates that never happened, arcs coming out on certain days, the author being gone, no answers from the PR company, absolute silence. This has been happening since December 10. 4 times. Readers waiting. Arcs being promised. Releases dates happening and then not happening. And we still don't know if this book it's coming out tomorrow. If you ask me I'm gonna say the book is not happening. If arcs aren't out and there's silence who am I supposed to believe this book it's released in less than 48 hours?. How am I going to sign up to promote a book whe I'm constantly being lied to my face?. And I know authors don't own us anything, life is difficult as it is and it's just an arc, but the lack of transparency, professionalism and decency from an author and her PR company shouldn't be overlooked. This should be a lesson for authors to stop lying to their readers.



This book keeps getting pushed back for no reason (apparently it’s not even done) and now it’s set for January 22. She says it will be here before January 15 but I’ll believe it when I’ll see it.
Not having much hope for this one and honestly announcing it’s being pushed back 6 days before release it’s something I’m not comfortable with as an arc reviewer so we’ll see. Don’t have much hope for the tropes either and the fact that he calls her beasty doesn’t sound promising but I’ll wait to read it. Again authors I understand it’s not easy but if you don’t have a book done and you don’t know when you will have it ready ✨ DONT ANNOUNCE A DATE✨. This happened twice and now I’m regretting signing up for an arc, bye

[Crystal (Crystalreads2) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars

A Vow Of Hate is at all of what I was expecting. It so much more. I have been counting down to the release date; I saw Controversy over the book and so many reviews. I regularly go in with an open mind and happy I read Killian and Julianna's journey.

Killian, oh how I love thee. I didn't always care for him. In the first half of the book, he is a complete Jerk (sometimes downright cruel) to Julianna as he is forced to marry her, a marriage contract between the two families. He only sees her as the person who killed his Fiancé. Julianna, sassy, broken, forgotten daughter with survivor's guilt and hiding so many secrets.

I want to ring both their necks at times. Killian for being cruel and Julianna for keeping secrets, which caused too much pain and heartache. This is a book I didn’t know I needed. Their story is tragic, chaotic, messy with love, suspense, and many twists. I saw one coming but one big one, I never saw happening,

Here is what I didn’t like. Repetition in every other chapter how their love story is tragic and Julianna is toxic. As much as I loved the book, some parts of the book needed a little more in-depth.

A Vow of Hate is the first book by this author, I am surprised and will read other books from her. If you like broody, handsome, broken assholes. Keep an open mind and dive in. All is not what it seems in this book.

[Nazanin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn. To hurt you, to break you… and to hate you for the rest of our days. I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain in your story.”
“In health and in sickness, through sorrow and pain, for all the days in my life, I will be your worst nightmare.”
“Till death do us part…”

Julianna & Killian’s marriage was Killian’s vengeance and their bond isn’t about love but hatred; his retaliation and her atonement.

Sacred vows, a broken past and a tarnished future.

Told in dual POV, 1st person, it’s a standalone novel. A Vow Of Hate is an arranged marriage romance with an enemies-to-lovers theme and full angsty. I liked both characters especially Killian, yes he was a total asshole but his hatred for Julianna felt real. He was grumpy and heartless. I liked Julianna for fighting back and giving him a piece of her mind. As for the twist, I knew what her secret was from the beginning and the story dragged a bit at some parts. Overall, it was an enjoyable read and hope you like it as well.

[❤️ Nanda ❤️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Edit To Come

Where do I start?
This book was postponed so many times, that created a lot of expectations with the waiting game.
I'm actually torn between 3 and 4 Stars, and I'll tell you why...

This book have an AMAZING plot!
The story itself is really incredible and original.
I didn't saw that plot twist coming, halfway into the the book, and I was like 😲😱🤯😥!
And then I was like YES, BITCH!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Finally something good!

Because before that plot twist (around 50% in the book), I wasn't enjoying it so much. I mean... It was a lot about grief and hate, and self-pitting or self-loathing. But it was a lot of the same things.
Like a lot of repetitive scenes, thoughts, actions and words... Literally wake up, hide your face, hate/pitty yourself, pet a horse, cry a little, eat dinner, sleep and repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

I'm not trying to be a bitch or harsh with my review... Again, this is a personal opinion, (and you definitely should read to get yours), but I saw so much potential in this story that it wasn't well developed, and so many things that it could have been cut in half, to not only maintain a fluid pace, but also to don't drag all that suffering and mourning and hate and pitty party... I mean I get it... Her sister died. She saw everything, she carried the survivor's guilt and she blamed herself. I get all of that. But it took half book into it, and it became tiring.

Also a few small (and not so small) details bugged me a little, but I won't spoil the story.

Back to the good parts, when Julianna wasn't an annoying mess, she was quite sassy and I loved her banter with Killian!

On the other hand, when Killian wasn't spitting hateful words and empty threats, he was quite a gentleman and a hot protector!

Together they were like fire and ice collapsing into a mess of steam, and I can say that they're perfect for each other!

The second half of the book was definitely my favorite! I love all the action and the twists and turns!
It saved the book for me!

[Mahima · Rating 2 out of 5]

WTAF?? What is wrong with the writer of this book? Was this kind of drama even required? I think it has wrongly fallen into a different genre.

The heroine is the biggest emotional mess I've ever read about. She literally HATES herself which I believe is the worst character about anyone.

The hero is very very cruel (atleast in the beginning) and most of the time he's just a victim in the hands of the heroine.
I actually feel pity on him. He mourned for the loss of his love for three freaking years when the love wasn't even died!!

Characters are the biggest hypocrites and straight away SELFISH (especial heroine).
She's self loathes and make everyone hate her that too by going out of her ways, which after some times look kiddish and attention seeking-ish.

Half if the book made sense the other half was hopeless, illogical completely over the top drama.


◾Drama, drama and more than required drama.
◾ Hateful, nonsensical characters
◾First half of the plot was good but then I saw the real colours of everything.
◾ Writing style was surprisingly really good.

[rach⭑ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25⭑

Lmao I first read this in 2021 and I’m laughing at my previous review!

This was so good!!!!!! I loved the two main characters even when he was being the worst person ever. Heheheh you should definitely read this 🤭



October 2021 Review;

3.5⭑

I really need to manage my expectations when reading mafia books. Lmao when there’s so much drama in a book, I start to not believe what I’m reading. And I think there was a bit too much drama in this for me to fully love this book.

I enjoyed the book and I liked both main characters but there were just too many plot twists that made me say ‘ugh not another one’. I especially like to see the connection of a plot twist coming and when it’s so completely random and out of the blue it just ruins it for me.

Anyway like I said this is a me problem. I’m only just starting to get into mafia books so will def manage my expectations more😅😅

[Lylah James]

I have an official release date for AVOH. This time, it's set and OFFICIAL... as in it's impossible for me to even change the release date because Amazon won't allow me to, haha!

A VOW OF HATE is coming on Friday 22nd, as listed on the Amazon page (up for pre-order).

One - It gives ARC readers time to read and review the book.

Two - Amazon has locked me into this date and I can't push or bring the release up. So, it's set for January 22nd. There's no changing this date now.

Three - ARCs should go out by Monday, at the latest.

To keep you going for another 7 days, here's a small excerpt! From Killian's POV!

“They will find your insecurities.” The warning in my voice might have caught her attention because I saw her shoulders pop back and she straightened in her seat. “They will drag your flaws from under your flesh and dig deep into your soul.”

“Like you do?” she shot back.

“You’re my wife,” I said blandly. “I can do whatever I want but I won’t give anyone else the opportunity to do the same.”

“So, you’ll protect me from the vultures?” And now she was mocking me. How brave of her.

“I’ll protect you from the vultures and once we are alone–”

Julianna cut me off. “You’ll go back to hating me, I know.”

I clucked my tongue at her, a grin spreading across my face. “Glad we’re on the same page, Beasty.”

“A protector with bitter words and a callous heart. I guess I can’t be too picky.”

“We’re married. It’s not like you have a choice anymore.”

👑PRE-ORDER:
getbook.at/AVowOfHate

[Ri · Rating 2 out of 5]

↝2.5 stars

--------------------------
Craving for something like this🖤

[Samantha (bookgramsaga reviews) · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️.5-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

''You can't break what's already broken''

Safety warnings:
- H 30 / h 21
- No cheating
- No OM drama
- Constant OW drama (it's the whole plot lol)
- Verbal abuse
- Self-harm
- Kidnapping/d*ath
- HEA

If you are deciding to read this, go in blind when it comes to the plot but keep the TW’s in mind.

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

I have a bit of a hard time really knowing how to rate this whole book. There were parts that were 3 stars then 3.5 then 4 then back to 3. I just had a hard time with the pacing too, they spent way too much doing nothing but sparring verbally and him threatening her every chance he got or hurting her (not physically) by his actions.

Tbh I knew the twist, I was sadly spoiled months ago so going into this I was just interested in understand HOW it all happened and most importantly WHY?

Was I satisfied with the answers? A little bit? I understood that she was a bit immature when she made the choice to lie to him about her name and keep him in the dark for months on end and ALSO keep him clueless after the accident. I didn't like how she didn't think of revealing the truth to him after 3 years! especially as she watched him suffer and moarn for someone who was not dead. She allowed the verbal abuse and constant punishment for something that could of been avoided....

The things she did to keep herself hidden. Hair color, voice change, the veil. It seemed unrealistic sometimes.

What did I enjoy? Waiting for the reveals to come to light for him. I wanted to see how he reacted and how he would move forward knowing the woman he loved and mourned for years was right in front of him. Did he grovel enough after all the shit he put her through? No. Should he grovel after finding out he was lied to? I don't know, that's a bit complicated since he was in a lot of pain and was married to who he believed killed the love of his life.

The sub plot about her dad wanting to kill her? WHAT? The fact he was behind the car accident that killed his actual daughter was crazy and the fact her sister was in love with another guy and was pregnant and that same guy attempted to kill Julianna after being manipulated by her dad? Double crazy.

Her dad was pure evil, and he killed his wife after her affair (she had an affair with her bodyguard which resulted in Julianna being born). That same bodyguard kept hoping to meet his daughter when he went into hiding after his loves murder and finally got to be reunited with Julianna.

There was a lot going on in the end and it wasn't fleshed out....we could of used some of the moments where she was recuperating from her seizure to bring the subplots out and nicely tie the bow since it was just dumped on us and I needed more lol

There was a lot that didn't work with this book and some parts were not required but I mostly enjoyed the mystery and the obvious sexual tension.

Did I mention he was a virgin and so was she? He vowed to himself to only be with the woman he LOVED after watching his parents battle for years in their hatred and infidelity. So, he then vowed to never be with anyone after his love died. That part was shocking to me, but I always like virgin MMC's, especially since they are rare.

[M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 – 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬."

Julianna Romano is just looking for ways to pay for her sins after the accident that took her sister's life and changed everything forever, spending years looking for ways to hurt, and marrying Killian Spencer is her greatest punishment.

If I'm being totally honest I wasn't really sure about this book, because of THAT trope that isn't one of my fav, but I'm happy I read it anyway. This was pure angst and pain from start to finish, and that's why I loved it so much.

↬ PLOT.

A marriage of convenience between enemies to lovers, kinda second chance romance. Was he really in love with the heroine's sister and now that she is dead is he marrying Julianna? NO! the blurb here was SO misleading and I almost didn't read this for the same reason because I don't really enjoy the dead sister trope. So no, I don't want to spoil this completely, but Killian never had any relationship with the dead sister, he barely met her once, and to him it was always Julianna.

There were also other subplots here, such as the heartbreak story of a couple in a haunted castle, the accident and also some death attempts. Overall, I liked the thing about the old letters and how Julianna saw herself a bit in that sad story, I also liked how everything about the accident came together at the end although I found it hardly credible that Killian didn't notice the secret that Jules was hiding... the power of the veil I call it. BUT the attacks and the kidnapping was a bit too much for me like, let these characters breathe... This was within a second of being a Mexican telenovela.

↬ CHARACTERS.

— I loved Julianna's character SO much, past and present. She was just looking for approval and affection, someone who would really see her. And although she seemed weak and vulnerable after the accident, resigned to her fate even, I liked that after the marriage she had the sass and strength to fight Killian back, and fight for what she wanted.

— As for Killian Spencer, he was an asshole looking for ways to hurt Julianna at every turn. Sometimes I wanted to strangle him, but I can't say I didn't understand where he was coming from; he truly lost the only person he had ever loved and mourned her for three years, only to find that it was all a lie, like... I think I'm gonna give him a free pass.

In short, I enjoyed this and I liked these characters, and now I want a novella. The writing was actually a bit repetitive -something that I had already noticed in other books by this author-, but I'm choosing to look elsewhere because it still kept me hooked from beginning to end. If you want an example of what you're gonna find here, it is as if "The Kiss Thief" and "The Villian" by LJ Shen had a child. That is AVOH.

ARC provided in exchange of an honest review.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/4 ⭐

RTC