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The Big Questions of Life

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Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. Loss is unavoidable; grief isn't. Death is certain. And life? Well, life isn't certain. Its uncertainty, unpredictability, even its irrationality, make it what it is. Often, we run blindly into fire, we step on snakes, we get entangled in snares - these are the fires of desire, the snakes of attachment, and the snares of jealousy and covetousness. If we are bitten, burnt and hurt, we call it suffering, and believe it to be the way of life, when, in fact, we are mistaking our pain for our suffering. We have little control over the former but the latter is almost entirely in our hands. We can take things in our stride or be tossed on the tide. All it takes is to be able to open our eyes. This choice, we must remember, is ours; always. Om Swami's new book marks the way to enlightenment through mindful thinking.

200 pages, Paperback

Published December 10, 2021

259 people are currently reading
6851 people want to read

About the author

Om Swami

42 books575 followers
Om Swami is a mystic who lives in the Himalayan foothills. Prior to renunciation, he founded and ran a multimillion-dollar software company with offices across the world.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
Profile Image for tanveer ⋆。✧.
172 reviews503 followers
October 9, 2023


‘decorate one’s inner house so richly that one is content there, glad to welcome anyone who wants to come and stay, but happy all the same when one is inevitably alone.’


4.75 ⭐ trust me when i say that i've practically highlighted every single page of this book lol! it's one of those reads that just brings me a sense of relief and calmness. i feel grounded and at peace with everything when i dive into its pages. it's the kind of book that you can read over and over again, and it's still worth every second of your time and effort. whenever i'm feeling hollow or empty, i always gravitate towards books like these. they provide me comfort and the much-needed reassurance that everything will be okay.

om swami brings attention to a range of significant matters and considerations that individuals encounter in their lives, encompassing pain, loneliness, and mindset. he skillfully employs anecdotes to illustrate these aspects and consistently emphasizes the importance of effectively addressing them. drawing inspiration from buddhism, om swami adeptly establishes a connection between these concepts and their relevance to our everyday existence.

what really struck me about this book were the short stories that were woven into each chapter. they were so touching and really helped to drive home the author's message.

if i had one criticism of this book, it would be that i wish there were more actionable items. while the author does offer plenty of opinions, suggestions, and ideas, i would have loved to see more concrete steps that readers could take to apply these teachings to their own lives.

also, i just wanted to give a shoutout to my awesome elder brother for recommending this amazing book to me! thank you so much, bro <3

some of my absolute fav quotes~

~samaya pāe phala hota hai samaya pāe jharī jāta, sadā rahe nahīṃ eka sī, kā Rahīma pachtaat.

-When the time comes, trees are laden with leaves and fruits, and then, with time, it sheds them. What are you brooding over, says Rahim, when all phases of life pass eventually.

~Pulitzer Prize-winning American writer Upton Sinclair once said, ‘It is dif icult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on not understanding it!’

~Separation from all that we love is not a question of ‘if’ but ‘when’. It’s inevitable, only a matter of time.

~Those who loved you deeply yesterday may loathe you tomorrow. The memories of the one who you loved deeply once, may only give you grief now.

~I’ve observed that the most common cause of grief is not people’s expectations from their relationships but generally the relationship itself.

~Freedom is not I-don’t-care-or-whatever-attitude. That’s ignorance. True freedom is I-know-what’s-at-stake-and-therefore-I’ll-act-accordingly

~ This world can of er you anything you fancy except permanence. Those who love you today, will grow out one day. No matter how stable and permanent anything may appear, it is going to wither away. Nothing here is designed to last.

~ The world will not remember us for what we kept to ourselves, but what we gave away. We will not be honoured for what we could have done, but what we did.

~ The quality of human bond is not based on how well two people fit together or just even fit in. Instead, it is how much space they give each other.



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pre- review

it doesn't have a specific subject but is a compilation of thought-provoking discourses that is divided into four categories - samsara, loneliness, self, and awakening - each section offers a unique perspective on the human experience.
Profile Image for Sudhir Waghmode.
29 reviews28 followers
June 28, 2020
This book doesn't have a particular subject, it is more a discourse compiled together under four (Samsara, Loneliness, Self, and Awakening) categories. The thing I like about these discourses is, every topic contains a simple story. He gives a lot of zen stories and I am a fan of such stories, they ridiculously simple with great depth. This book is like, just pick and read any topic at any time.
Note: Do not pick this book with the expectation to learn, understand some spiritual concepts, or just want to feel good or anything sort of like that. Just read for the sake of reading and it will hit you hard at right point.
3 reviews
April 30, 2021
One should read to understand how to go about life and it has answers to questions we all would have asked ourselves at some point in our lives
Profile Image for Anamcara(Kai's Version).
207 reviews1 follower
April 13, 2024
Highly recommend this book if you're going through any type of hardship. It's a short easy to read and understand book that explains why we go through certain things and how these things are meant to happen in our lives to mould us into what we're meant to be. Adversity helps us become the best version of ourselves and if we don't go through hard times, we cannot build character or remain humble once we do get what we want. It's a really really good book! Definitely going to read this one again 🖤!
Profile Image for Laxmi Duggirala.
30 reviews6 followers
April 28, 2020
This compilation of Om Swamiji’s posts is an inspiring and soul searching book.Filled with wisdom and deep insight, it is a joyful read. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who is aspiring for a meaningful life.
Profile Image for Presto.
118 reviews23 followers
November 13, 2022
Some good advice, lots of regurgitated ideas from Buddhism which are not practical, and some platitudes as well, as the common man can't simply sit and become a hermit and forget all the struggle and pain involved, the author is in fact pretty qualified on subjects of meditation and spiritual wisdom, his "Million thoughts" is one of the best books on a guided meditation, however, this one doesn't work as it tries to extrapolate an idea in all parts of life. If you are really looking for solid practical life philosophy I would recommend "Almanack of Naval Ravikant" anytime which has a modern take.
Profile Image for Wendy.
259 reviews5 followers
December 26, 2023
Recommended and loaned to me by a friend. I will be buying a copy of my own. So many passages seemed to be written to me and/or for me. My own copy will surely contain highlights and notes. There are words of wisdom in this book for anyone who is open to digging deeper into the how and why moments in life.
39 reviews
January 19, 2023
Wow. That’s about all I can or need to say about this book. Must read for anyone looking to better themselves and delve into life and it’s meaning and navigating.
Profile Image for Elton Stone.
36 reviews1 follower
September 17, 2025
A really insightful book, packed with wisdom on a wide range of topics but presented in a simple, digestible way. The format reads more like a collection of essays and reflections, with anecdotes woven through, rather than one continuous narrative. I found this worked well, as it made it easy to dip in and out while still taking away something valuable each time.
30 reviews2 followers
June 15, 2020
Nice one contemporary explanation of Bagwath Gita
Profile Image for Parth Bhatt.
54 reviews1 follower
June 12, 2020
One of the best books to read for understanding how to deal with life problems. This book is meant to be re read once in a year after its first reading. It can passed from one generation to another. Read it, dwell on it, implement the learnings. This book can be a life companion, simple in language but very deep meaning.
Profile Image for Jim Razinha.
1,536 reviews91 followers
December 31, 2024
Late last year my wife sent me a picture of a stack of books from a post that called them “Top 20 Books To Read In Your Twenties”.


(the picture, for those reading this in an app that can't render the image, is here: https://jimrazinha.files.wordpress.co...)

I’d read three already (and can only really recommend one of those, McRaven’s Make Your Bed), so I decided to see if there was any merit to the rest of the stack. I tried to imagine what a twenty-something me would take away, and of course, the current me informs how I read it now.

As I make my way through the list - this is number 16, I’ve mentally sorted them into “No”, “Qualified No”, “Qualified Yes”, “Yes” categories. When one of the books gave me pause, I had to add a new category: “Not Only No, But…”.
First, who is Swami and what are his credentials? From various bios, he made a bunch of money in the tech world and then, multiple wikis say, “On 15 March 2010, Swami renounced his material wealth[1] and left for his spiritual journey quietly. Heading straight to Kashi, he was initiated[12] into the path of renunciation by a Naga saint in a little village some eighty kilometers from Varanasi.”

What is a “Naga saint”? Internet searches return info about Nagas (female Naga are Nagis ( - Nagini, for the Harry Potter connection...look it up and you'll see), and then there are Naga sadhu (“naked saint”), rather sever ascetics. Part of credentials is credibility and a claim to meditate up to 22 hours every day (as he claimed) stretches credibility “up to” limits of belief, but mysticism is full of such claims.

Regardless, this is a lot of saccharine parables and fables, some Buddhist silliness, some Buddhist not-as-silliness, all veiled as philosophy (he even calls himself a philosopher at one point) with pseudo-deep drops like “One way to get past your past and your regrets is to give your life meaning. Once you discover the meaning, the purpose of your life, you no longer remain the old you.” Or woo woo about “the law of interconnectedness”. And he intersperses those parables with jokes, almost all of which fall flat (though perhaps someone in their twenties may not have heard any of them, so might be less unimpressed.) There aren't many "big questions' here despite the title.

An adolescent would be taken in by this. I probably would have been 50 years ago (disclosure: I was into Ayn Rand back when. Then I grew up.)

Now, sift enough and you will find some value. For instance, if you didn’t know already,
“Here are four telltale (or even clear) signs of a narcissist:
1. They can’t handle the truth
2. They are never wrong
3. They always come first
4. Their way or the highway”
But he excuses narcissists with “I may have painted a picture that makes narcissists appear like monsters. They are not. No one is. They are fragile human beings, who, beneath their cocky masks, are deeply insecure and vulnerable. Narcissistic behaviour becomes their coping mechanism more than anything else.”

The USA will have another four years of one particularly heinous narcissist who IS a monster and those signs are all true about him (he is a fragile child in an old enough to know better but doesn’t want to body.) But he’s also malignant, so we have to endure every vile spew that comes from his tiny brain.

This was buried in musings on narcissism with the lead in,
“Once, someone sent me the following email:
I wanted to ask you how to deal with a narcissistic spouse. How do you deal with them in a spiritual way? When we call someone a narcissist, why are they like that? And, what is the real meaning of narcissist? [his italics]
I think a psychologist is better trained to address these questions than a philosopher. Nevertheless, I am happy to share my thoughts on the subject.”

My note was “He’s a philosopher? And calls himself such. Huh.” Okay, okay, I'll give him that. Philosophers seem to spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to answer questions that either don’t need answers, or can’t have any meaningful answers. And they sometimes imagine questions that didn’t need to be asked. At least this time there are some questions that can have some answers.

Still… other value, a quote from Victor Frankl:

“Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast…
Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.”
Two lessons unlearned or unheeded by the electoral college majority of 2024.

And this:
“Live your life like you love it and care for it. We really don’t have the time to spend on petty thoughts, emotions, grudges, resentment, negativity. And, if you think you do, think again.”

Sift, discard the fluff, sift again, discard to woo woo, sift one more time and this can be a Qualified Yes.
1 review
May 24, 2020
Amazing perspective

I like all his books as he has deep knowledge in spiritual related questions on life in general. Keep writing .
Profile Image for T. Laane.
757 reviews93 followers
December 16, 2024
My review is about "A Guide to Stress Free Living" which I did not find here :D Anyway. To my surprise I think i I found the FIRST author besides my favorite Anthony De Melly who tells so many funny stories in between the actual material, not always linking the topics. This is the way the books should be! FUN! Some random ideas:
* It's not a problem if you want to be happy - but Problem if you rant to be happy all the time.
* You have to be calm to be at peace - and at peace to b happy.
* When someone is not happy then we can try to bring him in touch with a past thing when they were happy, where they felt pride in.
* If You are NOT at peace right now, this is not bad - this might be nature preparing you for something. Maybe to thrust you into greatness soon.
* If you battle to keep things in your life the way they are, you can not live.
* You don’t have to have some mayor glorious goal - just pick something up and run with it, life has to have SOME meaning.
* You need other people! Some time spend for you, some for others. If only on you, you can be rich etc - but not happy. You need others for that.
* There should be a balance with other things in life and one mustn't be obsessed only about one thing. There are other things important in my life as well.
* Excessive thinking is a mental disease. And why bother, since you ain't intelligent to figure it all out anyway :)
* How many friends you have depends on how many “positive sum” (adding to their lives) conversations you have in any day - meaning where you give to other people.
* When you like a flower, you pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it. In attachment we want to own and dictate. In love we want to grow and participate.
* Fear is here because we do not understand the reality. It will be gone in a second when you understand that a snake was actually a rope - and now there is no fear whatsoever. The same with things that disturb us - it’s only because we do not understand them, do not understand the reality.
* To attract the right person in your life you have to become the right person
* Nobody has ever gained strength by feeling helpless being a victim
* When your passion becomes your obsession then at one point it will consume you and drive you crazy. That’s one reason why it’s good to change one’s life from time to time.
* It’s easy to check if You have harmony in Your life - do things disturb You easily? :) One living in harmony does is not disturbed, or at least is not disturbed easily.
* You can only help those people that are like You, that value what You seem to value. You can not change most of the people, because Your ways are not what they want.
* Don't do things with an impatient mind - because then your aim is only finalizing it, not the process.
* Claims an enlightened person creates a totally different atmosphere around them. Then I am not enlightened, because I only create this inner peace for me :)
* You can not stop your bad habits by force, one has to be done with them, to rise above them.
Profile Image for Bharati.
64 reviews1 follower
March 15, 2023
Divided into four categories- Samsara, Loneliness, Self and Awakening- this book provides profound ideologies and suggestions to lead life. Om Swami highlights various issues and concerns one faces in life such as pain, sufferring, guilt, loneliness, and mindset, sometimes through anecdotes and often talks about tackling them. Most of the ideas derived from Buddhism, Om Swami manages to connect them to daily life. My favorite was the section on "Loneliness" where he talks about finding companionship withe self before looking elsewhere.
"Loneliness is what you experience when you feel utterly directionless in your life, when you find everything pointless (even if for a short while). It is remarkable how an increasing number of people are being plagued and pestered by feelings of intense loneliness."

"I think the American writer Edith Wharton was the wisest person ever on loneliness. She believed the cure for it wasn’t always to have company, but to find a way to be happy with your own company. Not to be antisocial, but not be scared of your own unaccompanied presence.
She thought the cure to misery was to “decorate one’s inner house so richly that one is content there, glad to welcome anyone who wants to come and stay, but happy all the same when one is inevitably alone”.


Major takeaways:
- Feed your mind with noble thoughts and mindset will automatically change which transforms attitude.
- Find peace and love for yourself before finding them in another person or place.
- Pain is inevitable sufferring is not.
- When you're joyous and in the 9th cloud, remind yourself that this is temporary. Similarly, when you're sad remind yourself it will pass and ask what is making you feel a certain way.
- You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize that they actually seldom do so.
-If you lead a life without utilizing skills to your full potential, you will never be able to find lasting happiness.


I thoroughly enjoyed and felt touched by the short stories/ anecdotes added in each chapter - especially the last letter.
One thing I do wish this book delivered was actionable items and TODOs. Unlike the book Mind full to Mindful this book did not have a lot of practices that could be applied in your daily routine. The book 90% dealth with opinions, suggestions, and ideas.
Profile Image for Dr. Shahid Mahmood.
12 reviews
August 31, 2024
"The Big Questions of Life" by Om Swami is a deeply insightful and thought-provoking exploration of some of the most profound questions we face as human beings. In this book, Om Swami takes readers on a journey through the intricacies of life, purpose, and existence, offering wisdom that is both practical and spiritually enriching.

What makes this book stand out is Om Swami’s ability to address complex topics with clarity and simplicity. He doesn’t shy away from the tough questions—those that many of us ponder but rarely find answers to, such as the meaning of life, the nature of happiness, and the pursuit of inner peace. His approach is not prescriptive but reflective, encouraging readers to explore these questions within the context of their own lives.

Each chapter of the book feels like a conversation with a wise friend, filled with anecdotes, philosophical insights, and practical advice. Om Swami's writing is not only intellectually stimulating but also emotionally resonant, making it accessible to readers from all walks of life. Whether you are new to spiritual literature or have been on the path for some time, this book offers something of value.

One of the key takeaways from "The Big Questions of Life" is the importance of self-inquiry and mindfulness in navigating the complexities of our existence. Om Swami gently guides readers to look within, suggesting that the answers to life’s big questions often lie in our own consciousness.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is seeking deeper understanding and meaning in life. It’s not just a book to read—it’s a book to live by. The insights shared by Om Swami are sure to stay with you long after you’ve turned the last page.

Overall, "The Big Questions of Life" is a must-read for anyone on a spiritual journey or simply looking for answers to the deeper questions of existence. I’ve given it 5 stars for its profound impact and timeless wisdom.
Profile Image for Shanthi Ramabhadran.
204 reviews1 follower
July 23, 2023
When life is uncertain, this book (Om Swamiji) explains how to lead our life peacefully and meaningfully.

This book is divided into 4 parts, your present life with family, how to deal with loneliness, your opinion about yourself, awakening-understanding your life flow.

Every topic is covered with lots of short stories (many of them are with humour ) to understand the said topic.
The author starts with “the ABC of life” which clearly conveys that the perspective of life differs from person to person based on their interpretation of circumstances, therefore the person's liberation depends on him alone.

The author says that the struggles of our life are to be used in our favour. It's nature’s way of preparing us to survive. Our struggles shape us by using a beautiful butterfly story.
He conveys that love demands sacrifice through Mulla's stories.

“The price of freedom is responsibility“. When you did something which is not supposed to, you better handle it well, if you mess up, take responsibility for your action.
The book also talks about what's loneliness, how to deal with it and how to be happy with your own company.
Wonderful and humourous is Mulla's story to convey to keep up our words. Many times people don't keep up their word even in simple situations.

He quoted Bhagvat Gita, Mahavir, Buddha and many Mulla stories which makes you understand each topic clearly with simple language.
A short book is an interesting and useful read.

Qotd: what's life according to you?
Profile Image for Jayabrata Das.
26 reviews2 followers
May 13, 2020
With each book, I am becoming a more loyal disciple of Shri Om Swamiji. If you have read any of his books, I don't need to mention how powerful his writings are. It's great to see Swamiji nowadays writing more books on handling day-to-day problems of life. After reading his last book 'The Heart of Success' I was even more curious to read this book. All his books are worth reading but this one for me is the best one till now. It discusses relationships, money, career, loneliness, enlightenment, god, karma, death, and almost everything one can think of in a lucid manner. Every lessons are accompanied by a moral story. The book is divided into four main parts as-
1. Samsara
2. Loneliness
3. Self
4. Awakening
Each parts are then divided into small chapters.
It's an asset, a manual for leading a graceful life.
Profile Image for Israel.
24 reviews
March 29, 2022
"It’s not worth it to waste our time on petty emotions, resentment, or just material goals. You may work very hard all your life so you may live by the beach for a few years after you’ve retired. Eventually, you will be in a room in the city with your children or in an aged-care where you may have a garden view at the most. To destroy your present in the hope of a better future could hardly be a wise strategy. Your today was your future yesterday. Future is not a distant date or a final destination. It’s here already, the next step."

The author puts a lot into perspective and his words may cause you to contemplate your very existence. This book is packed with many memorable/inspiring gems that will cause you to reevaluate all of the things you may take for granted. Give this one a read - you won't be disappointed.
Profile Image for Vlad.
121 reviews16 followers
September 8, 2025
It's very nice that he reads this in a very chill and happy manner. But the accent is far to strong for me to clearly understand and as a result enjoy this book. Many short segments are abruptly spoken in another language too so that didn't help.

It's great that many of the short stories and parables are unique and not something you hear in every single self help book. They often subvert your expectation and as a result have a little humor to them.

There are some good lessons in this book.

His definition of some common words/traits did not align with what I would consider their meaning to be. And they didn't match with the definitions I've heard from other authors either.

A made up example that relates to what I mean would be: him using the word compassion and then going on to describe someone who is hard working for their own personal gain.

A decent book overall.
Profile Image for Pooja S.
47 reviews1 follower
July 17, 2023
The author has beautifully explained complex concepts and big questions of life in a simple and easily understandable manner. Here is one main learning from the book. We deliberately don’t step on snakes, We don’t run into fires, and We don’t allow needles to poke us.
We stay away from such things. It’s common sense, not attachment. That’s loving-kindness towards our body. But unknowingly, We step into snakes of attachments, run into fires of desire and let needles of jealousy poke us. They cause pain. We mistake this pain as suffering.

" Suffering is not what is happening to us but how we see what is happening to us."

We have little control over the pain. But the suffering is entirely in our hands. We can either handle things with grace or let them sweep us away. Choice is ours.
Profile Image for Govind.
3 reviews
May 29, 2022
“You kill whatever you cling to. If someone doesn't want to be in your life, let that
person go. There's no wisdom in holding on to a partner,
person, employer or a thing. Everything and everyone
must ultimately perish. Separation from all that we love
is not a question of 'if but when. It's inevitable, only
a matter of time. Our childhood, adolescence, youth,
old age, all phases pass. Those who loved you deeply
yesterday may loathe you tomorrow. The memories of the
one who you loved deeply once, may only give you grief
now.”
Om Swami if my favourite author ever. He is the only reason i’m able to survive in this World. I am gonna read this book again and again. The Best Book Ever.
Profile Image for Shivam Agrawal.
19 reviews
January 24, 2025
Beautifully written.
It has advice to live a happy and peaceful life.
Reading this book feels like you are sitting in a Swaminar.
I hope i will be able to take mental notes of this wisdom and apply in real life.
Be good ( without expecting nature or others to reward it in return).
Be compassionate and kind.
Be honest.
Be gentle. Be happy.
Let grief flow its natural course ( its an emotion. Dont cry because you are crying)
Life is short. Dont waste it on petty thoughts.
Life is a river in which you can flow. Dont try to make the life. Sometimes you are in control sometimes you are not.
Accept it.
21 reviews2 followers
October 27, 2023
Great little book with eastern wisdom presented in an easy to digest way for western audiences.
Have you noticed how sometimes we give a gift to someone and want to know what exactly that person did with that gift? And we may even feel hurt if we find out that he or she didn’t use it, and passed it on to someone else. That means, we never actually parted with our gift to begin with. Where’s the act of giving in that?

When we have a failure in life, it is not so much the defeat that brings us down, but what we take it to mean about ourselves.
3 reviews
July 14, 2024
If you are looking to learn and grow as a person or simply to try and find yourself, then I recommend this book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I enjoyed the way Swami puts the reader through life lessons, using story telling to discuss feelings of suffering, loneliness, and negative emotions to help reflect on what is truly important in life. I think that this book is a wonderful compass if you are trying to improve yourself and your life. I would gladly recommend this book to anyone who is willing to listen and ready to learn.
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